-->> Is Jalal's behaviour justified?Is this fair on his part to hold Jodha responsible for the loss?
Is this fair on Jalal's part to blame Jodha for the death of Hussein?How far,one will take out one's angst on others who are innocent?
Well,scapegoating is a human tendency...as I have mentioned in my previous post on JA oct 13 thread. Blaming others to get rid of one's own guilt is something which is very poignant.
That moment came as a thunderbolt to Jodha when Jalal asked her that -- Should he hold her guilty for Hussein's death?(as if she was the only one wholly responsible for this..) "Kya hum aapke iss khamoshi ko aapki razamandi samjhe?"
"We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them - we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare."
This was really unfair on his part, to part ways from Jodha like this.He is holding his Mohabbat,responsible for the child's death.Whatever happened was destined to be.Even if Jodha had been there,Zeenat, who had the firm intention,must have took another chance to finish off her task...Regarding their Mohabbat, that night, both are responsible for that.
"I was still searching for someone to blame for my suffering. I really wanted someone to transfer my hate to, so that I could stop hating myself."
We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us ,with all kinds of things that we don't like about our associates or our society.
It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others...Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.
Blaming others is an act of refusing to take responsibility. When a person can't accept the fact or the reality, they blamed another person or the situation instead of taking accountability.
So was Jalal, wanted to take out his agony of him not being able to save his children, and hence found the whipping boy.
"I started wondering if God really existed. The world seemed too empty and lonely for there to be a God in it. But I figured he must exist because I kept blaming everything on him."
Now we know that with whom, Jalal was exactly angry with...the Omnipotent. Kisi aur keliye gussa kisi aur per utaarna kahan tak jaayaz hain? Khuda ko saabit karne keliye...usne haivaan ban ne ki thaan li hai...
People that hold onto hate for so long do so because they want to avoid dealing with their pain. They falsely believe if they forgive they are letting their enemy believe they are a doormat. What they don't understand is hatred can't be isolated or turned off. It manifests in their health, choices and belief systems. Their values and religious beliefs make adjustments to justify their negative emotions. Not unlike malware infesting a hard drive, their spirit slowly becomes corrupted and they make choices that don't make logical sense to others. Hatred left unaddressed will crash a person's spirit. The only thing he or she can do is to reboot, by fixing him or herself, not others. This might require installing a firewall of boundaries or parental controls on their emotions. Regardless of the approach, we are all connected on this "network of life" and each of us is responsible for cleaning up our spiritual registry.
My sincere advice to Jalal:::
"It's time to care; it's time to take responsibility; it's time to lead; it's time for a change; it's time to be true to our greatest self; it's time to stop blaming others."
Edited by lasyap3 - 11 years ago
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