ArShi FF: Lifeless ||Chapter 3, Page 7||

Every part of her was breaking. His grip on her wrist was tightening. She screamed as the fiery pain of his hold reached her very core. Her forearm was already bruised from the previous night; and now, in his drunken state, it had started again. Hot tears rolled down her eyes; it was getting harder to breathe. However, despite the unbearable pain coursing through her every nerve, it was the little boy, huddled in the corner near the bed that she was concerned about.

She forced a smile to her lips as he dragged her across the floor. Smile. Smile. Smile for him. Smile for your baby. It was the only thought in her mind. In the moment her eyes locked with that small boy, she didn't care that death was calling out to her. The fact that this day might quite possibly be her last seemed small in comparison to the fear in that boy's eyes. His tiny fists were clenched tightly and his nails were digging into his baby skin. No! She thought. Don't hurt yourself. She needed to see her baby. She needed to tell him not to be scared; that momma would be ok. And even if she wouldn't, that she would always...ALWAYS be with him. She turned to her assailant. "Please..." she begged, trying to pry his hand off her wrist. "Rohan needs me. Rohan needs his mother. Please...don't do this." He froze. And in that instant, her whole body froze. She stopped breathing.

He turned around, a kind of madness in his eyes. "What the f*** did you say?" She turned to the little boy, who seemed to be frozen to his spot. "Our...our son; he needs me. Please." His eyes flickered momentarily to the child, and then turned back to his captive. "What he needs, b****, is discipline. Come here, boy" he growled. Her heart screamed with fear. She knew what would happen next. She shook her head, motioning for Rohan to stay still. He chuckled, unfazed. "You wanted to see your son, didn't you?" He said as he dragged her towards Rohan. "Let me GO!" she screamed. She couldn't let her son see her this way. The blood dripping from her body told stories she never wanted to tell. With the last bout of strength she had left, she forced herself up from the floor. She raised his hand up to her mouth and bit it as hard as her body would allow. He roared in pain and pulled away for a fraction of a second. And it was all the time that she needed. She limped over to her son, taking him in her arms. "I'm okay, sweetie. I promise. Mommy is okay. You're mommy's brave little boy aren't you?" She whispered. "That's why mommy needs you to do her a favour. Take mommy's wallet; it's in her room right inside the closet and RUN. RUN as FAR as you can. We talked about this remember? I told you what to do if there was ever an emergency? This is an emergency Rohan. RUN." She kissed him on his cheek one last time. "I love you...NOW GO and DON'T LOOK BACK!"

Just as she pushed her son away, she felt two heavy hands clasp around her throat, choking her. She blinked back the darkness that was setting over her eyes as she watched her son leave, running as fast as he could from the damned house. She smiled. Now she was fearless. Her son was safe. It was laughable. Her 6 year old son was safer on the streets than his own home. But this was her reality. And now she had no fear. She rammed her elbow as hard as she could into his ribs, escaping from his clutches. Her eyes scanned the room frantically. She needed a weapon. She needed a weapon. And then she saw it - the metal statue. Knowing that this was her last hope at survival, she ran towards it, picked it up and hit it with all her strength onto the back of his head. Her hands worked faster than her mind. He was screaming in pain. His hand flew to his head. Red liquid oozed out. The 27 year old woman stood motionless, horrified at what she had just done. She hadn't meant to hit him so hard - just enough to get him to pass out. But there was blood...so much blood. The floor was a blanket of red. He slowly fell, first onto his knees and then forward, his eyes refusing to leave her face for even a moment. He was looking at her with a strange expression on his face - not anger...not fear...and certainly not repentance. His eyes seemed to burn into her very soul. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. He fell forward, his body falling limp at last.

And then everything was still. He wasn't moving. She wasn't moving. Was this a dream? It must be a dream. I am a murderer. I am a murderer. I am a murderer. It was the only thought replaying in her mind. Her son was gone. And now, she had murdered her husband. Murder it was such a strong word. It was such a dark word. Her entire life flashed before her eyes. Is this it? She wondered. Maybe some people just didn't find happy endings. She had just killed her husband. It didn't strike her that he possibly deserved it. No one deserved death, did they? Or maybe this was God's punishment for him. Her thoughts were a muddled mess of emotions. She couldn't think straight.

She didn't know how long she stood there, next to the unmoving body of her assailant and husband. It seemed like an eternity. A sickening feeling was building up in the pit of her stomach as reality finally hit her. Whether she wanted this or not...whether she had intended to kill him or not...it was done. There was no going back. How could she ever fit back into society with such a baggage? Who would accept her? She had no one. He had killed the only family that she had ever known -her father. She closed her eyes, shuddering. Her father was the only man that she had ever loved - had ever looked upon. And this man, now lying at her feet, had killed him. He deserves to be dead, she decided, stepping past him and limping over to the wall sized mirror. He deserves a punishment greater than death if there is one. Death came to him too quickly - too EASILY.She thought, disgusted. She gazed at her reflection. Khushi Kumari Gupta had aged. Her eyes were lifeless. Her body was frail. So this is what living with a monster for 7 years does to you, she thought, heart faltering. Seven years ago was the equivalent to another lifetime ago. She was a different person. Now she had experienced too much. She was no longer the innocent 20 year old girl who fantasized about romance and drowned herself in Mills and Boon novels. She knew better now. True love didn't exist. Love was painful. And there was no happy ending. She had been stupid to ever believe in the concept of love in the first place. At some point, she HAD fallen in love with her husband. But what had come of it? She lost her father, her body, her son, and even her self-respect.

If this is love, I'm glad I will never experience it again. She shuddered. She had learned her lesson. She sat down, resting her back on the wall behind her. Rohan would be home soon. He had to be. He would come for her. He would come for his mother. Suddenly, the exhaustion of the past 7 years seemed to hit her like a truck. She couldn't move even if she tried. It was too much of an effort.I'll just close my eyes for a second. Just for a little while. Just to get rid of the pain. Just for a second. As she closed her eyes, she let the darkness consume her. This was her reality.