NOVEL~*Hiding behind a Stranger*~Thread 11 - Chapter 16 - UPD 22nd SEP

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Ash67

@Ash67

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

#291

Dear Lashy,

What a lovely treat this one is! I do not have words nor any desire to analyse this dream of a chapter!

So only in fun -

The scorpion scene brought back memories of Mohini 2 in the Amer track 😉 although the resemblance (thankfully) ended there! (Shant Sandy sa Shant! 😉 ) In the case of our Sahib and Sahiba, dono taraf hai aag barabar ki lagi hui!!

The sahib reminds again of Karna - who silently suffered excruciating pain so as not to disturb his guru Parashuram's sleep and was cursed by the latter for pretending to be someone he was not. Here too the Sahiba wonders about who he is and though it will be a blow when she knows, we are secure in your promised distaste of tragedies😊

Warmest 🤗

Ashwinee

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Ash67

@Ash67

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

#292

Dear Divya,

Your review is as much a treat as Lashy's writing! Loved it!

Warmest🤗

Ashwinee

Originally posted by: divyavm
Writer-e-khaas,

First and foremost, I loved the poem in the beginning - a beautiful reminder to all of us that its not what we fear that is the issue, it is our fear itself that comes in our way. A misleadingly peaceful start to the chapter, almost lulling me to a meditative state that Harka was in before the snap of the branches alerted her and me both back to reality.

Every chapter you seem to outdo yourself in a different way ... if the last chapter unfolded like the card game that was being played in it, this chapter seemed to capture multiple layers of complexity and symbolism beneath the surface of the scorpion and its attack. These layers beneath l felt reflected not only the story itself but also the mindset of our leads Harka and Akbar as well.

So, the theme of my take is "Beneath the Surface" , with an initial focus on the scorpion.

1. Danger was the consistent theme across the chapter ... but what was this danger? That is what took some twists and turns throughout. With that snap of the branches, Akbar enters the scene with an immediate concern of Harka being alone and for her safety. He was worried about the threat of tribals and wild animals ... and what emerged was something he did not immediately expect, the scorpion.

It made me think - Akbar knows the dangers surrounding Harka but even then will Akbar himself find himself facing a different danger than he expected? A surprising sting attack he is not prepared for to save Harka from in the future? Hmmm. (Here, I say "hmmm" before you would as I know you won't disclose.)

2. And in parallel, the other underlying current was Harka not knowing the danger behind her throughout the chapter, while Akbar knew. This clearly mirrored the fact that Harka did not know the dangers around her and this reflection came to the forefront when she felt the irony when she told Bajrang that she didn't know of the danger till Akbar observed it. This irony was not for the scorpion alone, it was of her life as well and lingered with her as Akbar left telling her to be safe as a warning.

3. Further, this adversary (the scorpion) is a bit more challenging for Akbar to face then usual and takes him more time than one would expect, as Harka playfully observes.

This foreshadows that his current challenge in wanting to save Harka will likely be his biggest and lengthiest challenge yet with Khalil, Mahendar, and his mentor Shehzaade in his way. No surprises here but still the scorpion was a worthy battle run before the war ahead.

4. And perhaps one of the most interesting moments I found was, despite Akbar having covered his hand carefully, the scorpion managed to find a bare spot to sting.

This seemed to suggest that in the future despite how prepared Akbar thinks he is and feels he has covered all bases in protecting Harka, the enemy will find a chink in the armor somewhere. Hmmm.

5. And last but not least, was how Akbar took Harka's pain with the poison of the scorpion bite. Better him than her, he felt.

It only brings to question what other pain Akbar will take upon himself in the future to save Harka?

And so, beautifully writer-e-khaas you almost re-create the story at hand with the scorpion attack.

But the scorpion attack was not the only thing that had more beneath the surface. The duality of each of these moments with the scorpion seemed to reflect the duality of the minds and hearts of our leads:

Harka- what a mix of emotions she had: Starting with medititative to alert with the snap of the branches to amused with the concern Akbar was expressing. At times she could guess exactly what Akbar was thinking (like he was planning to wait near his horse) and at other times she was left completely puzzled or incorrect, not understanding the complex state of Akbar's mind. And under her composure was a fluttering stronger than ever before, that only increased as Akbar's breath came closer to her near her ear. In the end, she was left mixed between the comfort she felt with this new stranger as well as the sense of danger from his actions, words, and warnings.

And Akbar was not far behind in his mixed state of mind and heart- His concern for Harka came instinctly to his lips but he didn't want to come across overreacting. He naturaly played along with her games but wasn't used to being baited. Under what Harka observed as "business like" demeanor was one of the biggest fights he was fighting with his emotions for Harka.

And his biggest fight of all was between his loyalties to his Shehzaade and his protectiveness towards Harka. His words said that a 10 days acquantance would not win over 10 years of loyalty. However, his heart said it all as he felt relief as the scrolls that could incriminate Harka were burned and he did nothing to stop them from burning though his loyalties to Shehzaade should have made his hand instinctively save at least a few letters. I think this foreshadows how Akbar will be making decisions moving forward as well...

Thanks so much for another engaging chapter writer-e-khaas - I was drawn into the multiple layers that it took me a while to even figure out what I wanted to write my take on. Hope I captured the pulse of the chapter correctly but feel free to point out where I am off.

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divyavm

@divyavm

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#293

Originally posted by: Ash67
Dear Lashy,
What a lovelytreat this one is! I do not have words nor any desire to analysethis dream of a chapter!

So only in fun -

The scorpion scenebrought back memories of Mohini 2 in the Amer track😉although the resemblance (thankfully) ended there! (Shant Sandy saShant! 😉) In the case of our Sahib and Sahiba, donotarafhai aag barabar ki lagihui!!

The sahib remindsagain of Karna - who silently suffered excruciating pain so as not to disturb his guru Parashuram's sleep and was cursed by the latter for pretending to be someone he was not. Here too the Sahiba wonders about who he is and though it will be a blow when she knows, we are secure in your promised distaste of tragedies😊

Warmest🤗

Ashwinee

Ashwinee,

A great point about Karna here - His ability to withstand pain revealed himself as a warrior and here Harka felt the same by seeing how Akbar handled the pain. Also, Akbar's mental fight between his loyalties to Shehzaade and Harka is like the bind Karna had with Duryodhana. But, Akbar is a bit ahead as he is already leaning towards Harka by burning the scrolls.

Thanks much for the kind words about my take! I am glad you liked it.

Best,

Divya

Edited by divyavm - 9 years ago

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binduprasad41

@binduprasad41

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#294

Originally posted by: karkuzhali

Story time for the Kids.

( It is story time for Baby Sarasa and Babloo. Grandma comes there to fulfil her duty.)



Baby: What are you going to tell us grandma?
G'ma: What story do you want? Shall I tell you Krishna's story?
Babloo: Grandma, you already told us Krishna story.. you said that his mother brought him from Jail hospital.. I want a new story..
Baby: Grandma, everyday you read new stories..tell us about them..
Babloo: I want Lashy'kka's story. It has got a prince riding a horsie..
Baby: There is a pretty 16 year old girl in it ..
Babloo: Old girl?!!?
G'ma: No a young girl..poor thing.. She has enemies.
Babloo: Poor girl? She has no money?
G'ma: No..no.. She has lot of money..
Babloo: Then how can she be poor.. She must be rich..
Baby: Okay, tell us the story grandma.. what does the girl do?
G'ma: Her parents died and she had nobody except her elder sister..
Baby: How old was she grandma, Was she also pretty? and what is her name?
G'ma: Yes she was very pretty and intelligent also..her name was Durga..and she would ride a horse..
Babloo: Is that horsie Bahadur? But it is a boy horsie.. how can a girl ride on it.?
G'ma: It was not Bahadur, but she can ride any horse..
Baby: What about her sister... can she ride on a horse?
G'ma: No..Heera had an accident once and she became a little blind.. So she could not ride..
Baby: Is Heera her name? She became blind?
Babloo: Was she wearing glasses like you, grandma?
G'ma: In those days people wore no glasses kutties..
Baby: Poor thing , how does she read?
G'ma: She uses lens..
Baby: And then what happened?
G'ma: And then one day thieves came to their house and killed the elder sister Durga..
Babloo: Grandma, don't tell me scary stories..I am afraid..
Baby: And then?
G'ma: And then.. Heera escaped from there and started to go to her uncle's house..
Baby: Alone?
G'ma: No.. She took some friends and soldiers with her..
Babloo: Who is a soldier grandma?
Baby: Babloo kutty..Soldiers fight for our country...
Babloo: How did she go? Did she go walking?
Baby: No .. don't you remember?..grandma said that she went by Dooly.
G'ma: So they travelled for two days and reached a place..and took rest.
Babloo: And after that what happened?
G'ma: She went to a temple to pray..
Babloo: Rama Temple or Krishna Temple?
G'ma: Lashy akka didn't say about it..
Baby: Did she pray there?
G'ma: Yes.. and you know what happened.. Suddenly a scorpion came to sting her..
Babloo: Then?..
G'ma: A young man came there and caught hold of the creature and threw it away..
Baby: How brave he is..
Babloo: What is a scorpion grandma? Is it big as the tiger Mohan?
G'ma: No it is a small creature, but is very poisonous..If it stings, people will die..
Baby:Oh!
Babloo: Why did it want to sting her? Is it her enemy?😲
Baby: Then did the man and Heera become friends?
Babloo: What is his name Grandma?
G'ma: Akbar..
Babloo: Akbar uncle? Did Jodha Aunty come with him?😕


Karkuzhali.
Good Night!

Awesome post aunty
babloo want to hear lashy Di story
but poor kid little scare
love their reaction

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Durgeshnandini

@Durgeshnandini

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#295

You have already heard(read) it all hundreds of times, but once again, dear Author, this chapter was splendid!! What made it more so enthralling, is yet another interesting point, with earnest simplicity... emotional twists... and selfless concerns... as the basic ingredients, you've pointed out something significant and poignant - there is no choice between good or bad in this world, we've to choose from the... bad, worse, and worst.

Of Serpent and Scorpion...

Unbeknown to the lurking danger, partially blind to the ungratefulness that prevailed around... she sits on the steps of a Shrine, a haven of peace and tranquility, chanting hymns, praying and praising the ample beauty Mother Nature presented - the world so comfortable a sheath for her- yet the potent danger lurks around - it was a trouble from bad, worse, and worst!

As stealthy as a Serpent, manipulative and calm, measuring his steps and thoughts all the same - he comes. He warns her, for he is worried, he is worried, for he knows the dangers, he knows the dangers, for he is a part of the ploy - and he knows the Rules of the Game - a Game more dangerous than a Tahar, more challenging than Ganjifa... and so unsure of her safety, he stands back and waits - that is when he notices, things were going from bad, worse to worst!

She's caught up between the Good and Bad, a lethal red Scorpion (or Cupid, in disguise, as Shruti said) and a tough Protector... and the Divine intervention, of course! For the background of the Shrine, for such a significant happening shows how religious they both were deep down. And whatever they achieve in the end, they're surely going to be blessed! How beautiful of you, dearest Author!

The Just Stay Safe...

A known - unknown opponent, a never before experienced proximity and some Lashian romance - they don't touch but they feel, they don't hear but her mirth resonates in him, she baits, and the Analyser of Analysers falls for it... and thus, despite the fact, that she knows not what he combats against, she helps him out... with taunts as reassurance, smiles as confidence, and her beauty as positivity! And all this even when things take a downturn - from bad, worse to worst!

He takes up her danger, shields her from pain, smashes her opponent, and wins again! And he leaves with a parting note,

just stay safe - for the stakes are high,

just stay safe - for the enemies are strong,

just stay safe - for you is partially blind to your enemies,

just stay safe - for the Just must be kept safe and just stay safe - for me... for the things may get from bad, worse to worst!

The Burning (of) Pain...

It takes patience, to live through pain.

It takes courage to bring it back again...

It needs self-reliance to mull over your thought,

But what does it take to walk on a double edged sword?!

He thinks, ponders and engrosses into ideas... but it is not easy to lose a battle you're beginning to enjoy... to remove the friction that absolutely soothing... and to breach the trust the trust that has made you all that you are... the scorpion's poison burning his body, the poison of dilemma burning his mind. How does he discard the food that survived him all these years, for a manna from the Heavens, he had had only for a few days?!

He prays for help... and his prayers are answered... his mind cools with confession, and thoughts relaxes in submission... he realises his choices allowed over again - between bad, worse and worst... so the blessings relieve him, by setting his dilemmas ablaze. The proof against the Heiress burnt, the first testament of his treason burnt and his dilemma finally laid to rest. As the chapter closes, the curtains are pulled down... with his countenance aglow... probably with hopes for the things to turn up to good, to better (and who knows) to best someday!!!

Thank you for this update!😊

PS: Just like neepobithi aka Anindita di mentioned, the opening philosophical lines you have so beautifully penned, remind me of the poem/song by Tagore, Prarthona (Prayer) , it has similar essence :

Bipode more rokhha koro, e nohe mor prarthona,

Bipode ami na jeno kori bhoy.

(I don't pray to You, to protect me from trouble ,

Just bless me, that I am not daunted by trouble. )

Amaro bhar laghobo kori, nai ba dile shantona,

Bohite pari, shokoti jeno roy.

(Don't sympathise me by lessening my burdens,

Just bless me, that I am able to bear it on my own. )

Edited by durgeshnandini - 9 years ago

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karkuzhali

@karkuzhali

Inactive

Posted: 9 years ago

#296

My hugs for you Adwi for this wonderful write up!

Image result for picture of grandma hugging granddaughter

Originally posted by: durgeshnandini
You have already heard(read) it all hundreds of times, but once again, dear Author, this chapter was splendid!! What made it more so enthralling, is yet another interesting point, with earnest simplicity... emotional twists... and selfless concerns... as the basic ingredients, you've pointed out something significant and poignant - there is no choice between good or bad in this world, we've to choose from the... bad, worse, and worst.

An excellent observation Adwi! 👏👏

Of Serpent and Scorpion...
Unbeknown to the lurking danger, partially blind to the ungratefulness that prevailed around... she sits on the steps of a Shrine, a haven of peace and tranquility, chanting hymns, praying and praising the ample beauty Mother Nature presented - the world so comfortable a sheath for her- yet the potent danger lurks around - it was a trouble from bad, worse, and worst!

As stealthy as a Serpent, manipulative and calm, measuring his steps and thoughts all the same - he comes. He warns her, for he is worried, he is worried, for he knows the dangers, he knows the dangers, for he is a part of the ploy - and he knows the Rules of the Game - a Game more dangerous than a Tahar, more challenging than Ganjifa... and so unsure of her safety, he stands back and waits - that is when he notices, things were going from bad, worse to worst!

She's caught up between the Good and Bad, a lethal red Scorpion (or Cupid, in disguise, as Shruti said) and a tough Protector... and the Divine intervention, of course! For the background of the Shrine, for such a significant happening shows how religious they both were deep down. And whatever they achieve in the end, they're surely going to be blessed! How beautiful of you, dearest Author!
👏

The Just Stay Safe...
A known - unknown opponent, a never before experienced proximity and some Lashian romance - they don't touch but they feel, they don't hear but her mirth resonates in him, she baits, and the Analyser of Analysers falls for it... and thus, despite the fact, that she knows not what he combats against, she helps him out... with taunts as reassurance, smiles as confidence, and her beauty as positivity! And all this even when things take a downturn - from bad, worse to worst!

He takes up her danger, shields her from pain, smashes her opponent, and wins again! And he leaves with a parting note,
just stay safe - for the stakes are high,
just stay safe - for the enemies are strong,
just stay safe - for you is partially blind to your enemies,
just stay safe - for the Just must be kept safe and just stay safe - for me... for the things may get from bad, worse to worst!

The Burning (of) Pain...
It takes patience, to live through pain.
It takes courage to bring it back again...
It needs self-reliance to mull over your thought,
But what does it take to walk on a double edged sword?!
He thinks, ponders and engrosses into ideas... but it is not easy to lose a battle you're beginning to enjoy... to remove the friction that absolutely soothing... and to breach the trust the trust that has made you all that you are... the scorpion's poison burning his body, the poison of dilemma burning his mind. How does discard the food that survived him all these years, for a meal he had had only for a few days?!
Wonderful thought!

He prays for help... and his prayers are answered... his mind cools with confession, and thoughts relaxes in submission... he realises his choices allowed over again - between bad, worse and worst... so the blessings relieve him, by setting his dilemmas ablaze. The proof against the Heiress burnt, the first testament of his treason burnt and his dilemma finally laid to rest. As the chapter closes, the curtains are pulled down... with his countenance aglow... probably with hopes for the things turning up to good, to better (and who knows) to best someday!!!

Like our Lashy's story, which started good, turned better and marching on in its best!

Let it come true!
👏👏
Note the irony..The burn he experienced from the sting and the burn that reduced the scrolls to ashes, were not his choice.. but it happened.. ordained by heaven..

Thank you for your very tasty/tasteful analysis!

Aunty.
Thank you for this update!😊

Quote

binduprasad41

@binduprasad41

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#297

Originally posted by: durgeshnandini
You have already heard(read) it all hundreds of times, but once again, dear Author, this chapter was splendid!! What made it more so enthralling, is yet another interesting point, with earnest simplicity... emotional twists... and selfless concerns... as the basic ingredients, you've pointed out something significant and poignant - there is no choice between good or bad in this world, we've to choose from the... bad, worse, and worst.

Of Serpent and Scorpion...
Unbeknown to the lurking danger, partially blind to the ungratefulness that prevailed around... she sits on the steps of a Shrine, a haven of peace and tranquility, chanting hymns, praying and praising the ample beauty Mother Nature presented - the world so comfortable a sheath for her- yet the potent danger lurks around - it was a trouble from bad, worse, and worst!

As stealthy as a Serpent, manipulative and calm, measuring his steps and thoughts all the same - he comes. He warns her, for he is worried, he is worried, for he knows the dangers, he knows the dangers, for he is a part of the ploy - and he knows the Rules of the Game - a Game more dangerous than a Tahar, more challenging than Ganjifa... and so unsure of her safety, he stands back and waits - that is when he notices, things were going from bad, worse to worst!

She's caught up between the Good and Bad, a lethal red Scorpion (or Cupid, in disguise, as Shruti said) and a tough Protector... and the Divine intervention, of course! For the background of the Shrine, for such a significant happening shows how religious they both were deep down. And whatever they achieve in the end, they're surely going to be blessed! How beautiful of you, dearest Author!

The Just Stay Safe...
A known - unknown opponent, a never before experienced proximity and some Lashian romance - they don't touch but they feel, they don't hear but her mirth resonates in him, she baits, and the Analyser of Analysers falls for it... and thus, despite the fact, that she knows not what he combats against, she helps him out... with taunts as reassurance, smiles as confidence, and her beauty as positivity! And all this even when things take a downturn - from bad, worse to worst!

He takes up her danger, shields her from pain, smashes her opponent, and wins again! And he leaves with a parting note,
just stay safe - for the stakes are high,
just stay safe - for the enemies are strong,
just stay safe - for you is partially blind to your enemies,
just stay safe - for the Just must be kept safe and just stay safe - for me... for the things may get from bad, worse to worst!

The Burning (of) Pain...
It takes patience, to live through pain.
It takes courage to bring it back again...
It needs self-reliance to mull over your thought,
But what does it take to walk on a double edged sword?!
He thinks, ponders and engrosses into ideas... but it is not easy to lose a battle you're beginning to enjoy... to remove the friction that absolutely soothing... and to breach the trust the trust that has made you all that you are... the scorpion's poison burning his body, the poison of dilemma burning his mind. How does discard the food that survived him all these years, for a meal he had had only for a few days?!

He prays for help... and his prayers are answered... his mind cools with confession, and thoughts relaxes in submission... he realises his choices allowed over again - between bad, worse and worst... so the blessings relieve him, by setting his dilemmas ablaze. The proof against the Heiress burnt, the first testament of his treason burnt and his dilemma finally laid to rest. As the chapter closes, the curtains are pulled down... with his countenance aglow... probably with hopes for the things turning up to good, to better (and who knows) to best someday!!!

Thank you for this update!😊

adwi dear I am waiting for your review
now you post I am aww by your writing skill dear
somebody learn from you how to play with words
words are play according to you and words are weapons of you my dear
keep writing