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arshiar8

@arshiar8

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#11

and accpet my buddy request indhu ... u rocksss and dnt stop writing 😉... till someone beats u up 😆

Edited by arshiar8 - 11 years ago

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DonnaHarvey

@DonnaHarvey

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#12

Praise: You have made good use of authentic language, customs and a steady plot.

Critique: You should avoid switching between tenses, write the story as a just that- a story and avoid a script format (unless you are more fond of play style writing, then stick with that style exclusively; do not switch).

Other things: you say they are in love instead of making it evident as you go alone. If you can pull the latter off, it will a star in your set of writing skills. A little background is okay but most of all, your story and words should do the talking. your personal voice should rarely have to jump in.

I am testing the waters here. I can retract this any second if you so desire. I mean to helpful but if I come across as anything else, please accept my apology.

Take care and keep writing,

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ALEKHYA VENDRA

@alee001

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#13

itsss superbbb

Do pm me wenever u write

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ash

@ashpat

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#14

wow- it's really good especially when it's the first time u are writing.It was so sweet, funny,romantic and playful.
U should write often. and pm me if u do