Nice to see you here Medha!
I want to drop in a few points focusing SOLELY about the show and not anything off-screen related because I rather stay away from those things right now. It's haunting to say the least.
When we join a forum or any online medium where you are open to sharing and expressing your personal views and ideologies, there really are only two thing which one should keep in mind; respect and honesty. This is a virtual world. We know nothing about each other apart from our fancy and innovative usernames. Yes we may grow a fond bond with each other as time progresses and we may carry that friendship on outside of any forum or blog, but those matters come at a later stage. Initially, it's just you, your username, your words and how you present them to the other people which will become your virtual identity.
Usually, there would be two reasons why you would make a post on a public forum like IF. The first would be if you would like to appreciate or acknowledge a certain character, episode or scene from the show. And second would be if you would like to critique the show on the basis of why you didn't appreciate something, didn't approve of it or why you felt so disconnected. Anyone's and everyone's views can contradict, clash and differ. But by all means, who gives us the license to personally critice and/or judge the person on the basis of his/her words? Who gives you the control to so inconveniently pull out derogtative worded arguments and make a personal issue out of this whole episodic discussion? I find no other word in my word-list apart from WRONG. That's just morally wrong.
This is a public forum. No one is allowed to control your right of speech here. But how hard is it to have a conversation whilst ensuring no personally disgracing boundaries are crossed when you are having an episodic conversation. Be it an appreciative or criticism post, relevant and contextually correct arguments should always be welcome. But just because we have the access to a public forum, it by all means gives us NO right to make anything here personally subjective. This is a virtual world. You do NOT know enough about the person on the other side of the computer. If they have not exceeded their limits, you should be well aware not to either.
Furthermore, note before I had started writing this post, I had actually clarified that this post is solely in reference to the show and it's "reel" issues related. There is a reason for that. Can I please clarify here. Supporting a character or their notions and actions "on-screen", DOES NOT make you a blind fan of that actor. Heck what are even these tags like "Parth lover" & "Niti Admirer". This is a show. A show is not about a female lead and a male lead. It's about their story, their connect, emotions, side actors and their stories. It's about camera angles and shots.It's about story-writing. It's about lighting, execution, direction, overall editing. A show is about whether a fan feels the connect with a fictional story and/or the characters or not. Then how in the whole world does a critiquing discussion about why Nandini wasn't portrayed as real or an appreciating post about why Manik's anger was justified, is always made into an off-screen matter? We know Niti and Parth because we've connected to them as Nandini and Manik. That. Is. All. There really is no need to connect irrelevant dots here and there about how off-screen liking and disliking connects to off-screen approval and disapproval.
Furthermore, let's say for the sake of a hypothetical situation that a person has made an appreciative post for Nandini, on what basis do you judge and justify that the person loves Niti more than Parth? She is talking about the story. The episode. How Nandini's eyes were so deep and emotional and it reinforced the idea of how hurt she was. - How does a statement like that automatically perceive this person to be a Niti lover? If our inner-consciousness holds such telepathic powers, please do enlighten me as well because I think it'd help me out in the future too.
Carrying on this argument of Parth vs Niti. So what is the problem here? Why one must be so damn harsh with their words for someone who has a soft corner for one actor rather than the other. Actors are there to entertain fans. If one likes the work of the other more or prefers one as a person over the other, why do we have to be so hell-bound to prove ourselves as to why their choice is wrong and ours is right? Oh right...I forgot. This is a virtual world where we define our own bounds and limits. There's no fear. No shame. It's all about our freedom, rights and speech.
Everyone. Seriously. Let it be.
I was a late comer to this forum. Wasn't a part of it since the beginning of this show. But I've had enough exposure to know what this forum once used to be and what it is now. Some things have changed. For the worse, trust me. And some things remain the same.
This place doesn't remain one for any honest and respectful conversations. Sometimes there is scope. But most the time - it's just simple fear and exhaustion. I flick through posts where most ending statements are "no bashing please" or "bashers are not welcome". Why? Because there remains no trust amongst this fandom or any trust within ourselves that posts and threads will not be criticised, judged or "bashed" for all the odd reasons.
I had once said to someone that never fear of expressing your words. Open communication is the only way you can survive a virtual world. And here I stand today, witnessing the definition of 'open communications' evolving in front of my eyes as a means to personally judged, ridicule and criticise someone on the basis of their likes and dislikes. I wish I could say here that perhaps silence is the only way to survive this virtual world.
As I leave, I'd say one last thing. Don't use your words as weapons to belittle someone's inner-consciousness. Because when you start mocking others' individuality, ideologies and personal upbringing on the basis of their words, you groom your words to be not your strength, but your weakness. One day, your own words to someone, will question your own identity.
