Originally posted by: bluefish
I like Prem a lot..and his love a lot..but in recent times with this rano wedding and constant challenging Heer...he has become very obsessive and harrasing her in my opinion. If he wants her back....it has to be done by winning her trust and respect over time...not by pushing her into a corner like this.
He is literally stalking her by coming to her office and house anytime he wants to.
Prem's family also is contributing to her agony...Heer is only searching for a bride only on Bauji's insistence...and Gayatri calls her for Prem's ROka????????? What the ......? I mean I also want Prem and Heer to meet...but I think Prem and his Ma Bauji are doing too much by pulling heer in so many angles....
Prem says " maine tumhe maaf kiya " for what??? First he adivses Rano to go back....and blames heer for not finding a right girl?
Heer;s only fault was in not informing Prem about chahat...If Prem you duffer..instead of doing all this after 6 yrs..you would have the sense to run after heer and be with her while she was delivering ur child instead of sitting in cananda ans expecting heer to fly to you...maybe heer would not be so bitter in life.Agreed she gave you her izzat ka vasta...but you could have remained distant from her yet kept information of her ..and tried to support her financially atleastt...I find it really odd that after 6 yrsyou decided to get her in your life back...and she should do it at your pace??????
Of cpurse...you have made a valuable contribution in producing chahat....one night of phingoli. Hows that comparable to Heers pregnancy and labour? Do you even know if Heer had normal delivery? Do you know know long she breastfed your daughter? there is difference being "father" and " biologicla father".
Stop forcing her....be away and distant but work for her benefit...do things to make her life better...find out what her dialy problems are and try to ease them....that over the time will make her respect you...and forgive you....GIVE HER SPACE and TIME for God Sake!!!
Challenging her is good....but this kind of cornering her will make her even more bitter...even if she breaks down and says " okay i forgive you" ..is that enough for you? You wnat her to love you and respect you...then you have to win her heart....not corner her like this.
Love is not about wiining a baazi Prem..love is not about dialogues...action speaks louder than words...and how much ever you tell heer you love her...your action of sleeping with another woman makes all your words and dialogues very hollow....you need patience to win her back. you have to prove you are worthy of her respect again.
Im reaaly feeling bad for heer.....yes she needs to soften and forgive Prem eventaully.....but this "forgive me and accept me otherwise I will marry some else" dhamki doesnt sound right to me at all.
Please Prem...breaking down and bending the person you love is not the way to gain that person's respect at all....all you are doing is making her more miserable.Mazak tak thik tha sab....now you came to her hosue and gave her a bhashan and making her feel guilty....Are you doing that to overcome your guilt Prem?
Hi there! Your topic makes quite an interesting read...and couldn't help but comment.
You are perfectly right in saying that Prem is backing Heer into a corner...but to be really honest, I don't think he has any other choice!! Heer is, understandably, very bitter at the moment and seeing how she ripped Prem to shreds the last time...I can totally understand his POV!
Yes, Prem's family is contributing to Heer's agony. Lalit asked Heer to find a girl for Prem...she didn't have to agree! But she did, because to Heer, that is an appeasement of her guilt...that Prem is suffering by not being with her. And even though Heer doesn't see herself going back to Prem..she is trying to make his life better.
And when Gayatri called her to the Roka..Heer didn't have to accept, did she? By going there, Heer was trying to prove to herself that she can see this through, to accept that Prem will belong to someone else..and that she is ok with it. This agony that Heer is going through, IMHO...is sort of self inflicted...for whatever reason.
When Prem said, "maine tumhe maaf kiya," I am guessing he was being sarcastic. Of course he told Rano to go back!! It wasn't like he "wanted" to get married to Rano in the first place!! 😆 As for him going back to Heer...I know that was just an excuse he needed to see her...and to make her realize, again, that there is no one else out there for him, but her.
Yes, Heer should never have kept Chahat's existence from Prem. But she did. And Prem was mired in guilt for 6 years to see anything beyond Heer's izzat ka vaasta. She had after all told him not to see her or follow her. Now, I am hoping that the creatives are going to tell us why the whole Jzoo decided to move to Canada...or maybe not. Yes, he should have tried to find out about her...but maybe it was his guilt, the same guilt that had made the rest of his family strangers to him, made Prem stay away.
And what makes you think that Heer would have accepted his financial support? Let us say he was sneaky about it...and had Heer found out, she would have loathed Prem, reaffirming the belief that he was not to be trusted!!
Prem had to look at Heer once, to realize what his life was without her. He feels that for 6 years he waited for her to come to him. Heer, even now, shows no sign of wanting to be with him. So, Prem is backing her into a corner, making her to sit up and realize what they mean to each other.
Now, whose fault is it that Prem was not there during Heer's pregnancy? I refuse to believe that had Heer told him, Prem would not have been there by her side, guilt or no guilt! He wasn't there, because Heer did not want him there. And Prem knows that there is a huge difference in being a biological parent and a father! Why is he not pushing Heer to tell Chahat about him? He has every right...just like Chahat has a right to know her father! He is letting Heer dictate the terms as far as their daughter is concerned, because he knows how much Heer has struggled to bring the little girl up.
You ask Prem to be at a distant and help Heer out...how? She is going to throw his money back in his face..so financial help is out. For someone who is so independent and proud as Heer...what can he offer that she will willingly accept? Offer to send Chahat to a better school? Offer to pay for her upbringing? Why would Heer accept these..when she refuses to even tell Chahat about her father? Prem gave Heer distance...6 years have passed and for all intent and purpose...they are exactly where they left off!
Actions do speak louder than words. Prem was not, I repeat, not having an affair with Ash!! It was, to put it crudely, a one night stand...something that he did when highly intoxicated. I don't even want to get started on how he got to that point in the first place! Other than this one incident, when has Prem ever done anything for Heer to think that he is prone to chasing women?
While I agree with you that he needs to win her trust back...what else can he do here? Heer knows how dead his life was without her. She has heard it from nearly everyone, including Prem. He has apologized to her, begged her to come back...but no avail. So the only option that is left to him is to make her realize that if the love is there, everything else can be overcome. And the only time a person realizes the true worth of anything is when it is about to be lost.
I feel bad for Heer too! All her life she has waited for Prem, thought of nothing else but Prem. She has indeed been through a lot. More than death, it was Prem's (supposed) infidelity that broke her. A terrible sight, it must be, to see a woman in your husband's bed!
About Prem's bhashan...LOL!! I think he was just trying to make her understand how he sees her...and yet how much he still loves her and wants her in his life. Hasn't Heer been telling him every step of the way, exactly what she thinks of him?
It has taken Prem 6 years to understand that "woh bhagwan nahin hai" and that he is human and he made a mistake. I think Heer will take a little longer to realize that.
Ultimately...it is the strength of love that they have for each other that has to win. Love conquers all!
Thanks for reading!
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