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i saw both episodes back to back just now. monday's show left me breathless. a nearly perfect monday show - what is going on here??!
but a curious thing happened during tuesday's show. at some point, i could feel my heart disengaging and floating away - the tendons detached, the arteries dissolved, and i could feel it sink away from my chest and vanish into thin air. all because prem said, with complete vulnerability and utmost hopelessness and full conviction
mei bhagwan nehi hoo, heer, bhagwan nehi hoo mei. nehi dekh saktha hoo mei.
and i haven't got back my bearings since then. has there ever been anything so perfectly done, so perfectly convincing? since then, my heart's not been what i knew it before. i'm sure it isn't there.
everytime i check for my heartbeat, i hear that line, in that voice, with that piteous expression, desperately clutching her hands in his. i'm terrified that if i don't hear it, my mom will find me dead in front of my machine that's running this episode over and over again, and she'll start a campaign to get hc banned from ever touching a tv show for the rest of his life! 😆
i've watched very few hindi-tv shows. kyph was the first, meri-awaaz.. was the latest, with a bit of kavyanjali in between. i heard about this show, and was totally dismissive - set in rural punjab, two girls, old father-friends, marriage promises made during childhood? i expected the worst of the worst from balaji: chauvinistic guys, submissive girls, torturous elders. antiquated cultural values, vomitous human behaviour. and all of it was coming true.
then they throw prem into the mix. and heer. and in the middle of dirtchachi vitriol, and the laluchacha fixation on making his sons pay for his sins, there's suddenly a spotlight on how perfect a real guy and a real girl can be, and how perfect a love can be, even if they don't say it aloud, or have a happy ending. this was suddenly enough: perfectly-cool-perpetually-controlled prem saying this to heer. something he couldn't ever say to the his best confidant mother, something no-one else will ever be able to make him say.
i used to feel irritated that balaji were never brave enough to have angad-kripa actually kiss. their dances were passionate, their hugs tight, but past that, there was only the frustration of hitting the cultural barrier of no further intimacy.
the scene with prem and heer standing forehead-to-forehead, nose-to-nose, with prem whispering his love and grinding out his threats if she will not be happy with or without him. where heer - heer! who was brutally pushing prem earlier because she wants to punish him for making her dream about his stepping up to all the world so that she wouldn't ever be alone again - reaches up to gently wipe his tears. where heer holds his face tenderly against her cheek. where all they do is nuzzle each other's faces like two young animals in the dark, holding onto each other with clear gentleness, without a whisper of harshness.
i no longer needed a kiss. this was intimacy of the sweetest, purest form.
and i can't believe that the balaji team has come up with it! i can't believe i've lost my heart to something that they created. and i want it back, damnit, i want it back!
😕
but a curious thing happened during tuesday's show. at some point, i could feel my heart disengaging and floating away - the tendons detached, the arteries dissolved, and i could feel it sink away from my chest and vanish into thin air. all because prem said, with complete vulnerability and utmost hopelessness and full conviction
mei bhagwan nehi hoo, heer, bhagwan nehi hoo mei. nehi dekh saktha hoo mei.
and i haven't got back my bearings since then. has there ever been anything so perfectly done, so perfectly convincing? since then, my heart's not been what i knew it before. i'm sure it isn't there.
everytime i check for my heartbeat, i hear that line, in that voice, with that piteous expression, desperately clutching her hands in his. i'm terrified that if i don't hear it, my mom will find me dead in front of my machine that's running this episode over and over again, and she'll start a campaign to get hc banned from ever touching a tv show for the rest of his life! 😆
i've watched very few hindi-tv shows. kyph was the first, meri-awaaz.. was the latest, with a bit of kavyanjali in between. i heard about this show, and was totally dismissive - set in rural punjab, two girls, old father-friends, marriage promises made during childhood? i expected the worst of the worst from balaji: chauvinistic guys, submissive girls, torturous elders. antiquated cultural values, vomitous human behaviour. and all of it was coming true.
then they throw prem into the mix. and heer. and in the middle of dirtchachi vitriol, and the laluchacha fixation on making his sons pay for his sins, there's suddenly a spotlight on how perfect a real guy and a real girl can be, and how perfect a love can be, even if they don't say it aloud, or have a happy ending. this was suddenly enough: perfectly-cool-perpetually-controlled prem saying this to heer. something he couldn't ever say to the his best confidant mother, something no-one else will ever be able to make him say.
i used to feel irritated that balaji were never brave enough to have angad-kripa actually kiss. their dances were passionate, their hugs tight, but past that, there was only the frustration of hitting the cultural barrier of no further intimacy.
the scene with prem and heer standing forehead-to-forehead, nose-to-nose, with prem whispering his love and grinding out his threats if she will not be happy with or without him. where heer - heer! who was brutally pushing prem earlier because she wants to punish him for making her dream about his stepping up to all the world so that she wouldn't ever be alone again - reaches up to gently wipe his tears. where heer holds his face tenderly against her cheek. where all they do is nuzzle each other's faces like two young animals in the dark, holding onto each other with clear gentleness, without a whisper of harshness.
i no longer needed a kiss. this was intimacy of the sweetest, purest form.
and i can't believe that the balaji team has come up with it! i can't believe i've lost my heart to something that they created. and i want it back, damnit, i want it back!
😕
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