a poem for premeer

hindi isnt my first language...its not my second one either....its my 3rd language....lol....but i tried to write a poem for premeer....it probably sucks because my hindi diction isnt great...so the wording is pretty simple...but i hope u guys still read it n comment on it....

Ek choti si prem kahani

Jab pehli baar dekha

Tho waqt teher sa gaya tha.

Jab pyaar ka izhaar kiya

Tho zamana moo mor liya tha.

Lekin dil ki dadkane itni dez thi

Ke samaj ko manna para.

Jab samaj ne kabool kiya

Tho kismat ne tukhra diya.

Lekin mohabat itni bar gayi thi

Ke maut ko bhi humare aage jukhna para.

so it's kinda wrapping up premeer's love story from the beggining to now...i hope u liked it...

hey JC that was very nice, trust me Urdu is my first language and i cant even attempt anything like that
fatima

omg..did you really write that? its veryyy impressive..wow..i wouldnt be able to do that too and plus it was very touchy...just loved it!!!

wow that was very well written!!!👏 sooooooooo good! keep it up!

Originally posted by: fj08

hey JC that was very nice, trust me Urdu is my first language and i cant even attempt anything like that
fatima

Originally posted by: premeer92

omg..did you really write that? its veryyy impressive..wow..i wouldnt be able to do that too and plus it was very touchy...just loved it!!!

Keep it up!!

Originally posted by: sonali09

wow that was very well written!!!👏 sooooooooo good! keep it up!

Originally posted by: JCluvs srk

hahaha i'm sure if u tried u cood write wonderful poems....man i wish i knew more hindi...some of the shayeris i've read are so awsome....i envy the writers so much....thank you for readin and commenting tho....it really meant a lot

oh no i couldnt
i even have problems conveying others poetry that i read... i convert it into prose.... my husband loves reading poetry but he has given up on trying to understand which shaer i am trying to say...
i will summarize the verse into words.... so i appreciate others who can write poetry so well :)

Originally posted by: fj08

oh no i couldnt
i even have problems conveying others poetry that i read... i convert it into prose.... my husband loves reading poetry but he has given up on trying to understand which shaer i am trying to say...
i will summarize the verse into words.... so i appreciate others who can write poetry so well :)

Originally posted by: JCluvs srk

hahahah its ok...poems arent my strength either...lol...i think i'm a better writer than a poet....mainly because i write in english....lol...wow...u hav a husband?...sorry😳....i jus never thought bout u being elder than me....lol

yes i am pretty sure i am older than you and am older than most members of this forum, and i have a husband and two daughters....
and speaking of writers and writing....when r we getting an update for 'prem ki diwani' didnt u leave us with a challenge from prem to heer that she will ask him to kiss her???
dont mean to bug you? was just wondering?

fatima