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DAY 59! - ASSURE!
EDIT: OMG how can I forget!! It felt purely amazing to hear Ishq bulaava being played for MaNan again today...revived so many memories, so many of their previous eye-locks. Their journey just seems to be getting more and more beautiful with time because just when they think they can't love each other more than how much they already do, both of them start heading on another journey and they always end up falling in love and discovering a new depth of their love time after time!
Ask him once Nandini or ask him for the millionth time..."Kya mai itni buri dikh rahi hoon?" and he'll always assure you that you're the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. Be it even when you wear a frown or even if you're fuming in anger the beauty that lays within your innocence, your simplicity, your purity and your honesty is what he falls for minute after minute.
He's assured you that he'll wait for as long as its needed. That he'll even wait for hamesha if that's what his true love will require, but he needs your smile to be able to wait for that long. He needs for you to grin a little so it isn't that painful to spend every moment without you. He needs for a beam of glee to spread across your face for just one moment, and he assures you that his smile will return to, his days will lighten up as well, he will feel alive again.
But no pressure. No stress. Take the time you require. All his time belongs to you anyway. For now...he promises to smile at least once a day. For now...he promises to smile a smile on your behalf too. For now...he promises to smile just enough for the both of you. You need not to express how hard you're trying. You need not to explain how difficult it all is at this stage. He's learnt the art of reading your eyes like an open book. Your eyes assure him today that you fought another battle this morning with yourself, just to come to college once again. Why? "Mere liye"...
You're trying...and for that he'll always remain thankful to you. You're gathering all your inner-courage to learn how to walk again...for him...towards him...and he assures you in return, that he won't let you fall. That it'll all be worth fighting for at the end. You're confronting all your fears, be it the touch, be it the scarring memories, be it the indelible echoes of the night...and he assures you that he will calm you with his words of comfort whenever you flinch, gasp, jump or shudder in fright. "Relax"...he assures you Nandini...he will let no harm touch you again. He will banish ever seed of fear growing in your inner-consciousness.
"Once more"... It wasn't needed. The bull's eye was missed, yet the target was hit! That...I can assure!
Nandini...you leaped a big step towards home today. Like he had said yesterday "Kal jo hoga, woh better hoga"...
Today was your day to assure him. To assure him that his time, his patience, his wait is healing you. To assure him that his smile, his courage, his positivity is helping to blur away the horrific images off the past. To assure him that his love, his care, his warmth is alleviating the throbbing uneasiness. To assure him that his trust, his faith, his hope is shining enough to engulf every inch of darkness hindering your mind's ability to think.
"Manik...mujhe sikhao na"..."Manik...come" for you it may just have been one line Nandini...but for him, those six words seemed to return him to a breathing state. Stunned. Overwhelmed. Amazed.
You gave him a new reason to hope today Nandini. He's always known your love to be unconditional, to be strong, to be courageous enough to win any one of his battle. But today..today your words assured him that his love holds the same audacity. Your words gifted him a new strength today, the strength to fight harder, to hope larger, to love greater.
"Nandini...you okay na? Sure?" His hands still tremble however. His fingers still hesitant to break their promise. His heart fearful that you may flinch at his touch again. That his warmth may rewind some unpleasant memories for you. His whispering questions want to assure you that you are under no kind of obligation. That his love will never force you to take a decision against your own will. His warmth sustains its distance from your warmth because he wants to assure you that your need will always be of foremost priority for him.
But you assure him...with a firm nod, welcoming his soft touch to where he's missed being for the last few days; the home amidst your fingers. You assure him...with your gentle grip on his other hand, that you recognise his touch to be your own. You assure him that his touch, needs to not fear any more. You assure him that you understand his needs too.
"Now look straight into the bull's eye"...you know he's missed your gaze too. He's missed the way your love-filled eyes lock themselves in the depth of his eyes. He's missed being able to see the love that is stored in your heart for him through your eyes. And today...you gifted him everything that's he's missed...
Your bull's eye...you goal...your destination...it's to return back home to him. Today you assured him that the distances are closing, that his wait is lapsing, that his hope is winning. Today you assured him that his patience is healing you. Today you assured him that his steps are helping you walk again. Today you assured him that his eyes are assisting you in re-discovering yourself again. Today you assured him that his words are helping you believe the mind again. Today you assured him that his love is making you fall in love...with him...again.
Friendship had it's say in assurances too today. "Sach mai bataa...did I ever...ever... overshadow you?"
For Manik...it'll never be about himself. It'll never be about his pain, his happiness, his tears, his worries. For him...they; his family will always matter more. For him...she; his love will always matter the most.
The brotherhood...it's been missed, By both the brothers, by me and maybe by you too. But today the younger brother assured him, that no...he'll be fine. He assured him that no...he never overshadowed him. He assured him that no...the previous mistakes will never be repeated again. He assure him that no...this time, he wants Manik to worry about himself, to think about himself rather than him. He assured him that no...never...they will never tread on separate paths again. But this time...he's assured of it himself, that he will miss his brother just as much as his brother will miss him.
Many assurances were showered upon Manik today. Love promised it's own assurances and friendship hugged a number of assurances too.
Yet my heart is already sinking...my eyes are already tearing up. Who will assure him tomorrow when he will be in need of these assurances the most? Who will hold him when he crumbles for the nth time tomorrow in a lonely space. Who will assure him that no...she didn't leave because she doesn't love you any more, she left because she feels no affection for herself any more. Who will pluck the shattered pieces of his heart the way she used to and assure him that this is all just a bad dream and he needs not to fear the darkness. Who will wipe those tears that will spring involuntarily down his eyes and assure him that you mustn't cry because your tears will weaken her even more. Who will shake him awake from his shocked state, like he had done to her a few days ago and assure him that no...you can't shatter, you can't lose hope, you just can't lose because then her chances of finding herself will term zero.
However more than anything...there will be one assurance that he will be in need of the most tomorrow... that even though she may be leaving tomorrow, but when she will return with him...to him, to his SPACE, to his mumbai again...this time it will be for "hamesha"...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So what do I say about the episode...so breathtakingly beautiful! A perfect balance between love and friendship and hence it was such a fulfilling episode for me. From Manik's attempts to imitate the sad emoji, to Nandini's attempt of making her Manik smile...everything just flowed so naturally. And well that eye-lock...*sighhh* my MANAN PHEELS going to be the death of me someday! 😆
I didn't talk about it in the response as such, but Harshad's attempt to "assure" Cavya of his changed state of mind was a rather nice scene too because it's kind of building the basis of how Cavya are going to tackle every obstacle that comes in their way...together. Poor Harshad baby just doesn't realise the strength of Cavya's friendship yet so it'll be interesting to see how eventually all his efforts will go to vain. I do think though...that there are chances that the goodness in Navya make overpower her hatred for Harshad and she may even start feeling like she should believe him but it will be then when Cabir will protect her and save her from falling in his traps again.
Dhruv I exceptionally liked today... he's gotten the opportunity to do something for his brother; Manik today and so he wants to assure him of their brother-like friendship which will remain like this forever and has decided to protect him from his own worries, struggles and dilemma today. His character is finally treading on the right path of self-growth and what a beautiful first step he has taken. His first step that he's taken for himself is what he's learnt from his brother himself...to just spread love and happiness. He's seen Manik always do the most for every one else and never care about his own sufferings and problems, and today after bringing the smiles on everyone's face...he wishes to fight his battles himself and keep his problems to himself.
That hug...I didn't think I would've said it this early especially seeing how frustrated I was with Dhruv's character a few weeks ago...but surprisingly it gave me just the right amount of feels.
Tomorrow's episode...oh god...I think I need to have my tissue box ready...
EDIT: OMG how can I forget!! It felt purely amazing to hear Ishq bulaava being played for MaNan again today...revived so many memories, so many of their previous eye-locks. Their journey just seems to be getting more and more beautiful with time because just when they think they can't love each other more than how much they already do, both of them start heading on another journey and they always end up falling in love and discovering a new depth of their love time after time!
It's almost like they journey has started again...the journey of discovering true love all over again...
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