Kaun Banega Hero No 1?
Pamela Philipose
Posted online: Sunday, January 14, 2007 at 0000 hrs
There's a new game show in town. KBC, or Kaun Banega Crorepati. You can also call it BB vs KK, or Big Bachchan vs King Khan. If you still don't get it, you are either a) a Jurassic life form b) Live in the Gobi desert c) Speak only Chinese or d) Reside in eternal peace. So here's a preview of the first episode, with ShahRukh Khan as anchor...
SHAH RUKH (flashing dimples): Deviyon aur sajanon, welcome to a brand new series of Kaun Banega Crorepati. Call me Don II, if you wish, but sometimes one has to vault over the Deewar, break the Zanjeer, arrive like a Toofan and don the robes of a Jaadugar, in order to earn one's Roti, Kapada aur Makaan. You see, Kal Ho Na Ho, I want to give this my best shot. As you know, Hum Kissise Kum Nahi and sometimes even Shahju can Ban Gaya Gentleman in the host seat. You can call me a Duplicate, or Bade Miya's Chote Miya, but sometimes Commando Abhimanyu Rai has to take on Major Saab. Yes Boss, I plan to run away with this show. Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, and all that, if you see what I mean?
Okay, chalo. Let's play. Please welcome our first contestant on the hot seat, Rakesh Kumar. Are you ready to make Rs 1,000, Rakeshji? Right. What was the first film Amitabh Bachchan starred in? a) Deewana b) Saat Hindustani c) Kaala Pathar? d) Zanjeer? My, very quick on the buzzer. You say 'b) Saat Hindustani'? Confident? Lock kiya jaye? Very good, Rakeshji, sahi jawab diya, bro.You've just won a thousand.
Ready for the next round? To win Rs 10, 000, answer this. What is the debut film of yours truly? A) Trishul? B) Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman? C) Swades? D) Deewana? Don't get this wrong, Rakeshji. Matter of personal honour, man. Just jokin', ha, ha (dimples). You say 'd'? Confident? Chalo, let's ask computerji. Congratulations, Rakeshji, right answer.
For Rs 80,000, which is the first film in this list that starred both Amitabh Bachchan and ShahRukh Khan together. a) Kabhi Kushi Kabhie Gham b) Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna c) Mohabhatein d) Paheli. You know, I've always enjoyed acting with the Old Man. His is a class act. So polished. If I were to even presume to be bigger than him, I should wake up and apologise. Truly, cross my heart and hope to die (wink, wink, dimples). So when they asked me whether I would like to anchor this show, I accepted it in deference to the Big B. Main Hu Na?
Okay, Rakeshji, still thinking? Want to go in for 50:50? Okay. a) Kabhi Kushi Kabhie Gham b) Mohabhatein. Going for 'b'. Okay, computerji, lock 'b'. Great, you've just won Rs 80,000. I looked cute in that film, didn't I, taking on the might of college principal Narayan Shanker? Of course, I respected him, but one had to show him up, didn't one?
Now, for Rs 12,50,000, tell us the star awarded the title, 'Superstar of the Millennium'... a) Dilip Kumar b) Amitabh Bachchan c) Dev Anand d) ShahRukh Khan. Going for the buzzer, Rakeshji? You say 'b) Amitabh Bachchan' and ... you're right. How can a mere lad like myself aspire for such a title? You need to be as old as a millennium to get it. Just jokin', of course, Big B, ladies and gentlemen, is ageless.
Rakeshji, ready to win 500,000 bucks? Okay, who was the star that Time described as the most recognisable actor? a) Amitabh Bachchan b) Dilip Kumar c) Aamir Khan d) Shahrukh Khan. Got it Rakeshji? Great. Your GK is impressive. It is indeed 'd) ShahRukh Khan'. Yeh, small honours sometimes come my way. The big ones go to the Big B. I've a Padma Shri, he's got a Padma Bhushan! I know Priyanka Gandhi, he knew Rajiv Gandhi. Sometimes Kuch Kuch Hota Hai for yours truly as well!
Well, Rakeshji, ready for the Big One? You get one crore, if you tell us who the notable absentee at my New Year's party was. a) Salman Khan b) Preity Zinta c) Amitabh Bachchan d) Rani Mukherjee. Kuch idea hai? Remember aap ka two lifelines abhi bhi jeevit hain. Want to phone a friend? Go ahead. Ah, Salman Khan you say. Sorry, my friend, the correct answer is 'c) Amitabh Bachchan'.
Now, let me clarify, I don't hold this against the Angry Old Man. He probably had better things to do. Om Shanti Om, and all that. But, Hey Ram, I'm sure going to give him a run for his money. So Kaun Banega Hero No 1? Watch this space
pamela.philipose@expressindia.com