*FUN POSTS*

PART - I

News Hour Tonight!

Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome to Frankly Speaking...sorry.. Frankly Shouting with Arnaab !!!

Tonight, We have with us, a very special guest ! No word of praise would justify her talent...She is the Back bone of the Great(?) King..( Mind voice - Has he got a backbone?)...Without any further delay, Let me Introduce to the viewers...

THE MOST GORGEOUS & THE COURAGEOUS LADY FROM 16TH CENTURY,

JODHA BEGHUM

Arnaab : Welcome Jodha Beghum!

Jodha Beghum : Ji Shukriya !

Yes Jodha Beghum, Tell us the Truth! The nation wants to know...

Arnaab : What is the color of your vomit?

Is it white?

Blue?

Green?

Brown?

Red?

Arnaab : Which one is right Jodha Beghum? Nation wants to know!

Jodha Beghum : All are right ArnaabJi !

Arnaab : ???

Jodha : I am so happy...I puke Rainbows!

FANS REACTION

WOW! What a beautiful vomit!!!

yes yehi hai jalal ki pyari nigar apaa ka perfect match..

abhi mujhey samajh aaya iski entry ka main reason asal mein sabke pass partners hai show mein yahan tak ki MC ke paas bhi bas koi akeli reh gayi to vo hai jalal ki pyari nigar apaa jo ki nainsaafi hai nigar apaa ke sath to isisliye cvs ne ab nigar apaa ke sath insaaf kar diya ..

Issey sabse zyada khish urmila hogi todar mal ki wife ki uska husband ab safe hai

congratulations nigar aapa

Jalal : Hume bataiye voh Kon tha bataiye jodha begum bataiye

Jodha : shocked n silent

Jalal : aap bolti kyu nahi kahiye kon tha voh jisne apko chune ki gustakhi ki hai ye haak (right) toh apne hume bhi nahi diya toh us admine apko chua kaise Hume toh SR manane nahi deti salim bechara kabh ayega India forum vale toh pagal hogaye pridiction karte hue unhe hamara hand consummation pas and hai magar abh voh usse bore hogaye unhe hamari suhaag raat dekhni hai abh baas abh toh me salim chisti baba joh kaha voh such korunga apko MUZ banake hi rahunga I WANT SR I WANT SR SR SR SR CHAHIYE SALIM EK PYARA ...

Jodha : sharam she lal aur gussa bhi ... Aap ne humpar shak kiya apne humpar shak kiya baas bohot hua ekto hum sirf apki Jaan ki phikr k vajehse sujamal bhaisa Milne gaye air apne samjha ki hum ... Ahhh !!! Kya karahe hai haat chodiye humara dard hota hai ..

Jalal : Mauff kijiye begum jodha humto sirf apse puchrahe the ki SALIM KABH MILEGA SR SR SR CHAHIYE...

Jodha : he bhagvan inhe kya hua hai thik salim dungi magar ek shart pe ..

Jalal : excited for SR ... BUT TENSED FOR SHART boliya

Jodha : humari shart ye hai ki... Aapne hampar shak kiya Iski saza ye hogi ki apko SR AAJ HI MANANI HOGI...

Jalal : Oh Teri ye saza toh jhakaas hai abhi chale

Jodha : Raat toh hone dijiye phirrr Dhinka chinka Dhinka Chika re aaa re aaa ...

Guyzz this was time pass just to make you all laugh hope I'm successful in making u at least smile pua forum spoilers ki vjeh se dukhi hai so thought of fun post guyz is story ko agge badhao GM thoughts k saath

Edited by aditeeparijat83 - 6 years ago

Jo: did u find the letter rahim?

R: m so mad at u ammijaan...how can u ask me to do work without giving me kajur?

JO: plz forgive me rahim ll give u lots of kajur if u find me that letter

Jalal: rahim i heard that u dint find the letter still?dont u want to play with sheiku baba?

R:who is sheiku baba?

Jallu:sheiku baba is a boy like you..dint ammijaan tell u bot him? ryt now he cant come unless u find the letter..

Rahim :ammijaan dint tell me nethin bot him..(jo glares at jallu).dont worry ammijaan ill find the letter soon

so guys rahim is off to find the letter guess who stops him

Mayhem was hiding and listening to their convo all along and she caught rahim

M: rahim..m the postmaster of agra and until m alive i wont allow sheiku to come here *evil smile*

rahim gets scared and runs off and hides sumwhere ,even cv's are unable to find him

so that's the reason guys,the letter problem still remains unresolved

Scene 2:

meanwhile in heaven

angel:sheiku,i've got a good news for you,ur mom and dad are getting closer..

S:so itz time for me to give an entry..

A:sheiku,no itz not time yet,ur abbu and ammi are getting close but

s:but wat?

A:SR dint happen still,apparently ur abbu is still affected by the letter incident.

S: so wat send a dream message to my bro rahim he will find it

A: thats where the problem lies,the enemy of ur mom is not allowing ur bro to find the letter

S:who is it?

A:maham anga

(sheiku gets angry)

A: so watz ur next order,sheiku baba

S:uska sar kalam kar do..

plz like and comment

Edited by hans1 - 6 years ago

Scene1: adham khan in his room

Adham khan:ammi jaan ne shivani ke love letter jalal ko dikhaye nahi kyun aakhir kyun ammi jaan...haan hum ek kaam kartey hain kyun na hum hi vo saare khat jalal ko dikha dey phir aayega asali mazza...

Or adham MA ke room mein jaata hai..

Adham:-khuda ka shukra hai ammi jaan abhi apne hojre mein nahi hai ab hum aaram se vo saare khat chura ke jalal ko de aayengey..

Adham:yipeee humey khat mil gaye......ek min. Ye to vo khat nahi hai phir ye kaise khat hain ...ammi jaan ammi jaan ne kisko khat likhey zara dekhen to..

..

Mere pyaare ataga khan ji kaise hain aap... aapki bohot yaad aati hai aakhi kab tak hum aise chup chupke miltey rahengey..aapko jab bhi dekhtey hain to kuch kuch hota hai dil mein...tabhi to jalal ka brainwash kartey hain taaki uska dhyaan sirf jodha begum pe rahey or humari secret mulakaton ka unhey na pata chaley...

aaj raat ko miliyega wahin humarey secret place pe store room mein aapke liye ye song humari taraf se

Aaa jaane jaa...aaa mera ye husn jawan jawan tere liye hai aas lagaye or jaalim aa jana...

Adham:errr atagaaa...aaa...aaa...aaa..

Scene 2: adham gussey mein ataga khan ke paas jaata hai

Adham:ataga aaj nahi chodunga tujhey teri itni himmat humari ammi jaan pe line maarne ki himmat kaise ki tune..

Ataga khan :vo vo vo hum vo..

Bechara ataga bhagne ki koshish karta hai but adham uska murder kar deta hai...

Scene 3

Soldier :shehensha adham khan ne ataga khan sahab ka khoon kar diya hai or ab harem mein ghuss aaya

Jalal: kya...adham khan..

Scene 4

Jalal nd adham fight scene ..

or adham haar jata hai

Jalal:gustaakh teri ye himmat tune humare waalid ka darja rakhne waale insaan ko maar dala..

arey ek vo hi to tha jiskey bharosey main puri riyaasat ka kaam dhaam chod ke apne harem mein khoya rehta tha......ab bata kiske bharose hum sultanat chodey ...kaam karne waaley insaan ko to maar diya tune ab humey kaam karna padega ya khuda ...humari kuch madad kijiye..

jalal:sipahiyon is gustaakh ko utha ke sir ke bal mahal ki chatt se neechey phek diya jaaye...

adham ka kaam tamam ...or ataga khan ke mar jaane ke gum mein maham bhi guzar jaati hai..

Edited by -ambrosia- - 6 years ago

Disclaimer : Sole purpose of post is for everyone to have fun. Please take it light-heartedly. Hope u'll like it.

Im sure everyone knows this famous dialogue from the film Deewaar "mere paas maa hai"

So,here is my take on the same.

Imagine,someone says this to the characters of JA "mere paas paisa hai,bangla hai gaadi hai,tumhaare paas kya hai?"

This is how these people reply

Adham : mere paas bandhiyan hain

Maham : Mere paas 10000 tonne kaajal hai

Resham : Mere paas 360 degree rotate karnewaali mundi(head) hai

Ruqaiya : Mere paas hukkah hai ( I love you though Ruq )

Hamida : Mere paas colgate hai

Javeeda : Mere paas pink colour ka suit hai

Menavati : Mere paas aansu(tears) hain

Jodha: Mere paas shahenshah hain

Jalal is caught off-guard,he embraces her and then says...

Jalal : "Mere paas Jodha Begum hain "

and then he looks at Benazir and asks her "Tumhaare paas kya hai Benazir?"

Benazir : Mere paas green vomit hai

Jalal orders her sarr ka kalam since the vomit was contagious and was spreading deadly diseases

Edited by disha15 - 6 years ago

This is just a fun post. Pandey gets on my nerves,most of the time. But when he doesn't,he is like a comedian to me ____________

Jalal : Ramtanu Pandey ji,aapki maushaki shuru kee jaaye

Pandey : Nahi,mausam kuch theek nahi hai maushaki ke liye

after the mausam became favourable..

Jalal : Ab toh maushaki shuru kardo 7 saal beet gaye,Jodha begum ne 10,000 lectures diye,badi ammi ne 500 kilo kaajal khatam kar diya,Moti ne 12 baar plastic surgery karke chehra badal diya

Pandey : Nahi,mera maun vrat hai

Jalal : ek aur baar bakwaas kiya,toh hum tumhe pinjre mein bandh kardenge

Benazir enters the darbar..

Pandey's expression seeing her..

Pandey(sings in his MIND): Aali re aali ek beauty, Bajaave haaye pandey jii seethi...

Pandey(in his mind) : Ab toh hum pinjre mein zaroor jaayenge. Iss sundari ka nivaas pinjra jo hai

Jalal : muh bandh karo,nahi toh machchar chala jaayega

Pandey : Humein pinjre mein daalo

Jalal(in his mind) : Ab samaj mein aa raha hai,Agra ka Paagal khaana kyun khola gaya tha Saare paagal mere aas paas hi kyun bhatakte hain

Meanwhile,Pandey...

Jalal : Bandh kardo isse pinjre mein!

Pandey excited that he'll be locked up with Benazir...

Jalal had something else in mind though.

Pandey's eyes are covered until he is inside the pinjra

When he opened his eyes,he found..

Jalal : And thats a Checkmate

Mujhse panga loge,toh yahi hoga

_________

Edited by disha15 - 6 years ago

So guys , forum me thodi besharmi honi he chahea warna pata kesay chale ga ... k gutter minds are here as well so presenting SR ZEE RISHTEY KE MANCH PER ...

Jodha enters the room smiling

Jalal bichara apne aap ko sambhal he nahe paya aur Jump mar le

Jodha : Aye bhagwaan tera lakh lakh shukar ke akhir yeh raat aa he gae

Jalal ko sharam ae

Baad me Jodha ko

Nazdeekhiyan shuru

Uhhh ahhh uhhh aahhh shururrr

Bade thak gaye hum Jodha Begum ITni mehnat kla kaarm ker wa diya aap ne

Koi baat nhe Shehnesha .. thank u sooo much

Jalal: badi ammi jodha ne humey ye letter bheja hai ...aap to jaanti hai hum padh likh nahi saktey to kya aap padh ke suna degi humey

Maham:humey to ye sab padhte huey sharam aa rahi hai jalal kaise padhey..

Jalal:aapko sharam bhi aati hai badi ammi??..

Maham:jalal ye kya bol rahey hai aap kya yehi hai aapka doodh ka karz ..

Jalal:badi ammi plz. Aap apna doodh karz kisi or din le lena abhi letter padhiye plz.

Maham:acha padhtey hain begum jodha likhti hain ki..

Shehensha ji ab hum aapko kaise bataye ki hum aape fida ho chuke hain humara dil aapki hotiness ka gulam ban chuka hai ab hum aapko kaise kahey ki humara mann kitna tadap raha hai aapke saath suhagraat manane ko ek baar humare kheme mein to aayiye phir dikhangey hum aapko ki aapki ye bhaghin ka junglipan ..ye ek gana bhi aapke liye

Subh honey na de saath khoney na de ek dusre ko hum sone na de tu mera hero...

Aasha kartey hain is gaane se aap humara ishara samajh gaye hongey to jaldi aaiye shehensha hum aapka inezaar kar rahey hain..taaki jaldi se jaldi aapko salim de sakey..

Jalal:kya?? Kya?? Kya (in ekta style)..

Kahin hum sapna to nahi dekh rahey badi ammi..aaj to humara mahino purana sapna sach ho jaayega jab se jodha ko dekha bas yehi sapna to dekhtey they humm aaj vo sach ho jaayega hum bohot khush hain badi ammi hum abhi jaatey hai jodha ke paass ..yahooo yipeee...aahhh hhh ahhh ahhhooo hooo

Aaahhh huuu aahhhaaa

Maham:ye kaise awaaz nikal rahey hai aap jalal...

Jalal:aap nahi samjhengi badi ammi hum aapne aanewaali raat ke liye abhi se practice kar rahey hain

Jodha got a gift from Jalal

Jodha Begam's B'day celebrations...Come on everyone! Let's dance!

Jodha is pregnant!!!!

Jodha: If Shahenshah did not do anything then how did she become pregnant? (Let's see what it says in the books)

Hamida Begam

Thinking on taking the baby to park and all the fun they could have

Jalal when everyone congratulated him

Adham thinking he will remain as a slave forever

Jodha and Jalal misunderstand each other

This is me, thinking what will happen next

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