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Because my literal logic is when in depression, I write!
Enjoy reading and give your feedback and appreciation if you like it 😳
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It was a stupid fight.
It was a stupid fight with stupid words exchanged and stupid things that neither girl could take back.
Now, both girls sat juxtaposed each other in their colorful bedroom. Sonakshi placed herself on the bed, stating she would not let the atmosphere be tainted with the "stupidity" of the situation.
"Elena, this is ridiculous."
No response.
"You're acting like a little kid. It's time for us to grow up."
Still nothing.
"You can't always be right, Sonakshi! You don't get whatever you want in life. Dev-
"You think that's what I'm upset about?" gritted Sonakshi, whipping her head up so fast, blonde whips of hair hung messily about her face.
"I-
"You don't get it, do you?"
Elena frowned.
"You think I don't know that? God, Elena! I'm the expert of not getting things I want, you know that. This isn't about me not getting things my way, this is about him choosing Natasha over me. Ever since they started dating each other, it's been all about their couple time and things I don't wanna hear about."
Elena glared, as she clenched her fist in her lap. "You're not acting selfish, Sonakshi Bose. Why can't you just think about yourself for once?"
Silence. Sonakshi felt her eyes blurring, her head and heart ached.
"I'm going to Dev's home," she whispered.
Her leave was welcomed with a huff from Elena and no request to come back.
It was a week. A full week without Dev and Sonakshi talking. A full week where it seemed like everyone was against Sonakshi.
Instead, she focused on making diet charts and helping Dev's mother.
Elena didn't try to talk to her and advise her more, either. Instead, she spent time working on the college newspaper and hanging out with Neel.
Dev. Sonakshi felt her insides want to burst when she thought of him.
As she stood by the kitchen cupboards, she watched Nikki walk by talking with Neha. She didn't bother making eye contact with them. They were on Natasha's side. Everyone always took Natasha's side.
"Why wouldn't they?", she thought. I'm just the girl with the messed up love life and a sister who lives a fantasy life.
She jumped as she closed the cupboard. Someone had been waiting there to talk to her.
"We need to talk."
Sonakshi glared. "You wouldn't want to be seen talking with me. Do that and you just might lose a girlfriend."
She turned to walk away, but Dev grabbed her arm, swinging her back around again.
"Sonakshi."
"Isn't this what you wanted, Dev?" she choked. She wasn't going to cry today. Not in front of him. "You finally got Natasha all to yourself. You got rid of the stupid friend that teases you and makes your life miserable because you cannot figure out girls."
He frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"What I'm talking about is the fact that everyone chose her over me. That's how it's going to be from now on."
"You're crazy if you think anyone cares any less about you. And I refuse to let you say stuff like that."
Her eyes were getting very blurry now. She looked up, begging for her eyes not to betray her.
Sonakshi took a deep breath. "You don't get it, do you?"
"No, I guess I don't," said Dev, watching her face carefully. He swallowed as he followed the tear travel down her cheek.
"I'm not...I don't deserve happiness. I'm the mess with the messy family, messy love life, messy everything. Natasha...she's all I had that was close to the 'perfect' I wished I could be."
"Sonakshi-
"And, okay, fine," more tears spilled down her face as she continued. "Maybe I am jealous, alright? Maybe, I'm angry because everything good that happens to me...everything that I love never lasts. I don't know what I did-
"SONAKSHI-
"AND OKAY, I should be a better doctor. I should be a better daughter. I should be a better friend, but I wasn't. I'm supposed to be a mature adult now. And now...I just...
She was breaking. She was exposed. Dev watched as she placed a hand on her forehead and slid back against the cupboards and seating herself on the floor. Worriedly, he knelt beside her. This poor soul, he thought. She's only a little girl at heart.
When her breathing regulated, she continued, slowly and very timidly, "I guess this is just part of what I need to do to be a better person. I just-I can't be happy for her all the time. And she and you-she looked up at him, at this point. Brown met Gray and Dev swore his breath hitched-you're the ideal couple. And...I should've known she would've cared more for you than I ever could."
He sighed as he continued to watch her wipe her eyes on her kurta. She was late for home.
"Sonakshi."
Nothing.
"Sonakshi."
Still nothing.
"Sonakshi...please. Just look at me."
She closed her eyes briefly, then met his eyes shyly. Dark lashes framed her eyes, slightly red from crying.
What a beautiful soul.
"Sonakshi...do you know how much I care about you?"
He saw her eyes widen slightly. She doesn't know.
She blinked twice. Dev gently placed his arm around her, encasing her in between the cupboard and the side of his rib cage.
"Dev," she began, using his real name. "I...I mean...are we even friends?" Sonakshi began to build her walls up again.
He frowned, she noticed his jaw hardening and his stare becoming icy.
"How can you say that? After everything we've been through?"
"Face it Mr. Abodhro. I'm no good for you. I'm..."
"You're saying I'm only friends with you because I have to be on good terms with you for my mother's sake?"
"I-
He was frustrated. "How could you think that? Sonakshi, c'mon, I...
Dev forced her to look at him, following her gaze as she shifted her eyes uncomfortably. He also forced himself to not get angry. He felt a vein pop in his neck, a warning sign of an outburst.
"Sonakshi, I," he continued slowly. "I am you. I'm not the perfect person, you know that. You're the one who gets me, and I get you. Do you realize how amazing it is to have someone like you who just gets it?"
"I'm sorry that you've felt like you weren't cared about...but Sonakshi, you have to know that everyone will always care about you. I will always care for you. And you deserve happiness. Out of all of us here, Sonakshi...you're the one who makes me want to get better at life."
She gaped at him. Eyes shining with realization.
A beautiful, brave woman.
"I'm sorry, Sonakshi," he whispered.
The pair continued to sit there for many minutes. Sonakshi was very late to go home now and Dev refused to unwrap himself around her, as he held her more, humming occasionally.
Sonakshi breathed in and out.
She felt herself slowly feeling...feeling something. But what? She had no idea yet.
All she knew was that he, he cared. And she began to get up, Dev snapping out of his daze and following her up. He stared at her, my gosh, how he stared at her.
"I'm going to talk with Elena now."
"Okay," said Dev. He stared at her. So intently, Sonakshi had wondered why she'd never seen that look on his face before.
"I-
"I care about you, Sonakshi," he said quickly, desperately. As if those were his last words.
"I know, Mr. Dixit. I know that now...thank you."
The sunrise streaked through the windows of the kitchen's doors close to Sonakshi. Dev saw her beauty even more now, in the orange tint of the sky's illumination. He saw her brown eyes turn into flecks of translucent light almost. Her hair was a mess, but it was Sonakshi in the truest form.
After he walked her to the Bose's apartment and after he reminded her once more and after he took a shower, brushed his teeth, and went to bed without doing any of his work, he laid there wondering what the hell he was feeling that morning as the sun had framed her in something special.
He felt himself slowly feeling something...but what? He had no idea yet.
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