AkhDa FF- Pyaar Kiya Toh Nibhana *NEW Author's Note* Page 65 - Page 19

Originally posted by: atsanj

This is amazing! Please update soon!!
I really want to know what happened between Jodha and Jalal that his love suddenly turned into hate 😕

No love he didn't hate her... He faked his love😛

Extremely well written. The language, the style are both admirable, and what is even rarer, the syntax and the grammar are both impeccable as well, which enhances the pleasure of reading this tale. The passages about her memories of their shared passion are done tastefully, which was a relief to an old fashioned reader like me.

You will undoubtedly reveal in due course what it is that Jalal did to break his Jodha Begum's heart and her trust in his love, but I do see that she is not dead at all. and that is the vital secret. But how can Jalal be stopped from wanting to see the face of his dead wife before she is cremated?

For now, congratulations on a very promising beginning.

Shyamala Aunty

Hey Guys!! Az here 🤗and I'm back with a brand new story hot off the press (my head) lol🤣... Aanchal my lovely will be posting on my behalf... Thank you Aanchal!!!❤️ So please let me know what you think😳😳😳

Disclaimer:

All characters belong to Balaji, Zee and Ekta Ma'am. I'm merely borrowing them to play for awhile. I do not make any money from this. I do not mean to disrespect any religion or group nor do I wish to disgrace any real historical figure through my story, I'm merely using the characters of the show to tell my story. Hope you like it...

Pyaar Kiya Toh Nibhana

Prologue

I am not going to waste a good pair of chappals on this one. It is very disturbing and ugly, and I think there was no need for you to have dumped this on us in a rush.

Even if Jalal was intending to make Jodha look a fool after he had got her to fall in love with him, surely there are more sensitive ways of doing it? The parts in red are indecent and totally unacceptable. I for one cannot see how you are going to salvage anything of Jalal from this shipwreck.

I would still say the same about your language and your style, both continue to be excellent, but your content is enough to leave a very bad taste in the mouth.

So, there is honest criticism for you, my dear!

Shyamala Aunty

Originally posted by: aanchal_c

Disclaimer Applies

Chapter 1

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.'- Friedrich Nietzsche

She had spent many a night weeping for him. He saw her soft lips quiver as a tiny sliver of blood dripped from them. He had slapped her there. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears and her chest heaved in sorrow. Her heart bled, not just figuratively from his cruelty but literally as well. Her heart had met a blade for him. He heard the treacherous sound of metal searing flesh. 'Jodha!' He screamed...

His chest began to ache. He couldn't breathe. He was having a panic attack. He could feel it. He was suffocating. As his head pounded he imagined how she must have felt when he had back-handed her. As his breath caught in his throat he remembered how he had choked her. As he struggled to move his arms all he could think of was how helpless and delicate her arms had been, trapped in his cage-like grip.

Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.'- Paulo Coelho

Jalal opened his arms, beckoning her. Jodha teared up with joy as she lifted herself lightly off the bed, wishing to shelter herself in his powerful embrace. Poor Jodha had no idea that this was her last moment of happiness. It took all of Jalal's self-control not to laugh out loud at her naivete and her foolishness. She had trusted him. An enemy. The minute Jodha was about to wrap her arms around him, he lifted his arm and slapped her so hard that she fell over and hit her head on the floor...

He had laughed manically. 'You know for someone who claims to come from a clan of warriors you really have a hard time differentiating friend from foe Jodha Begum...' She looked up at him in shock. 'Sh...Shehensha what are you saying? You said you loved me! I.. I thought we..' 'Oh shut up woman.' He cut her off. 'I always knew you were foolish, but even I was surprised at how gullible and stupid you are. I could never love a Rajput wretch like you. I could never love period! I said all those things to get you into my bed and you offered yourself to me like a cheap wh**re. Tum ek Begum nahin, bazaar mein bhikni wali cheez ho.' Jodha could only shiver in shock. She couldn't believe what was happening. His chest ached suddenly as he looked into her anguished eyes. What's happening to me? He thought. He could practically see Jodha shatter into a million pieces before his eyes... 'But I love you Shehensha... Puri tarah se hochuki hoon mein tumhaari. Sab kuch de diya hain maine tumhe Shehensha... If you hate me so much kill me... But please tell me that this is a lie!' Jodha wept brokenly in front of him. She stood up and held his hand. 'Just get out!' He had told her ruthlessly. He flung her away in disgust. Jodha's eyes widened. 'H...how can I? I.. In this state?' Her clothes were tattered and her body still bore the signs of their passionate love-making. He grinned at her humiliation. "Shehensha you are joking right? You are testing me, my love for you. Shehensha I love you, truly, honestly. I can't live without you! I have given you all I have to give...' She cried. He took his shawl and wrapped it around her. 'Jaaiye Jodha Begum... Back to the Harem with all the other old clothes. Let them see you coming in wearing my shawl. Let them see my victory...' He cackled as her eyes widened. She trembled. She was completely defeated, her pride and honour, all gone. 'No! Nahin! Jodha!!!' Jalal woke with a start. His body was wracked with tremors and his head throbbed...

I am completely horrified and I apologise for this chapter.😭 I wrote it in a rush. I promise I'll pay more attention after my exams. 😭I'm sorry everyone but I just wanted to give you something before I go on hiatus. I'll accept the chappals and rotten vegetables for this one. I'm sorry...

Originally posted by: sashashyam

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">I am not going to waste a good pair of chappals on this one. It is very disturbing and ugly, and I think there was no need for you to have dumped this on us in a rush.

Even if Jalal was intending to make Jodha look a fool after he had got her to fall in love with him, surely there are more sensitive ways of doing it? The parts i<font color="#FF0000">n red</font> are indecent and totally unacceptable. I for one cannot see how you are going to salvage anything of Jalal from this shipwreck.

I would still say the same about your language and your style, both continue to be excellent, but your content is enough to leave a very bad taste in the mouth.

So, there is honest criticism for you, my dear!

Shyamala Aunty

🥺

"I am not going to waste a good pair of chappals on this one. It is very disturbing and ugly, and I think there was no need for you to have dumped this on us in a rush.

Even if Jalal was intending to make Jodha look a fool after he had got her to fall in love with him, surely there are more sensitive ways of doing it? The parts in red are indecent and totally unacceptable. I for one cannot see how you are going to salvage anything of Jalal from this shipwreck.

I would still say the same about your language and your style, both continue to be excellent, but your content is enough to leave a very bad taste in the mouth.

So, there is honest criticism for you, my dear!

Shyamala Aunty"

My dear, I was so hard only because I care about her writing. She is exceptionally good, as I had said, and very warmly too, in my comment on the precap. If I had not cared, I would not have commented on it at all.

But this one, though it is equally well written, shocked and dismayed me. Azra felt the same way, did she not? She was horrified by what she had written, and the best thing would have been for her not to post it. But once you put it out, AND invite comments, you have to take what comes in the proper, constructive spirit.

In fact, to be very plainspoken, I was greatly dismayed by all the approving comments on this beastly behaviour of Jalal's, which deserved the strongest condemnation by all of you. How is it that so many of you seem to actua, lly like it? What does this say about the romanticisation of the abuse of women, and not just emotional but acute physical abuse of them? I thought all of you would have gone after Jalal with belans, if not knives. His being so anguished about it post facto means nothing if he was capable of doing something like that in the first place.

I am sorry but I do not find a woman being vilified, brutalised and destroyed inside and out by her husband "fun and entertainment". How CAN you call it that, Nancy? It is one of the worst problems facing women the world over, and you can make light of it? Would you say the same if Jodha was a family member or a friend?

If my reviews are not liked by Azra, let her tell me so and I will erase my comment. But she has to tell me that herself. I am then not coming back here.

I am very fond of all of you young kids, and I am immensely grateful for your affection, but this is a red flag issue for me, and I simply cannot stand the hero doing such vile things and that being tolerated by the readers. In the end, Jodha will forgive him and take him back, for she will be shown as loving him despite the way he treated her, and what sort of message does that send out? Not one I like, that is for sure. Think it over coolly, and you just might agree with me.

Affectionately,

Shyamala Aunty

Originally posted by: PrincessNancy

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Dear Aunty,

I respect you a lot! Your views, your posts ..everything is so perfect and I am fan of yours!

But Aunty.. this comment?? 🥺

I hold no offence to you...NO OFFENCE... This is just a story..nothing else.. WE have a lot of stories on forums.. with different ideas.. imagination beyond the actual history..

Azra is just writing a brilliant piece with amazing storyline.. SHe is not actually following any history or something..

Sorry aunty..very sorry..but this is JUST A STORY!!🥺🥺🥺

Everything is fine in stories n fictional work... We write many FFs, or One shots imagining all different ideas..n that's just for fun and entertainment.. Nothing else..

Azra just brought out a new concept..new storyline... that's it! And Personally me..I clap for her..👏👏👏👏👏

Again No offence to you aunty..I love you too..I just felt the comment was too hard..🥺

"I am not going to waste a good pair of chappals on this one. It is very disturbing and ugly, and I think there was no need for you to have dumped this on us in a rush.

Even if Jalal was intending to make Jodha look a fool after he had got her to fall in love with him, surely there are more sensitive ways of doing it? The parts in red are indecent and totally unacceptable. I for one cannot see how you are going to salvage anything of Jalal from this shipwreck.

I would still say the same about your language and your style, both continue to be excellent, but your content is enough to leave a very bad taste in the mouth.

So, there is honest criticism for you, my dear!

Shyamala Aunty"

Thank you every one for all the love and comments!! Nancy my love your loyalty and love for me continues to overwhelm me🤗 As for Shyamala Aunty... The fact that you like my writing style, despite disapproving of Jalal's behaviour and the fact that you even read my work is a huge honour for me!! I understand your point of view and I was prepared for this when I wrote the chapter that Jalal's behaviour would not go down well with many of you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart Aunty for your brutal honesty. I do not mind constructive criticism at all😳😳😳 This story is still in its beginning stages and I still need to find my feet as a writer especially with this story, I hope you can all bear with me... And Aunty I agree about it not being appropriate to glamourize abuse. I am going to take the story in a different direction in the future and I hope to redeem Jalal in everyone's eyes. I wanted to show him at his worst so you readers could truly appreciate how much he has changed once I show him at his best. He has done wrong and I hope to show through this story that everyone pays for their misdeeds but no-one is beyond redemption... Thank you Aunty❤️... I am truly honoured and I appreciate your comments. If you can, I'd appreciate if you stay with the story even if you don't like the way it shapes up... Your constructive thoughts and opinions will help make me a better writer... I'm sorry if the story upset you though Aunty... But it is fiction so don't worry... The story will eventually go where the readers want it to... I just felt like trying something dark and maybe I tipped the scales a little too far... But it's all right... I thank everyone who commented and sent suggestions... I thank those who are supporting me. I have no hard feelings towards anyone... All I want is to hopefully give you a good FF... So rest assured after my exams I will continue... So Thank you everyone!!!🤗❤️

Originally posted by: Az3003

Thank you every one for all the love and comments!! Nancy my love your loyalty and love for me continues to overwhelm me🤗

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As for Shyamala Aunty... The fact that you like my writing style, despite disapproving of Jalal's behaviour and the fact that you even read my work is a huge honour for me!! I understand your point of view and I was prepared for this when I wrote the chapter that Jalal's behaviour would not go down well with many of you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart Aunty for your brutal honesty. I do not mind constructive criticism at all😳😳😳This story is still in its beginning stages and I still need to find my feet as a writer especially with this story, I hope you can all bear with me... And Aunty I agree about it not being appropriate to glamourize abuse. I am going to take the story in a different direction in the future and I hope to redeem Jalalin everyone's eyes.I wanted to show him at his worst so you readers could truly appreciate how much he has changed once I show him at his best. He has done wrong and I hopeto show through this story that everyone pays for their misdeedsbut no-one is beyond redemption... Thank you Aunty❤️... I am truly honoured and I appreciate your comments. If you can, I'd appreciate if you stay with the story even if you don't like the way it shapes up...Your constructive thoughts andopinions will help make me a better writer... I'm sorry if the story upset you though Aunty... But it is fiction so don'tworry... The story will eventually go where the readers wantit to... I just felt like trying something dark and maybe I tipped the scales a little too far... But it's all right... Ithank everyone who commented and sent suggestions... I thank those who are supporting me. I have no hard feelings towardsanyone... All I want is to hopefully give you a good FF... So rest assured after my exams I will continue... So Thank you everyone!!!🤗❤️

Az I missed u sooo much 🤗

@Tahni... I'm missing you terribly!!!😭😭😭 I'm trying to finish my cases and exams asap so I can come and be here full tym😛

Hi Shyamala ,
I too had used the word horrible to describe this piece...as I somehow can't tolerate this kind of abuse of women at all...this is what I had written to Azra... And am sure she would take heed and do a gr8 job of transformation...would be wonderful to see how she does that...👍🏼

"Azra dear...
I don't know how to put 2 emotions together ...The horror of what I read abt Jalaal doing to Jodha and the Mastery u showed even in ur time-crunch...!!!! Horribly Brilliant it was!!Yes, that's the word to describe...!!!!"

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3780701&PID=94942503&#p94942503

Regards,
Kamal

Originally posted by: sashashyam

My dear, I was so hard only because I care about her writing. She is exceptionally good, as I had said, and very warmly too, in my comment on the precap. If I had not cared, I would not have commented on it at all.

But this one, though it is equally well written, shocked and dismayed me. Azra felt the same way, did she not? She was horrified by what she had written, and the best thing would have been for her not to post it. But once you put it out, AND invite comments, you have to take what comes in the proper, constructive spirit.

In fact, to be very plainspoken, I was greatly dismayed by all the approving comments on this beastly behaviour of Jalal's, which deserved the strongest condemnation by all of you. How is it that so many of you seem to actua, lly like it? What does this say about the romanticisation of the abuse of women, and not just emotional but acute physical abuse of them? I thought all of you would have gone after Jalal with belans, if not knives. His being so anguished about it post facto means nothing if he was capable of doing something like that in the first place.

I am sorry but I do not find a woman being vilified, brutalised and destroyed inside and out by her husband "fun and entertainment". How CAN you call it that, Nancy? It is one of the worst problems facing women the world over, and you can make light of it? Would you say the same if Jodha was a family member or a friend?

If my reviews are not liked by Azra, let her tell me so and I will erase my comment. But she has to tell me that herself. I am then not coming back here.

I am very fond of all of you young kids, and I am immensely grateful for your affection, but this is a red flag issue for me, and I simply cannot stand the hero doing such vile things and that being tolerated by the readers. In the end, Jodha will forgive him and take him back, for she will be shown as loving him despite the way he treated her, and what sort of message does that send out? Not one I like, that is for sure. Think it over coolly, and you just might agree with me.

Affectionately,

Shyamala Aunty



"I am not going to waste a good pair of chappals on this one. It is very disturbing and ugly, and I think there was no need for you to have dumped this on us in a rush.

Even if Jalal was intending to make Jodha look a fool after he had got her to fall in love with him, surely there are more sensitive ways of doing it? The parts in red are indecent and totally unacceptable. I for one cannot see how you are going to salvage anything of Jalal from this shipwreck.

I would still say the same about your language and your style, both continue to be excellent, but your content is enough to leave a very bad taste in the mouth.

So, there is honest criticism for you, my dear!

Shyamala Aunty"