Mini FF: Unshed Tears...(Completed)

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91118

Suspended

Posted: 18 years ago

#11

wow sareeta!! this FF is absolutely AMAZING!!! 👏 👏 But that can be expected from such good writer as you 😉 Loved the emotions...the pathos in Gauri is described well...she's too much in a shock to even form tears let alone cry...poor shiv 😭

I hope you're going to change that mini in front of the FF to a major....b/c I know this FF will be awesome!! 👏 👏 👏 Continue soon!!

-Sravi

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Sareeta

@sareeta

Sparkler

Posted: 18 years ago

#12

Continuation: Part 2:

"Tum ab ek pal bhi is ghar mein nahin rahogi..jus pack your bags.. and leave.. Jus go..." , his voice echoes , as she slowly stares at the smiling photograph of her husband, not stirring at all... as his tears , feel warm on her hand...

Almost ,unconciously , she bends over towards the frame and gently picks up the photgraph, and continues to look on, blank, devoid of any emotion, his voice echoing in her head...as he caught by her movement , looks at her, intensely,... waiting for her reaction, but fails to see any....

Holding the photoframe, she jus look on blankly at his face in the photograph, that he notices, as her hands tremble, holding the frame...

"Gauri...." he manages to say, gently placing his hand over hers holding the frame, looking at her intently, as she continues to stare.. at the picture, her eyes downcast....

Uncomfortable, with her silence, yet sensing that he had her attention, he goes .. on..

"Gauri.. main... Gauri main , mujhse ye sach aur chupaaya nahin jaa raha tha... I had to let you know.. Gauri... maine tumhaara dil dukhaya hai....", unable to hide his tears, his voice choking..." par agar main aaj sach nahin batata... tho tumhara yakeen toot tha .... "
"Main galat tha .... main na chaahte hue bhi, is saazish mein shaamil tha....maine koshish...." stopping mid sentence...." Gauri.....agar main nahin batatha, tho.." pausing .."main khud apni nazaron mein gir jaata..."..."Main tumhare yakeen ke saath khilvaad nahin kar sakta tha..."...
"Please Gauri....main .....", he stops mid sentence, when he notices her looking at her palms...intently... , when he unable to bear the pain, closes his eyes and turns away, tears wallowing in his eyes...and slowly continues ... "Gauri, main apne karam ko taal nahin sakta... khote mujhe mein hain... main accha pati nahin hoon... ab bhi kuch nahin bigada hai...", when she slowly looks at him, making him stop mid sentence....

Overcome by guilt, and shame of having let her down, he looks her in eye, not once looking away, for now as he looks in her eye, a sense of relief passes over him, of having beared the truth...

As she looks at him.... , he slowly moves his hand , over hers and pats gently... "kuch kaho Gauri... say something...."....not once looking away from her, the tears too apparent , and unending... in his eyes and she looks back at him, her silent eyes, devoid of tears, yet watching him...

After what seemed , like the longest silence ever, Shiv manages to break it..."Gauri... " as she continues to look at him..."Chalo.. khaana khalo...", "tumne kuch khayaa nahin...."

Her refusal to move, and react and her silence, leave Shiv helpless, as he slowly... gets up... patting her hand for the last time... walks off ... as she looks down at the picture in her hand...

Edited by sareeta - 18 years ago

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Aakriti Mehta

@lil_desi_goddes

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 18 years ago

#13

Sareeta Di..

it was wonderful, made me also numb, but still brought me to tears..

it was pure magic and i still remain speechless.

please do continue!!

👏
👏
👏
👏
👏

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Sanjana

@basket

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

#14

i loved sareeta di!!!!!!!!!!!! 👏

Please cont soon!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sareeta

@sareeta

Sparkler

Posted: 18 years ago

#15

Continuation: Part 3:

Walking out of the room, he notices Nikhila walking towards the room, when he stops her..."Mom , please , Gauri ko akela chod dijiye... yeh hum dono ka maamla hai... "... teary eyed.. "Please Mom..."..

"Shiv, beta....".... Shiv raising his hand... indicating .. her to stop... as a surprised and dejected Nikhila... turns around teary eyed and walks away....

Shiv....walks over to the dinner hall, which for the first time ever was devoid of any commotion, any people , at all, the entire family seems to have retired to their rooms, dinner being served in their rooms...
Shiv walks, dejectedly towards the kitchen calling out slowly .."Dheenu Kaka..."....

Dheenu kaka approaching him..."Kaka... Gauri ke liye khaana , serve kar dijiye...wo khaana room mein khaayegi..."

"Theek hai beta... main abhi.. lekar... " .. "Kaka.. main ...".. Kaka sensing... with a fatherly look... "theek hai beta...abhi aaya.."

Back in the room.... Gauri.. is on the couch , leaning against the pillow... her eyes closed... the photo frame, still in her hands... close to her heart... like she was holding onto it for her dear life....when she hears... his footsteps... and slowly opens her eyes... and turns around....

He slowly walks in, with the plate in his hand and slowly sits by her side... placing the plate on the half burnt table next to her..."Gauri....."

She dosent look up.... "Gauri...."... he places his hand on hers ... as she slowly lifts her head....staring back into his eyes....

After a momentary stare, that conveyed their deepest feelings to each other.... he breaks the silence.... "Khaaana khaaalo..."... as she just stares back, not moving... when he points to the plate... on the table and noticing... she has moved but has gone back to staring at the picture....hesitatingly , reaches for the plate...and yet again... "Gauri.." a hint of pleading in his voice....and noticing her silence... slowly....understanding , that she wasn't refusing, takes a spoonful and moves it towards her...as she noticing the spoonful, lifts her head to notice him, looking at her blankly... and moves forward and eats it... when Shiv smiles, the uncomfortable silence having ebbed a lilttle, but yet quite apparent.....

As he continues with the next spponful , she slowly extends her hand to reach the plate... when he slowly stops her.. "Ahaaan...", and continues to feed her... and she dosent resist...

The silence prevails except for the occasional sound of spoon against the plate, ...and the cool breeze .... sawying the burnt curtains , causing a whooshing sound....

And suddenly... she looks from the picture... at his face... longingly.... and back at the picture.... "yeh...." as Shiv following her gaze looks at the picture... unable... to fanthom her reaction....as she continues to stare at it.. his face...in the picture... "yeh..." her voice unusually.. calm... and halting... and then looking up at him... "sach tha...."....

SHiv , unable to hide his pain.. "Gauri...", his pained face... giving away, his eyes moist...as she says it in a calm, controlled voice... "sach tha..." looking back at the picture... gently moving her fingers over his face in the picture...

Edited by sareeta - 18 years ago

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Sanjana

@basket

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

#16

that was soooooooooo sweet 👏

Sareeta di u r just amazing!!!!

Please COnt SOOOOOOOOOOOOON 😳

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Aakriti Mehta

@lil_desi_goddes

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 18 years ago

#17

👏
👏
👏

i really dont have words to express my feelings di..

its very heart whelming!!

please do continue!!

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Jyoti

@pm4eva

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

#18

OMG!! too good! I'm not at home at the moment and usually don't sign on when I;m not but I had to, to tell you how greta that was! Please continue soon i can't wait!!! 👏

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Sareeta

@sareeta

Sparkler

Posted: 18 years ago

#19

Continuation: Part 4:

Shiv, unable to see her pain, placing the plate on the table, holds her by the shoulders gently.... "Gauri...."... as she continues to murmur , to herself.... "sach tha... yeh... sab.... ", fondly holding the frame... moving her fingers over his face in the picture..."maine kahaa tha.. kismat ko aasmaaongi...., yeh sab...." murmuring, almost inaudible, shiv barely able to catch a few words...."kismat ko aasmaaongi..."... "Gauri.. look at me... Gauri....." gripping her gently by the shoulders.... as she refuses to look up... staring at the picture...

Shiv, hesitates and then holding her face....running his hands through her hair , removing the strands from her face... "Gauri....dekho... look at me.... " a lil more firmly... never raising his voice...." yeh sab sach tha... par ...." when gauri looks up... at him... the sadness in her eyes evident... the pain ... overwhelming...piercing his heart, as he fumbles for words, unable to continue, the pain in her eyes killing him ....

"Badi ma..." she utters... softly... her voice trembling.... but not a tear in her eyes... "shashaaank.....wo .....phone....."..... her voice fades... and her body gives away, going limp as he still holds her by the shoulders... her eyes close .. as her head rests on his arm...

"Gauri..." patting her on the cheek... "Gauri.."...the worried tone too evident in his voice...quickly splashing her a lil water from the glass... continues to call out her name... gently... when she resting unconcious,on his shoulder now, slips and rests against his chest... as he struggles... to wake her.... and then slowly helps her ... rest on the bed, while he grabs a chair and sits by her... watching her... as she drifts into sleep.... he lost in thought...

Slowly, he drifts into sleep as well in the chair and wakes with a start....hearing the rattle of window panes, and looking afore , sees Gauri and gets a determined look on his face.. One last look at her... and around the room.... walks out slowly..determined.. but pained nevertheless....

Edited by sareeta - 18 years ago