Deathbed!

Old Abe, a lifelong penny pincher, is lying on his deathbed.
"Is my wife, Dora, here?" he asks, with a tremble in his voice.
"I'm here, dear," replies Dora.. "I'm right next to you."
"Are the children with you, Dora?" asks Abe, barely able to speak.
"Yes, Daddy, we're all here," say the children, sobbing.
"What about my relatives?" inquires Abe. "How many of them bothered to turn up?"
"They're all here," replies Dora, "Every one of them."
"So my entire family is right here in the room?" asks Abe.
"That's right, dear." says Dora, reassuringly – at which point, Abe sits up and yells,
"Then why the **** is the light still on in the kitchen?"