Blast from the Past Thread #29 **Aana To Tha Hi** Pg 23, Epi 346 - Page 24

Originally posted by: indi52

episode 348

thanks, durga, for posting 348...

got to be one of my favourite ipk episodes.

first time i saw it, i remember leaping into a post with "she did it, oh yes she did it..."

i was proud of khushi... terribly. for scaling a barrier she had placed on herself in deep consultation with social norms... she had not yet made that essential connection between love making and love.. not realised, it's a little beyond sex and marriage.

sex is a physical act... marriage is a human made institution.

love and love making come from our hearts, our inner chords, what's in us, not what's told to us. or imposed upon us. when you make love, you unite with your lover, submit to a feeling, flow with it and say, i believe, i trust, i love.

sounds bizarre maybe, but to me the act of sex when shared between true lovers has always felt like more than just a physical act. though yes, it's all of sex too... the fun, the play, the physical craving, the tension, the yearning, the physical joy, everything.

i felt she made that connection at last. on the night of janmashtami, looking at radha krishna, thinking of pheres not done, she had hurt the man who loved her beyond himself... it became a question of sex when and what's right.

tonight she took it with just a little help from a devoted man, a very aroused devoted man, to what it really was... love making.

desire at its most beautiful.

i totally fell for the beginning of the episode. that corny, sexy dance. youthful, vibrant, speaking of desire in its own way. nothing shy or timid or unadult about it. a woman was out to tell a man, he was hers... no fooling around with chudails.

otherwise, cat fight and murder was on the cards.

he loved that open wanton wanting of hers... strangely it seemed to soothe him, filled him with joy, made him want to share what he had wanted to all along with her...

her stars.

and then one thing led to another... she couldn't stay away this time. not even when he was willing to let her go.

one night before that forced remarriage of theirs (yes, if any marriage was forced in ipk, it was this one), before the social go ahead to "it", she stroked his cheek with loving hands and said, i know, i understand, i trust.

khushi's submission to me has major subtext. in a scenario where sex is almost treated as a big bad thing and even married couples are shown to abstain for all sorts of cooked up crazy reasons.

but the thing is... neither is marriage all about sex, nor is sex only about marriage.

that inner element of this act... its emotion, its purity, its essence... episode 348 brings to light that. and makes it a part of their entire love story, right from that moment they met... and felt.

with grace, beauty, and absolute headiness. had no marriage taken place the next day... had no marriage ever taken place... even then it would be love making and the two of them, lovers. true ones. real ones. the kind television usually has no idea about.

Originally posted by: indi52

thanks, bhavi,

glad you enjoyed. yeah, gandharva pratha... still valid in many circumstances apparently.

and really, i loved that rant of his on the terrace about rituals being all important, and no thought for the individual, for emotion. maybe because i get fed up with form too... and really we as a society i think are losing all touch with the essence of things... it's all about the outside.

your ponder re would he have come if this night had not happened, my feeling... he would have. he'd have struggled with the knowledge of amma and maa... but ultimately he would have come... the love he had for her could deal with even his worst nightmare and it was really too absolute for him to deny it.

that she came and showed hhim her complete trust in him of course had a huge impact on him. but had she not even... he would have not been able to stay away.

so just as he had returned another time and agreed to marry her, his legally wedded wife... i think he would have come to the mandap too... angry upset raging but unable to deny the emotion that had taken hold of him.

aana toh tha hi, as he said.

Originally posted by: aarwen

Episode 334 - 335

"Kuch nahi ho tum".. Though gritted teeth he spat at the man who claimed to have a right on his di.

Though the scene was a little too much drama shama, as Sohara would put it, for me, I was cheering for our man.

Anjali was married to Shyam. That itself meant ASR had trusted Shyam. Enough to see di with him. Time and again we were shown he also respected his jeejaji's judgment and there was a certain hero worship too. Not perhaps in the regular sense of the term, but ASR let Shyam take certain liberties. Pull his leg a little, even talk to him about how to indulge elders. And at times he was content to have Shyam take care of di and the family. At moments content to be a younger brother.

Di's happiness had screened Shyam's deceitful face from the otherwise sharp man. When he got to see how ugly Shyam's true self was, ASR no longer harbors any delusion. In fact, out of all the people in Gupta House and Shantivan, ASR seems to be the only person who remembers and reiterates how grave Shyam's crimes were.

Dadi needs a slap... And I am usually quite respectful of elders...

Has anyone even tried to tell dadi why Shyam was thrown out? He tried to kill Khushi and ASR. Her own grandson dammit! He had all designs on cheating on Anjali.

For all practical purposes dadi ignore abhyaan is on for me.

"Meri di ko aise insaan ki zarurat kabhi parh hi nahi sakti". Aah man stands strong in his conviction.

"Di ghar ja rahi hai thats it". He declares to the room. Since am ignoring a certain person, can't see her on screen or hear her arguments.

If I, who am hardly vested in the storyline, am getting highly frustrated with dadi, I can only imagine how ASR must feel.

"Ek baat main clearly sabko batana chahta hun.. Koi bhi.. And I mean it.. Koi bhi shaym ko is ghar mein wapas lane ki baat nahi karega.. Never again".. Hayee my ASR.. All you needed was a little dose of Shyam, to come back to your strong determined self.

His face off with dadi was as always fantastic. Just for that I will stop ignoring dadiji..

Sensible as always, even when a little unreasonable in his anger, he catches on the sly move of damaadji. So dadi is convinced about his undying faithful love for Anjali bitiya in one abruptly cut short meeting?

Dadi did have the decency to look a little chagrined. She knew all about what was going on in Shantivan, or atleast Shyam's twisted version of it, because he visited her in the ashram. I do think that is why from the initial minute she set eyes on Khushi she disliked her. Somehow Shyam had succeeded in poisoning her against the eldest bahuriya of the family.

Bless dear old nani and NK .. They did try to explain.. Shyam was bad.. par apparently dadi, who was in an ashram all these years, knows best.. And her hand goes up to halt all voice of reason.

Man's not buying it. His house. His rules. He means business. And, dadi was nowhere around while boy turned wonderful man and took responsibility for his di. So, what he says is not to be questioned, but adhered to strictly. He has had enough of being questioned by dadi, the man will do what he thinks is right for his di.

Straightforward and loosing patience now, he states, dadi knew nothing all those years ago and is equally clueless today. Ma was definitely not at fault, and di will not do any such thing, because one strong loving brother will protect her. No lying cheating husband is needed.

This time he even raised his voice while addressing dadi. And mentioned a court restraining order. He was clearly frustrated, and who wouldn't be? To think, he had touched her feet, and almost looked like a fourteen year old boy the first time he saw dadi standing in the hall of Shantivan. Childhood is long gone, Arnav Singh Raizada stands with legs squared apart, body thrust slightly forwarding, fighting for his di's happiness.

I did like Khushi questioning Arnavji in private. No harm in having a difference of opinion and her soft heart might get swayed by the show of tears. Maybe for someone like her it in incomprehensible to think that even after losing a child a man could be as ruthless to not have remorse. Sadly she does not know Shyam himself is the reason his child is dead in the first place.

What was interesting was ASR also did not refute that Shyam might have felt bad for having lost 'his rajkumari'.. Ughh.. Using this term makes me sick.. ASR was not saying Shyam was inhuman (which he pretty much is), ASR was simply saying he had no right to be near di. Also his practicality and instinct told him Shyam could never be trusted again.

After he declares his unflinching decision of not wanting to even consider the possibility of bringing Shyam back, in a tentative voice he asked Khushi.. "okay?" .. Even in this extreme situation he cares about what she thinks. He wants her consent.

One does not need to always have to say yes to you, or ask you if you had food, medicine. One can be abrupt and distant, but still love completely. Its these minute often unnoticed gestures that establish firmly the respect and care that ASR had for his pagal but cute girl.

I don't remember if Khushi apologizes later when we come to know Shyam was the cause of accident. She should, for having brought him back into di's life. Just as buaji should, for having forced Shyam onto Khushi.

We think we know what is best for our loved ones. We try really hard, none as hard as chote for his di. Life has this way of going as it wants to. Anjali will have to take her own decisions, make her own mistakes and continue to bear what is to come. Her chote won't let Shyam near his di, but Shyam is all that di wants.

And who can blame her? She has lost her little baby girl even before she could lay eyes on her. Her husband claims to love her faithfully and bear anything and everything to be next to her. She is human after all, and she wants to believe him desperately. Had she been stronger she would have trusted the harsh, but true words that ASR spoke of Shyam. She is not that strong. And she will have to suffer greatly for it.

Uncanny observant mami asks "Bhat happens".. Anjali is looking better in one hour.. Daljeet in this abla nari mode does look kind of frail and helpless damsel in distress beautiful..

Beseeching her chote, she says, she wants Shyamji.. How unshakable must the brother be to deny this plea of di, knowing it can only bring her to more harm! And who in Shantivan will understand his tough, but necessary decision!

Originally posted by: indi52

episode 336

"mat jao."

two words engulfed the episode. they felt genuine, they spoke of a feeling and they painted a man. they had a breadth almost nothing said here had and they had a sense of something fundamental in them. they had weight, in themselves and in the way they were spoken. without guile, with need. and almost as if they slipped out unpremeditated.

asr knows shyam is dangerous. he knows he can take care of his sister. he can fight the whole world to make sure shyam comes nowhere near di. he can lock horns with his obdurate grandmother, tick off his beloved wife, put security in place, take restraining orders, but what is he to do when the one he loves so much, the one he will shield with his life, says... give me back my husband. give me back shyam.

the dazed look on asr's face when his sister asked for what she did was difficult to watch. he tried to reason with her. she raved. i have accepted all your decisions always, now you listen to me, she said.

he couldn't bring himself to say no... or yes. he tried what he always does, to manage everything.

anjali's insistence and refusal to eat had everyone worried. was arnav wrong after all?

only one woman stood firm in her support. his nani. yes, he has got her genes, definitely. devyani raizada is both written with a certain integrity and jayshree t, despite heavy television soap make up and hair, does wonders with her nani. i believe her. i like what she says and what she does. she takes on dadi without any show of achhi nani-ness. you were not around, i took care of the kids... now suddenly you come and start blaming everyone. no, khushi bitiya is not like that.. and why the h are you comparing her to"woh aurat".

dadi's melodrama was unbearable. cartloads of dialogues stuffed in everyone's mouth to take the story forward. today was our day to learn of the other woman replete with teaser flashback of woman clutching hands while dadi with an even more stilted wig, rants.

i don't want to dwell on all that. because a very young man is really frustrated and emotionally weighed down tonight. he is feeling vulnerable and yet he is all protector. di has hurt him by that demand, by not trusting him, but he will never say that of her. he is perhaps also extremely fearful for her safety. he is angry. he is stressed. tonight he somehow even more alone.

he sits in his room, thinking of what his di just said, his dadi and what shyam threw at him one terrible night. his emotions muddle battle and peak. he picks up the vase and throws it. it breaks and shatters.

khushi walks in just then, worried, but somehow she has changed, she is now everyone's not just asr's. she is concerned about everyone, him included... but he, while being in charge of everyone, is curiously mainly hers, even only hers.

needs her badly.

unselfish and rarely evincing his need, he says nothing when she walks in and starts picking up the pieces of glass off the carpet. he sits and joins her... she looks at him surprised, tremulous. why does she not reach out to comfort him i wonder. when she is about to go, he reaches and holds her and turns her gently, making her sit by him. he asks her what the matter is. he had been in tears, but before joining her he has wiped them away. khushi is willing to show everyone her happy side, not her tears. he is more than happy to present before all his brusque, matter of fact, even angry side, never his tears. not even to khushi, because he perhaps doesn't wish to burden her.

she looks at him, a million frets on her face, looking childlike almost, very frayed... later i connected this to her going to get shyam. all the talk had obviously got to her, at various levels and touch points.

i liked seeing his hand resting on her lap.

she said haltingly, she was going home.

promptly came his simple two words, don't go. mat jao.

a plain pure need in them. he said it without any defence or barrier, almost like a child. hard to believe this man was yelling and seething faraq nahin padta all the time. this man could not show his feelings. but to her he can. and he does... mat jao. he needs just a bit of respite. a little love. someone to hold and heal against. just tonight.

she immediately started in a tone that indicated that was not possible.
he retracted quickly, just as he had wiped away the tear earlier... he didn't want to put her in an awkward position...

practise of many years i got the feeling. taking care of one's own self. one's one dard. for this was dard. almost as ache filled as the night of the terrace. his di doesn't trust his decision. and he knows shyam can't be trusted. he must take care of di. and then there was dadi to be contained too.

i wonder how much it hurt him, that won't listen to anything you say demand of his sister's.

khushi felt bad and said she could sit for a minute with him. years ago i remember shashi kapoor saying, "mere paas maa hai," in deewar. and even though he was my favourite actor, so handsome and heady... i knew that came out weak. tonight i felt that about khushi's "lekin ek minute ke liye baith toh sakte hain." a wonderful little moment created in those words and they could have been delivered with much more genuineness, emotion. her expression felt too pat.

they sat quietly arms around each other. the slightly low angle wide shot felt almost musical.

the next morning he stopped by her, again eyes concerned, noting her diffidence, her tears and kissed her on her forehead right there in the hall. this is a character that knows how to give the ones he cares for. but does that mean he needs nothing? is it a flaw of direction or writing that not once after di's bring back shyam andolan and while he looked as wretched as he did, did khushi put her hand out to stroke or touch him or even ask, are you okay? yes, she looked lovingly at her mehendi at night and remembered his "mat jao", but was that enough? and her thick loaded grief about di felt a bit unreal...

of course, we are being told, look at khushi, see how troubled she is... how much she loves di and hates to see a family in discord.. that's why she will bring back shyam. naturally, this is not enough, we shall devise a little more melodrama and then she will act.

sorry, big gap... if khushi loves so much, she must be also loving him, and she would show it in some way... not just keep looking fretful.

the juice drama, juice and medicine being the ultimate fix alls/go to props of ipk, in anjali's room was forced and silly. but then the whole situation is so contrived and in such bad taste, one really can't expect much.

i am glad he bared his heart... and said, mat jao.

Originally posted by: Horizon

Lovely piece indi.. if there were moments that made this love story transcend the confines of fiction and entered realism.. felt life like .. this is certainly one of them..everything about it was musical as u said including that hand in her lap that caught my attention too.. the minute she couldn't stay back and he realized she can't...this entire set up pf this remarriage looked even more hoax...she is his wife.. isn't she.. lived in that room with him for 6 months. now for God knows what the purpose rituals.. she can't be there for him the night he needs.. what a pity..


Khushi by this time is totally turned to a some one for whom family, or rather the false notions of the family are on a higher pedestal than her arnavji.. didn't she know what akash and mamiji were not happy about bhai's decision in that room were base less. they both atleast akash had NO clue how jijaji is, how can she base her decisions based on such people's remarks?!) remember this is the girl who wanted to work for AR the next morning of guest house inspite of many warnings/ requests from buaji and jiji..but I do sympathize her for all the undue discrimination she had to face with dadi...not called for..

ofcourse she didn't seem as possessive for him as he felt for her..

beautifully said about the whole setting indi.. all edits, esp, those b &w ones and the last one musical indeed...that room.. that ambiance.. sings for him.. feels for him.. it always felt like.. ofcourse it was HIS home.. and this is the only place he had found any solace than with anyone perhaps..