ff: ''a many splendoured thing', update pg. 102 - Page 47

harman and prem watched as preet turned away, and leaned on the table, his hands holding the edge of the table hard. and finally, prem's face changed, becoming horrified at the sight of preet's shoulders shaking.

prem jerked forward. he lay his hand gently on preet's shoulder. ''preet.''

there was no answer, but the shaking continued.

''preet. i'm ... preet. please look at me.'' prem tried to turn his baby brother around, but preet would not budge.

''preet. i'm sorry. i don't know what i was thinking. i was wrong. please forgive me? preet?'' prem tried tugging at the shaking shoulders, feeling desperate and awful.

''yes, yes, you should be, pb'', preet's voice was shaky, ''you should be damned sorry.''

behind them, harman's brow suddenly furrowed. exactly what was preet's voice shaking with?

''i am sorry, preet.'' prem could only think of what he had thought of his brother and his heart grew heavy with wretched guilt.

''say that you are sorry you ever thought that of me. that you will never doubt me.''

''i am sorry i ever thought that of you. i will never doubt you.'' prem was growing desperate -- what if his brother could never forget the hurt he had caused him by doubting him like this? he added, ''i have never doubted you, preet. it's just that this time...''

''say never, pb. say you will never doubt me!''

''i will never doubt you. ever.''

''say that you will always trust me, and give me sole rights to your first born.''

''i will trust you always, and give you ... what??'' prem's brow furrowed.

preet muttered darkly, ''darn it! and here i thought everything was going so smoothly!''

harman cut in, his voice alight with laughter, ''since you are in such a giving mood, pb, can you also make the down-payment on the penthouse that nandita wants in downtown? i love the girl, but can't afford her father's ambitions just now.''

prem watched as harman as he came to stand next to preet, who was ... laughing.

the laughter in his eyes was the laughter of the preet of old, which prem had missed so much. in that moment, that was all he cared about. prem threw his arms around preet and hugged him fierecely.

preet held his pb for a moment, before saying softly, ''pb, for a smart guy, you showed such a distressing inability to think. how could you have?''

prem drew back, stuffed his hands back into his pockets, fingering that little flower. he could not look his brothers in the eye. ''it was very easy to do, preet, losing my head around her. she made me feel so insanely happy. i had never felt that way. and .. i could imagine how you had felt with meher."

prem swallowed hard, remembering the feeling of emptiness at just imagining not having heer. ''and how you felt without her. it just took me a while to realise that you could not feel happy that way with heer. just as i could not feel happy when i was without her. no matter who else i had, i was never that happy. not even,''

he paused, wondering if he could say it, and then went ahead anyway. ''not even with all of you. when i was with ma, or here, there was always something missing when she was not there. as if,'' he could feel her hair as his fingers touched the sweet pea petal, the softness of her lips against his mouth, ''as if when she met me, she had reached into me and taken a part of me to keep with her.''

harman said lightly, watching his brother, testing him, ''maybe she is adept at keeping parts of many people, bhaiyya. she certainly makes a lot of the brownstone happy whenever she is around.''

prem smiled almost to himself, ''yes, she does do that, doesn't she? but she only smiles herself for me.''

prem was too immersed in his memories to see preet and harman raising their brows at him. but they had to admit that it was true -- heer's magical smile was reserved only for prem. the one that you could see her full heart in.

preet whistled softly, ''oh how our love-torn brother is learning to finally see! good job, pb. i think you just passed the juneja test of being a man.''

''for once, just because you got to learn something before i did, doesn't mean that you have to get that cocky, child.'' he was trying for sardonic, but prem knew his voice was a little too emotional for that.

there was a small note of wonder in harman's voice as he said, ''imagine that, preet. we get to advice bhaiyya on affairs of the heart.'' he paused. ''did you ever imagine ever advising pb on anything??''

''of course,'' preet's voice was smug. ''unlike you, i knew i was going to make something of myself.'' he ducked harman's punch.

''pb. you may have passed the first test. but you still have the second one to get through.'' his face was somber. ''you owe heer an apology. she has been waiting on tenderhooks for the last two weeks for you. you have no idea how she moped the entire time that you were gone. oh, no,'' preet was quick to respond to the look of alarm on prem's face. ''it wasn't obvious. it is so not like heer to wail and gnash her teeth and beat her chest in the street, you know.''

''well, we should count our lucky stars we got the right side of the family,'' harman muttered, ''because it certainly looks like ms. ashlesha maan could.''

preet continued undeterred, ''but there was no conversation with heer, where she would not try to ask how you were or the lengths that she would go to in her quiet way to hear more stories about you. do you know that she actually spent an entire morning handing soni panes of glass just because he kept talking about the time he spent with you at school.'' preet looked pleased at the guilty look that shadowed prem's eyes.

''she was really looking forward to being with you last night. and when you did that little stunt of sending raj... by the way, that was really mean.''

prem pushed his hand through his hair, spiking it up in all directions, ''preet, please, i know i have been a bit of an idiot,''

'''a serious duffer' actually sounds more accurate,'' harman said helpfully.

prem gave him a look before continuing, ''but i could not have spoken to heer. not before talking to you.'' he paused. ''i needed to talk to you first, because you are my brother, and clarify things with you. i had to know where you stood, and make you understand before i could make any promises to heer. what? why are you two sniggering like that?''

harman chuckled while preet laughed soundlessly, ''bhaiyya, when your every look at her was a vow, what are you talking about just now? nandita keeps sighing these days that all she needs is a look from me like you give heer.'' he shook his head sadly, ''you may have only joined the rat race lately, but you are speeding up to the front already.'' he finished ruefully.

they laughed harder as prem's face turned a dull red. ''has it.. has it been as obvious as all that?'' he asked stiffly.

preet snorted, ''do you want me to bring out the brownstone betting book? the first bet about you and heer date all the way back to three days after the board meeting. ma is just waiting for you to tell her before sending out the wedding invitations. and you ask..!'' he patted prem on his cheek with a paternal air. ''trust me, pb, it was obvious -- 'cause everyone knows!''

prem watched his young brothers laugh at him and disarmed them by saying suddenly, helplessly, ''what do i do now?''

preet said, ''go to her.''

prem suddenly looked lost, ''but... but what if she... i think she will be asleep.''

preet said ''this is heer. she keeps the midnight oil burning in normal circumstances. she hasn't really seen you for the last two weeks. she has been stressing out about the way her painting style and form has been changing so dramatically since she has met you. she has fallen in love and the man she has fallen in love with is a duffer. but that he is a duffer will not be what will be keeping her up at night, putting all those dark circles under her eyes, unfortunately.''

preet reached out and pushed his brother. ''trust me, pb. she will not be asleep.''

harman helpfully held out a cup of the once-was-hot chocolate. ''you know, you have a long night ahead of you -- you may need the energy.''

prem reached out for the cup, but harman snatched it away. ''actually, given how sweet heer is, i get the feeling that you may not be needing this after all.''

both of them howled with laughter at the way prem turned red all over again before walking rapidly away from them, towards the door.

''besides,'' harman's voice was decidedly wicked as he continued, ''this hot chocolate has marshmallows in it.''

prem turned back at the door looking puzzled.

''this might be a little premature, of course." harman continued, a little piously ''but somehow i get the feeling that someone's philosophy on hot chocolate with marshmallows is going to go through a change real soon now.''

prem fled, with the demon of his brothers laughter chasing him nearly all the way out of the brownstone.