|| Dil ko choo liya..||ch 1- 58.COMMENT!! - Page 6

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suryavni thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#51
hey ...see u all on monday...till then 😆😆😆enjoy

Chapter 11

Every one was seated at the breakfast table.as Prem came down.

"wow parathe…..lekin maa.. Yeh sab to PB ka favorite hai….Main ,aapka apna beta ghar aaya hai merely kuch bhi special nahi…"Preet whined.

"are beta..tujhe special kya cahiye..tum bachpan se Prem ki pasand ko apna maante aaye ho…waise aaj Heer ne tera special bhi tayar kiya hai…."

"wow gajar ka halwa….yumm…"

Prem was having an inner battle…his brain wanted him to stop staring at Heer while his eyes…..never left her…Heer was silently serving food but she could feel the heat of his look…and she felt uncomfortable…

"Aaachu…"….."excuse me…."Prem sneezed .

Preet choked on his halwa….put his hand on his head and started laughing like mad.

Prem sneezed a few more times and Veera looked at prem concerned .Her glance then fell on Heer and saw her face change from a 'save-me-from-here' expression to a worried one.

"Preet chup kar…..koi cheekhe to aise haste hai kya…."Veera scolded Preet.

"wo..PB……20-30 minutes……shower ke neeche……hahaha…..kaha tha na…hahaha….sardi lag jayega…..hahaha…."

But his laughter died out the instant he saw Heer's worried expression.

"oh no…di bhi bheegi thi…..to kya…"Preet got up."PB aap theek to hai…"

"mujhe kuch theek nahi lag raha Preet…main ghar jaata hoon hum discussions baad main karenge aunty…"Prem stood up.his brows were twitching in a head ache and eyes had become blood red.

"ek minute PB..aapko temperature to nahi hai..?"Preet got near Prem and checked."are aapko tho bukhar hai!"

"wo Preet ghar jaakar aaram karoge to theek ho jaaoonga…"

Balraj intervened. "Prem tum yahi aaram karlo…aur yahaan to ek would -be-docter bhi hai.."

"Main Lalit ko phone kar deti hoon…." Veera went to the phone. A worried Heer stood there as Preet led Prem to guest room.

………………………………....*..................................................................*........................................

Heer kept the medicine box at the side table and helped Prem to lie down .He looked at her with tired eyes…"mule need nahi area…sir dared se pat raha hai…."

Heer hesitantly sat beside Prem and gently touched his forehead with her palm…..

Just one touch…the cool touch other palm on his burning skin made him forget his pain.Prem closed his eyes as Heer rubbed his forehead soothingly….

………………………………....*.................................................................*...........................................

Gayathri had come to Mann's when Veera called her to inform about Prem's illness . Preet assured her that there was nothing to worry about as docter had told them that Prem had a mild food poisoning…probably in the flight.

Prem was lying on the bed with Gayathri sitting beside him when Heer brought him soup…

"beta thoda soup to piyo…nashta bhi nahi kiya …dawai bhi to khana hai" Gayathri said in a worried tone.

"nahi maa mujhe kuch nahi chahiye…"

"Heer beta ab tum hi ise kuch khilao.yeh beemar hota hai to bohot ziddi ban jaata hai,khana peena sab mujhe hi karvana hai…ab Lalit ka bhi tokhayal rakhna hai …wo is se zyada bachpana kartha hai…unhe aisi hi chod ke aayi hoo…."

"Auntiji aap jayiye aur uncle ko sambaliye…waise bhi mujhe yaha kya kaam hai .main inhe dekhloongi..aur Preet bhi hai na…wo bhi mera help karega.."

Prem tried to get upbut suddenly felt like vomiting.

"aap sambhaliye…."heer called out as ase saw Prem lose balance. she supported Prem.

Gayathri called for Preetfrom the hallway as Heer lead Prem to washroom.

Preet came running and Gayathri pulled him inside.Prem couldn't make it to the washroom and Preet held an unconscious Prem….

Heer cleaned him..fed him and gave him medicines and he slept.she managed to make Gayathri eat something too..

"heer tumne kuch khaya nahi…."

"main kha loonga aunty…aap ghar jaake aaram kijiye…..aur itni tension lene ki koi zaroorat nahi hai..hum hai na.."

Veera entered.."ha..Gayathri tumhe Lalit ka bhi khayal rakhna hai…Prem ki chinta mat karo…Preet tumhe chod dega…"

'chaliye badi ma"Preet called Gayatri

Gayathri looked at a sleeping Prem and then to heer.Heer closed her eyes in assurence.Gayathri had seen Heer taking care of Prem and was contented to leave Prem under her care….

"beta ye tumhe pareshaan karega…tum bura mat manna…"

"aunty aap bifilar jaayiye…main har ghanta aapko phone karke inke khabar deti hoo..theek hai?"

Gayathri patted her cheeks lovingly" theek hai.."

By evening Prem's fever came down a bit but vomiting continued.Heer made him take liquid food every 2 hrsas directed by Preet.

Prem was very much touched by hercare towards him.he still remembered the way she was tensed in the morning seeing his condition,even then she managed evry one..even maa….

…………………*…………................................................*...............................................................

Prem slowly drifted into sleep as Heer's hands moved soothingly through his hair…..her slow stroking made him relax and unknowingly he snuggled close to her placing his head on her lap…

"Prem …."Heer called softly….He murmured something and snuggled closer.Heer was confused…she didn't want him to wake up..but …..after much thought she let him sleep….

When Veera came to call Heer she was shocked to see the sight before her….

Heer was sleeping in a sitting position with her head on bed board….her left hand was on Prem's cheek which lay on her lap!!!

Veera couldn't understand her feelings….she ought to wake up Heer and scold her…bur what she felt was an unknown fear……"yeh theek nahi hoga….Main Prem ko achi tarah jaanta hoo..aur heer bhi …abhi tak aisa koi kaam nahi kiya jisse usse daantna pade…phir bhi inka itna khulmilna theek nahi hoga…"

She was about to call Heer that she felt some one's hand on her shoulder.

"Preet…kya hai..she said in an irritated tone.

"ma…unhe mat jagao…let them sleep .Pb bohot mushkil se so paaya haiaur Heer di bhi tired hai…aur waise bhi yeh Heer di ki punishment hai…."he said with a grin

"kya..?"

"wo kuch nahi…ma…aap to Pb ko jaante hai naa ….to phir itni tension kyu…."

Little did both of them knew that the concern they both felt was actually a mother's fear for her daughter's well being and protectiveness of a brother towards his sister……

pls bear with my errors...i am i a hurry....bye
sweta2005 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#52
awesomeeeeeeeee too good very nice part waitingggggggggg for next asap.
...Nikhita... thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#53
hiiiii
just caught up with the last three parts....
this is an amazingggggg ff!!!! 👏
you're an awesome writer....i love your style of writing......
all premeer scenes were too good.....specially the one where prem pretends to be unconscious.....loved that....
and loved the way heer took care of prem when he was sick....
preet's intro was great.....loved his character.....
hope veera comes to know that heer is her daughter and heer gets back her family....
plz continue soooooon.....waiting eagerlyyyy....
Nikhita
harik thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#54
awesomeeeeeeeee too good very nice part waitingggggggggg for next asap.
441240 thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#55
once gain fabulous updates surya.....
loved all the premeer scenes.....
particularly the shower one.....lol......
also loved the way Heer was taking care of Prem....
glad Preet has also been introduced now.....
ur a great writer Surya.....
keep up the great work........

sweetanu2314 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#56
oh god i thought heer was going to get scolding from veera but thank god preet came to the rescue...........does preet know about premeer love?......though they themselves r not sure about it?...........oh no i can't wait till monday yaar........do update wehn u r free......thanks for the pm.........
Pumpkinn thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#57

Awesome update

loved premeer sences
waiting for next asap.

suryavni thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#58
hi guys.....as promised here is the chapter 12

Prem slowly drifted into sleep as Heer's hands moved soothingly through his hair…..her slow stroking made him relax and unknowingly he snuggled close to her placing his head on her lap…

"Prem …."Heer called softly….He murmured something and snuggled closer.Heer was confused…she didn't want him to wake up..but …..after much thought she let him sleep….

Chapter 12

Prem was walking through thick mist…with his hands entwined with his angel….a strong wind blowed and she started moving away….her face was not clear….she disappeared before he could stop her…..

Prem mumbled something and opened his heavy eyes….He found his sleeping posture a bit odd and he got up with a start.

"Oh No…….Heer……main heer ki lap main so raha tha……Oh God…aur wo…meri neend Khulne ki dar se aise hi baiti rahi…

He looked at her with thanking eyes. Heer shifted her position slightly and Prem could see her brows furrowing in pain.her body ached after being in same position for hours….

She suddenly opened her eyes sensing something and looked straight into Prem's glistening ones….she forgot her pain and reached out worried.

"kya hua?…aap theek to hai na..?kuch chahiye..?pani..?"

Prem nodded in negative and held her hand..He wanted to thank her…but he knew that it would hurt her somehow…

"wo…wo..mujhe bhook lag raha hai…kuch khane keliye mil jate to…"

"mai abhi banake laati hoo"Heer left and came back after 10 mts with the food tray.

"tum yahan baitho"Prem motioned heer to sit beside him and she sat.

"ab mooh kholo…"

"kya" Heer was surprised at what she heard.

"Heer…main jaanta hoo ki tum ne kal ka din kuch bhi nahi khaya…."Heer lowered her eyes.."aur mujhe meri prestigious project ki bohot chinta ho raha hai …!designer beemar pad gaya to?"

Prem winked.

Heer shot a dagger at Prem…"designer ki chodo …CEO ka haal yeh hai ise pehle sudharo…"

"wo to tumne theek kiya na…ab chup chap mooh kholo aur khalo…"

Prem fed her and then heer made him eat."Prem ab main jaa rahi hoo theek se so jaana"

"okay…."

Next day

Heer was sensing some kind of reservation in Veera's behaviour since morning.Like when she headed to Prem with prasad and coffee Veera had stopped her ."wo Heer main leke jaati hoon tum breakfast ki tayyariya dekho .unhe aaj jaldi jaana hai"

"okay ma'm Heer went to kitchen wondering why she seemed aloof today…..

As she made breakfast..Gayathri came "are heer beta…kaam sab hogaya?"

"ji auntiji…uncle kahaan hai..?"

"wo Bal raj ke saath baat kar rahe hai .Acha mera beta kaisa hai.tujhe pareshaan to nahi kiya"

"nahi aunty wo ab bilkul theek hai raat ko hi bukhar utar gaya tha"

'ha ..tumne uska itna khyal jo rakha….."suddenly Gayathri' had a frown on her forehead…

"Heer..tumne kal kuch bhi to nahi khaya…Oh no…Prem ki beemari ki vajah se"

Heer cut in"nahi aunti…wohi to main bol rahi thi…"she narrated how Prem made her eat at 2 am .Gayathri laughed…"ab main usse milke aati hoon"

………………………………......*.....................................................................*....................................

Prem had expected Heer to come with coffee .He was surprised to see Veera..

"Good morning aunty…"

"Good morning beta….ab kaise feel kar rahe ho…"

"Iam fine fever utar gaya hai aur sardard bhi.." Prem's eyes were looking behind Veera.She understood but remained silent..

"wo Prem.tum office aaj jaa paoge…humare product launch ki dates aaye hai .its after 3 weeks .kya hum is bare main discussion kare"

"okay aunty"

"to breakfast ke baad study main milte hai.."Veera went to the door and turned back to Prem

"wo Prem….kal raat…"Prem looked up to Veera.She went up toPrem and patted his cheeks."Beta ..tum merely apne bete se kam nahi ho…aur muje tumpe poora bharosa hai…but….kisi ke upar aankh band karke bharosa karna theek nahi hoga…….I hope you understand what Iam saying"

Prem understood that Veera had seen him sleeping on Heer's lap.He was embarrassed and looked down….

Gayathri entered the room."are beta jaldi chalo…"

Veera: "itni jaldi bhi kya hai breakfast ke baad aaram se jaana.."

Prem's mood was shattered…"maa main yahan se seedha office jaaunga"he saw Gayathri's disappointed face and quickly added "aur main shaam ko jaldi aajaoonga..theeek hai"

Gayathri nodded and Veera smiled."to main chalti hoo …"

At break fast Prem didn't seem to be himself.

'Pb aap theek to hai?"Preet asked

"ha..ha..Preet.Iam fine"

"phir aap itne chup kyu hai….pata hai aapko…do din main yahaan bhochal aane waala ..nn..nahi aane wali hai….aur aap shant hoke baite hai…."

Prem looked at Preet questioningly."are PB… Ash…Ash-le-sha"

Prem smiled but Heer noticed that his smile didn't reach his eyes…he didn't even look up to her.

"pehle maa aur ab Prem….kya baat ho sakthi hai.".Heer thought.

"Are…mujhe breakfast itni boring kabhi nahi laga….kya ..Maa…aap bhi udaas baiti ho?"

Preet looked at both and he sensed something that his eyes shot to Heer for a split second………….

It was then Heer realized "Oh …No…maa mujhe galat samaj rahi hai!!!!"

suryavni thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#59
hey thank you all viewers....1300+...views...but nobody...liked it..😭 Iam so sad....so Iam posting my Meher....enjoy....

Chapter 13

Meher was happy…from the very first day Malini and Prateek had taken care of her very well.In the beginning Prateek was a bit gruffy.Mehers adoption was Malini's decision and he had agreed for her happiness. Malini went to hospital by 8 am and would be back by lunch .till then Meher did the cleaning ,rubbing, washing,any thing…just to avoid Prateek!Slowly Prateek began to build a friend ship with Meher.Now they would sit together and chat,fight oftenon silly matters..and it was pure fun when Malini joined them.

Meher took full control over Prateek's dietas he was diabetic and kept a strict eye on his alchoholic nature….Malini was only too happy to let Meher rule the Guptha's…So it was always Prateek and Meher at loggerheads when Malini came back from work….be it a fight on laddu!!,kheer!! Or matter of Pegs!!!

Meher occationally hear Prateek grumbling.."humne ise adopt kiya hai ya isne hume…!!mere ghar main mujhpar khane peene ki bandishen lagaya ja raha hai.."and she would retrot.."Are mujhe koi shok nahi haiaap ki health ki …wo to main maayi ki khatir kar rahi hoo.."

Malini would smile wholeheartedly and seeing that Prateek gives a contented sigh…..

After 5 years…..she is smiling after 5 years.."is bachi ne to humari sooni zindgi main jaan daali hai….kithna soona soona tha yeh ghar….Pratham ke jaane ke baad……………."

Meher had known within a few days that Malini and Prateek had a son …Pratham.Five years earlier he had died in a freak accident and Malini went into a shock.After much treatment she recovered. Docters adviced her to get back to work to avoid depression and she joined Juneja Healthcare Ltd.as a consultant Paediatrition .From there only Malini got acquainted with Teji.She had seen Heer and had felt a connection even though they didn't meet.when Teji requested her to adopt one among her 3 kids Malini had opted for heer but Teji said that heer had been already adopted.Teji had requested to take Meher and she agreed.

Malini and Prateek had maintained Pratham's room the way he left it that fateful day…none of them dared to step in.Prateek had given strict orders to Meher not to open the room as it may affect Malini.Occasionally Meher found Malini standing at the closed door and pouring her sorrows out…

Today Meher was feeling excited. After much pursuation and emotional blackmailing Prateek had given her permission to enter Pratham's room.As she opened the door she was astonished…it was totally different from the rest of the house.Even though all belongings were coated with a thin film of dust the room still exuded someone's presence…Meher looked around….and some thing caught her attention. It was a life size picture of a young man with a beautiful girl…he had his arms around her and the look on their faces proclaimed their love for each other…..Meher was confused.

"Mayi….yeh bhayya hai naa..?"She asked Malini who entered the room hesitantly…

"ha meher"

"kya wo married tha..?"Malini gave her a sad smile."nahi beta"

"to yeh ladki…."Meher was wondering silently why the girl looked so familier to her.

"wo…wo Gauri hai….Pratham us se bohot pyar karti thi…aur wo bhi….hum unke shadi ke baat chalane wale the ki…."Malini paused and took a breath."Us din hum inki office ki Party ke baad laut rahe the…ek truck achanak se humare car se takraya…hum bach gaye lekin ..mera beta ek aisa maut mara…ki…use pata bhi nahi chala…."she was trying to hold her tears.

"mayi…sambhaliye…dekho hitler aa raha hai"Meher said as Prateek walked in.

"rula diya na tum malini ko…isiliye kehtha tha ki use ye room kholne naa de….ab ro rahi hai….sar pe chadake rakha hai…."

"ha..main to naach rahi hoo naa aap ke sir par….saara manmaani aapka chaltha hai idhar…mai mayi se kehdu kya..ki aaj aapne kitne laddu khaye…"she stopped Prateek as he started to say".na..na us ladu ki baat nahi jo maine aapko diya tha..un ladduon ki baat hai jo aap mere peeth peeche khaye the?!!!!

"are baba…chup..chup karo"

Prateek ran upto Meher and pressed her mouth with his palm."meri achi bachi nahi batayengi"

"nahi main batoongi"

Malini had stopped crying and was enjoying the game both were playing to pacify her….

"ab bas bhi karo…main theek hoon…"Prateek hugged both and smiled.

Next day Meher was going through Pratham's video collections and albums…She found many videos Pratham took of him and Gauri and as she scanned the photo albums her mind was more confused.

"Gauri….ye naam to maine nahi suni….lekin ye chehra mujhe itna jaana pehchana kyu lag raha hai….who hasi….wo aankhen….Heer Di…"Meher jumped inwardly…and then sulked."lekin ye heer di nahi hai, naahi Heer di kisi Gauri ko jaanti hogi ..lekin mujhe lagtha hai ki main is Gauri ki baare main aur investigation karoo…"meher had a determined look on her face.

………………………………..........*....................................................................*................................

Two days passed …Veera 's attitude to Heer bothered her very much …Prem had minimized his visits to Mann mansion but he called her when ever he was free.He was feeling guilty in putting Heer in such a painful situation.But he could do nothing to undo the damage.Heer's only solace was her work and Preet…

Preet was such a caring brother…She was proud of him…even though he is unknown to the fact…he treated her like an elder sis…He was just one year younger than her ….but very protective towards her…She was sharing her apprehensions regarding ' Ma'm 'with Preet in the evening.

"wo di aap tensin mat lo…ma aap ko aur PB ko lekar thoda protective ho gaya hai..bas ."

"lekin Preet ….."

"Di…us din…aap bheegi thi na…"Preet said with a naughty wink " kya…PB ne kuch…"He saw Heer's face going red"she cut in "nahi Preet wo towel dete main gir padi.."

"oho….lekin PB to gira nahi na ..phir wo aise khade khade smile kyu maar rahe the…wo bhi full shower ke neche.."Preeth's expressions were serious and Heer was like oh-God-pls-save-me.

"waise Di….us raat Maa aapko daantne hi wala tha…maine unhe roka…"

"kyu Preet….tumne aisa kyu kiya…Ma'm mujhe kuch bhi kahe mujhe bura nahi lagega ..lekin..ye silence…"heer's eyes welled up."aur tum kyu nahi uthaya mujhe?"

"Di aap khud kyu nahi uthi? Preet again had that serious tone that puzzled Heer. was he making fun of her?…"wo…wo jaag jaate isliye"

"to aapka jawab milgaya?" Heer looked at her brother and gave a sigh …"ab ma'm ko kaise …"

She stopped short as her eyes fell on Prem standing there leaning on a pillar."aap …aap kab aaye…?"

It was Preet who answered"Pb to tab se yaha khada hai jab se hum baat kar rahe the"and the merriment in his eyes and voice was not missed by Heer…she looked at Prem and saw the same reflection in his eyes…

"Inki Ma'm ne mujhe yahaan aane ko kaha….actually humare kuch meetings ki finalization baaki hai…wo aa hi rahi hogi…"Prem said as he took a seat beside Preet..

"oh ..maine socha ki aap Heer di se milne aagaya tha…"Preet said as Heer fled from there.Prem was about to follow her but stopped as he saw Veera enter.

It had been two hrs and discussions were going on.Heer prepared dinner fast as Prem would be joining them…she was setting the table when she heard…

"Hello everybody………….I am here….."

Heer turned to see a tall lean girl wearing a silk shirt and mini skirt,in high boots standing at the door with a trolly…..Preet who was working on his laptop looked up."Aer Ash…aagayi tum….yeh main kya dekh raha hoo…..tum ITNI moti hogayi..!!"'

As Ash moved to embrace him she kicked him in his stomach lightly.."stop pulling my leg bro?!!Mom kaha hai?"

"Ma Pb aur papa ke saath study main hai."

"oh Prem….good…..okay…".Ash looked around and Her eyes rested on Heer.

Heer on the other hand was not knowing what to do.Her sister is standing before her..she had a striking similarity to Balraj's features..

"Bro…yeh kaun hai…."and as if she remembered…"oh ya…our new house maid..Hello…tum yeh luggage upar mere kamre main rakh loaur merliye ek coffee banao.Main fresh hoke aati hoon"

Heer quickly went to take the trolly bag but a hand caught her wrist.

"Preet..kya hai"

"wo..di…luggage main rakh deta hoon ….aap bur mat maniyega…Ash…"

"kya Preet tum bhi na….tumhe bhi pata hai naki main yahaan ek homemaid ki job karne aayi thi.to phir yeh baat Ashlesha ne kahi to mujhe bura kyu lagega….ab haath chodo"

"nahi Di..luggage main rakhtha hoon aap coffee banayiye..Mereliye bhi…"He said smiling .

"aur hamare liye bhi….said Veera who came down along with Prem and Balraj.

Ash came down wearing a Capri and a sphagetti top.she hugged Veera and Balraj."beta flight sub theek tha na…"yes papa…"She turned to Prem .."Hi…"Prem forced a smile and greeted her back.

All were seated as Heer brought coffee and gave to everyone.

"Heer di ..baito na.."Preet said.

Ash choked on her coffee…"what!!Preet bhayya are u mad or what…she is a home maid and she'll be sitting with us…!!! U MUST BE JOKING!"

Now Prem was angry ….he had witnessed Ash's behaviour earlier as they all were coming out of study…and now this….his eyes flashed in anger and was about to say ….he saw Heer looking at him pleadingly…

"Ash beta.."Veera said looking affectionately to Heer."Yeh humara home maid nahi hai…she is Heer …Heer singhaniya ,humare JM Industries ki chief designer…"

"OH….Iam sorry.."Ash said with an attitude…"I did'nt know….Heer…ummm.., nice name….mom lekin humare staff humare saath reh rahe hai…its odd…ny ways.nice meeting you."Ash held out her hand and Heer took it .

"waise tum designer kum aur home maid zyada lag rahi hai…"Ash said sarcasam evident in her voice.Heer saw Prem tightening his fists and Preet looking around uncomfortably. yes.. Ash was right ,she never cared about her looks, always wore simple plain cloths…..and minimal jewellary.

Prem cut in a firm tone"aunty mujhe lagtha hai ki humhe humare London aur Newyork wale meetings main Ms.Heer kole jaana hoga….humaari ace designer se milne ke liye sab excited hai.."

Veera nodded and Heer was shocked.

"Heeer tumhare paas Passport hai?"Veera asked."nahi..Ma'm"

"Aunty main kal Heer ko Passport office le jaake saari formalities poori kar deta hoon."

"ha Prem that will be fine.."

Ash :"Prem…main yahaan baita hoon ap kuch time merely bhi spent karlo na…

Prem:"kal sneha aa rahi hai aur tum logon ke haal tum hi jano….mujhe to bohot kaam hai"

Ash :"okay…aap nahi to aapki behn hi sahi .."she said cheekly as Prem asked leave…

PLs...If you like my ff,my writing style....just press the like buttton AND if you don't like...just let me know...
have a nice day......😃
-BabyCupid- thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 15 years ago
#60
WHT NO NO NO PLZZ NOT HER
PLZZ DO MAKE HER PREM'S FINACEA PLZZ
THANKS FOR THE PM!
THE LINK DIDNT WORK FOR SOME REASON
PLZZZ UPDATE SOON THANKS!

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