Defending Prerna - Page 2

that was very well said and explained. i liked ur point of view. excellent. kepp up the good wrk.

I will give a different perspective to this.
INdo girl sterotypes in society are perpetuated further by Tv channels and films . Parents are imp for their childrens upbringing and if something goes wrong Mother usually gets the flak. But things are changing.

We have Kiran Mazumdar Shaw ( I hope u have heard of her) who is among the top business women in India she came up because of her father and right mentoring.
I am and will become because of my parents, I have a fighter pilot father who is my mentor and my mother who is a fearless journalist, she is my guide but there are others who have made my life wonderful. I am giving u my example because I come from a very metro, broadminded intellectually aware setup. Yes things are changing. Take Sania Mirza's example she represents our generation and can be a role model for many. Her parents are her guiding light.
Then I would also point out Girls pick up much from their mothers, she has to give u the right signals and it holds good for boys too, who later on look upto their DADs.
In the Indian setup if children have achieved much, it was because of a mother who was usually the one egging on. So we can not ignore her role, if her husband passed away she sacrificed her life for her children. Now things are changing. She is more aware of her own potential and her beliefs. For her solving board room problem is as imp as solving her childs problem at home.
Then there are also single fathers raising their sons and daughters, in bollywood Gulshan Grover raised his son single handedly and I also know of a family in a similar situation.
Social sceintist credit raising practices and genes for making us what we are. Women will be a lot confident if they are encouraged to seek, learn and achieve. So also men, they need to be taught to be respectful towards ladies and elders these are common set of values. A society functions if all the elements work in unison.

Now the question of love and freedom, there is nothing wrong in a lady loving another person even when she is happily married. Maybe she is trapped in a loveless marriage, these things require expert and gentle handling which our TV people rarely do.
U can fall in love even at the age of 56, if we talk of independence it should be for both men and women.
NOw coming to Prerna her defense falls short because of her portrayal as I have mentioned ( earlier) is not clear. Her's is a classic case of a women who is seeped in Victorian values( coz the script writers need to worry about a class that is traditional in mindset) yet has a modern setup. She learned much from Moloy basu and anurag , but did not conceptualize it. Anurag too learned much from her. Her intellectual defeciency and delusionary thinking have persisted with advancing age. There is no learning. Maybe overly emotional people seldom get out of the I am hurt mould.
No questions will be asked if she stops becoming defensive of her love life with Anurag.( This is the catch and the script writers will dare not venture out from the sigh here and a kiss there mould.)
In private she is not ashamed but in practice when she dons the role of a dutiful wife and is questioned by her husband she becomes to slide downward. That is her problem. I do not beleive in the blame game, parents if there are 2 sets should look into themselves and grown up kids need to be also responsible for the good, bad and the ugly. IT IS A MATTER OF TAKING UP RESPONSIBILITY AND ADHERING BY IT.
At most times Prerna emerges as a confused character, because of her misplaced loyalities. I would admire her if she went on an individual quest of making herself better and then try to make the life of her loved ones happy.
signora 2

wow well-written indeed! But since I am one of the ppl who criticise her these days, let me clear the misunderstanding abt why we dislike her..

Originally posted by: indogirl

From very beginning she has stood by what is right.

Now, this time, Tushar is right and udi is wrong. But she has stood by udi (wrong), not by tushar(right). Hence she deserves all the bashing she gets. look at tulsi- these days she is helping nandini to punish gomzi. she didnt defend her criminal son saying 'oh oh not his fault u see, he was kidnapped when he was a baby and cant u see- i am trying to improve him now. if u want to punish sm1, punish the ppl who raised him.'

Originally posted by: indogirl

In any situation, what she tries to do is not essentially wrong, but it is her ways that are faulty.

this time, she is trying to defend a criminal, which is essentially wrong, regardless of her ways.

Originally posted by: indogirl

If we talk about the current situation, she expects bajaj to understand her no matter what.

Well actually, for the first time in his life, he is really, truly understanding her this time. He is seeing her for what she is- a mean, selfish, shallow person with no sense of right and wrong. He is seeing her real face now. and he is showing the mirror to her now. Finally he is also trying to do the 'right' thing- standing up for his own children instead of ignoring them and supporting prerna and her children.

Originally posted by: indogirl

But others fail to listen to her arguments as well.

We listened to her arugments.

Argument 1: It's not my son's fault, he was taught wrong stuff by his new mother.

Conclusion: So we should stop punishing all criminals because even they all will claim- it's not my fault, i was taught this by my parents. Should we free all criminals in the world, abolish court systems, police and jails?

Argument 2: If we send him to jail, he'll do bigger crimes.

Conclusion: Let's free all the criminals who are currently in jails across the world. Afterall, they would do bigger crimes once they come out. The thing is- majority of criminals are in the 20-40 age grp (Same as udi) and majority of them hv a bad upbringing. should we just free them all???

Argument 3: He has made a mistake, not a crime.

If a deliberate cold-blooded attempted murder is a 'mistake', what is crime then???

So let's make her the queen of the world-because she knows more than all law-makers, philospophers, kings who have ever lived on this planet- stupid ppl- they invented courts and jails u see. let's free all criminals. Yeah, some innocent ppl like tushar may suffer due to this, but hey- it's ok as long their surname is not 'basu'.

Originally posted by: indogirl

Here we cannot only blame Prerna for problems in her relationships. Two people are involved in a relationship and it takes both of them to create a rift.

I agree here. Bajaj himself is responsible for his problems. He doesnt hv the guts/decisiveness/determination to just kick this woman out and punish her criminal son in his own way instead of depending on the dysfunctional indian court system.

Originally posted by: indogirl

Why is that always a woman is blamed for her kids' mistakes. Isn't a man equally responsible for bringing up his kids? Isn't he responsible for his kids' mistakes?

First of all, it is a CRIME, not a mistake. and we r NOT blaming her for udi's mistakes.and the only person to be ultimately blamed for this crime is udi himself. If he runs a big dot-com company, he certainly has the brains to take his own decisions. all we expected from prerna was that she should support the one who is right, not the one who is the criminal. But, she chose to support the wrong side. the fact that she has no feelings for tushar- the one who fulfilled all duties as her ideal son, is not worth mentioning here, because she cannot think beyond her blood- at least after the leap.

Let me also clarify that my criticism for her is only recent. She was pretty ok till this point- till she supported udi. Actually her char. has taken a wrong turn since the leap onwards..till then she was quite a decent character.

I agree 100% with Arti's analysis......

The day Ekta shows Bajaj kicking out Prerna & staying happily with his kids without pining for her, I swear I'll go with a box of mithai to Ekta...I'll really do it

Way to go Arti!!!
U rock!

everyone has good points, some people are picking and choosing, leaving important factual knowledge out, to make their argument stronger, but the point of a debate it not to win, but to come closer to the truth.

like i've said before on the forum, prerna is supporting UD on this is wrong, but i wish life were that easy, where we could make choices, when we clearly understand the right and the wrong, but life does not present itself in such a neat and simple package, if u put yourself in prerna's shoes, u find ur son after all these years, u r going to forgive and forget, my point is not that its right, its not, but u can understand, her justification of her actions, i watched one of the videos online, and it clearly depicted that prerna loves tushar just as much, although, i don't know where the scriptwriter's are going, but thus far, prerna's character sketch, has loved her children all equally,again, just incase someone puts words in my mouth, i do not agree with prerna's stance, but i can certainly understand, why she did what she did, its easy explaining, justifying things to yourself, but its a whole matter trying to explain urself to the world.
i'll write my own thoughts later on, right now finsh my assignment.

Before, I do my actualy work, i would like to say i really do NOT agree with people lying blame on the mother for the actions of their child, to a certain tender age, a mother and a FATHER or whoever is the GAURDIAN are equally responsible for the child, but beyond a point, say 18 for the sake of numbers, the child must take responsiblility for his actions, but i do not ever agree with lying the blame on the mother, if the child is wrong at six, his father also must be held accountable, anecdotal information is relevant, but not entirely useful, much research and common sense would lead one to believe that mothers should not be held entirely responsible for a child's action, after all, the woman did not self-reproduce.

Originally posted by: jessie

Before, I do my actualy work, i would like to say i really do NOT agree with people lying blame on the mother for the actions of their child, to a certain tender age, a mother and a FATHER or whoever is the GAURDIAN are equally responsible for the child, but beyond a point, say 18 for the sake of numbers, the child must take responsiblility for his actions

Yeh to samjha & I agree but...

Originally posted by: jessie

but i do not ever agree with lying the blame on the mother, if the child is wrong at six, his father also must be held accountable, anecdotal information is relevant, but not entirely useful, much research and common sense would lead one to believe that mothers should not be held entirely responsible for a child's action, after all, the woman did not self-reproduce.

Can u please traslate this is into something easier to understand😉

INDOGIRl,this was the thing jo main itne dinon se kehna chah rahi thi,u said it all.Nice defending

Originally posted by: jessie

like i've said before on the forum, prerna is supporting UD on this is wrong, but i wish life were that easy, where we could make choices, when we clearly understand the right and the wrong, but life does not present itself in such a neat and simple package, if u put yourself in prerna's shoes, u find ur son after all these years, u r going to forgive and forget, my point is not that its right, its not, but u can understand, her justification of her actions, i watched one of the videos online, and it clearly depicted that prerna loves tushar just as much, although, i don't know where the scriptwriter's are going, but thus far, prerna's character sketch, has loved her children all equally,again, just incase someone puts words in my mouth, i do not agree with prerna's stance, but i can certainly understand, why she did what she did, its easy explaining, justifying things to yourself, but its a whole matter trying to explain urself to the world.
i.

Absolutely!
I can see where Prerna and Anurag are coming from...I can see where Bajaj is coming from...I can see Prerna's dilemma...life is not black and white...people are not black and white...A Tulsi is a rarity....A Mother India is a rarity...Prerna is our average woman who is not perfect who makes mistakes who has flaws, maybe some major flaws...