|| Dil ko choo liya..||ch 1- 58.COMMENT!! - Page 4

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-Fatima- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#31
hey dear
i read whole parts in one go.
this story is moving awesomely.
its sooo beautifully written.
cant believe its urs first try u r doing fab job.
update asap
can u plz pm me whenever u update.thanks
luv
Fatima
suryavni thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#32
hi thank you all for u'r comments.....well i myself don't think this FFso goodas I have been practically eating and sleeping on FF's on Prem andHeer..for past 6 months...so if it appeals you...i've been trained by...PHans out there!!!!
next two chaps on the way....enjoy....

Balraj andVeera were surprised at the sudden change that came over Heer and together turned to see what was the cause…….

Both were surprised to see Prem and looked at each other in confusion..Her suddenly sensed the situation and moved to Veera and Balraj with prasad."sir yeh prasad…"she gave it to both and hesitantly walked to Prem to offer prasad.

"tum theek to ho? His eyes asked.

"haan,I am okay…."her's replyed.she dropped her gaze in shyness and left to the kitchen immediately.

Chapter 7

Balraj and Veera stod silently as spectators and trying to comprehend the scene that took place minutes ago…..

Suddenly the phone rang.Balraj motioned Prem to sit and took the phone.

"ha lallu..bol?"

"ha ,ballu….Prem aaya hai wahaan..?"

Balraj looked at Prem."ha'

"wo maine use heer ka halchal poochne keliye bheja tha……"

"tum heer ki itni chinta kyun karti ho…who ab hamari zimmedari hai……..kya tum hume nahi jaante…."

"acha baba …maaf karna….raktha hoon,office main milenge…"

"okay"

Prem was feeling awkward…..oh God I didn't even think for a second that I would have to face Balraj uncle and Veera aunty…..what a fool I made of myself .Aur upar se dad ka phone? unko bhi pata lag gaya ki main Mann mansion aa gaya hoon….oh no….ab main vaapas jaake kya jawab doonga…yeh mujhe kya hogaya hai….kuch bhi socha nahi …chala aaya…!lekin sochtha bhi kaise….heer….uska kya haal hoga wohi sochkar raat guzara…kuch aur kab sochtha…"

"to tumhe lallu ne bheja tha" Balraj asked in a serious tone."heer ka haal jan'ne keliye…."

"who….uncle…ha.. papa ne bheja tha"

"aur tumne heer se kuch poocha…?"

"ha….n..nnahi……"

"ha-nahi yeh kya jawab hua Prem"Veera cut in "waise mujhe Lalit se poochna padega ki ye baap beta kya game nikal rahi hai humpe…"

Prem looked at her sheepishly.He very well knew that Veera was equally fond of him as Preet and she could sense his feelings..

Heer quickly made coffee and brought to Prem.Balraj smirked "to bed coffee peene se pehle ghar se nikla tha."Both Heer and Prem were embarrassed.Prem stood up."acha aunti main chalta hoo"He bid farewell to Heer with a wink.

After break fast Balraj and Veera left for office.Heer was not given any specific instruction so she started with cleaning.she dusted and rubbed everything and by noon the whole mansion was sparkling .Heer had changed the curtains,covers and whole arrangement was beautiful.

"Bablu bhayya sab theek hai na?"

"ji bitiya..bohot sunder hai…"

By late afternoon Veera called her to inform that there'll be guests for dinner.Heer was standing in the kitchen confused."Ma ne kaha guests aa rahe hai…lekin yeh nahi bataya ki kya banana hai…chalo traditional khana hi banate hai"

Heer prepared everything fast with the help of Bablu.

"Bhayya,kuch meetha banayega to acha hoga na?main gajar ka halwa banati hoon"

"are beta saabji ko diabetes hai wo nahi khayenge…aur kya pata guests bhi naa khaye…"

"Bhayya aap mujhe diabetic sugar laake dedo .wo dalega to koi problem nahi hoga.tab tak main gajar tayar karti hoo"

"Theek hai bitiya."

By 7'o'clock Heer finished every thing and freshened up and wore a pink suit .she came to kitchen and was preparing snacks for the guests that she heard cars approaching.she waited at the kitchen door for her mom to give orders.

"Are Heer beta,hum tumhe dekhne aaye the …tum aise kone main kyu chupi ho?…"

As heer saw Gayathri, Lalit and….. Prem……a wave of relief swept through her.

"aunty… aap.."

Veera and Balraj smiled…Veera :"wo in sabko lag raha tha ki hum tumse bohot zyada kaam karvaate hai..isliye check karne keliye bula liya…

Balraj :" waise Heer… lagtha hai tum subh se kaam pe lagi hai…poori ghar ko badal hi daali hai"

Gayathri: "Maine kaha tha na Veera…yeh aise baitne wali nahi hai,beta tum khana aur dawai time par khati hai ki nahi…."she turned a questioning glance to Heer

"wo….auntiji….main…actually…wo.."

Gayathri sighed.

Prem was standing silently watching Heer, drinking her sight..He was feeling some thing special for her…from the moment he found her unconscious she had been invading his conscious.Never ever a girl captured his eyes and soul like this…

Veera made evry one sit and Heer brought tea and snacks. All enjoyed and chatted.Prem found It hard to keep up his conversations as his eyes occationaly stole glances of Heer…and this did not went unnoticed by Veera and Gayathri.

'Prem…humari naye project ka discussion kya hum yahan kare?"Veera asked.

"Prem….'

"ha…ha auntijji..kyu nahi"

"heer tum hume dinner ke time pe bula lena,excuse us"

Gayathri" chalo heer hum baat karte hai"as both Prem and Heer turned their eyes met .he smiled a sad one and she blushed a little.

…………………………*……....................................*..................................................................

At dinner all were praising about heer's cooking……..dinner ke baad heer took halwa to all.Just then Veera stopped her."Nahi heer rehne do…yeh meetha un keliye aur Lalit ke liye theek nahi hoga"

Heer looked at the two pleading faces before her and suppressed her giggle.

"no Ma'm I've added diabetic sugar in this .so ther is no harm"

Lalit and Balraj's face lit up"Yeh huyi na baat"and both lunged for the bowls while both Veera and Gayathri looked shocked at their husband's childishness.

Heer noticed that Prem was silent throughout the evening and wondered why.well…it was not proper for her to start a conversation in front of all though no one minded.Veera had accepted Heer and Prem's acquaintance in the morning.

As talks about business came up she withdrew into kitchen and started doing her clean up.

"wo..excuse me…thoda paani milega…" A husky tone near her ears made her heart jump.

Prem stood there."ji..yeh lijiye.."she handed him a glass of water.she looked at him fidgetting with her dupatta as he drank.Prem kept the glass at the counter ,smiled at her and started to leave.

"Prem…"He turned and saw her tensed state "kya baat hai heer ..bolo"

"wo aap aaj ….bohot chup the..isliye poochna tha ki kya koi pareshani…"

Prem smiled,"waise main ek business man hoo, aur pareshaniya bohot se hote rehte hai..lekin aaj ek ajeeb si pareshani hai…uska hal nahi mil raha…wo naye project jo main aur tumhari…."he paused and continued "unki silsile main thode tensed hoon"

He eyed heer who was listening to him carefully"Waise heer kya tum meri pareshani ki vajah se tensed ho?"

"ha..mera matlab hai nahi….main aise hi pooch rahi thee"she looked down. a slight pink crept into her cheeks and Prem's eyes glowed in affection.

"Prem beta ab hume chalna chahiye…Heer tum apna khyal rakhna"Gayathri called out from the kitchen door.

"wo ..to hum chalte hai god night "Heer nodded.

do comment...
suryavni thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#33

I hope you all enjoyed Prem's embaressment😉......now ...a bridge for love.....

Chapter 8

Days passed and Heer became a part of Mann's.Balraj was very caring towards Heer and she also took care of him like a daughter.She managed Veera's business schedules and helped her in every way that Veera felt very free.She had nothing to worry about when Heer was there .Prem was busy in his work and didn't get any time to talk with Heer even though he occationally went to Mann's.Gayathri and Lalit dropped by often and made sure that heer was okay.

Heer knew that Prem and Veera were tensed about the new project.Whenever Prem came there he carried a lot of papers and both Veera and Prem would spent hours in the study.One day when she was passing by ….her eyes fell upon the half open study.Some thing attracted her and she entered with hesitation…The sight before her made her gasp! there were many story boards with a no.of sketches ….several designs of ornaments….Heer was mesmerized by the designs.

Then she saw a half finished sketch of a necklace…."yeh adhoora kyun hai" Upon instinct she took a pencil and started working on it.As she was completing the sketch she forgot everything .She was so immersed in her art that she didn't notice the people who slipped inside.After some time Heer finished her sketch.It was a beautiful creation with twirling turns of gold and platinum studded with stones.She took a few steps back with pencil upon her ears to view her work and bumped into a person.

She was startled and was about to fall…..

Prem steadied her and she was surprised."aap…"Then she saw Veera's face which was red with anger.

Heer shivered in fear as realization dawned .She had ruined her mother's sketch and now she is mad at her….

"Tumhe yahaan ye sab karne ki permission kisne diya…."Veera asked angrily.Prem stood there silently.Heer was frightened.She looked at Prem for help but he could say nothing.

"Iam…. Iam sorry….Ma'm.galti hogayi….maine aapka sketch barbaad kiya….Iam relly sorry .aagey se main aisa kuch nahi karoongi…"she said with her eyes shut as tears trickled through her cheeks

Silence followed and it was broken by Prem's laugh.Prem was laughing with his hands on his stomach….."ha ha..auntiji…ha ha….bas mujhse aur nahi saha jaayega…ha.hha"

Heer opened her eyes.she wondered why Prem was laughing at her.She looked at an angry Veera and was surprised to see her smiling face.Heer was confused.

Prem looked at Heer "Heer …this design is so beautiful…in fact is study main jo bhi sketches hai usse bhi badiya…"

Veera nodded in agreement as Prem continued."Humari ek hi pareshani thi is naye series of designer collection ko leke ki designs trendy aur unique hona chahiye…aur humne kitnon ko try kiya…lekin koi bhi aisa designer nahi mila…."

Veera: "aur ab hume uska solution bhi mil gaya"

Heer was still reeling in confusion as Veera and Prem said together……

"Congratulations…..chief designer of JM Industries…"

Heer was stunned as Veera embraced her….."Heer you are a talented girl…Iam so proud of you.you remind me of my younger days….surely your parents must be blessed but it seems they don't deserve…."Heer stopped her.

"Nahi ma…."she kept her fingers on Veera's mouth as the the syllable slipped from hers.Prem stiffened as he heard Heer call Veera ma…

"wo…Ma'm….I've forgave them long ago….wo bhi kisi majboori main mere saath aisa kiya hoga…..Iam grateful to them for allowing me to enter this world….many don't even get that luck….."she brushed away her tears and smiled.

Prem asked."waise Heer tumne yeh ..jewellary designing seekhi kahaan se?"

"wo Prem .Mera bachpan se painting aur designing ka shok raha.aur main studies ke saath Bua ko help karne keliye designing classes join kiya.Hum couse complete karke ek firm main kaam bhi kar rahe the…'Symmetry'….lekin bua ki health ki vajah se use chodna pada"

Veera and Prem exchanged a shocked look.

"Oh God…..Prem….hum usi ko dhoond rahe the aur dekho hume kya pata tha ki wo hume humare hi ghar me milogi…!!! Veera said.Heer looked at both bewildered.

"main 'Symmetry'ki designer ko dhoond raha tha…last week usi ki tension main tha .unhe bhi pata nahi tha ki tum kahan pe miloge"Prem explained.

"To.. Prem ab der kis baat ki.kal se Heer designs par kaam shuru karengi aur tum uska approval ,manufacture sub ka khayal rakhoge….done?"

Veera left study saying that she have to inform Balraj and Lalit about the new developments.

Prem stood there admiring Heer and her work she became aware of his intense gaze and looked up." Tumne to mujhe chonka hi diya…..it was a pleasant surprise….yakeen nahi hota…. Main usi ko dhoond raha tha jo mere aankhon ke saamne hamesha thi…!!"

"ji…"

"wo…mera matlab tha ki…tum us din meri tension ki baare main pooch rahi thee na…tab main Symmetry ke designer ko track down karne main laga tha….us din agar main wo baat bata diya hota to shayad one week pehle yeh sab solve hota…."

Prem let out a heart felt laugh as Heer smiled.

"ab yeh batao ki aapne mujhpar hasi kyu..? Main ma ke saamne dar ke mare ro rahi thi aur aap…aap pet pakadkar has rahe the…"she pouted showing fake anger.

"wo tumhari shakal dekhne laayak tha naa….utni der tak kaise hasi control pe rakha…. I donno how…ha ha…"Prem continued moving towards Heer. He held her hands"to saath saath kaam karne ke baare main aapka kya khayal hai…"He asked with an edge of naughtiness while Heer tried hard to silence the flying butterflies in her heart…….

Now guys...i need to type the next parts...i have some parts written ....but i have an imp for a daughter..she doesn't like me sitting up with the 'attop....'(in her words).nyways don't forget to press the like button and comment...
take care
surya
suryavni thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#34

oops... double post😕

Edited by suryavni - 15 years ago
sweetanu2314 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#35

premeer working together huh??........going to take a romantic ride from here i guess...........hai 😍......i can only imagine premeer interacting with each other in office..............do take care of ur daughter dear..........poor child how can she know the effect premeer is having on us girls right?.....do continue soon.......thanks ofr the pm..........

amu142 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#36
hmm...impressive!! But it is strange that Heer is there as a maid in her mom's house, and Veera doesnt not feel any connection!
...Nikhita... thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#37
wowwwwww......
awesomeeeee update....
premeer working together!!!!!
that means more premeer scenes......😃
really liking your ff......
premeer are really cute here.....
continue soon!!!!
sweta2005 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#38
awesomeeeeeeeee too good very nice part waitinggggggggg for next asap.
Pumpkinn thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#39
Great update !
Loved it !
You have written it soo beautifully !
Prem and Heer both are soo very sweet !
Waiting for next !
Update soon !
Thnx for pm !
nspn.92 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#40
Fabulous.😊
Will be waiting to read more of premeer.
Update soon...
Thanks for the PM.

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