FF: All That's Meant To Be UPDATED Pg4 - Page 4

Originally posted by: sashashyam

Dear Rose,

I am not in general much interested in FFs, but this one promises to be the exception. It flows smoothly, the style and syntax are near flawless, and you have managed to keep the characters both recognisable and credible.

My felicitations, and I am looking forward to enjoying myself as you proceed with it.

Just a couple of points, if I may, by way of a constructive critique. Jodha would not refer to her husband as Jalal, either in private, or even more so to outsiders like Ruqaiya. Also the tone (not the content) of her retort to Ruqaiya does not jell with Jodha's character. It sounds like a catfight, and while that might be Ruqaiya at times. it is not Jodha. A smooth, dignified, non-confrontational but effective putdown, like the one in the bazaar or in the jaziya scene, would have been perfect.

It is the same with her squeaking at Jalal that he should not touch her. Apart from the fact that he is her legally wedded husband and she did not marry him with any such condition, it sounds like a petulant schoolgirl, not a queen. It was done very nicely and delicately in the film.

Lastly, I see that 'smirk' is an expression of choice in the IF, and I wonder why.

Once again, I really liked this FF, and I hope you will take my comments above in the spirit in which they are offered.

Shyamala Aunty

Originally posted by: aanchal_c

yaar ab toh update kar do.