Is the reel Jalal a desirable husband?

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staker123

@staker123

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: Shweta16

😆 Neena, even I'm curious to know who wants a wife like Jodha !
A straight no from me, she is definitely not my inspiration 😆 If I even try to behave like her my beau will laught at me and make a fool out of me 😳

thats what i mean to say😆

fiction character should be limited to TV only

no real life inspiration please😕

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MyExiledSoul

@MyExiledSoul

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: happygolucky099

thats what i mean to say😆
fiction character should be limited to TV only
no real life inspiration please😕

yupp ! his character is changed/butchered whatever it is, according to the trp janta 😆 When there is no consistency then its of no use to relate these characters to our concept of a perfect husband or simply a husband !! 😊

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PoPo/PoPu

@TheItalianBride

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: happygolucky099
of all indian male lead of daily soaps

only naitik and suraj are desirable husband

not any jalal, maan singh khurana,arnav singh raizada,asad,RK or other are husband material🥱

I desperately WANT a partner like the second line 😆

Naitik n Suraj thik hai but i like spicy life 🤣 thodi mara mari bhi honi chahiye na 😆

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staker123

@staker123

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: pupumon
I desperately WANT a partner like the second line 😆

Naitik n Suraj thik hai but i like spicy life 🤣 thodi mara mari bhi honi chahiye na 😆

🤣

maramari kiss se???

ruku,sasha,deepali,lavanya,billo rani wali entertainment????🤣

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PoPo/PoPu

@TheItalianBride

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: happygolucky099

🤣
maramari kiss se???

ruku,sasha,deepali,lavanya,billo rani wali entertainment????🤣

Nai re, Husband se agar voh yeh sab kare toh aur aisi ladkiyon ka toh katal kar du mein, sacchi mein 😡 Mujhe Suraj Naitik nahi chahiye jo dinbhar Pooja ji Pooja ji kare 🤣 Ek to naam bhi Pooja aur usme se Ji laga diya toh Devi wali feeling aayegi bas 🤣

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rpeez

@rpeez

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: pupumon
I desperately WANT a partner like the second line 😆

Naitik n Suraj thik hai but i like spicy life 🤣 thodi mara mari bhi honi chahiye na 😆

He he, I think even I will friend-zone Naitik and Suraj within 5 minutes.

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staker123

@staker123

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#47

Originally posted by: pupumon
Nai re, Husband se agar voh yeh sab kare toh aur aisi ladkiyon ka toh katal kar du mein, sacchi mein 😡 Mujhe Suraj Naitik nahi chahiye jo dinbhar Pooja ji Pooja ji kare 🤣 Ek to naam bhi Pooja aur usme se Ji laga diya toh Devi wali feeling aayegi bas 🤣

🤣

for a sec mujhe laga uska naam to sandhya hain tu pooja ji kyun kar rhi hain😆

to inme se ek choose karle😉

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akdha

@akdha

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#48

i don't want all time coochey--coo as well as full rough man. i expect a mix-masala type!!😉😆

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rock&roll

@rock&roll

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: rpeez

Lord! He's not at all like Darr/Agnisakshi characters. Had he been so, by now, he would have put her in a can of hot oil by now, not, kept brooding after seeing her with another man for 2 days in a row.

She almost got him killed by the tiger, insulted him left right center during the initial days of their marriage, preferred to end their marriage before her mother gave her a verbal tsunami, has basically barged in on on him everywhere, DEK, DEA, hammam, even tried when he was with another beghum. Prior to Ben track, her behaviour has been boorish from every angle, wow, right now after listing all these, I think he makes a perfect hubby material. 😆

Nice discussion,Radhika 👍🏼

I have marked in blue,the points of urs that I thought were very valid😊

U r right,the biggest abuse is not physical abuse,but emotional and social abuse.Social abuse is a scenario where the abuser cuts the victim off from all ppl whom she knew till her marriage(thereby cutting off her support system,as she knew it).OC,it also extends into the abuser not allowing the victim to make any new friends(which Jalal has not done)

As for cutting off her initial support system,Jalal did not do anything intentionally to cut her off from her maika.Her own parents did that to her,which makes the situation worse and Jodha's predicament more pathetic.It makes the victim feel completely helpless and unwanted and the abuser realises that he has complete control over his victim.

Jalal brought her into a system/setup which was completely new to her ,where she had to start from scratch.For all the allowances,he gave her,it was still nowhere close to the culture she knew and was comfortable with.To add to it,after giving her the few allowances he did,he became the magnanimous shehenshah😲.

Drawing parallels in today's society,it could be like taking a small town girl from India and getting her married to a US/UK settled guy.To bring it even closer,let's say the groom was of a different religion and the marriage was done to save her parents from (financial/social)distress.The man allows her to pray to her God and make one phone call a month to India.He gives her a retinue of servants and money(but nowhere to spend it,coz she can't do anything of her own free will).In return for this,he constantly shows her who's the boss(main tumhe sabse bachaoonga,mujhse tumhe kaun bachayega?) and humiliates her.After all this,if we are still waiting for our hero to physically abuse her before he is officially termed an "abuser",then we should take a walk to Mars.

I also agree with you when you say

that is the essence of a person who wants to control his wife - he observes her more, and obsesses over her and her reactions more. It's not that she is exerting the stranglehold on him. He is spinning it around himself. being passionately in love is one thing. but being an obsessive or possessive lover is another

Well said 👏..The person who controls and wants to control obsesses over every movement of his wife.If Jodha exerts any influence over Jalal ,she does it unknowingly,not intentionally.But Jalal wants to control Jodha,he wants her to listen to him(which she does not) and that bugs him big time. I think there is nothing called being passionately in love.I think one can passionately lust for something or be deeply in love.😊.If a person is deeply in love,he will trust his partner.If he trusts his partner,he will not be obsessed over her actions/communication or lack of it. True love means giving space and freedom,not giving red roses and chocolate cakes.Unfortunately,very few ppl realize that.If he has a problem with any action /lack of communication,he would

a)confess the source of his trouble to his partner and resolve the issue(this can be done only when there is mutual trust)

b)let it go,coz he loves and trusts her so much that he knows she cannot do anything wrong(as Jalal claims).In this scenario love has to be unconditional,coz even if the partner is unfaithful,the other person's love does not diminish.This scenario is very rare & would have to be a one way love street.

Our Jallu's character(as being shown now) is a confused one...The lover boy in him trusts Jodha and doesn't want to ask her anything.He is also afraid of losing her if he questions him .(Natural insecurity is initial stages of love) But his ego and controlling nature are creating trouble here.He is hurt that Jodha is doing something without informing/telling him.He is hurt not becoz she is meeting someone,but becoz she chose not to tell it to him 😆.How dare she not inform her husband,the shehenshah?😛.So he is obsessed over the idea that she is hiding something from him,possessive abt her meeting someone else,going through the the fears of a new lover and the insecurity of being ignored.No wonder he is close to breaking point 😆😆

btw,I know this is digressing..but just a few more words

The Darr SRK is an insecure guy who looks to regain his confidence and power by controlling and getting the woman he lusts for..He could be called an obsessive lover(if we stretch the definition of lover a little far and leniently)

The Agni Sakshi Nana Patekar is a sadistic psychopath who gets his only happiness from humiliation and pain inflicted on others..Let us not even dream of calling him any kind of lover,please 😊

Edited by rock&roll - 11 years ago

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rock&roll

@rock&roll

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#50

Originally posted by: RadhikaS0
Hi,
Am back with a doubt. This is regarding the Jalal as shown in the show and not the real Jalal.

The SWs have shown the character of Jalal as someone who alternates between trusting/loving his wife passionately and mistrusting/humiliating her publicly and manhandling her privately. Seems like sadistic behaviour to me. The kind of man who tries to control his woman and keep her subdued. He will love her, praise her, pamper her but suddenly without warning unleash the beast in him on her. He will hit her, abuse her and deny her all personal space and freedom. Once the rage cools, he will ask her forgiveness and promise that he will never repeat that behaviour again. That he was simply reacting out of love/jealousy/possessiveness.

What you have spelt out above is one of the typical behavioural symptoms of abusive husbands/ppl..In fact, I am sure this will figure in one of the top 5 abusive traits of any spouse😊.Such ppl are very insecure themselves and are shaken by the confidence and fearlessness shown by the victim.(Plz rememeber that I am talking very generally here,not at all wrt Jalal).They humiliate the victim,then go thru a guilt cycle,feel genuinely sorry,apologize,try being nice...but sooon their insecurity takes over and they get insecure over the victim's confidence and calm..they go back to abusing/suspecting her ..Its a cycle that will never ever end,but the victims,in many situations are unfortunately lulled into thinking that the scenario will not repeat itself

Another and worse explanation for this cycle:The abusers could be sadists.They humiliate the victim,but they realise that constant humiliation and negativity will cease to have an impact,coz victims slowly build a wall around themselves to remain unaffected by the negativity...the abuser realises this.He wants the victim to be hurt as much and as hard as possible...I know this sounds gory and filmi 😆,but I am not making it up.Such ppl actually exist 😊..So he keeps shifting between a +ve and -ve cycle.He praises,talks sweetly and lovingly and breaks the victim's defense.Then when she is least expecting it,he hurts her.He enjoys watching her cry,beg,writhing in pain or affected by the hurt caused by him...Once the hurt is thru,he goes back to his loving self biding his time for the next attack...

I know I have made this post sound really bad..There are kids in this forum who don't need to be reading all this 😳..And for all the adults who think this is a story from an over active imaginative mind,plz continue believing so..Good for you 😊

Would you like to have such a man as your husband or even a friend? NOOO,Asli zindagi mein aise log kabhi nahin badalte aur agar badalte hain,to change hote hote umar beet jayegi...phir change hone ka kya faayda? 😆

I am not considering Jodha's behaviour because for abusive spouses, the wife's behaviour is just an excuse for their own violent tendencies.

Again,well said 👏

Edited by rock&roll - 11 years ago

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Is the reel Jalal a desirable husband? - Page 5

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