Part 17
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Coach Carter by M. Williamson
Jai couldn't keep the silly grin off of his face - he flipped the phone open again, perhaps for the umpteenth time. He traced his finger softly on the picture that stared at him, an inexplicable tenderness evident in his eyes. He couldn't wait for Bani to come to Mumbai on Thursday. He had asked her to come and spend Thursday with his family and leave on Friday night to go to the quarters that were provided for the jockeys. He rescheduled his travel to Ireland, so that he can leave on Sunday night instead of leaving on Friday.
More than one person commented about his lovely mood in the last few days, he didn't realize that he was such a sour puss. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs and toyed with the idea of calling her again, and barely controlled himself. He didn't want to appear like an overeager teenager, but it was becoming quite apparent to him, that's exactly what he had become. The hard crust of cynicism seemed be cracking under the assault from his petite and innocent fiancee. He didn't know when it started happening, but she somehow managed to get under his skin and into his blood. The worst part was, he didn't feel too bad about it.
His thoughts switched to the morning when maasi invited the Pundit to talk about the wedding dates. Maasi had insisted that the pundit read his palm. Thank God that Maasi went inside to get the Pundit some tea, because Jai was more than a little miffed when the pundit talked about the lines on Jai's hand not being conducive to an early marriage. Jai laughed and told him that it must be true because he is already thirty-two and older than most Indian men of marriageable age. But something in the Pundit's face told me there was more to it than he was willing to divulge.
Jai told himself that he was not going to prod the pundit about what he read because he was more than a little scared of the prediction. His intuition told him to let the sleeping dogs lie. He had no intention of giving Maasi more ammunition to postpone or stop the wedding so he pushed the Pundit out of the door as quickly as he could without getting Maasi all suspicious.
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The train ride was rough as usual, the freight trains that took horses from one place to the other were not the most comfortable for people. The stable hands typically accompanied the horses along with the jockeys. They all congregated in the second-class compartments. The stories of the races, the horses, the wins and the losses always invigorated Bani, the more experienced Jockeys mentoring the younger ones, regaling them about the photo finishing races, the near losses, the heartache, the triumphs.
Sunny D'Souza came on the train ride with Bani. He was her teacher and mentor from Cottonwood Stables where Bani stayed many a summer. She roomed with Sunny and his wife and literally grew up with George, Sunny's one and only son who turned back on his father's profession and moved to the city to be a veterinary doctor.
They talked about her competition and the strategies to win. A famous Anglo-Indian Jockey by the name of Roberto Baez was going to be participating in the derby race and the rest of the jockeys were wary of his reputation. A lot depended on the Jockey even though everyone thought that it was only the horse that made the difference. While Sunny and Bani talked about the winning strategies, Ranveer hung around with the stableboys and Karan.
Even though Karan was the boss's son, the stable hands behaved pretty irreverently with him. The crew shared an easy camaraderie and laughed and pulled Karan's leg while Ranveer watched with awe and admiration at the older man. Ranveer was always taught by his mother not to mingle with the household help and to conduct himself as their master rather than a friend. Even though he never saw his own dad and mama-ji mistreating the help, he never saw them so friendly with the servants. Ranveer saw that the stable hands were warm and friendly and played pranks on each other mercilessly. But he also saw that they were very protective of their own during one small brawl that broke out in the station before they boarded. They all rushed to Jassi's rescue when an outsider picked a fight with him. Ranveer felt envious of their closeness because he was still treated as an outsider. Mostly they were terse and business-like with him, treating him like the way he treated them at first.
Pia sat by the window, dressed up in a khaki capris wth a pink sleeveless shirt and a scarf tied around her hair so that the wind didn't blow it out of its fashionable coiffure. She kept sneaking glances towards Karan who seemed oblivious to her scrutiny. Once she went and sat by the boys and pretended that something fell in her eye hoping that Karan would look at her but much to her disgust the only person who volunteered was the old stable hand Harkishan. She quickly retreated to her seat as the boys shared a laugh. Everyone knew what was going on except for Karan and the sisters.
Rano on the other hand was dozing off with her glasses on her nose, a book lay open in her hands and she was snoring softly. The boys dared Ranveer to put a beedi in her mouth and he took the challenge reluctantly. He badly wanted the initiation into the gang but not at the expense of the girl. He crept up close to her and put the lighted beedi in her mouth and crept back as quietly as he came. The crew erupted in laughter as Rano snorted through her mouth and the beedi fell in her lap and on to her book. She got up with a start and saw that there was a hole burning in her book and Rano gave the boys the choicest curses known to mankind. She quickly figured out who was behind at that prank.
She marched to Ranveer and glared it him, her eyes turning into black flints behind the large glasses.
"Hey You!! Did you do that?" the vitriolic rage made her face turn into a beet.
He looked up belligerently, "I told you that I am not a horse, I don't answer to anyone who addresses me like that"
"Well, I never thought you were a horse, I think you are a jackass" Rano folded her hands and tapped her foot in temper.
"Isn't that like a pot calling the kettle black"
"Is that the best you can do for a retort? Or Are you so lazy that you don't want to hurt yourself thinking too hard"
He seethed with rage, not one suitable retort coming to his aid when he needed the most.
"Well, it may be good that you keep your mouth shut, because people may think you're stupid, but if you open, they will know you are stupid" Rano turned to go, happy that she got the better of him.
"Rano, looks like your nails are too long, I guess it's time to take you to the vet €" Mieoooowwwwww" his parting shot hit the target right in the bull's eye.
She wanted to use those claws on him and scratch his eyes out.
"Oh Yeah, the vet doesn't even take in the jackasses" she spat out in anger.
Their eyes met each other's ferociously, neither wanting to back out of the fight. Eventually the screeching halt of the train broke their stare.
At that moment, Rano made a commitment to herself to teach him a lesson that he would not forget soon.
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Jai sent the chauffeur to pick them up from the stables, although Bani was disappointed that he didn't show up, she conceded that he was a busy man. She was apprehensive of meeting his family again, when the car stopped in front of the formidable house again, the three sisters along with Ranveer stepped out. In the daytime, the mansion looked larger than it did before, the butler, Tony appeared magically, it was surprising because they didn't even ring the bell. Adi, Dadi and Maasi welcomed them with open arms. Jigyasa ignored the three girls and went straight to her son fussing all over him and complaining about the tan he acquired being outside in the sun. Rano smirked at Jigyasa's over protectiveness while Ranveer tried to get away from his mother's cloying arms.
Bani touched the feet of Maasi and Dadi who looked pleased at Jai's bahu. After the snacks and tea, Maasi sat with Bani and discussed the wedding plans.
"Bani, kya mein ek baat poochoon?" Maasi looked at the bent head of Bani lovingly.
Bani looked up, a questioning look on her face, "Ji, bilkul, Boliye?"
"Tumhari taraf se koi aur bhi rishtedaar hai, iss shaadi ke tayyar karne ke liye?"
A deep pain racked through her, the only people who are close to her were her sisters and the people back at the stables and perhaps Sunny D'souza and his wife who sheltered her when she was little. Haltingly she told Maasi that she doesn't have anyone who could oversee the arrangements.
Adi came and joined them and hugged Bani in a loving embrace. "Bani, main hoon na, just think of me as your dad's younger brother, and chacha hone ke naathe, mein tumhara shaadi kar va doonga, I may be Jai's friend and brother-in-law but from this day forward consider myself your uncle" His kind eyes rested on hers until Bani blinked away the tears.
"Bani, why are you crying? What the hell is going on?" Jai's voice was incredulous. She didn't see him joining them.
Daadi laughed, "Arre, Puttar, hum thodi tumhare bahu ko rulayenge? Wah, hero aaya, heroine ko rescue karne ke liye!" Dadi winked at Jai as Bani blushed.
Jai calmed down as Daadi and Adi explained what was going on.
They sat for a while and talked about the upcoming race and more about the wedding.
Jai couldn't wait for them to be alone, but it seemed like they were all collaborating and conspiring against him. First Anu and Sahil insisted on showing Bani and the sisters the house and the gardens. The last room they took her to was the library. Bani was impressed with the library and the number of books on the shelves. The cherry bookcases had clear glass doors showcasing immaculate rows of first edition books in hard covers, they were dust-free and in mint-condition.
Books on psychology, religion, politics, self-help, autobiographies were in their individual sections, catalogued by author and title. He had an impressive collection of philosophy books by famous philosophers like Plato, Socrates, Sartre, Nietschze, Aquinas, Aristotle, Rousseau, Ayn Rand, Russell, Marx, Mao, U.G. Krishnamoorthi, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Vivekananda etc.
On one side, there were classics, anthology of short stories, poems, novels by Maugham, Wilde, Byron, Wordsworth, Keats, Tagore, Dunne, Shakespeare, Hardy, Austen, Bronte, Hemingway, Tennyson and translations of many Bengali and Indian authors filled the book shelves.
Two sections were filled with the best sellers, old and new ranging from cowboy books, mysteries, science fiction, thrillers, romance and all books by the famous Indian authors like Salman Rushdie, Vikram Seth, Rohinton Mistry, Arundhati Roy, RK Narayanan, Kiran Desai, Jhumpa Lahiri, Kamala Markandeya etc. Then there were books on photography, fashion design, architecture and food.
Bani thought she died and went to heaven, her childlike joy was visible in her face when Jai entered the library and saw her awe-struck expression. He was glad that something about his house impressed her. He was beginning to think that all his wealth and lavish lifestyle meant nothing to her, finally there was something that caught her attention.
As he stood at the doorstep, she turned towards him, and took an involuntarily step toward him, her hands outstretched expressing her wonder. Sahil and Anu went out leaving Bani and Jai in the room, neither of the teenagers were into reading and books.
"Mr. Walia, I love this room, I can just sit here and spend all my time just reading." Bani couldn't stop talking about the books.
"And here I was hoping that you would spend all your time entertaining your husband in the bedroom!" the bland statement took her breath away in a flash.
"Aren't you going to say hi to your future husband?" Jai taunted her softly.
She was tongue tied for a response. He closed the door behind him with a small kick and walked towards her. With each step he took towards her, her heartbeats multiplied until all she could hear was the roar of her blood flowing in her ears.
He finally stopped in front of her as she backed into the wall behind her, he closed in until there was no space between her and him. Each breath she took, her heaving bosom touched him, she thought that the clamoring of her heart was audible for the whole house to hear.
"Don't tell me that you are more interested in the books than your handsome fiance!" His massive chest crushed hers as he lifted her chin upwards with one of his fingers.
She swallowed compulsively, her neck muscles moved, her swan like neck long and graceful. Her pulse beat rapidly on the side of neck. He took his thumb and rubbed it on the pulse soothing it.
"Mr. Walia, some one is going to come into the room" Bani said incoherently, all thought was being flung outside the window at this moment.
"I don't give a damn!"
He bent his head to kiss her pulse where his thumb was circling, he slowly caught the arms that were dangling on her side and brought them on to the walls, his actions crucifying her to the wall as he took liberties with her neck, the slightly open neck of her blouse. He blew warm air into the opening and she shivered uncontrollably. He dragged his mouth back to her shell like ears and bit her lobe gently, before landing on her quivering lips. His fingers pried open her fists and opened her palms as he held them against the wall. His thumb traced the inside of the palm until she thought that she would die of pleasure. His large palms covered hers entirely, and finally he settled his lips on hers and the kiss that started gently stoked the fire that was building inside until the blaze spiraled out of control. Neither of them wanted to stop the kiss as they became slaves to the passion that was unleashed.
When he finally dragged his mouth away from hers, his hands finally let hers go. He leaned forward to place his chin on her forehead, her face well hidden in his neck. The only thing that made her stay upright was the weight leaning into hers against the wall. She was sure that his body left an imprint on hers.
"I wish we can get away from here, away from all the prying eyes and interruptions", Jai sighed heavily.
Her hands came up to push him away shyly.
"Maasi wanted me to come with her to do some shopping for the wedding" Bani mumbled.
"Ask Jigyasa to do all the shopping, I know she loves to do it" his voice was dry.
"So does my sister, Pia" Bani giggled. "But I have to buy this, it's the wedding saree"
"You are wearing a saree for the wedding?" Jai put some space between them, Bani felt the chill as the warmth of his body was removed from hers.
"No, I am wearing jeans and t-shirt" she looked like a little imp, a faint smile playing on her lips.
"So you do have a sense of humor, I was beginning to wonder!" Jai started tickling her until she doubled up with laughter.
He stopped when she finally collapsed on the floor.
"Do you have to practice tomorrow?" Jai asked Bani.
"Yes, I need to familiarize myself with the track and this is my chance to compete against some of the best horses and jockeys, I have to watch a lot of video tapes of the other jockeys practicing, to assess their strengths and weaknesses."
"So who is your competition?"
"Roberto Baez, he is really something, this is his last race, he is going to retire after the derby."
They sat against the wall in comfortable silence when Anu and Sahil walked in. The two teenagers looked at each other and rolled their eyes.
The dinner was a loud and lavish affair, the girls never saw so much food being served on an ordinary day. Pia and Jigyasa hated each other's guts, Pia not backing out from the fight and giving as good as she got as Jigyasa took pleasure in putting down the girls every chance she got, especially when Jai and Maasi were not in the vicinity.
Bani insisted that they sleep in the outhouse, feeling uncomfortable to stay with the family before the marriage. Jai couldn't help but admire her independence, she refused to take his money for the shopping too, telling him that she will manage somehow.
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The practice went smoothly, the horse and the rider acclimatizing to the tracks, the starting gates and so on. Jai stood near the pits and watched her go, his heart in his throat at the speed with which she was flying. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea of her falling down and hurting herself. He turned away several times, when she almost stood on the saddle, hoping that she wouldn't be thrown from the horse. She rode Pipedreams first, and then she rode Silver Lining, the second horse was misbehaving and veering towards one side while it ran. This was a common thing for some horses. Many a time, they crashed into other horses, creating accidents. Bani mentally prepared herself on how to deal with it in the real run.
Jai spotted an older gentleman sitting and watching from the bleachers as the Bani controlled the horse to make him stay on the course.
After what seemed like an eternity, Bani joined him €" she looked tired, her energy sapped from the long practice. He held her close as if wanting to transmit some of his energy into her.
The older gentleman joined them in the pits and nodded at Bani.
"Good run there, Ms. Dixit" there was no smile on his face.
Bani stared at him, recognizing the man immediately. The man was none other than her competition, Roberto Baez, no more than 5"4 tall with thin build, and an almost balding pate. He was non-distinguishable for the most part except for his eyes, they were keen and pierced through like arrows.
"Sir, Aap? you were watching me?" Bani was aghast that such a famous man was watching her.
"I always check out my competition before I participate in any race" his calm statement took her breath away.
"You think I am your competition?" Bani looked surprised.
"With that attitude you are going to have a hard time winning" the older man smiled at her. "Don't fear your competition, it's only going to set you back, just think you are the best, the brightest, the most talented. I am not going to make it easier for you, I will do my very best, and that's a warning for you, it's for you to decide whether you want to outshine me or whether to shrink in fear." He paused to size her up and down.
"From what I hear, you will try to outshine me because I don't see the insecurity in your personality, so I give you permission to be confident and to try and beat me" Jai wanted to remove the smirk from his face but a glint in the old jockey's face warned him to not to come to Bani's rescue.
Bani stiffened automatically, she looked him squarely in the eye, "Sir, I respect you, but that doesn't mean, I am going to let you win, I will not back down just because you are the famous RBaez. I will make sure that you run for your money today. Please be warned, and I don't need your permission to beat you!" The fire in her eyes was blazing.
"Mmm, that's what I thought you would say", he smiled, his eyes softening a little. "About your horse veering to the side, I have a suggestion!" Instead of forcing it to come back to a straight line, he asked to let it go and take his own course.
"I am not going to wish you good luck, and don't do the same for me €" from this moment forward we are adversaries, at least until the race finishes tomorrow" He shook hands with Jai and left them standing staring after him.
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The excitement was palpable, every racing fan seemed to be there, some with wads of money in their pockets, some with just a tiny bit saved for their favorite race. Almost every one seemed to be pouring over the racebooks, picking the jackpot numbers, the trifecta (pick three horses in one race to come in sequence), the quinella(pick two horses in one race to come in sequence), bets on wins (first place), shows (second place) or places (third place). The jackpot carried a big purse, the numbers of the winning horses have to be picked in seven consecutive races to win the jackpot. The odds were high for winning a Jackpot, one fluke spoiled the bets for most.
The second race was over before it began. Jai placed his bet on Bani. Bani won comfortably.
The wait was unbearable for the sixth race. Finally when it started Pia, Rano, Jai, Karan and Ranveer along with several other stable hands gripped the fence as they waited for the gun to go off and the horses set out from the starting gates. Bani spotted Roberto on his horse, €˜Winning streak', they both acknowledged each other with a curt nod as they moved toward the starting gates. The helpers pushed the horses in. Bani felt the clammy sweat in her palms, the horse fidgeted nervously, she remembered what Roberto said about letting the horse go and giving it free reins when it pulled to the side. She went through the mental steps of all the things she learned in the last fifteen years, this was her moment to shine, her dream to come true. She wasn't going to let any one take it away.
The shot rang almost like a cannon in her head, the horses pushed out from the gates and the race began in earnest. The nervousness, the excitement, the fear taking the backseat as the horse and rider became one. She focused on the track and covering the laps in the quickest time possible. She could see the other riders being present and coming close on her heels, but she just kept pushing Silver Lining, urging the stallion to take wings. The grunts, the shouts, the froth coming out from the mouths of the horse, the hoof beats were sounds that were familiar yet different. This whole race seemed like a dream.
As the final lap came into the visibility all she could see was the flash of red next to her and the white line on the ground, she bent her head and streamlined her body and prayed for the horse to stretch his neck as long as possible.
When the horse eased into a stop, she didn't know who won the race, all she could tell was she did well. Winning Streak was cruising along her side with Roberto on top, he smiled at her.
"So it's you and me, do you think I am going to retire with a trophy or lose against a twenty-two year old, gritty girl with a lot of gumption?"
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Hello, everyone! thank you once again for the lovely comments, please do leave a note or two if this part is too long or too boring, I will pare it down to the usual 8 pages next time...
Please leave your comments, cherry on the top?
I am getting all these weird characters when I post the update, hopefully it's not too hard for you to read...
Folks, can you do me a favor and let me know who you want to win the race.
Roberto,
Bani
Or a
Tie?
You can send me a PM, post it here, doesn't matter...
Edited by Sheena_Row - 18 years ago
