the human side of ishwari - Page 2

Yes I agree. Dev has indulged her and is equally attached to her. Even the nicest people in the world will take advantage of you if you let them. It is because of this Ishwari had started her superiority rivalry. Dev coddled and pampered her way too much, that is why she was whining like a kid at a presence of another lady in his life. It's only Dev who can get out of this situation, first he has to accept that his mother is a human being, nobody can convince him or communicate him about it, it will only fall on deaf ears, he has to convince himself that his mother can make mistakes and there is no harm in letting her know if he find her wrong. He has to do a lot of repair work in the process. Ishwari being a bujurg, and a mother it is disgraceful of her to have crossed all the limits, she should realize her mistakes too and redeem herself.

Originally posted by: Push-pull

I don't know why I feel it was all Ishu's imagination that Dev isn't spending any time with her like earlier.. He had been shown as a busy person with not much time for home. And Ishwari encourages him to get tied up more with his work.. She knows that it was only for her birthday that he takes special time out from his busy schedule to be with her during the shopping.. And that's what Dev missed this year for want of a surprise to his mom.. If at all anything after Sona's entry in his life he has started valuing the moments and quality time that he spends with everyone at home.. It's only because Ishu wants to exaggerate things and want to convince herself that she isn't imagining things, she says about him spending more time with her.. And Dev being Dev immediately falls into the guilt mode for spending time with Sona...

Even during Ishu's birthday, Dev walks in to her room at midnight knowing that she'll be waiting for him to wish her and give her first blessings to him..

Both were indulging themselves too much into each other's attention thinking that they are special for the other person.. but in truth it was all about themselves in their own minds.. never been about the other...

And the makers too conveniently uses this in favour to justify Ishwari's insecurities.

Why didn't Ish doubt about Dev missing in the middle of his nights when he went to meet Sona when they were just friends?! Ishwari didn't realize any of his changes until she started seeing it through Radharani's eyes...

Originally posted by: Push-pull

The more Dev insists on keeping his mother in her given position the more the expectations are gonna grow high from the mother.. If Dev fills a good bank balance for his mother with all facilities intact without any impact on her position, is that what he means by nothing is gonna affect their relationship?

If Ishwari expects him to spend every Sunday with her without being disturbed by anyone else including his wife and kids, is that how Dev has to prove that nothing is gonna affect their relationship?

The more Dev is expected to indulge himself in arriving at conditions and proof of evidence the more the relationship is gonna be conditional and stressful.. It's better he indulges himself fully into one relationship for want of satisfying Ishwari and her needs.. If that's what we are asking him to do in the name of balancing his relationship..

Originally posted by: gigi16

Yes I agree. Dev has indulged her and is equally attached to her. Even the nicest people in the world will take advantage of you if you let them. It is because of this Ishwari had started her superiority rivalry. Dev coddled and pampered her way too much, that is why she was whining like a kid at a presence of another lady in his life. It's only Dev who can get out of this situation, first he has to accept that his mother is a human being, nobody can convince him or communicate him about it, it will only fall on deaf ears, he has to convince himself that his mother can make mistakes and there is no harm in letting her know if he find her wrong. He has to do a lot of repair work in the process. Ishwari being a bujurg, and a mother it is disgraceful of her to have crossed all the limits, she should realize her mistakes too and redeem herself.

Originally posted by: Push-pull

We are still in the same mode of expectation from our kids.. In our old age our kids should return the favor to take care of us.. And when we indulge them with all our love we expect them to be dutiful and grateful to that.. If the babies know this is what they are gonna face when they are out in the world then no babies would want to be born.. 😆

Originally posted by: adoremevirgo

of course not...dev must not prove that all his free time is for ish and all his emotions like love and happiness is only for ishwari...

this is wat ish feels... i wrote from her view...wat dev needs to tell her that she will not be losing a son...

let me put it this way...today in the real world there r thousands of instances where parents grow old and their children put them in oldage homes...in many cases i hv seen DIL comes and sons get influenced by their wives and either move to a new house to stay separate from parents or move them to oldage homes...

i am sure ish does not believe dev will ever do this...but some underlying fear remains like dev not spending any time with her at all or he may forget to do his duties toward her like forgetting to buy her medicines and so on...previously she once doubted that he forgot her medicines only to be proved wrong by dev...but such doubts still exist in her mind...maybe she doesnt believe her son will ever distance himself from her but maybe she fears that sona may make him do so as i said no dearth of such examples in the real world...

this is wat dev needs to convince her...not that she is his only world but that she will always be an important part of his larger world where sona will also hold an equally important position...

Originally posted by: Push-pull

@bold: At one point I liked this special equation between this mom-son duo.. Remembering Dev chiding her for running around during Neha's visit to their house after her marriage.. He said "I caught your cheating naa".. It was nice to care for the mother this way.. And it has to be natural and an expression of real affection.But when the same becomes like an expectation and goes on to become a demand, all the natural instinct gets killed.. Making every expression out of duty and expected out of the role ..🥱 I am really doing a face palm whenever Dev takes care of Ish.. Or whenever Ish expresses her side of emotional outpour for her son.. It all looks so fake now... over exploited and completely stretched beyond the elastic limits.. sad that their bond lost the original charm. And it can never be the same again .🥱

Originally posted by: Push-pull

@bold: At one point I liked this special equation between this mom-son duo.. Remembering Dev chiding her for running around during Neha's visit to their house after her marriage.. He said "I caught your cheating naa".. It was nice to care for the mother this way.. And it has to be natural and an expression of real affection.But when the same becomes like an expectation and goes on to become a demand, all the natural instinct gets killed.. Making every expression out of duty and expected out of the role ..🥱I am really doing a face palm whenever Dev takes care of Ish.. Or whenever Ish expresses her side of emotional outpour for her son.. It all looks so fake now... over exploited and completely stretched beyond the elastic limits.. sad that their bond lost the original charm. And it can never be the same again .🥱

Originally posted by: Push-pull

@bold: This is exactly where my question related to the norms of being a dutiful son arise.. what is the problem if the son decides to go to a separate house to start his new family? What about the mothers who do not have any son? Why do we still hold on to that expectation where we are moving on with so many forward thoughts? If Ishwari has confined herself into a simple woman of being worried about her financial stability or concerned about being in an old age home, then why can't she just demand a separate house on her own name.. nobody can move her out of it.. legally bound.. or let's take that she's not smart enough for all such manipulation, when Dev gets to know about the insecurities of Ish, if he does that and appoints a full time caretaker for her will she then be done with all her complaint?!

Originally posted by: adoremevirgo

nothing wrong at all if sons move to separate house considering parents's financial needs will be fulfilled...

i remember in a movie called sansar rekha said in the final scene that it is better to stay separate physically and remain united emotionally than living together physically and getting distanced emotionally...if ishwari doesnt change then dev will bound to feel overwhelmed by her persence one day or the other and will get emotionally disconnected...so if ishwari wants dev to stay with her and near her then she shud allow him to live his own life...a life where she may not have any role to play...

but ishwari so much luks forward to moments that she can spend with dev that she will die of fear (if not of overdose of pills) if she is allowed to think that dev will shift to a new house...

but that is not the point because we know dev wont do that ever...the point is not living tog or separate...the point is that i hv seen many over possessive mothers like ish...wat is needed is that they need to learn that such possessiveness can suffocate a relationship...dev did not feel the suffocation all these years but that doesnt mean he will never feel more because he is in love now and he has realized that he has a life separate from ishwari...