If your heart's not in it
I'm missing you
Girl even though you're right here by my side
Cause lately it seems
The distance between us is growing too wide
He walked through the silent apartment, dragging his feet behind him almost unwillingly. The walls of the hallway were shadowed by the night with a lamp lit, causing lines and figures to come alive on them. A sudden sound broke through the night; he realized it to be the glass having fallen out of his hand. It now lay on the ground, near his feet, in broken pieces scattered about the tiled floor. It seemed to reflect his life, scattered and broken.
He glanced up when a gasp reached his ears, his finger dug into the piece he was picking up. He jumped slightly with a curse escaping his mouth causing the other occupant to wince. She had always hated cursing, it seemed so profane and low class to her. "Are you alright?" she asked him, getting a broom from the closet and walking towards him. "I'm fine" his gruff voice came in a soft reply as he leaned against the wall and watched her clean up his mess, as she always did.
I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over
That's the last thing that I wanna hear
Her long dark hair was pulled back in a French plait, something he knew Ashlesha loved to have done...by him. The short bangs fell across her cheeks while the longer strands that had escaped their cage flew down her neck. There was a crease on her forehead which he wanted nothing more than to kiss away yet he knew he couldn't, not anymore. There was a barrier between them now, a barrier they had allowed to create unknowingly or maybe they had noticed it but ignored it in hopes it would not be there forever.
But if your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If our love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it
It wasn't her fault and it wasn't his either. Fate seemed to have stepped in and showed them that their love...it really wasn't meant to be like they thought. Preet wouldn't say that it was gone, at least from his side, he still loved her dearly. But he had noticed her moving away from him, not literally but emotionally and he knew that the distance between was growing wider and wider with every second that passed. Maybe it was time to let go, he knew she wouldn't say anything, it would have to be him to bring it up and tell her it was okay. It can't be suppressed.
You say that you love me
But baby sometimes
You're just saying the words
If you've got somethin' to tell me
Don't keep it inside
Let it be heard
"Ash, leave that. I wanted to talk to you about something..." he trailed off as she turned her big dark eyes to stare at him curiously. They're so big...and they look at me with this innocence and trust. Can I really let go of her? He wondered as he took the broom from her and rested it against the wall, taking her hand and leading her to the sofa in the living room. "Preet, what's the matter?" she asked shifting a bit under his grip. He was kneeling in front of her with his hands on her knees with a frown on his face.
"Do you love me?" it shocked her to hear him ask that suddenly and in such a soft voice that it was almost unheard. She was quick to reply, "of course, what is the matter with you? Why would you ask me this now?" she tried to stand up but he kept a firm hold of her, not allowing her to move away from him.
"Listen to me, I'm not saying it because I'm having an affair or something...but even you can't say you haven't noticed that we're falling apart, don't deny it" he stood up, running his hand through his hair with a sigh, he turned his back to her and moved closer to the fireplace. Looking into the flames, he whispered, "Love that dies isn't really love Ashlesha, merely an emotion we think of as love when in reality we're just saying that because we don't want to lose the comfort we give each other. Love isn't about staying together; it's about giving without taking, you and me...we're not doing that. We're hiding our real feelings under this facade so we don't have to leave each other and lose that comfort".
I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over
But girl I'll make it easy for you
If your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If our love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it
"Wh-what are you saying Preet?" she managed to ask in a whimper, tears gathering in her eyes as she realized he was right. He turned around quickly when a sniffle reached his ears, the image of her in tears broke his heart and he moved swiftly to gather her in his arms. "Hush jaan, shh" he whispered in her ear softly, rubbing her back soothingly. "I'm just asking you not to fake your feelings about me, you don't love me anymore, and I don't suppose we ever did love one another. It was because we got along so perfectly, made each other feel comfortable, understood one another that we admitted it to be love, when all it was, was just deep friendship". She sniffed one last time in his chest and nodded her head, agreeing with him silently.
How I wish I could take us back in time
But it's gone too far now we can't rewind
(And there's nothing that I can do to stop me losin' you)
I can't make you change your mind
(If your heart's not in it)
If your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
They sat there in the lowly dimmed living room and talked; simply chatting about things, such as what would they do now. How were they going to break it to their friends and family? After a little discussion, they decided on calling everyone to come over and then explaining everything. It was much better than staging a fight which would end up with them cursing each other out and breaking up [Preet's idea].
"So...I guess I should move out now, I'll start packing tomorrow and have..." She was saying, playing with her bracelet, thinking carefully when he interrupted. "Whoa! What are you talking about? Moving out...why?" he sat up, his face twisting into a confused expression. She looked at him with her eyebrow raised, "Uhm, the fact that we're not dating anymore ring a bell to you?" a roll of her eyes had him sticking his tongue out at her.
"I remember, I'm not that forgetful. Why would you have to move out? You're my friend, one of my best friends and then I would have to get a roommate to help pay the rent and that's just too much work for me" he said, leaning back into the sofa while stifling a yawn. She laughed and shook her head at him.
"Are you sure? I don't want it to be awkward between us..." she trailed off, shifting her eyes to her nails and playing with them.
"No it won't. Look, we're breaking up but we're still really good friends, and you're just going to shift to the other room. And watch, sooner or later, we're going to bump into someone who's going to make our hearts speed up, sweat line up on our palms, our stomachs to flip with butterflies and everything's going to be just fine. Me and you will gossip then and threaten the new person for the other" he said with a smirk causing her to laugh.
===
Hey Guys...i had this pairing come in mind when i heard this song. No one seems to remember this jodi anymore due to many reasons...ahem ahem and ahem. Hush Kimz. Anyway, this shot didnt really come out how i wanted it to, i was all set out to make it tragic, as in srsly depressing with tons of crying and anger. *sigh* smexy. But some people, u know who u are, dont like tragic or depressing...so like kimz told me, i got my share of depression at the beginning and they got their happyness at the end. If you listen to the song, you'll realize the shot isn't exactly following in the lyrics path. It came out like that, dunno way. *shrug* Anyhoo...the song is "If your heart's not in it" by Westlife. Such a sweet song, i recommend you to hear it. 😍
Hasta luego, mi muchachos!
- Rinkz
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