I want to lose some weight
John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.
Signs and notices
In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"
On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."
Question and answer
: Where does a blackbird go for a drink?A: To a crow bar.
Answering machine message 138
enjoy.................