Our parents - Page 3

Thanx JP, for sharing ur experience ,. I agree with u that almost everyone suffers in the marriage in the beginning , they have some or the other problem in the marriage, Somewhere even i had problems when I got married ,

I m sure it wud be hard time for a girl who will be in Jassi's place. Its just a matte rof time, then THings turn out smoothly.

I hope it does In JJKN too , Armaan and Jassi tie the knot

Hi Minnie,Thanks for this; I know that post was written in a hurry & bit impulsively ,I 've been uncomfortable since then & actually came to IF leaving my work aside 'coz I knew I was harsh .....

For Purab thing I didn't mean this time...I keep remembering last time when she herself agreed & asked purab to get married...after which she kept spending more time with GM & Armaan.... ;after diwali party, I mean niether Purab nor his family insulted her with whom she was supposed to spend her life...... there was no reason to leave the party at meenaxi's comment who didn't matter to her life...but angle mattered she 's supposed to be her family but she wasn't upset at her comment....so why last time the whole episode was alloted to justify her so called insult....when in fact she over reacted..& I hold her equally responsible in dumping act too ...but in jjkn everything is justified with jassi's point of view...& given credit for everything she does.....!

Now for the second part IT'S A COMPLETE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE & I UNDERSTAND IT CAN'T BE GENERALISED I kept feeling bad about it after writting it...so now let me tell you the complete story..

My first 20 yrs of life have been spent in a closely knit family,I was equally close to every member (17 of them) My this uncle -aunt were first to stay separate,'coz my uncle wanted independent business & aunt needed more space(justified in their own reasons)....my parents & other uncle stayed with my grandparents but in all these yrs, I witnessed my grandpa's side of discussions wherein only his son's interests were at his heart....on the other hand my dad & uncle's frustration too as they felt invaded.....life went on.....But in last 6 months when my grandpa was on the sickbed he kept feeling guilty that he couldn't keep the family united..he felt neglected by his sons ...& he kept himself killing everyday 'coz he felt, he was not needed in his son's life anymore...he died in my hands........

After 6 months of his death my aunt was detected to have cancer of breast..it's one yr now & she is on sickbed ...but she keeps crying & feels terribly neglected at her daughter in law's & son's actions.......(though they aren't that bad,justified in their own place)I've seen same lady feeling frusrated for same reasons when she was a daughter in law & I'm seeing her feeling neglected for same reasons as a mother in law.....so I wish we could see this other side of the coin too...

I understand yaar, relationship is a complex thing which needs lifelong feeding from both the sides..I really didn't mean to hurt u all ...it was my impulsive reaction 'coz it's fresh in my life & I still see it everyday....Thanks & sorry if I hurt..!

Minnie, Agree with everything you said except one thing. She should not have left without telling Armaan. I did not like when she said there are only 2 ways, my way or your way. Armaan wanted to find out middle ground, wanted to talk and this lady simply took off. She wants to fight for her parents, fine. I admire her spirit. At the same time she has to see the other side. In situations like these the only way marriage will work is if they both leave their parent's house and start their life on their own.

Thanks jp for starting this topic. Road is not rosy when you have two different sets of parents to handle, especially When they have differences. It does not matter weather its arrange marriage or love. Our's is arrange marriage, still after 9 years and two kids we are at same point when they have differences. In my case rode was rosy few days before my marriage but when my father said no to few things during and after our marriage we saw true color of my in-laws. Even now if I forget my parents then they are happy but why? After knowing my in-laws nature my parents gave up just for our happy marriage life. They are trying their best to keep distance, which is not expectable to me and more to my husband (I love him more for his balance attitude).

In jjkn t & d is going to decide story but man I think they did hit right stone. TPR of jjkn will go more up as most of us go through this path.

Hi JP nice topic and thank you for starting it. In my opinion, the most important thing required to sustain a relationship is communication. Running away is not the solution to any problem. But normally to continue a story in a serial with masala and TRP boostings, it is quite necessary to have a misunderstanding between the hero and heroine. That is why this lack of communication is prevalent in almost all Indian Serials.

My marriage is a success mainly because we communicate a lot. If I have a problem, something which is difficult to accept, I don't run away, or I don't keep it my heart and sulk. I just ask my husband to sit beside me and we talk it over. In that way both our point of views come out in open and we come to a mutually agreed decision. Lucky for me, I never had to fight with my inlaws, my FIL died before my marriage and my MIL is a quite intelligent and educated smart lady who is helping me out a lot and takes my side in arguments with my husband. She and my mother are very good friends who share books and recipies and evening walks. And both of them are not staying with us but come visiting occassionally.

Jassi's feelings are quite normal, but the way she is dealing with the problem is quite immature. For a person who had gone through all these sufferings, we should expect a bit more commonsense from her. She just can't brush Arman away from her life like that. It ever can be a sacrifice, it will be mere foolishness only. She should understand the problems Arman is facing, like he is understanding her problems. She knows very well that Ila and Mallika were very close and she will find it very difficult to accept Jassi. Being a middleclass girl is no crime and it is high time she come out of her insecurities.

i must say this might be the only topic worth reading..

after watching jjkn for a yr and ending up wehre i started....this might be the only lesson i am learning from JP..and it seems ...worth it

its more on realistic side...

thanks u allllllllllllllllllllll

i'll keep this topic in my head

hey !

I agree when you ppl say that communication is imporatant in a relationship and i am a firm believer of it... but remember jassi this time cannot call armaan and tell him that your mother and your sister did this..... i dont really think that any one would believe anything said about their parents from a third person ( atleast i am like that ) unless that person knows them well....

for example is a couple is married for say 7 years then they would understand each other and each others in laws also well... and then they can believe each other talking about how their in laws are... because now both of them have known their respective in laws for more than 7 years.....

but if a newly married couple or a still dating couple talk about it then the first feeling which comes to mind is " He / she hasnt even met my parents or understood them " and leads to many complications...

I dont know if you will agree with me but this is what i think... so i think that jassi had no other option but to do what she did.....

Let me know what you guys think...

good points everyone, but as said before....relationships are very individual and handled very very differently (depending on one person to another)....generalising relationships cannot be the solution - we would have to see jassi and armaan from a different light ..........

by the way welcome back emma😊

woww.....guys i think this topic was really worth reading and something to learn from.....

thnx for all those experiences...i just wonder at times how you peopl are so definite while placing your thoughts or analysing a particular situation....its simply brilliant....

Facts are more interesting than fiction and real life experiences are vividly reflected in these postings.So young and so mature!