part 11
Today one year passed. I got engaged to shiv. i picked up my diary in which i have written everything, i always had a habit of writing a diary. i wrote it every single day. writing about my day. Mom dad were thinking about the proposal as di had requested. Ami told me that she only wanted my happiness. Well she did stand true to her words she did give me my happiness by accepting shiv's proposal for me. During that time I prayed to Allah just kill me and take away the misery that shashank cost. I complained about him to the principle and he got kicked out of university. I remember the first time I met him. He was a playboy . He would do anything to get what he wants. I met him in university. He was forcing himself onto a girl in front of his friends and a huge crowd. He was raping her not physically but verbally.
I was shocked there were so many people just standing there and doing nothing. His friends laughing at the girl. Shashank threw her dupatta on to the floor. The girl was crying begging for mercy. I picked up the dupatta. I went towards them pushed himm away and put the dupatta on the girl. She was crying with hiccups. I was so angry. I just pulled shashank arms. Made him face him and dashโฆ.. I slapped him so hard. " tum jaise insane ka katal kar dena chahiye" "aye" he shouted but I was just so angry. His anger did not effect me. " apna moo band hi rakho. Kyun ke jahan tak me janti tumhe kuch kehne sunene ke liye bhi izzt ki zaroorat hai jo me ne srae aam tumhe thapar mar ke utaar di. Tum kya jano aurat ki izzat karna. Tume jaise log aurat ko khilona samujhte hain jab chaha kehla jab chaha chor diya. Kya tumhare maa baap ne tumhe izzat karna nahi sikhaya. Khuda se dar nahi lagta. Eik baar nahi socha ke agar tumhari behen ke saath ajj koi yeh kare to ky hoga. Ohh haan tumeh kaise pata hoga tum jaise log to apni behen ko hi kasoor war thehrao ge. Kitne zalil insaan ho tum shashank" she slapped him again.
"tumeh kya laga ke tum yahan is larki ke saath bad tameezi karo ge or koi tumhe kuch nahi kahe ga. Shashank tum jaise mard apna zor auraton pe hi kyun azmatay ho. Yeh to me pehle hi janti thi ke tum neech or bohot giray hoe insane ho lakin ajj pata chala ke tum to us se bhi kai ziyada bhar ke ho. Tumhe pata hai tum eik jahil or paray likhe ganwar ho. Tumhari jaga kissi ke dil me nahi hogi balke paon me hogi. Tumhare liye dil se badua nikalti hai shashank ke tum zindagi me khabhi pyar na pao. Kissi aurat ka pyar na pa sako." she left with the girl. Who was holding onto her tight now. Every one was stunned at what I did. I guess no one ever had insulted shashank that way. After that I never saw him misbehaving. But what did I know. I thought after so much insult he would not do anything like that ever again or would never bother a girl ever again. But he did and this time it was me. And now I know how it is to be played with. I became his pass time hobby. I had insulted me more than I insulted him. He did everything he could to crush my pride. In the past year he had sent a proposal for me. I felt a slap on my face a slap which no one could hear but will stay with me forever.
Those days had been the worst days of my life. But asad bhai and di saved me. They told abu ji to reconsider the proposal that shiv sent for me. And ami already knew about me like shiv. So my dad rejected shashank's proposal and approved shiv. Today is sameena's mehendi. In the afternoon every one came to sameena's house. I was already there. Ami ji and family arrived. Colours were everywhere. I told shiv to be very careful once ami ji and abu ji comes. Not to do anything that can cause shame. My sisters were wearing yellow shalwar kameez with light work on it. And a little bit of make up. Me on the other hand was wearing something different as always. I was wearing black shalwar kameez with no make up. Even with no make up my skin was glowing as everyone kept telling me. I did not want attention. But even then I knew that I was for someone. Sameena kept crying. No matter what we did she did not stop crying. We girls wanted to stay up all the night while the parents went to sleep in an other house. The boys side had already left. I had been a good night we enjoyed ourselves. We overshadowed the boy's side. But now everything was calm. I made kiran di's daughter sleep. I came to the kitchen to prepare a milk bottle for kiran just in case she wakes up. I stopped at the door.
Shiv was making tea for himself asad bhai and majeed bhai."kya ho raha hai" I asked simply. He peeked outside, when found no one he caught my hand. "yeh bohot kari shart hai gauriโฆ.. Me tumhe dekhta raha lakin dur dur se. mere dil se pooch kya haal hai." "shiv please" I tried to free my hand from his grip. "koi a jaye ga chor mujhe!" "jab tum ne mere haq me faisla de diya hai to keh do tum meri ho." he whispered in my ear. "yeh sab baad ki batien hain please abhi mujeh choro." I was scared anyone could come. And he was being stubborn. He wanted to get everything out of me now. Only then we heard footstep coming near. We both jittered. I took to feeder and stood by the sink and he started pouring tea in cups.
"shiv tumhari chai nahi gal rahi" asad bhai was at the kitchen door. Her legs were trembling. Who knows what he was thinking about them now. "chai to gul hi gayi hai. Lagta hai daal nahi guli." he said softly and shiv laughed. "sahi andaza hai bilkul, akhir is maidaan ke purane khiladi hain." "nahi yaar, hum ne khel wail nahi khela" he said with desire. "hume to masom dor me ami ne khilona diya kehlne ko ke lo miyan khelo. Bas chori chupe khelne ki naubat hi nahi ayi." I was so embarrassed. And kept washing the bottle aimlessly. "gauri bibi" app kya iss bottle ko dho dho ke ghisne ka irada kiye hoe hain" majeed bhai asked. My eyes had a silent complaint in them that made majeed bhi not say anything more. Right then ali bhai came. " gauri bibi app chai le gi" asked shiv with such innocence. I controlled my laughter with great difficulty. "ji nahi shukriya" I said with the same carelessness. "bach gayi zaya ho gi iss liye app se pooch liya" he told me as if he did not care. "waise inka khaya piya bhi zaya hi jata hai" said ali bhai and every one laughed. " agar bura na manien tokuch arz karon" asked majeed bhai. I looked at him with questions in my eyes. Shiv was standing by his side now. "ajj app bohot achi lag rahi hain. Kazoos apke baal." shiv nodded at te back as well. And I started blushing. While ali bhai starting coughing. "bohot shukriya majeed bhai." I said with boldness " yeh sab sameena ki mehnat or app ka husn-e-nazar hai" majeed bhai started laughing while ali bhai could not stop coughing. I left the bottle nd came upstairs where kaya was applying mehendi on sameena.
Edited by crystalclear - 18 years ago
