Would you forgive your man once...?

If your husband would cheat on you, would you forgive him once..., twice... never?!

I may (!! not really certain if I will) let a one night stand or just simple flirting pass, but an affair...?? Ouch, that is a big blow to one's self-esteem. I would rather not know about it, I don't know if I'll be able to handle the pain! Yet I think it's worth it to forgive at least just once. Sometimes an affair can revive a marriage, if the couple can survive it first. Right?

No comments? Hmmm... I had hoped to find out if there are more women who would forgive at least once, but I guess this is too personal. Sorry... 🤔

Originally posted by: Kai-Bolto

If your husband would cheat on you, would you forgive him once..., twice... never?!

I may (!! not really certain if I will) let a one night stand or just simple flirting pass, but an affair...?? Ouch, that is a big blow to one's self-esteem. I would rather not know about it, I don't know if I'll be able to handle the pain! Yet I think it's worth it to forgive at least just once. Sometimes an affair can revive a marriage, if the couple can survive it first. Right?

I am not sure how I would handle it.... would shudder to think about it, if it ever happened to me.

I may give another chance to the husband, if he is totally remorseful of what happened is 200% sure that he wants to start a new life with me.

Gosh, like you said, if at all I get over the affair thing...

tough question.makes one ponder. i dont know. i dont think i would be able to tolerate even a one-night stand. the question that would pop up in my mind would be "what did i lack that he forgot me, even though only for a night"
it doesnt matter if the moment was weak or anything else.

but u know what, it hurts even to think of such a situation. the thought that someone came as close to your husband as you have been to him, and most probably for a much longer time. uhhhhhhhh!

maybe my reaction will be diff if i AM ever in such a situation. god forbid that!

I will forgive if the children are young, needing father / family. I will also forgive if the matter is revealed willingly by my spouce (instead of my finding out)

I may not be so forgiving if the children are older and /or if many lies were told. It will also depend on my perseption of how my spouce would react if the situation were to reverse.

I do think that sometimes we have no control over who we are attracted to, but I do belive that we have full control over what path we take from there. I can forgive the first, but I need to see some sense of responsibility in the later.

Hmmm, that's right, it all depends on how good that husband is and how honest his efforts are to not slip again. Thanks for your reactions, ladies.
Now, I wonder exactly what pushes a guy to cheat, even if he has a wife that gives him everything? Because I think (I might be wrong), that it's easier for a man to cheat than a woman. Agree?

I agree.

I think now we are talking about a genetic wiring that's millions of years old vs the sense of good-bad-loyalty-honesty- etc that's 2-3-4 thousand years old. Let me point out that monogamy is a fairly recent practice of the civilized world. Before that polygamy was not uncommon anywhere in the world. And ofcourse, since most of the world was (and is) patriarchical, polygamy usually meant one man to many wieves.

Besides, in the rawness of nature very rarely one finds monogamy and loyalty among the male species, and at the core, us humans are not that much different from the rest of the animal kingdom when it comes to the 'basic instincs.' In most species only the females have shown to have the 'nesting urge (i.e., stick to one partner)'

This should not be used by men as an excuse, of course, and to repeat my opinion from my previous post, matters of heart are not always under our control (nature & genetics), but matters of action are (nurture, culture, moral values, etc). That's my 2-cents worth.

I agree!Its our culture that binds the women to a marriage,no matter how modern our thinking wud be and where we live!Our conscience will never permit us to even think about cheating our spouses!

I guess,i wud forgive my spouse (ONCE!!!),but like shiza98 said,it wud be easier to forgive than forget!I don't think i will ever forget the betrayal,and this is major betrayal of trust we're talking about,whatever the circumstances wud be,its actually unjustifiable,cos,imagine if we(the wives)were to do it,due to circumstances,do u think the husbands wud ever forgive and accept us again?I doubt it!If u guys have watched:'Arth'(shabana Azmi) and "Astitva"(acted by Tabu),u wud know what i mean!

So even if i forgive,i wud always be on my guard when it comes to trusting him,it will take a very long time before i can really learn how trust him again!Provided a very sincere effort is being put in from his side!And i don't think he can blame me for that,can he? 😊

Thats my opinion!Cheers! 😊

Originally posted by: Kai-Bolto

If your husband would cheat on you, would you forgive him once..., twice... never?!

I may (!! not really certain if I will) let a one night stand or just simple flirting pass, but an affair...?? Ouch, that is a big blow to one's self-esteem. I would rather not know about it, I don't know if I'll be able to handle the pain! Yet I think it's worth it to forgive at least just once. Sometimes an affair can revive a marriage, if the couple can survive it first. Right?

it is really difficult to put oneself in this situation. it would hurt me badly if i was fooled behind my back. so it depends if my spouse comes clean about the entire issue. if not then i can never forgive or forget. not once not ever. but if it is him who comes out with the truth. then i would certainly give him a chance and a chance to myself to find the essence in our marriage. i would really want to know what went wrong in our relationship.

I agree with shiza98 that forgiving is one thing and frogetting is another.
I'm too sensitive person I don't know how I'll react but I guess I'll forgive or may be not don't know but ya I'll definately ask my hubby that if he'll be able to forgive me if I ever do such a thing