A KARANIKA SS:'Had It Been So!'-ch.5-pg.27 - Page 5

KARANIKA …this word was creating a havoc of emotions within him since a few days..he had decided to let go off things and move on; well atleast that is what he thought was the best for both of them.. But that night !! that party !! Rohan's video dedicated to karan and kritika !! All this became too much for him to take in – vaise toh that video should have been a normal thing for karan..infact he was used to watching VMs made by fans for him and does it even need to be mentioned that he simply loved how his fans took out time from their busy lives and made an effort to pour out all their love for him..!!

But this video..maybe it was the song that played in the background or maybe the fact that kittu came to HIS party but -"mujhe bina mile chali gai woh"..he still remembered mentioning this to Raj - that he just couldn't keep a check on his emotional outburst at that moment.. He wanted to say a lot of things..to himself and to her ! But, somehow he never could muster up the strength to go and sort out things..

Karan was all lost into these deep thoughts when billu turned up at his place.. They had a boys night out planned with all their "vehla" gang of friends as they so proudly called themselves.. For karan, this was a way maybe to let all these thoughts flow out of his mind as all he was wishing for right now was a moment when he could feel nothing but just be numb !!! But as they say, the more you run from facing that guy in the mirror, the more life shall provide you with mirrors around… Karan wanted this night-out plan to be a very fun-filled one..but even here, all he could think of was the amazing parties and masti wale moments THEY used to share..All he could think of was those amazing memories that were created together L..

"ENOUGH !!!!!!!", thought karan.. I simply have to talk to her, no matter what.. I know, it was my decision to end this relation.. I know I could not give her the attention she deserved.. I know that for her, self respect is what matters the most.. But, things can no longer continue to be the same way as they are now.. "Silence is just not my style .." he spoke to himself.. And all this while a scene was playing in the back of his mind.. the day when some of their fans had come to meet them up on the sets of KMH2 ..How they were fighting over who speaks more, over which colored shirt suited him more, over the teddy-bear pair that was gifted to them from which one went around kittu's neck and the other- well, simply hung around his knee – "those were some moments", sighed karan, all this while a huge smile playing on his face..

Seeing his bhaiya smiling after such a long time..billu had to ask.. 'aap itna smile kyu kar rahe ho ??" "kuchh nai..bas I m going to find the answers to a lot of questions that are running in the minds of my fans ,tomorrow morning", said karan in the typical kundra style..!!

But, little did he know that he shall be so nervous to even ring the doorbell to kittu's home..a place wherein lied a lot of treasured moments of his life.. a place that was so well known to him.. and yet here he was, contemplating whether he should ring the bell or not… And as luck had it, when finally he mustered up enough courage to talk to her and finally the damn doorbell was rung..she was not at home !! All he could think of was whether he felt relieved or did this mean a few more days of an emotional ruckus in his nerves ?!?!

All this while, what karan never knew was that somewhere else too, a clash of thoughts was taking place in someone else's mind as well.. The answer that she had recently given to a fan's question in a magazine – does it become difficult sometimes to portray your emotional side when you know a lot of people are always following your life? – was constantly nudging her to think of those times when she knew she had someone besides her whom she could have a blind faith on and go for a free fall; KITTU , a person who has always been outrightly honest and straightforward about her life because she knows that her fans deserve to know the truth and she owes them all atleast this much, in return of all the attention, admiration, care and concern that they have always had for her.

'We are still the closest of friends..anything new that happens in our lives, we are the first ones to know about it".. She knew, she could still depend on him for almost any problem.. She knew that they still shared the same rapport as ever.. then what went so wrong ?? Why did she feel a lump in her throat, a pinch in her heart even now when she read the comments and questions from fans asking her whether they'd ever see them together or not ?? Even she had not missed the point that these people who loved them so much were now a bit over dejected and were still finding it hard to accept that its never going to be "KARANIKA" again..!! "Is it actually never going to be so"..she brushed aside this thought from her mind even before her mind could start its "think trip" all over again.. !! ' main jaanta hu..agar main tumhe phone karta hu, ya msg bhejta hu ya tere saamne aata hu toh tu roti hai..i know..' ..This voice message from karan had made her ponder over a lot of things, one of them being that they still know each other better than anyone else could ever do .

Yes, even kritika could not stop herself from thinking if all this deserved another chance ??? Was the decision too hasty?? .. She was not able to stop her mind from reminiscing about the days when she could so proudly claim how she and karan were the "cool and happening" wale couple and not the "mushy romantic type.." !! She realized that people around her who loved her so much – be it fans or friends – still never tired from telling her how they miss the old 'kittu', how they missed that masti wale interviews and that something is amiss nowadays..!! Why did she not disagree to all this?? Why is it that even she missed "those" times too even though it has been so long since they both decided to accept the fact that they can no longer be 'karanika' ..?!?

"Yeh dono jhagadte bhi hai toh lagta hai..haaaye..kitna pyaar hai in ke beech mein.. aur mere dimaag mein ek gaana play ho raha hota hai – jaane kyu..dil jaanta hai..tu hai toh I'd be alright..!!"…

Someone had sent her a link on her page with the title – "super nostalgic..miss those days".. how true, thought kittu…That V-day interview, the indore trip pe world famous chocolate paan and delhi trip pe momos, the time when karan tried to pretend he had cooked food for her and she caught him red-handed, the time when he drove from Jalandhar to Mumbai just because it was her b'day..these were just some of the moments from the list of memories so deeply etched in her mind that she knew they were never going to fade..

Mit gaya rishta, na miti yaadein! Ki aakhri thi voh alvida, jise na kabhi mein bhula sakaa..

-karan kundra's post on his twitter handle

Was it just the song that he was talking about ?? And why am I even thinking so much about just a tweet ?? As much as she tried to divert her mind from not thinking about him, all that her mind could think of these days was how beautiful the past was.. "main jaanti hu ke hamara past bahot khoobsurat hai..par mujhe usse bhi khoobsurat hamara future banana hai..woh bhi tumhare saath.."; she couldn't restrain herself from thinking about this dialogue from KMH2… Were we both too stubborn? Could this have turned out to be different ?? She decided to let time and fate give her these answers… as doing this was the only solace she could find….

"Kritika ki sabse achhi baat ye hai ke agar main bahot kharab mood me hota hu..matlab ekdum terrorist type mood me..toh agar koi muje CALM DOWN kar sakta hai toh who sirf ye hai..

Hayye..main toh FALL DOWN ho jaaungi…"

Just like two people so connected to each other.. these dialogues from the time when they had officially let the world know about them being together played in the hearts of these two people at the same moment- despite the distance between them, despite not knowing that they both have been thinking about each other - two people who think that "pyaar toh bahot hai..par misunderstandings itni ho gai..dooriyaan itni badh gai, ke ab lagta hai ki paas nahi aaya jaayega phirse"… Was this really true in their case ??