IS IT Hate Or Love CHAPTER 21 Page 144 ~ THREAD 1 CLOSE - Page 14

Chapter 8: Beginning of romance! LOVE IN AIR!

Thinking about the way he had treated Jodha, filled him with guilt and unexplained feeling of anger. Jalal himself was puzzled with his emotions and had lots of questions in his mind. Why he is feeling her sorrow? He should be feeling content with this conquest, but then why these tears in my eyes and sting in my heart?? Why my heart is crying seeing her in this condition?? I don't have a heart then why I have so much unbearable suffocating pain? Why I am feeling so much stifle? Every time I hurt her, I felt miserable. Jodha's truth, her innocence and purity always upsets me. She is the only person who is not frightened of me.

He felt annoyed with her but at the same time admired her purity too.

I should appreciate her selfless nature, she sacrificed her entire life to save her land and today she gave her dignity to save her parents respect. Entire life she worshiped god and how innocently she punishes herself thinking she is punishing god. Her faith on god is so divine. I have not seen any person who is so magnanimous and pure hearted. Today she didn't even argue or said a single word but her silence was so powerful, her eyes had so much grief. Her love for Krishna is so divine, she is so much devoted to god... she is so untainted and celestially pure. Why do I hate her and for what? Just because she told me that she has killed Mughal soldiers and wanted to kill me, I punished her this brutually. Anyway when she told me all this, she didn't even knew that she was talking to me, Jalalluddin, The Mughal King himself.

When I met her for the first time she was fiercely, happy, proud, full of life, and so innocent. What have I done to her? I have taken away her smile, I have not seen even a small smile on her face since our marriage, Her beautiful innocent smile has vanished, her face looks so pale, today she followed everything like a puppet, She doesn't even fight or argue anymore, little by little I am killing her from inside.

But why am I thinking about her so much?? Why she is so important for me? Why her rejection hurt me so much? Why I desire to see her day and night. Why as soon as I see her I forget everything? I feel like she has captured me in her divine spell. When she is near me my heart feels at peace but at the same time her ignorance gives me deep sting.

His own thinking was now slowly slaughtering him. He had never experienced these emotions before. Unknowingly His dead heart was melting for Jodha.

At last, he decided that he will not hurt her anymore and will give her the same respect as other begums. He has insulted her enough in his ego. He has not given her importance as a begum yet but he will change everything now.

In Maham Anga's Chamber

Adham screamed at Maham loudly, "You do not love your own son. How could you support Jalal instead of me all the time?"

Maham retorted back at him and exasperatedly replied "When you will learn politics? Stop behaving like a brainless child? Conquering a sultanat is not a child's game, when will you understand me and my intentions? I hate Jodha begum to the extreme. She doesn't deserve to be a queen. These Rajvanshis look good only as our "GULAMS" (servants). I will teach her a big lesson and soon send her back to Amer forever. But till then you need to have patience."

In Jodha's Chamber

Hamida came to Jodha's room to meet her as she was out from palace for about three weeks on some political work. After coming back she heard about the way Jalal was treating her. She knew Jalal and Jodha had no husband wife relations but she had hopes that one day Jodha will change Jalal.

Jodha was preparing for pooja (prayer) when she saw Hamida banoo. She gave her a pleasant smile and softly said "Pranam Ammijaan, how are you doing?"

Hamida cheerfully smiled and replied "I am doing wonderful my dear. How about you? Are you adjusting well in Agra?? It seems like you are not happy in Agra. Are you missing your family and Amer?"

Jodha with casual tone replied "No Ammijaan, nothing like that, I am happy here, I have no complaints."

Hamida caressed on her cheeks and with care told her again "if you have any problem come to me anytime, I am like your mother" then she kissed Jodha on her forehead and walked out gracefully.

While preparing for pooja (prayer) Jodha was talking to Moti about everything that happened in Jalal's chamber. "Moti, I don't know why but at the last second Shenshah held my hand and stopped me from eating and told me to go do pooja (prayer). I am surprised he still remembers that I don't eat without prayer. You know Moti, if I had eaten that bite, I would have died in guilt. But it is so difficult to understand him, I am not sure but I felt his own actions were giving him pain. His words were filled with ego and cruelty but his eyes had intense sadness in them."

Moti thoughtfully said: "I think Shenshah is not that bad. He is very nice to people whom he loves..."

Cutting Moti in between Jodha quickly said "And he is very hurtful to those he hates and he will not miss any opportunity to take his revenge from me."

Moti with argument said "but Jodha, so far he has kept his promise of not touching you without your permission and he also allowed you to continue in your religion, that too against many people wish, even in the court he stand up for you against Adham. Jodha the way he took care of you that night, I can't forget he indeed looked in pain and worry for you. In harem hall when he realized there is no chair for you, immediately he arranged it and make you seat on Rukaiya begum's chair and invitation it is possible that maid made a mistake. You have also insulted him many times, you walked out of harem hall and called him liar in front of Rukaiya begum and Salima begum."

Jodha angrily said "Moti, why are you talking so much in Shenshah's favor? Are you my friend or his?? Let me just finish my pooja (prayer) otherwise that Jallad (devil) will punish me for taking long time for pooja (prayer)."

Jodha felt much better after talking to Moti and Hamida. Jodha's emotions were on a roller coaster ride, one day she thought high about Jalal but next day he would do something which brought him all the way down again. Every day in Agra, her days were full of surprises and shocks.

Jodha was sitting in front of Krishna with lots of guilt, she apologized to Krishna for not keeping her promise and thanked him for saving her from committing sin.

She started her prayer with singing Aarti in her melodious voice. Jalal came quietly and stood behind her while she was performing pooja (prayer) and Aarti. He was completely engrossed in each and every word of her divine prayer and adored her singing.

After finishing pooja (prayer) she turned with Aarti thal in her hand and saw Jalal standing behind her and waiting for her prayer to finish.

Jalal waited for Jodha to give him Aarti but Jodha decided not offer him as he doesn't know how to take it.

Jalal broke the silence and asked "Jodha, won't you give me aarti today?"

Jodha got stunned and stared at him with mystified expressions. She couldn't believe what she heard, 'HE WANTS AARTI' she thought.

Seeing her standing like a statue Jalal asked her again with little louder tone "Won't you give me aarti?"

Jodha glanced down at his shoes with dark expression and replied in firm tone "Shenshah, first of all go out of the chamber and take off your shoes and remember never enter in this chamber with your shoes. Walking in temple with shoes means disrespecting god.

Her firm and disrespectful tone really annoyed Jalal, but he gulped his fury and looked at her pointedly and walk out of her chamber to take off his shoes then he came inside with bear feet.

Jodha with confused look, forwarded the aarti thal towards him. He first took aarti in the correct way and then took a pinch of sindoor from the plate and swiftly filled her maang.

Jalal knew very well that she won't like this but he couldn't control himself from doing that and also he probably wanted to remind her once more that she is married to him and belongs to him only.

After that Jalal sat on the couch then requested Jodha in very polite manner "Jodha Begum, can you please come and sit next to me, I would like to talk to you."

Jodha got shocked seeing him so calm even after her impertinent attitude. She finally broke her silence and said softly "Shenshah, I am fine here. Tell me what you want to discuss."

Jalal felt little gloomy with her cold approach even though he continued in very polite tone "Jodha Begum, You don't have to continue with me for the whole day, you are free from my condition. I will behave the way you want me to with your parents. I want to..." he hesitated and fumbled for a second but then he started again... "I am sorry for my behavior earlier today. I should never have taken advantage of the situation."

Jodha looked at him stunned as she couldn't believe that he was really apologizing to her. Jalal amused her again. But then Jodha felt like he was probably feeling pity on her, so with her pompous tone she said "Shenshah, I don't want your mercy; I will fulfill your condition and stay with you all day and follow your orders. I did expect this type of behavior when I accepted your terms, but for me my parents and my family's respect is more important than my own self-respect."

Not wanting to hurt her ego again, Jalal said "Okay! As you wish Jodha Begum, get ready to spend a day with me then. I am going for horse riding in ten minutes, get ready for the ride." He looked straight in her eyes and continued in commending tone very clearly "I want a companion not a maid or a puppet. If you want to come with me, then come with your dignity. You are a begum of the Mugal Empire, Never forget that and if you are still going to act like a puppet then please don't show up." Jalal turned and walked out without looking back at her.

Jodha felt slightly relieved with his changed behavior but at the same time she had doubts on him, why is he showing these change suddenly? May be he has another game planned in mind? But he sounded very genuine. Why do I always feel he really likes me? I see deep longing in his eyes for me. Every time I look in his eyes, I feel utterly captivated in him and forget everything else. Why do I always feel like he pretends to hate me but doesn't actually hate me? She suddenly came out of her thoughts... her own thinking gave her shiver... oh Kanah ... Why am I so attracted to him?? Why am I being so stupid? She scolded herself...

She reached by the horse stables, where Jalal was waiting for her.

Jalal asked her tenderly "Jodha begum, do you want to ride with me or do you know horse riding?"

Jodha smirked with a stance look and walked through the entire stable and picked the best white horse for herself.

Jalal walked near her and with mocking tone he said "Jodha Begum, this horse is hard to handle, he is very fast and moody" he paused with smirked rubbing his chin thoughtfully he taunted her, "I think this will horse will match to your taste... you both have similar personalities."

Jodha glanced at Jalal with grin on her face and replied sarcastically "Shenshah, I am very well experienced in controlling difficult, wild and crazy horses and people too. I will be able to manage him proficiently. I don't need any suggestions from you." Then with in a flick she jumped and sat on the horse and was ready for the ride.

Jalal humbly said "Looks like you are an expert in horse riding as well."

Jodha proudly replied "Never forget that I am a Rajvanshi Princess, if necessary I can save your life too."

Jalal was happy to see Jodha back to her fiercely attitude. Jalal with little fury replied "Begum Jodha, you are too arrogant and you are underestimating Jalal's capability. Why don't you prove to me that you are better in horse riding than me?"

Jodha's rajvanshi blood boiled, "Oh, so you are challenging your begum Shenshah!"

Jalal gazed at her and replied "Yes! My Rajvanshi princess... It is a challenge."

Jodha with confidence said "Sure, I am ready for it."

Jalal pointed his finger and said. "Look at the end of this open land, faraway, there is a big tree near the lake and on that tree there is a red cloth hanging, whoever gets it wins the race."

Both of them looked at each other and stole a glance with smirk on their face then started racing. Of course Jalal was better in horse riding than Jodha so he was a little ahead of her. But when he looked back to see Jodha he got unfocused by her beauty. Her hair, her green chunni were flying in the air and her face was glowing again and her eyes were on the target. Jalal got so impressed with her horse riding skill and got lost in her mesmerizing beauty.

This distraction made him slower and Jodha passed Jalal and was now in front of him.

Jalal realized he was behind now so he put all his effort to win the race. Now they were riding next to each other. For some time they stayed next to each other.

Jodha noticed that Jalal was gazing at her without a blink. She blushed a little but then focused back on the target.

They were almost reaching the destination.

At last, Jalal started focusing on the race to win and got ahead, Jodha noticed that so she also pushed hard to win and they both jumped from the horse at the same time to catch the cloth. They both grabbed the cloth together but Jodha lost her balance and was about to fall, when Jalal realized that Jodha was falling he tried to save her and in that he lost his grip on the cloth but successfully saved Jodha from falling on the ground.

She fell in Jalal's arm with the cloth; her eyes were closed in fear of the fall. Their breathing was harsh and audible. Jalal was gazing at her while breathing deeply; she looked so innocent with her closed eyes, just like a little child. She clutched his neck and hid herself in his chest. Jalal didn't want to let her go from his arms. Her sweet smell, her soft cozy cuddle made him crazy. He wanted to hug her tightly and kiss her soft rosy pink lips.

After a few seconds, Jodha opened her eyes and saw passionate and sensual gawk in Jalal's eyes. His possessive and secured grip with intense stare gave her shiver.

She suddenly felt shy and blushed a little with his sensual gaze. She couldn't take her eyes off him as well, his bright sharp features with sensual look on his face were making him even more desirable.

After a few seconds, she snapped out and realized he has been holding her for so long which made her a little uncomfortable.

In a low tone shyly she said "Shenshah, please put me down."

Jalal came out of her magic charm and with deep sigh out he smirked and then put her down.

Jodha shyly said "Thank you for saving me from falling Shenshah, but you have lost the game." She sounded more excited and playful and then she showed him the cloth with winning pride on her face.

Jalal was staring at her innocent look, he smiled and replied with mystifying expression "Jodha begum, who knows who won and who lost?"

Jodha knew what he was trying to say. Both of them again got lost in each other's gaze.

She thought to herself, oh god, he is so attractive and charming. He can charm any woman with his one gaze. Then suddenly it occurred to her that she was staring at him, so to hide her emotions towards him she quickly asked him "Why are you being so nice suddenly?" Her voice came out sounding a little grouchier then she'd intended.

Jalal said in relaxed tone while walking towards the tree "Jodha begum, can't you forget the past and start fresh, instead of fighting why don't we get to know each other a little better?"

Jodha tetchily replied "So you are saying that it's me who always like to fight?"

Jalal looked back at her and started laughing at her innocence.

It was a bright sunny beautiful breezy morning! There was a little lake near this tree. The entire area was so peaceful and calm, birds were chirping around, cool breeze was blowing; lake was surrounded by colorful roses and jasmine plants. It was very peaceful and quite calming place.

Jalal went under the big tree and sat on the grass to relax. He called up loudly "Jodha begum, come here to sit with me and relax."

At first Jodha felt a little hesitant but then she went and sat next to him.

Jodha was blindly attracted to Jalal that's why she was a bit hesitant and afraid of sitting so close to him.

Jalal's eyes were closed but he could feel her presence next to him. Jodha was gazing at his gorgeous personality with athlete broad shoulder.

Jalal without opening his eyes said "Jodha begum stop staring at me like this."

Jodha with irritation replied "Why would I look at you?"

Jalal quickly replied "Don't lie Jodha, I have noticed many times that you like to gaze at me."

Jodha innocently replied "So what if I looked at you. I have also seen you gazing at me, in fact, you just lost today because of you were busy gazing at me."

Jalal mysteriously smirked and asked "Do you know why I love gazing at you?"

Jodha nervously replied "I don't know and I don't want know Shenshah."

Jalal with closed eyes grinned and said, "Jodha begum, do you know this is my one of the favorite places!!! Whenever, I feel alone, or too stressed, I come here to relax. This is my own private kingdom...no one is allowed to come here, not even Rukaiya begum, I always come here alone."

Jodha with astonished sound asked "Then why did you bring me over here?"

Jalal opened his eyes and looked at her with deep intense love; without saying a word he closed his eyes again to relax.

Jodha blushed heavily in silence and thought...why can't he say something? How do I tell him that I am so desperate to hear what he just said in his deep silent look?

Both of them were very tired and hadn't slept at all last night. It was very cool and calm, the light wind was making them sleepy, in a few minutes both of them were lost in soothing sound sleep.

This sleep was like a magic, it was washing their anger away. Both of them were feeling so composed and passive, they felt like they were resting after a big war.

In deep sleep, Jodha turned to get support and unintentionally rested her head on Jalal's shoulder; her silky long hairs were blowing on his face. Her hands were on his chest.

Her hairs finally woke up Jalal. After opening his eyes he couldn't believe his own eyes; Jodha was resting on his shoulder like a sleeping beauty, her hairs were all around her face, which were making her more adorable. Jalal wanted to hold her tightly in his embrace but he controlled his desire and just held her hand in his hand and went back to sleep.

Few minutes later...they were hugging each other in sleep, both of them knew in their sleep they were cuddling but didn't want to break their most beautiful dream ever. This was their first touch out of love, and for Jodha this was her first time ever touching someone sensually. Her brain stopped working for a while...all she wanted to do was hide in Jalal's broad shoulders.

Jalal couldn't believe what was happening and slowly their innocent hug turned into a passionate and most romantic hug. Jalal possessed her in his arms so strongly, they were so close to each other, could even hear each other's heartbeat.

Jodha entirely lost her senses and control, she was melting in his muscular arms like ice melts on fire, this was her weakest moment ever. They were lost in their hug for more than five minutes; both of them were feeling deeply content... As the moments passed Jalal made his grip on her stronger and stronger.

Finally Jalal opened his eyes and saw her beautiful, lustful smile on her face then softly he kissed on her eyes then rubbed his cheeks with her and then softly nibbled on it.

Jodha was feeling extremely shy...she didn't wanted open her eyes. Jalal's one hand was under her head and half of his body was on hers. He tenderly moved his thumb on her bottom lip and then smirked seeing her shivering lips and changing expressions...he leaned down and gripped her entire body and kissed on her trembling rosy lips delicately. He just touched her lips with his to feel the wetness. He kissed for a few seconds softly. He could feel her eager and inexperienced lips under his and her young body straining to be closer to him.

The small part of her brain that was still functioning kept telling her that she was being stupid, only her body found it impossible to stop.

He slowly took off her jewelry from her face and pulled himself back a little and waited for her be responsive.

Jodha opened her eyes shyly with look on her face and expression in her eyes wanting more.

Jalal with passion whispered sensually "Oh Jodha, you are so beautiful, you are making me crazy for you." His lips travelled down her neck with soft smooches and trails of kisses. His kisses made her moan... "ahhh." He stopped and gazed at her but then started kissing her on her lips with little more passion.

This time she responded a little and both of them softly nibbled and smooched on each other's lips.

Jodha was blushing heavily and feeling shy, she couldn't face him anymore. She turned her back towards him to hide herself from him.

He gently went close to her with smile and he kissed her back and bit on her ears. This bite made her crazy; she whined loudly "ahhh Ja..."

Jalal noticed that she was about to say his name but stopped...he smirked passionately...his desire for her was on fire. He wanted to possess her, hold her in his arms tightly and wanted complete their marriage.

Jalal was expert and well proficient in this game. He kissed her on her neck leaving a trail of kisses and then he whispered sensually "Jodha, You are mine, only mine and I will never let you go away from me."

His whisper made Jodha fanatical, she turned back and looked in his eyes to see assurance. Her eyes got moist in happiness. She kissed him with wild passion on his lips then she hugged him very passionately.

Jalal went wild seeing her response and so much passion from her in return.

He had so many women in his life, but he never desired anyone the way he desired Jodha, his longing for her was his obsession. Her touch was making him feel complete. The feeling of being with her was overwhelming...he wanted to give himself to her...he wanted to love her and give her assurance that she belongs to him and she will always be secured and loved by him. They were kissing each other and were passionately lost in each other.

It had taken every ounce of sanity for Jalal to leave her with just a kiss and hug. He wanted to go further so he kissed her again but slowly and thoroughly this time. He tried opening her backless blouse lace (dori) but before he opened it, Jodha realized that she went too far. She snapped out of her most prettiest dream ever.

She pushed herself from him and clumsily stood up and stumbled back a few steps saying "We shouldn't be doing this Shenshah." she said this almost in a whisper.

"We would be mad not to." Jalal said impatiently and came closer to her again but not touching her. He looked into her eyes with a deep desire for her in his eyes.

It was getting impossible for her to resist as well.

Jalal pulled her towards him and asked her "Why not, I am your husband; we are not doing anything wrong Jodha."

His desire was at the mountain, he couldn't control himself anymore, he was not ready to hear NO. He was at a point where there was no turning back for him.

He again pulled her closer with passion and a little anger.