SS: Colourful colours Flashback Story|Chapter 2, Page 3 - Page 2

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sririt thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#11
Hey, great start.
Can you PM me after you post the next update please?
Choclate... thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#12

CHAPTER 2:
So here comes the update For all Of you. I won't speak up much and Bore you all and and and THANKYOU to everyone for supporting me, Really Very very thankful to everyone and sorry as I was not able to reply anyone as my computer always hangs and I get too irritated. Anyways so Here everyone go:
Dev rewinds all past moment spend with her which are too beautiful and too memorable to forget too easily...

1).THE MEET~~FLASHBACK~~THE MEET(FIRST)
DEV'S POV...

What the hell? Ek toh phele se hi ghar par puja hai aur maa apne aap ko samjhti kya hai??? Jab chah ladoo bana ne lagi phir hath jala legi, Beta Dev tu kisko bol raha ye sab haan? Apni Stubborn maa ko, ab bhai jaisa Beta waisi hi toh maa bhi hogi na, Idiot!!!
And was left smiling... But when he hears Tina saying the Allendes Dean's meet shifted in evening, once more his anger ka para or tempreature toches the skies and starts shouting at her,
Dev: Agar unhone phele se hi decide karke ke rakha tha ki wo abhi nahi par sham ko meeting karge toh phir unko bhi bol dijiye ki main Kal meeting karnuga, Fair Enough yeah!!
And countinued talking on phone and walking by seeing if he got everything right for havan and grahpravesh...

SONAKSHI'S POV...
Bhai bhi na! Aa nahi skta tha ki help kade mera sara saman uthane main par nahi agar main use sath le aati toh healthy cheezon/things ke bajaye woh puri junk food jaise ladoo, peda, cold drink or icecream ki puri ki puri dukan utha lata, Just an idiot he is, ufff

Pata nahi hai ki yeh kaise hogaya matalab Behen nutritionist hai aur bhai full junk foods par toot hi padata hai, And even she was for a moment left smiling. Aree But can't someone have helped this Bechari jo itna sara saman utha rahi hai, Mere toh hath bhi dard kar rahe hai aur first of all mujhe toh kuch dikh nahi raha because of this parvat or mountain of things. Sona beta aaj hi tujhe kya sara saman kharidana tha but sees her scooty and have a relif thinking that now she'll be Free, Freeedom Freedom Freedom, Hurray!! And fastens her walking pace...

THIRD PERSON'S POV

Here Sonakshi was moving at quite fast speed and even Dev was having the hurry, It was looking as if Both want to catch the Chennai Express or local trains. And the god played the game and up turned the dice of life game and relaxed saying Ye toh trailer hai abhi picture shuru hona baki hai!!!!! And there down under him happened what the God wanted and Wooohooo Ye lo sabse phele aata gira instead of Flowers, Chalo koi nahi aur koi baat bhi nahi agli baar kaash Flowers hi gire...

DEV'S POV:

While checking if he brought everything and suddenly he felt bumping someone and in atmosphere only aata/wheat falling on him and wait she was a girl In her 20s or would be of 25 but who damn cares he is even not able to see her and let alone he would be needing a shower as this girl dropped whole aata on me and I am not able to even see. And Then he sees a glimpse of her when slowly slowly the wheat in atmosphere starts dissolving and yes she was kind of pretty...

SONAKSHI'S POV:

Oh My God Why I am not able to see anything? Why? Please lead me the way to my scooty! And then she felt bumping someone or crashing someone and all things falling from her hand and Wheat that she was carring also falling into air and whosoever the man standing in front of me. He would be of 27 or of my age but OMG this aata ki bori have to fall today only. Now it's becoming visble to eyes and he is really handsome...

DEV'S POV:

Dev what the hell are You Thinking. Get on the Right mind Beta. U know what Dev aaj kuch accha ho hi nahi raha tere saath... Matlab phele toh maa ki pagalpanti phir Mr. Bose ko jab call kiya toh who stupid ladki jo baar baar phone utha rahi thi apne bhai ka aur mujhe gyaan dene lagi ki maine uske bhai ko ladoo kyun diya? Areee ye koi question hota hai kya matlab khusi ke wakt main use ladoo nahi loki/Bottle groud dun kya and wait a minute, what she said... Haan yaad aya!!! Kaha ki mujhe bottle groud khan a chaayi so that mera Anger Management Issue sahi ho jaye aur lipid level aur dibates ka gyaan de rahi thi, Kabhi samane aajaye toh main batoun usko ki main hoon kon...

Girl(Sona)(Shouts): Oh Hello dekh ke chalna nahi aata toh ghar par bhitana sikhyo, samjhe Mr.

And Dev Was Like what the hell, wait she shouted on me and how dare she????

SONAKSHI'S POV:

Wow Sona Tera din toh aaj aisa ja raha hai matlab main bohot khush hoon, My foot!!!! Aaj lag raha hai jaise sari duniya ki problems mere sar par chad gayi hai, Phele toh woh phone call joh Bhai ke boss ka tha akhir apne aap ko samjhta kya hai matlab mithai bhi diya toh itni sari, lagta hai janta nahi ki kitni chinni hpoti usme jis se kisi ko bhi diabetes ho sakta hai aur plus aapka lipid level badha sakta and he is surely having Anger management issue as uski tone... Ufff... Aur phir ye idiot man who is glaring me takraya toh ye par glare mujhe kar raha hai sorry kehne ke bajaye. Isse toh iski dream world se bhaar lana hi pade ga And Sona says

Sona: Oh Hello dekh ke chalna nahi aata toh ghar par baithna sekhyio, samjhe Mr.

THIRD PERSON'S POV:

After sona screams on Dev. Dev gets hell angry on her. Dev: Dekhyie Aur agar aap ko bata karna nahi aata thik se toh chup rehna sikhye, Samjhi. And he too gives back a resort to her. Sona: Achaa ek toh chori uupr se(on top of it), And stops for a moment and thinks Beta Sona iske baad kya aata hai, Uupr se, Uupr se, Yaar Sona think hard... And Dev Speaks up: Seena zori and thinks that wow itna popular mohavra(idiom) iss ladki ko toh pata hi nahi hai. But Sona says : Mujhe ye mohavara use nahi karna tha and sits down to pick up her things. Even Dev sits down to pick up his things. And then Sona thinks for a moment and says: Chaliye Sorry kahiye. Dev was like whaattt and says: Dekhyie Ms. Galti aapki thi. Sona: Oh hello ye front facing accident tha, na ki maine aapko piche se aakar takar maari, Dhyaan kahan par tha aapka. And then sees that he was talking with someone on phone and once again says: Oh toh phone par girlfriend se baat ho rahi thi. Dev was getting irritated every moment she spoke something or other and says: Baat personal ho rahi thi. Sona speaks up: Girlfriend ka naam aaya toh gussa. Dev: Meri koi girlfriend wirlfriend nahi hai. Sona: Ho bhi nahi sakti kyunki aap aur aapka gussa ek couple jo hai. Ufff the height of this girl Dev thought... Dev: Toh aapko lagta hai ki aap ki koi galti nahi hai, Right... Sona:40% and then notices his action of getting exasperated and then says Ok 45%, Chaliye 40-60 karte hai. Dev thinks chalo bhaago Dev isse phele ye ladki mujhe pagal bana de and stands up and starts walking. Sona was like Pata nahi kahan kahan se log aa jate hai, And then difficultly gets up due to load of things.

DEV'S POV:

Something in Dev forces to look at that girl. And he turns behind to see her. Even she too turns at that moment, what made me turn, glaring me as if I did some crime whereas whole mistake was her's 40-60 karte, Are we small kids, Idiotic!!!

SONA'S POV:

Something in her forced to look at him. But can glare only as he made her drop her whole aata on him. What made me turn and his anger ufff... Biggest Stupid Idiot!

MY POV:

Even the second meet was same and they fought once more and this time he even called her that aisi psycho biwi ke saath kon rehna chayega which angered Sona more.

In the third meet when Dr.Sinha called her to meet him then once more they started fighting there only but she calmed down knowing he needed a diet chart for his mother and helped him out.

But it becomes a limit and literally he crossed it according to her, matlab think that he will give her doble salary no no no Triple but wants her to become his mother's personal nutritionist but Did Sona would have accepted? Obviously not as he is simply insulting her.

But the fifth meet changed everything for Sona and Sixth meet changed or actually shocked Dev like anything...

Will continue it from here if possible tomorrow or else on upcoming weekend matlab Sat-sun... So guys, give your reviews about How was this chapter. I would describe every moment like this will that be OK as my narrative or describing POV's would be too long just like this. And aadat se majboor I can't change that!!! Good or bad but give comments and likes are must. And if any suggestions or something to correct then please tell me. I would be glad...

With Lots Of Love, Anushka



Edited by Choclate... - 9 years ago
Choclate... thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#13

Originally posted by: sririt

Waiting for next update.


Sure will update😊
1017333 thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#14
Nice chapter!
And cherry on the cake is . . . its hilarious!
I.mean Dev is on full tashan and sona
Bechaari pondering over her brother's unhealthy habits!
The "TAKRAAV" was awesomely described!
I loved it!
But one thing I'd like to point out is that...don't get me wrong but the chapter got me a little confused!
You know you described the same incident in many different pov's and dev's and sona's thoughts were too similar since the starting of the chapter!
I hope you bring a little variety in thought processes of these both and plzz don't lose the hilariousness!
I suggest you to use only one POV and by that trust me the story becomes really entertaining coz you don't know the thoughts of the other one who's POV is not included!
You can also use third person POV...
This was my Advice being a writer...I hope you took it positively!
Do continue soon and pm me! :)
LilyPotter thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#15
It's really good, Anushka.😊
I loved their first meet. It was quite entertaining. 😆
I would like to reiterate ananya925's review and say that it would be a bit less confusing if you stick to one person's POV. Even better, you can alternate between the POV's of the protagonists in each succeeding chapter. I hope you don't mind me saying so.
Thanks for the PM and do update soon. Why, you ask? Cause I'll be waiting.😆
Edited by LilyPotter - 9 years ago
sneharay thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 9 years ago
#16
Superb..their first meet is mindblowing...
cherrynicolem thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#17
Lovely chapter
Both povs were well presented
Thank you for the pm
Mannmohanaa thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 9 years ago
#18
Res, so sorry dear! Will unress asap...😉
Thanks for the pm😳
asifiqbalsh thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 9 years ago
#19
Nice start dear
Liked their meetings
Dev started telling everything to his friend.
Update soon plz
Do pm me if u can
Thanks
Mannmohanaa thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 9 years ago
#20
Unress
Wonderful dear! I loved your Pov format and the style of narration
Very fresh to read!

Continue soon
Keep it up!👏😳

Love,
Mahi

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