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Entry #8

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

Genre: Tragedy

THE PRICE OF HAPPINESS

"It's Pa-Pa! Pa-Pa!" Arnav said stressing every syllable while ten month old Ayush observed him intently. Ayush opened and closed his mouth trying to repeat those words and finally shouted "Vava!" Arnav heaved a heavy sigh as Ayush grinned at him. Anjali who was sitting next to them laughed out loudly whereas Kushi, who was seated on opposite couch, didn't bothered to raise her gaze from the book she was reading.

Arnav looked at Kushi and an interesting thought crossed his mind. "Ayush, say maa." Kushi's eyes stopped moving over the printed lines as soon as she heard Arnav's words but still she didn't look up. Pointing his tiny finger at Kushi, Ayush said "Maa!" Kushi closed her book with a heavy thud and stood up to leave.

Arnav handed Ayush to Anjali and caught hold of Kushi's hand. "Kushi, he called you maa! Don't you feel happy? Even he pointed..." Arnav's excited words got interrupted as Kushi released her hand from his hold harshly.

"Stop it, Arnav! Why should I feel happy? First of all, who is he to call me maa?' He is not my child! MY CHILD IS DEAD." Kushi shouted and then gulped the lump that had formed in her throat before continuing again. "My Arushi is no more but I still love her unlike you. I can't accept some stranger as my child. No one can replace my Arushi." Kushi said in disgusted tone before leaving to her room.

Arnav banged his fist on the wall. "chotey!" Anjali placed her hand on his shoulders trying to calm him down but got shocked seeing so much anger in his eyes. "Look at her, di. She is talking like I have never loved Arushi." He paused as his throat constricted with pain. "I am doing everything for her, di. Why can't she understand it?" He asked Anjali before leaving.

Anjali hugged frightened Ayush tightly as she herself got scared witnessing Arnav's fury after four years. In childhood, Arnav was a calm child. But things became upside down when their father left their mother. He became rude and arrogant. Anjali always got worried about her younger brother. But her mother consoled her saying when tragedy happens in a life, we should not give up but instead must have faith in god. He will do miracles and will correct everything.

Miracle did happen. Kushi came into his life stuffing it with happiness. Anjali never understood how come the bubbliest girl of the college fell in love with most arrogant boy of the college. Sure, it was a miracle. When their life was filled with glee, another tragedy happened. Kushi's parents and Arnav's mother died in an accident on their way to some pilgrimage.

This time both, Arnav and Anjali, lost faith. But it was Kushi who still believed that miracle will happen even after losing her parents. Again miracle happened; Arushi. She was an angel who turned her arrogant father into most humble one and her cheerful mother into more cheerful one. But no one expected that one day she will become a real angel and will cause so much pain to her parents.

***********

Arnav watched the stagnant water on the pool as wind brushed his face. His life was nothing but a tragedy. He had always paid huge price even to stay happy just for few days. Nothing came into his life without a price; even Arushi. Kushi acquired a rare case of infection after her c-section. They said it happens for one in a million. Kushi was in ICU for a week before doctors discharged her saying Arushi is going to be their only child.

It didn't make them sad or disappointed. Infact, nothing in this world has the power to make you sad when you have your beautiful daughter in your arms. Every moment they spent with their daughter was bliss. Arushi was papa's girl. He loved Arushi more than anyone and Kushi too knows it very well. But now she thinks that he doesn't love Arushi anymore.

What can he do if the fate decides to separate a three year old kid from her parents? Is it his mistake?

"vava!" Arnav wiped his tears hearing Ayush's voice and turned to Ayush who immediately jumped from Anjali to him. Ayush yawned sleepily and rested his head on Arnav's shoulder. Arnav kissed his forehead before starting to pat him. "When is your flight, di?" Arnav asked after Ayush fell asleep.

"Tomorrow morning. Chotey, I talked with your brother-in-law. He is fine if I come back here. So after attending the wedding, I will directly come here." Anjali replied to Arnav who nodded. "Then there is no problem, di. It's just a matter of three days. I can manage my work from home and take care of Ayush at the same time." Arnav said to Anjali.

"chotey, don't take me wrong. But don't you think it will be better if we send Ayush back to the orphanage?" Anjali questioned him earning a shocked expression from him. Arnav and Kushi's life became hell after Arushi's death. Anjali was desperately praying for some miracle to happen when Arnav said that Ayush is going to be their miracle. Arnav accepted Ayush with open heart for Kushi's happiness while Kushi refused to do so.

Anjali came here to look after Ayush. Twenty days has passed but still Kushi didn't even look at Ayush properly. "You brought him here for Kushi's happiness. But everything is happening up-side down. Before Ayush came, she at least talked with you though she was upset. Now she has stopped even talking with you. I am scared for her." Anjali justified her view.

"She has to come out of this misery, di. Almost a year has been passed since Arushi died. Kushi cannot spend her whole life thinking only about Arushi. When our mom died, I too gave up. But it was Kushi who taught me there is a life even after your beloved's death. She taught me to live again, di. Now it's my turn to do the same." He said determinedly.

"And also Ayush had become part of our life. I don't think I can live without him anymore." Arnav said caressing Ayush's head. "That's true. Ayush is such a lovable kid. I don't know why can't she see it?" Anjali said disappointedly.

"Because she is a mother; Arushi's mother. But don't worry di, she will surely accept Ayush one day." Arnav assured Anjali confidently. "How are you so sure about it?" Anjali enquired him.

"She will, di. Because she is a mother; A mother."

**************

Kushi traced the photo of Arushi as her tears fell on it. "Did you see what happened, Arushi? Some outsider is calling me maa.' You never liked it when I even lift some other kid. You used to cry and fight with me until I leave that kid. Why were you so silent when he called me maa'? Why didn't you come back and say I am your only child and I only have the right to call you, maa.' Why are you silent? I am only your mother; Arushi's mother. Only you can call me maa." Kushi wept more. "Why did you leave your mother and go, Arushi? Why? I am not able to live without you."

*************

Next day...

Kushi looked at Arnav who was playing with Ayush. Anjali used to feed milk to Ayush at ten in the morning. Now it's fifteen minutes to eleven. Did Anjali forget to tell about milk to Arnav? Or did Arnav forget it? Poor child, he must be hungry.' Kushi felt restless. She is not able to see him in her daugther's place but that doesn't mean she hates him. All she wanted to do was to stay away from him.

"Arnav, do you want some tea? I am going to make it for me." Kushi said making Arnav confused. "tea? At this time?" Arnav asked puzzled. "Anjali di used to feed milk to Ayush at this time. She also makes tea for us along with his milk. So I got used to drinking it. Do you want it or not?" Kushi said emphasizing more on first sentence.

"Oh, its Ayush's feeding time. I completely forgot it. Di asked me to feed him at ten. He must be hungry. Sorry, Ayush. Forgive papa." Arnav said in tone mixed with regret and panic and went to kitchen to boil milk. Only after feeding Ayush, Arnav realized two things: Kushi didn't bother to prepare tea for herself though she wanted to and Anjali never drinks tea.

************

Next day...

Arnav looked up from his laptop when Kushi came and stood in front of him. "I was making coffee for myself when I realized that you had forgotten to feed Ayush today also. So I prepared milk for him." Kushi said handing him the feeding bottle. "So today it's coffee!" Arnav murmured while Kushi asked what he was saying. "I said Thank you'. I was so immersed in the work that I completely forgot about the milk." Arnav apologized sincerely as if he didn't forget it purposefully.

"If you can't do something properly then don't do it. Orphanage people would have taken care of him better than you." She commented harshly and turned to leave when Arnav spoke. "True. This is not an easy job as I imagined. Also di's mother-in-law is not well. She is not coming back any soon. So I have decided to hire a full time maid to look after him. What do you say?" He asked her knowing very well that she hated the idea of leaving kids under maid's care.

They both turned hearing some sound and noticed Ayush was playing with toy cars. It reminded Kushi of Arushi. Arushi too loved cars and played with them just like Ayush was doing. Everything about this child reminds her of Arushi and causes her more pain. "Why are you asking me? He is your child! Do whatever you want. But if you think that I will take care of him, then I am sorry. Because I have better jobs to do." She said firmly and left.

Arnav immediately called his sister and asked her to cancel next day's flight ticket. Arnav too didn't like the idea of leaving Ayush under supervision of some maid. But he is sure that Kushi will not let anything happen to Ayush. After all, she is a mother.

*************

Three days later...

Has Arnav gone mad? That girl doesn't even seem to have crossed twenty years and Arnav had hired such an inexperienced girl to take care of Ayush. Idiot!' Kushi muttered as she heard Ayush's crying voice. "He is crying for past twenty minutes. Poor child, his throat would have been dried up by now." She said before walking out of her room.

She grabbed the child from new maid and scolded her. "If you don't know how to handle a child then why did you took up this job? Today I will teach you how to handle him and from tomorrow you have to take care of him. I won't help you." Kushi cautioned the maid.

************

Two weeks later...

Ayush giggled as Kushi tickled his bare stomach. The maid passed Ayush's dress to Kushi. Kushi dressed Ayush lovingly before turning to the maid. "Look, don't go and say to your boss that it's me who is taking full care of Ayush. Then it will be you who will be at loss because he will fire you." Kushi said warningly while the maid nodded her head obediently.

**********

One month later...

Arnav was getting ready for his office and Kushi was busy playing games on her phone. Arnav was about to leave when he noticed that Ayush was standing with joined hands in front of small devimaiya's statue in their room. Arnav knew that Ayush has just learned to stand on his own but he was surprised seeing him in a praying posture.

"Oh god, my baby is praying." He shouted excitedly and lifted Ayush from the floor before showering him with kisses. "Papa!" Ayush said in reply. Ayush had started to call him papa'; all thanks to the new maid. "Who taught you to pray?" Arnav asked and Ayush gave him a toothy grin before pointing towards Kushi. "maa!"

Kushi raised her gaze from her mobile to meet Arnav's. She simply stared at him until Arnav withdrew his gaze. "Yeah, that's your maa. But who taught you to pray? Did that didi taught you this?" Arnav asked him as Ayush began to sing in his own language.

As soon as Arnav left for office, Kushi ran to Ayush. "You, naughty. You are reporting about me to your father?!? I am not going to spare you." She said and began tickling him. Ayush started to laugh and rolled on the bed. Kushi too laughed and kissed his cheeks lovingly. She looked up to see Arnav standing near the door.

Arnav wiped his first tear with his thumb as soon as it came out of his eyes. "I forgot to take my phone." He announced before taking his phone. Kushi went to him as he turned to leave. "Actually Arnav..." Kushi began but he silenced her.

"Don't say anything, Kushi. This is enough for me. This is all I wanted." He said as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "You don't know how much contented I feel today seeing you laughing like this. This is enough for me, Kushi. This is enough." Kushi hugged him as their tears got mixed with each other's.

*************

Three months later...

"Arnav, do you know what Ayush did today?" Kushi asked excitedly opening the door for Arnav. "Di, you are here? Wow." She shouted before giving a hug to Anjali. "Come in, di." Kushi invited and went in. Anjali was delighted to see old Kushi. "She has become normal. Is it because of Ayush?" Anjali asked as they entered the house. "Yes, but give some credits to your brother also!" Arnav said making Anjali to hit him fondly.

As soon as they entered the living room, Kushi showed him a photo making him tensed. It was his favorite photo of Arushi. Just before the photo was clicked, three year old Arushi kissed him on his cheeks, surprising him, while Kushi laughed witnessing it. This photo was remembrance of their happy moments.

Kushi showed the photo in front of Ayush who looked at it with full concentration. After a minute of observation, he pointed his fingers on Kushi's picture and said "maa!" Arnav looked at Kushi in surprise when she explained "I didn't teach him. He itself found the photo in the cupboard and brought it to me shouting maa!'"

Arnav picked Ayush in his arms and kissed him. He then showed his image on the photograph. "And who is this?" Ayush looked at it for few seconds before turning away. Kushi and Anjali laughed while Arnav groaned. After having dinner, Kushi noticed Arnav standing alone with his back to her. Moving closer, she noticed that he was staring at their family picture and tracing Arushi with his fingers.

Nothing has changed. Neither had they forgotten Arushi nor Ayush had replaced her. The pain of losing a child is still fresh in their hearts. It tortures them every day and night. First they thought that it will vanish with time. Now they have realized that this pain is not something which will vanish with time but it's a pain which stays till your last breath; pain of losing one's child.

But the good thing is she had understood Arnav more now. Though he was the one who was more affected with Arushi's death, he still came out of it and also made her to do so. Their love has become stronger. Arnav had taught her one important thing by bringing Ayush into their life.

Pain is unavoidable but suffering is optional.

So nothing has changed. The pain has not reduced. It's just that they have started to live again happily with their pain.

"Our daughter loved you more than me!" Kushi said standing next to Arnav. Arnav nodded carefully so that his tear doesn't fall down. Ayush came running towards them and Kushi picked him up. "But it's me who our son loves more than you!" She declared with a pride. As if proving it true, Ayush noticed the photo in Arnav's hand and pointed towards it shouting "Maa! Maa! Maa!"

"Shut up!" Arnav said in an annoyed tone and hid the photo behind him. "Someone is jealous!" Kushi said mockingly while Arnav denied it. Kushi laughed watching Arnav's expression while Ayush too joined her without knowing the reason. "Oh god, this mother and son will definitely make me mad!" Arnav said and tried to move but Kushi hugged him with Ayush in her hands.

"When you are jealous, you look like such a cute kid that I want to pull your cheeks like this, Arnav." Kushi said pulling Arnav's right cheek. "I am not jealous!" He almost shouted but then stopped when Ayush pulled his other cheek just like his mother was doing. He couldn't help but smile. "He may love you more, but he loves me too." Arnav said hugging his dear wife and son.

Entry #9

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

Genre: Tragedy

Love's Perfection

She sat there with tears streaming down her eyes dressed in white.

*****

They just had another fight.

You know the ones that were hurtful and he yelled,

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections...

I love you dammit!"

Khushi sat on the wall thinking about this statement. How dare he? Arnav had just told her this, but did she believe it? Would he really change? Could she look beyond his imperfections and continue with this so called marriage contract?

He finally admitted he loved her, but wait a minute, he also just admitted he had imperfections. The great Arnav Singh Raizada admitted he had flaws.

He must really love her, she thought.

Her heart hurt so much. How dare he? How could he so nonchalantly say that everything doesn't have to be perfect and she should accept him and look beyond all the imperfections? Imperfections? Is he crazy? He has so many personality flaws she thought.

Her mind started to wander, she inhaled deeply and flushed. Physically he was a perfect male specimen, gorgeously handsome, with a well-chiseled muscular body, puppy dog chocolate brown eyes, kissable lips, uggh!!

"Bas, Khushi, bas, what are you doing?" She asked herself.

She was crazy about him.

But the last six months had been a living hell from the time she was forced to marry him until even today. Nahi, ever since she had met him, her life had been tragic. He never failed to cause her pain.

Love was supposed to be easy, wasn't it?

She always felt as if the love of her life would bring her roses and keep her smiling. She would see him everywhere and the stars would twinkle above with brightness shining upon their love. The trees around her would sway as the winds blew softly and the birds would sing a sweet melody, as her and her love would picnic on the grass.

Yes, that was her idea of love, not this travesty of a marriage.

He was such a rakshas. He pained her everyday. There never was a peaceful moment for Khushi, she never knew what mood Arnav would wake up in.

She thought of the time when they first met many years ago as children. Their relatives owned stores behind each other and Khushi and Arnav played in their respective back yards, sneaking peeks over the fence at each other. He was a few years older than she was and although they didn't speak to each other, they grew comfortable with each other just knowing that the other one was across the fence. But he was mean to her, even back then. She would play with her ball and sometimes it would go over the fence. He wouldn't return it to her until she was crying. He never smiled at her; instead, he made scary faces at her. She felt frightened and would run to her Buaji. As they grew older he use to run to the factory from school knowing she was there waiting for him but he never showed her he cared about her and one day when they were older he just didn't come. She cried all day and all night. He had left for school in the Americas leaving her all alone without even saying goodbye.

Khushi was devastated.

She met him again later after accidently banging into his car with her scooter. He got out of the car screaming and she too was screaming when they looked at each other and suddenly both stopped. Deep chocolate eyes bore into almond hazel ones, a moment of time passed, silence surrounded them and neither horns blaring, nor voices were heard, a quiet recognition.

Dhak, dhak, heartbeat to heartbeat,

they realized whom the other was. For a brief moment she smiled, he looked away. He then turned to her, placed some money in her hand and got in his car and drove away. She felt sad, insulted and he had hurt her again.

Khushi was on the way for a job interview when the accident occurred so she hurriedly got back on her scooter and headed to her destination,

ASR Designs. When she got there she ran into the washroom to freshen up, her encounter with Arnav flustered her. When finished she was escorted up to the boss's cabin. As she walked up the steps slowly, tentatively, she had a funny sensation in the pit of her stomach

.

The huge glass enclosure before her held her future.

It was the first time she would work outside of her family business trying to bring in extra income to help her family situation. Ever since her sister's marriage broke and the embarrassment it brought to the family she had to try to bring in money to support her and her sister since they moved in with their widowed Buaji. She had done some odd jobs here and there, baking and making desserts for private parties but that was few and far between. She finally reached the door to the boss's cabin, hesitantly pushing the door open, she faced the back of a black Corinthian leather chair. In front of the chair was a massive glass desk with neat piles of papers and a slim laptop and the phone was off its caddy and she heard a stern voice saying,

"I don't give a damn, I want them here on my desk by 4:00 today! Got that?"

She nearly jumped out of her skin as the chair swung around and he slammed the phone back on its caddy. He looked up at her and she wide eyed looked at him and they both simultaneously said,

"Thum? Aap?"

They couldn't believe it. It was as if fate was playing a game with them bringing them together not once but twice in a day! She went to turn around to leave and he took a deep breath and said,

"No wait..."

"Stay."

"Please stay."

All the anger he had for her went away as he looked into her almond shaped hazel eyes bringing back all the memories of childhood. How safe and secure he felt knowing she was just beyond that fence and how he wanted to protect her. Emotions flooded back.

She was angry and wanted to remain so but just couldn't. This was the boy turned man who was always there for her. He may not have known it then but she knew it now, she felt secure and safe with him. She had always loved him.

*****

She sat there with tears streaming down her eyes dressed in white remembering the time she had with him. All the fights and rejections, even the physical discomforts she knew he didn't mean, it was just his way. Expressing his love was something he didn't even know how to do and sometimes it came out wrong.

But she will never have that opportunity to love him any more; she will only have that one moment in time when she had a lapse in judgment. When she gave herself wholly to him without any regrets. That time when they went to his farmhouse, of course angry at each other as always, she let her guard down for just an instant after seeing the beauty of the farmhouse. It was very quiet there and nature's trees, the vast blue sky and beautiful flowers were the landscape for the picnic they were going to have.

They had a fight in the car, they always fought, they never agreed on anything especially the Divine. But here in this beautiful place the Divine existed how could it not? She had a huge smile on her face and this seemed to melt him. He calmed down and helped her spread out the blanket on the ground.

Their afternoon actually went pleasantly and they ate together even at one moment Khushi fed him with her hands and he readily accepted without any animosity. He stared into her eyes as she placed the morsel of food on his tongue. She licked her lips, full and pink and he swallowed hard. Arnav saw a strand of her hair flying away and ever so gently reached out to tuck it behind her ear. She could hardly breathe and that is when he kissed her for the first time and Khushi responded back.

They made love in the field under the blue sky in the open arms of nature. No one was around for kilometers, they were safe and free to be a part of nature. All of Khushi's hesitation and embarrassment was gone at that very moment, for she loved this man whom she was forced to marry. She wasn't ready to accept his proposal but her family had pressured her and she did, with the knowledge that there was a connection from way back.

As he gently tucked her hair behind her ear, he slowly kissed her cheek which lead to his gaze searching her lips. When finally he captured them it was as if the heavens opened up and all the sparks he held tight inside ignited to set the roaring fire ablaze deep within. Passionately he took her in his arms and flipped her below him as he kissed her. She too was in bliss and pulled him closer wanting him deep within. She didn't understand the sensations she was feeling but knew that she wanted more.

His eyes questioned hers, waiting for consent to go further, to consummate what was his to take. She looked away and he touched her cheek forcing her to look at him. She hugged him tight and he knew she also wanted this. Ever so slowly he removed her earrings first, then bangles, then waistlet his eyes never leaving hers.

She wanted him and he longed for her and that day they spent on the meadow making love was all she had.

Love's Perfection.

He was gone forever now.

No longer will he be there to fight with, the terrible accident took him away from her in this lifetime...she would have to wait for the next.

She sat there in white, her lone tear falling down her cheek and suddenly her stomach lurched.

She felt queasy,

"What's this" she thought?

Running to the bathroom she emptied what little was in her stomach.

As she sat on the floor in the bathroom she realized...

He hadn't left her after all.

*******

The tragedy is that love is not always perfection but it is in the imperfections that we learn to love each other abundantly, accepting each other just the way we are. Don't let it be too late.

Entry #10

"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

Genre: Romance

Sources of Light

It was two in the morning when I entered our room.

Our. Was it, really? Why was my wife sleeping outside then, by the pool?

It was dark. Why would she always switch off the poolside light which I would, every night, take an effort to switch on? She was afraid of the dark, for heaven's sake!

But the answer was simple. It was her way of rebelling against this set up, this sham of a marriage!

This morning, at exactly 12:15 AM, we completed one whole month of our pretend-marriage.

I wanted to laugh at myself. Arnav Singh Raizada and remembering dates?

But how could I forget the date and the time when I had dragged her to the temple and forcefully married her, looking into eyes full of hurt and confusion?

And more importantly, how could I overlook this date and time, when I learned that all the things I thought I perfectly understood, were nothing but misconceptions?

Lies. I chose to believe lies over an innocent. Over my own love.

Lies which I believed because I thought love was too good to be true, and that everything revolved around only one thing. Money.

How wrong I had been. How selfish I had been.

And in the process, I had hurt many people, including myself. But the one whose heart I literally tore into shreds with my own bare hands, was her. My khushi.

I reached the glass door and wondered how to approach her. She was facing the other way, and her body was shaking. She was crying.

I closed my eyes in frustration and guilt. My chest pained... like it would do every night.

Every night. Every night, I helplessly watched her cry from my recliner.

She would pretend to sleep at first, and then, when she would be sure that I was fast asleep and not watching her through the glass doors, she would silently shed tears. Some nights, she would lay still and I would only get to know that she's crying when she, at regular intervals, would raise her hand to her face to wipe her tears.

Some nights, she would look at the stars, talk, and cry only a little before falling asleep. I would call them the relief days'.

But some nights, much like this one, her whole form would shake while she cried herself to sleep...

These were the worst kind of nights for me.

I had tried to bring her inside after the first few nights of the torture that I had bestowed upon her. But she had refused, and taunted me with a, "But I thought this was my place. And I shall listen to my husband like the good wife that I am."

Not wanting to use words of persuasion and alarming her of my worry for her, I remember just sighing in frustration and then walking off. The only thing that comforted me was that she had, by then, shifted to the recliner by the pool, and had started using the comforter.

Since then, every time I had even wandered near the subject, she had reminded me of the same thing or something on similar lines.

While it felt like someone was punching me in my gut every time I'd see her cry, today...today it was worse. Maybe...maybe because I knew what a beast I had been. Maybe because I was wrong in my belief, that I write my own destiny. Maybe because I knew I hurt her beyond redemption. Maybe because I knew she'd hate me even more when I tell her the truth behind the marriage.

Taking a deep breath, I reached for the door handle and slid both the leaves open, the action making a loud noise and stilling her. I saw her quickly wiping the tears and adjusting herself in a position in which her face would be much less visible.

I walked up to her, and stood watching how her skin shone in the moon light. I knew I was making her uncomfortable, but I just didn't know what to say or how to say. How does one say such things?

"Khushi?" I softly said, the choke in my voice surprising me. I knelt down in front of her.

She ignored me, and continued to feign sleep. So I tried again, this time, touching her arm lightly. "Khushi?" My voice came out as a whisper, but she opened her eyes and looked directly at me, unnerving me.

Red. Her eyes were still wet and the red shone from it with so much crying. I felt a shiver of pain pass thought my heart. And then another when she sarcastically said, "What? Do you want me to act like your wife? Is your Di here to pay a surprise visit?"

She must have, by then, realized the strong stench of alcohol and my bloodshot eyes because she backed a little bit. She maintained a calm and confident faade, but I knew that I had surprised her. "Khushi..." I tried again, hoping more words would come. I reached for her hand to feel her warmth, but as soon as I managed to hold it, she snatched it back.

"What are you trying to do?" she asked, now sitting up in an upright position, her face, shocked. I tried again, my eyes pleading her, to reach for her hand. I needed some kind of contact with her. I needed it, to say what I was going to say. For what if she decides to walk off, run away, like she had done so often in my dreams?

But it hadn't hurt until then. It hadn't felt like someone had just slashed my heart until she said, with her eyes blazing fire, "Don't touch me."

A husband being denied the touch of his wife, don't I deserve it?

I sighed and withdrew my hand. Her face relaxed a little, but not quite. "Khushi..." I started again, to get near the subject. But I just managed to ask, "Why...why do you always switch off the lights? I thought you were..."

"I'm not anymore." She said bitterly, obviously lying. "You took care of it."

"I made you not scared of the dark?"

"No," she said casually, "I'm just scared of other kinds of darkness now."

"Like?"

"The darkness of the future." She said and looked away, her eyes welling up, just like mine.

"Khushi...", I reached for her hand again, but withdrew before she could realize it. "Are you going to leave me once the contract is over?" I whispered.

She turned to me, and looked taken aback a bit, but schooled her expressions, and asked, "Why are you even asking that?"

"Please don't." I pleaded and buried my face in her lap, breaking my promise to not to touch her. She stilled.

"What?" she whispered, after a while.

"Please don't leave me." I said in a choking voice, my head still in her warm lap.

"Why?" she asked in calm tone.

"Because...I made a big mistake, Khushi." I said, raising my head from her lap. "I never should have believed what I saw. I had been so, so wrong. Forgive me, Khushi. Please, forgive me."

She narrowed her eyes in confusion, but soon, realization dawned upon her. "I'll explain..." I started, but she cut me off.

"Arnav ji, can you please leave?" When I looked at her with confusion, she explained, "Please leave me alone, for now."

"Khushi but..." I said, but she had already looked the other side, putting the comforter over her head, dismissing me.

I wanted to stay there. Watching her. But she wanted to be left alone, so I walked to our bedroom, but left the glass door open.

I watched her the entire night.

I don't think either of us slept.

****

The next week saw her avoiding me.

I knew she wasn't purposefully doing it. But up until now, we had planned our days in a way such that our paths won't cross much.

I did have my ways to check upon her though. But now, that just wasn't enough.

And it was killing me.

When I would finally catch her eyes, she would look away instantly. When I would start a conversation, she would answer in monosyllables. And soon the conversation would be over and she would be gone before I even realized it.

She hadn't even let me explain the reason for our marriage in the first few days after that night. But two days ago, I had made her sit, and explained to her exactly what had happened.

She hadn't said anything except asking me about Di's plans and other concerns. All this, without even meeting my eyes once for more than a second.

She loathed me.

I started coming home early and somehow persuaded her to shift inside the room, telling her that Di often liked to wander to poolside at night.

I offered her the bed, but she took the grey recliner. I didn't argue.

At least I could look at her at night...

She slept facing the glass door, looking out from it, at the blue water and the sky. And I would look at how the moon light illuminated the side of her face, her neck, and a bit of her upper arm.

She wouldn't cry at night anymore.

But she would lay awake for the longest part of the night, just thinking.

I often wondered what she thought about. About us? About this marriage? About leaving me? I hoped not.

But I would lay awake for the longest part of the night just wondering what she was wondering about.

And every night, I'd make sure to keep the leave a little lamp on.

She had switched it off on the first day, but I had switched it back on. She had let it be after that.

And that's how two more months passed, with our days passing exactly like that.

It was time for AR's annual official tour to London. I could have sent Aakash, but I decided to go instead. She could use some time without me, I thought. She deserved it. She needed space. Perhaps the distance and the space would make her think clearly.

Because the questions still lay between us - what happens after six months? What do we have between them, right now? What about the past we shared, the future we might? What of the things we had gone through together? Could she leave, just like that? And if she decided to leave me...where would she go?

I tried not to think of that.

When I entered the room that night, I caught the sigh of her folding my clothes and transferring them to my side of the cupboard.

My heart warmed to see her do this kind of domestic duty, something which a wife would do for her husband.

I remember taunting her about it when I had first seen her doing it, right after our marriage. She had said something back, but had continued with it nonetheless.

Was it weird to be pleased to see someone care for your things, like it were their own?

She sensed him, for she stilled for a second, before continuing with the task.

"I'll be going for a business trip to London for about a week and a half." I announced.

"To London?" she asked softly, placing the set of clothes neatly on a rack before turning to me.

I nodded.

"When are you leaving?" she asked and turned away again.

"In two days." I told her, disliking how I couldn't see her face. "Will you be okay alone?"

She turned back to me and nodded before looking away.

I didn't know what made me feel disappointed. It's not like she would've asked me not to go.

But a small part of me wanted her to.

Two days later, it was time to leave.

The house help had told me that he had seen her gone up to the terrace.

The terrace held unpleasant memories for us. But surprisingly when I reached it, the picture I saw, made me believe thatthat memory was erased forever.

And the memory which shall remain with me would be of my wife, standing under the night sky, the moon light lighting her up.

There was something about her and the moon light which were so perfect together. And if I were a painter, I'd paint her under the moonlight, I thought while walking up to her.

But unfortunately, I wasn't.

She turned then. And I felt close enough to touch her.

"I'm leaving." I told her, watching her beautiful face. I put my elbows on the raining, and leaned on it, next to her.

She looked the other way. But after a while, when she looked back at me with had a soft smile playing on her lips. "It'sPurnima," she said, "Full moon."

Her smile must be infectious, for it made me smile too. "Yes, it is."

"Everything looks so bright during Purnima." She said, looking around, and then above. "Even the stars. I could never see them properly at Buaji's part of Delhi otherwise." She said conversationally.

It felt good to hear her speak in so many words...after so long.

She looked at me then, and caught me staring at her. So I turned my gaze up at the stars instead. "Remember how you once told me that our Amma and Babuji are stars?"

She nodded. "And you had asked me whether your mother is happy seeing you from up there."

"You remember?" I asked, pleasantly surprised that she remembered this detail of our shared moment. When she nodded, I asked, "So is she, happy?"

She looked at the sky again, as if it'd give her the answer. But it must've for she said, "Yes. She is happy. She smiles with pride when she looks down at you, at how far you've come in life."

"What does she think about my wife?" I asked, softly.

I couldn't have been entirely wrong when I saw her blush a little in the moonlight. "I think she likes her."

I smiled at her, hoping to stay rooted at the spot forever. To seize the moment. But it was time to go. "I need to leave." I said, again hoping that she'd stop me.

Her smile faltered a bit as she nodded.

"Keep the lamp on at night, okay?" I reminded her.

At this point, she looked right into my eyes, after eons, with so much longing, that I wanted to hug her tight and tell her that I'd never let go.

But I knew I didn't have the liberty to.

As her eyes welled up, she looked the other way, and in a choking voice, softly said, "Don't go."

Then she looked back at me, "Don't go, please. I can't...I can't stay alone at night."

Unable to trust myself with words, I just managed a smile...

"Besides, London is too far..." She added cutely, reminding me of her older, brighter self. She hadn't changed, after all.

Only she could give the oddest of the reasons for stopping someone, and only I could consider them.

That just made me smile some more.

"So will you go?" she asked, eyes big and voice hopeful. And one look at her face and all I could do was nod in the negative.

"Thank you." She softly said, and again looked the other way, but not before placing her right hand, very close to where my left was place, over the raining.

Hold my hand, I heard her say. But she hadn't put it in words at all.

I slowly placed my large hand over her small one, and soon her hand adjusted into mine, turning so I could I hold it more comfortably, more intimately. I intertwined my fingers with hers.

I turned to look at her face, and saw her still looking the other way, her eyes closed tight, fat droplets rolling down her cheeks. And her hand was holding on to the railing so tight that her knuckles were turning while.

I placed my other hand over that one and got her to loosen it a bit, took it to my lips and kissed it. "Stop crying, Khushi."

At that, she cried some more. This time, she raised my hand to her lips, her other hand joining the team, to sandwich my hand in between, and kissed it.

I closed my eyes in pleasure. But it was more of a bittersweet pain.

I knew I didn't deserve it, so much kindness from her.

But right now, I didn't want to think about it. Right now, in the moment, I just wanted to feel her touch, her warmth; and forget everything else.

Right now, I just wanted to be under the sky, with the light of the moon and our favourite stars shining down on us, and let our love be the guide...

****

Entry #11

"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

Genre: Romance

Virtue of Chastity

Dear Dairy,

Diwali, every person who is desi (Indian) awaits this celebration, unlike me. It was supposed to be my most memorable day. At least I thought so. It has been one but not the one I had ever imagined. I lost him; my first love; my Arnav 5 years back and my Diwali celebration ended forever.

Today he is going to be back once again here in Lucknow, 600 meters away from my house, with his girlfriend, Lavanya. It was a snap from their prom night that I saw few days ago. The girl was all over him. Lavanya, the tall, dusky, sexy woman was every man's dream. My heart started skipped a beat seeing his hand possessively wrapped around her petite waist and then the realization hit me. I was not even close to Lavanya.

"Khushi, where are you my love?", her mother called her.

Khushi quickly slammed her dairy and pulled the drawer to keep it inside. She locked the drawer and tossed the key inside her pocket quickly.

"Oh my love, you are still in your room? Can you please help me with the mithai (sweet)?" Her mother told Khushi while wiping her sweat buds.

"Mamma, what's the need for all these? Do you remember the doctor had asked you not to go to the kitchen? Maa, when will you take your health seriously? I nearly lost you". Khushi hurried towards her mother who was nearly in a fainting state and gather her in her arms. Cupping her tired face Khushi said, "Mamma, you don't need to do this. Anjali Di repeatedly warned you and said that she would arrange for the mithai from the shop".

"It's Arnav's favourite Khushi. He loves my gajar ka halwa, as it reminds him of his mother", she said caressing her concerned daughter's face.

Khushi remained quiet and looked down. Her mother pressed her hand and said, "Khushi, I want you to come to Raizada Mansion with me. Try to forget whatever had happened between you both in the past".

Khushi released her hand and got up. "Mamma, you know it very well that I don't celebrate Diwali and moreover I have moved on from that incident. The greatest proof is he left for US almost immediately without even giving me a chance to explain and he accused me. He said I did not protest when he broke the marriage because I had feelings for NK and all the while I played with his feelings. If he cannot distinguish what I felt for him and my feelings for my best friend then I am sorry we don't deserve each other. I thought our bonding was stronger than anything. But I was so wrong". Khushi turned her back towards her mother to hide her tears, which were threatening to fall". And now I see him happy with someone else. My love, my care, my warmth meant nothing to him", she said and ran towards her bathroom.

**

Arnav checked his watch for the one last time and gazed towards the woman next to him. Her hand looped around his arms and her head rested on his broad shoulders. How he wished her to be his Khushi instead of Lavanya. It was the sweetest dream he had 5 years back when he decided to say those three magical words to Khushi. All his dreams broke into pieces when he got to know that his Khushi choose her best friend over him.

It was Diwali and everyone was waiting for Khushi to join so that they can finally give a proper name to Arnav and Khushi's love. Arnav had a simple platinum band for her ring finger to seal their unsaid, unexpressed feelings. Like a fool he waited, waited and waited and when he finally decided to drive to her house keeping his ego aside for once, he was shocked to see Khushi in NK's arms. From the window it seemed as if they were kissing each other. That very moment he wanted to straggle NK to death. He felt like a fool to think that just like him Khushi would secure her first kiss for him only.

Arnav closed his eyes and wanted to erase her face for the last time but he failed miserably. All their memories came rushing in his mind. How she used to chirp around him? How she effortlessly made him laugh all the time with her antics? How she used to bring jalebi's for him. Initially none of her jalebi's formed a proper shape. But he still used to have them because once when she was 10 years old while making jalebi's she burnt her finger and she cried all day in pain. Seeing tears in her eyes he couldn't bare. He purposely burnt his finger and showed it to her. Forgetting her own pain she started nursing him with her tiny fingers. Then both of them placed their fingers side by and side and laughed thoroughly saying they cannot distinguish between which was whose. That was the very first moment they shared their first hug and Arnav exactly remember how he felt in her arms. She was tiny, a bit lanky but she had motherly warmth in her embrace.

His flight landed in Lucknow.

**

Raizada Mansion was filled with joy. Their youngest son was back after 5 long years. Everyone loved Arnav but they were dead against his decision. Anjali, his elder sister was especially angry on him because she thought it was Arnav who rejected Khushi whereas Arnav hid the truth from all so that no one pointed a finger towards his Khushi's character. He turned the situation portraying him to be the culprit. He said he did not want to get tied to someone so soon when there were better options available for him. When everyone told him that he and Khushi were made for each other, he simply said if they were, they would be the same after 5 years also. He anticipated some news about NK and Khushi tying knot or at least officially seeing each other within 6 months of his disappearance, but nothing of that sort happened till today. There were no news, no gossip; no Anjali weeping over her brother's state saying Khushi was a cheat. Initial one month Khushi kept on sending him emails questioning him, almost accusing him for leaving her like that, breaking off their marriage without even discussing with her and the worst he did not even let her know that he left to persuade higher studies. At the end of second month when she did not stop Arnav emailed her explaining his reasons. He wrote about the Diwali night what he saw and told her that it was enough for him to cut off all the ties with her. He expected a last and final email from her on her defense but none came. He waited and waited. But he never saw her name in his inbox.

After three years when he still could not erase her memories from his mind he planned to see other girls. His hunt began to replace Khushi's face with someone else just like she replaced him with NK but unfortunately Khushi's face started haunting him even more. The more the got involved with other females; the more he got to know what he lost. Khushi was not only a girl in his life but his life. He changed girlfriends like a woman changes her napkins, yet he couldn't find a substitute. Lavanya was the only female stuck to him for 3 months. She was officially the longest he had been dating just because she knew when and how to give him space. His thought broke when Khushi's mother came and stood in front of him.

Arnav pulled his favourite aunty into a warm hug and held her for long as if he was trying to seek comfort that he used to get it from khushi. But it did not happen and it left him frustrated.

"Son, I have got you your favourite Gajar Ka Halwa", Khushi's mother kissed Arnav on his forehead.

"Thank you", he said squeezing her in his arms and his eyes never leaving the entrance of the house.

Khushi's mother blessed him. He was hesitant to ask her about his point of interest due to his ocean like ego and decided to wait for few more minutes. When Khushi did not show up he rushed out of his house taking his car keys. He could hear everyone calling but he did not care. It was like madness that he wanted to see Khushi's face once. The girl he missed so badly. He never thought he would react like a lovesick puppy and crash his ego for someone who rejected him.

**

"I am so happy for your guys", Khushi genuinely smiled at NK while talking to Sheetal over the phone.

NK gave her a tight smile and held her hand.

"Finally, finally my dream came true. My best friend is marrying love of his life. You both are one of the luckiest people in this world to get the person whom you love the most", Khushi's eyes welled up thinking about Arnav's rejection.

NK immediately pulled her into a tight hug to soothed her pain. He had been her only support after Arnav's rejection when Khushi went through her most vulnerable phase. He knew everything and wished to explain it to Arnav. But Khushi stopped him by saying if Arnav cannot trust her, he is not eligible for any explanation.

The moment they broke the hug, both of them heard the clapping sound. Khushi and NK both turned to see the source of it.

Khushi's heart flipped seeing her Arnav after 5 years. He was a man now. A grown up, matured man. Everything about him was manly, his smell, his body language, his dress. A boy who wore only jeans and t-shirt now wore a tuxedo.

"Clever girl I must say" Arnav said in an accusing tone. "Sent your Mamma away from the house so that you can call your lover over to...", his words faded when t NK held his collar, their nose almost touching and their eyes fixed on each other.

"Stop it guys", Khushi cried out in panic.

"Not today Khushi, don't stop me today" NK barked.

Arnav held NK's collar and effortlessly laid him flat on the ground and punched him hard on his jaw.

"Arnav", Khushi screamed and pushed him away from NK. "How dare you?"

"My, my, the lioness ready to spat who ever try to hurt her lion?" Arnav mocked and looked at Khushi in disgust. "Wasn't it this man who stole you from me Khushi? I have full right to hit him for what he did".

"You have no right to hurt him Arnav. If you do then don't blame me for hitting you. Do you get that?" Khushi fisted Arnav's jacket and jerked him. Arnav held Khushi's fist and pinned her against the nearest wall.

"Chodo mujhe" (leave me) "I said leave me Arnav".

But Arnav blocked her gripping her hand tightly.

"aah!" she winced in pain.

Arnav turned to see NK still lying on the floor wincing in pain and then looked back to Khushi narrowing his eyes.

"I want him to see what I saw 5 years back on the Diwali night. Irony you call it. I saw this son of a pig kissing my girl and now I want him to experience the same. He closed the distance, "let me see how it feels to see your girlfriend kissed by someone else".

Khushi's mouth formed an "O". What the hell was he talking about? How can he kiss her like this? And before she could protest, Arnav quickly held her nape and crashed his lips on her. Khushi froze immediately feeling his lips and then he pulled back. The tears that were threatening to spill over gave up and ran down her cheeks.

Arnav felt a tight knot in his belly seeing her tears. It was evident that she hated that kiss, that's why she was crying. He too hated to kiss her like that. He always dreamt of an angelic kiss, slowly, taking time, tasting her every each, but the rage was so much that he just couldn't control. All he could think seeing her in NK's arms once again was to punish her. He wanted to humiliate her just as he felt 5 years ago.

Khushi was about to slap him when he held her hand and twisted it painfully and once again dropped his mouth on her, but this time possessively.

"What's going on?" all of them heard a female voice.

The female ran towards NK and hugged him tightly. Then she checked his bruises and looked at Khushi in Arnav's grip.

"What the hell is happening here?" the woman barked. "Baby who beat you up like this?" the woman said almost in a chocked voice.

"I did" Arnav stood proudly in front of her, "For what he has done to me".

The woman got up on her feet and was about to punch Arnav, when Khushi came in between and stopped the woman from hitting Arnav.

"Sheetal, please don't hit him, let me explain", Khushi said guarding Arnav.

Arnav just stared at Khushi unable to understand the rush of emotions his heart felt seeing her saving him from a woman who was no even close to his strength.

Sheetal looked at Khushi in shocked and then she saw Arnav's face properly. She smiled sarcastically and nodded. "No way Khushi. No way you can save this man from me now. I know you still love this man blindly and you will chose him over your best friend but for me my husband is everything I got and I will not back off.

"Sheetal, baby, please stop sweetheart. I am fine" NK pleaded and tried to get up. Sheetal rushed towards him and hugged him back.

"Shh! I am fine sweetie". NK cupped Sheetal's face and kissed her quivering lips.

Khushi turned towards Arnav and pointed him towards the door, "Get out of here".

When Arnav refused to leave Khushi marched out of the house.

Arnav stood numb for sometime then looked at the couple cozying in the ground. He gave a hand to NK helped him to stand. Once he was on his feet Arnav gave an apologetic hug and asked for his forgiveness.

"Go and get your girl Arnav. She loves you more than you can think off. I know what she has gone through without you in these 5 years".

And for the first time in his life his eyes became glassy. He was terribly wrong in judging his Khushi. How could he even think of her loving another man? But what he saw was also not untrue. It was the time for him to get some answers.

**

Khushi was rubbing her bare hand and was walking along and empty lane in the park. Diwali crackers were bursting over her head illuminating her face.

"Khushi!" Arnav called her but she did not listen. She kept on walking.

He caught up with her and pulled her to face him.

"We need to talk" Arnav said and chocked seeing Khushi tears glittering.

He pulled her in a hug and rocked her, "shh! I am sorry. I am so sorry. Please don't cry", he rubbed her back while Khushi fisted his jacket and started sobbing.

"Go away", she said in a low voice. "Please go away", she pleaded.

"Not before we talk shona". (sweetheart)

"Don't call me that", she protested.

A smile broke across his face and he rested his cheek on her head then slowly he kissed her partition.

"Khushi, please tell me what happened that night. I owe an explanation".

"You don't Arnav".

"Yes I do", he said calmly making her flush with him. "Tell me please".

"What's the need when you don't trust me. Why now?"

Arnav look at her and cupped her face. "I was a stupid donkey for not believing you. Deep inside I expected you to tell me what happened but you did not".

"I was hurt Arnav. I was so hurt because of your accusation".

"Tell me Khushi, I want to know, I have every right to know. Don't I?"

"Yes you do", Khushi said in a low tone then looked down. "That night NK met with an accident", Arnav gasped when Khushi looked directly in his eyes and started telling him. "Luckily Sheetal was with him and my house was nearby. She drove to get up the doctor. He was badly hurt. Blood was oozing all over and I was trying to stop it, that's why I could not make it to Raizada mansion on time", Khushi said and hugged him. "And you...you" she stammered unable to speak anymore.

"I thought you were kissing him. I thought you gave away your first special kiss to someone other than me. I was mad, I was hurt", Arnav confessed.

"You stole my first kiss Arnav" Khushi punched him lightly and Arnav froze.

"I have dreamt my first kiss to be special, to be out of love but you forced that kiss on me and ruined it".

"You mean, you have never been kissed before today?" Arnav looked at her astonishingly. "Oh Khushi" Arnav gathered her in his arms once again and cursed under his breath.

Khushi broke the hug and looked at Arnav with her teary eyes and slowly cupped his face. "There was, is and will be only one person in my life".

Arnav leaned to touch his forehead with hers and closed his eyes. "Tell me it's me", he whispered across her lips.

"No one else other than you Arnav. I..."

Arnav placed his index finger to silent her. "Let me say that first".

"Arnav!"

"I love you shona". (sweetheart)

"Arnav...umm...hmm" she moaned when his lips met hers.

Entry #12

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

Genre: Tragedy

The Love We Had

The love of my life , the man of my dreams and the man that my world revolved around. I remember like it was yesterday that I had fallen and he was the one to help me up onto my feet again. The one who took my breadth away, and the one who had made my heart beat three times faster than normal, he was the one who I knew would be mine forever.

I had thought this until he returned home one day. I remember the first time it happened. And that's where it all started down hill, just another bump on our journey we called life.

I remember the first day I met him, I was at school with Lavanya, and we were on our way to our university classes. We were going to English literature class. I and Lavanya loved that class, partially because it was the easiest one, but also because we were allowed to use our laptops and we could IM back and forth.

We had been psyched to enter that class, but just as I followed after Lavanya into the class, I felt like I smacked into a brick wall. The impact was so great that I had fallen back onto my rear end. I was so caught up in trying to bring a snarky comment to the table, I hadn't noticed that he was picking up my books.

I had never seen this guy in my class. It was weird, usually I was aware of who was in my class, but it seemed he was new, or had just enrolled in this class in particular. I had seen him extend his hand out towards me, and me with my very unruly manners ignored it and got up by myself.

I think when he talked though, my whole world froze, and my mind was blank .His Russian accent made everything with such grace as he spoke, and his warm brown eyes drew my attention in as he looked me down. He had a contagious smile and he spoke with such manner.

This was the first time I had met Arnav Singh Raizada. I was a pile of mush when I introduced myself, and when I extended my hand to shake his, he didn't follow the true American way of saying hello. Instead he had grabbed my hand and kissed the top of it , smiling and gently returning my hand back to my side.

Behind him I caught Lavanya smiling like crazy and her giving me thumbs up. It was a good luck smile with her teeth flashing at me . I could feel the heat rise to my face, and even to this day I can still remember the feeling.

That day he had invited me to dinner at the campus restaurant and being mushy, I had accepted. Lavanya and I had taken three hours to get me ready for my first date with my Russian god. He was such a gentle man; he had taken me and even ordered what I wanted, without me even telling him. He was a mind reader and when I told him this, he had told me that I didn't look like the kind of girl that would order water and a salad.

Of course he said that I wasn't someone who would order the whole menu either. Which I loved that he said that. Eating dinner with him and learning about him, I had this feeling, this feeling that felt so good to have. It felt like I had a complete piece in me, it was like he was my other half that was missing. I know it sounded silly but at that time, it was like I knew that I was going to be with him for a long time. And I was correct.

When I had turned twenty, just two years after dating, we got married. We had a beach wedding and it was lovely. His vows brought tears to my eyes, and an ache to my heart which made me start to cry as I said mine.

He had given me a wonderful time at our after party and our slideshow showed amazing pictures he had taken of us just being together. He was an amazing photographer and it seemed he was amazed about how I turned up in pictures. I only thought that he would say this because I was his wife.

A year after we married , I found out that I was pregnant with his child. It was during my last month of school that I found out that I was having a beautiful baby boy with him. Me and Lavanya gushed all the time about the little baby boy that I was having. We shopped and as Arnav shook his head at us he still went along with it .

I gave birth to a six pound five ounces little boy named Aarav. He was the bundle of joy that brought happiness to our eyes. He was the one that when we fought over tiny things we would think of him and return to each other forgiving each other instantly.

Arnav and I spent every day together. We would do everything with Aarav. The beach here in sunny California, the parks and especially the museum. We were and still are photograph nerds. Aarav too, he is so caught up in the photographs he just stares in awe at them. But we stopped doing all of this.

All that we loved to do came to a halt. It all came to a halt the day Arnav collapsed on our living room floor. I had just come home from picking up Aarav at Lavanya's when I was greeted by him. But as soon as I put Aarav down in his crib, I heard a thud and that's when I found Arnav on the floor. We had rushed to the hospital and that's where my whole world fell apart.

My Russian god, my husband was in the hospital, where I was now, because he had pancreatic cancer. The healthiest man I had ever known with cancer. One who had never smoked, drank or did drugs was ill. It was news that shocked us all.

The estimated time from when I found him was two and a half months ago. This had happened two months ago. We were counting the weeks and Aarav was in here everyday with him. We took amazing photos together and when he wanted to go home, we didn't deny it. We cooked together, and when he was tired I let him sleep with his head in my lap and Aarav curled up beside him.

We did everything together in the passing weeks. He was my world, and I hoped that Aarav would always remember his father through words I would tell him and the photos.

One night Arnav had a bit more energy, he looked like he had life left in him. And I cant say we didn't spend the night together badly. We slept together and we made love to each other full of passion and it held so much emotions. We had become one once again.

The next morning I can't say I was shocked to find his body lying next to mine, his hand intertwined with mine. I let all the tears stream down my face, and I didn't once move from his hand. His body was loosing its heat and I could feel myself curl next to him to inhale his intoxicating scent.

I knew this was coming but when it came I never knew it would be so hard. I was preparing but it never worked. I was glad that I had spent a last night with him. I was happy that I could've shared what I did with him and give him some peace and happiness before he left us.

The man I thought would be mine forever, turned out that god had better plans awaiting him. My Russian god up with all the gods above. I guess you could say he belonged there, watching over us.

Entry #13

"At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet."

Genre: Comedy

To verse or not to verse

Arnav dialed Khushi's number for the umpteenth time and yet again Khushi disconnected after a few rings. "What the ... " exclaimed Arnav and threw the phone on his bed. He was getting more angry and restless every time Khushi cut his call.

"What's the matter, Nannav?", the voice of NK accompanied by sound of crunching potato chips fuelled Arnav's irritation further. NK walked into Arnav's room munching chips, just as Arnav was throwing the phone on the bed.

"Tum itne ghoosa kyun ho?" asked NK.

"Not ghoosa, it's gussa", corrected Arnav, filling in for Khushi's role of correcting NK's Hindi whenever he made a blunder. 'But I so want to give you a ghoosa, a punch to you right now,' thought Arnav.

"Oh, sorry", said NK doing his customary action of holding his ear every time he was corrected. "So tell me, why are you angry? Oh, you were trying to call Khushiji! No use Nannav. She's not going to take your call. You should try some other method to reach her," NK suggested.

"What other method? I don't want to barge into Buaji's house and make a scene in front of everyone. I don't want them to know that we had a fight. Khushi knows I won't do that and she's taking advantage of it" said a frustrated Arnav.

"Nannav mere bhai, you've been married for a while now. But, still you haven't learnt how to calm down your wife" said NK trying to calm his cousin.

"Oh really, and you are very experienced in this, is it?" said Arnav sarcastically.

"Nannav mere bhai, some things are inborn. You know it naturally. Of course, this inborn talent isn't in you. So here I am, to help you, give you tips and help you patch up with your wife."

"Ya right! So what does this so called inborn talent of yours suggest?" asked Arnav crossing his hands.

"Poetry" suggested NK crossing his hands too.

"What!" exclaimed Arnav.

"Yes Nannav. You should write poetry for Khushi. " said NK

"You and your filmy ideas! You know NK, sometimes Di keeps telling, that you and Khushi must have been twins in your last birth. Don't know about the last birth thing, but twins, that seems to be very very likely" retorted Arnav.

"Don't try to change the topic Nannav. Come on, it should be easy for you. You've known her for so long. Surely, you must have written poetry sometime for her" said NK.

"Er ... no. I have never done anything of that sort and I am not going to do it now too. So, stop giving me silly suggestions. Now go from here and let me think," said Arnav and sent away NK from the room.

'As if Khushi wasn't enough, now this NK is also making me mad. I better go to office and do some work. Atleast that should calm me down,' thinking so Arnav picked up his coat and laptop bag and left for office.

It had been more than an hour since Arnav came to office but he still wasn't able to concentrate on his work. His thoughts kept going to the previous night.

~ ~ ~

Arnav was sitting on the recliner, teleconferencing through the laptop. Just then, Khushi came from the pool side, accidently hit the little table on which the laptop was placed. The table jerked a bit causing the laptop to slip from its position. Arnav managed to caught hold of the laptop just in time before it fell on the floor.

"What the... Khushi. Can't you see where you are going? I was having a teleconference with a client. I had finally got the network connection after trying for a long time and now you've come and upset it again," ranted Arnav.

"First you tell me, why are you sitting in the way? The recliner and the table, they are not supposed to be here near the poolside door?" asked Khushi.

"Yes, I moved them a bit towards the door trying to get the signals for the connection. But, can't you see and walk?"

"Haww! First you move furniture here and there and then you blame me. I don't want to talk to you" said Khushi and went away.

"Me neither. I am going to the terrace to try the connection again. You can dance, sing, jump around, do whatever you want in the room", shouted Arnav in anger and climbed up the stairs, taking the laptop along with him.

At the terrace, Arnav was trying connect to the client when he got a call from Aman saying that he had received a fax about a continuous network problem at the client's place and that the client would inform as soon as the problem was sorted out.

Arnav soon realized his folly and went downstairs to his room at once. When he entered, he saw Khushi was sleeping on the bed covered from head to toe in blanket. He wanted to wake her up, but then decided to get up very early in the morning and give her some surprise.

As planned, Arnav got up early next morning and looked on the other side of his bed. But, Khushi wasn't there. He immediately got up and checked the bathroom, the poolside and other places. When he couldn't find her anywhere he went downstairs to the hall where he found his Di who told him that Khushi had some work at Buaji's place, so she left early in the morning.

Arnav immediately called her up and since then Khushi hadn't been taking his calls. NK had seen Khushi when she left for Buaji's place and understood that Arnav and Khushi had had a fight.

~ ~ ~

At the office, Arnav couldn't help pondering over NK's suggestion. "Poetry? ... Na, no way", thought Arnav.

Akash walked into his cabin to get some signatures from his Bhai for a meeting. After signing the papers, Arnav asked him, "Akash, did you ever write poetry?"

"Poetry, Bhai? Well, I did try once. When I proposed to Payal for the first time. I called her a flower and ended up calling myself a bhanwra, a bee which keeps hopping between flowers. It was an utter flop attempt", laughed Akash and continued, "After marriage, Payal took a promise from me, never to write poetry again and I didn't even try to ... But Bhai, why are you asking me this?"

"Huh ... Err ... Aren't you getting late for your meeting?", saying so Arnav sent Akash away.

After Akash left, Arnav was lost in thoughts again. 'Poetry ... hmm ... maybe I can give it a try ... just once.'

He took out his writing pad and started to write thinking aloud, 'You and me ... Me and You ... I am one ... we are two ... Nonsense, this looks more like a nursery rhyme; one, two , buckle my shoe ...' Frustrated at his attempt, Arnav crumpled the paper and threw it and tried again. After a few trials, he finally wrote something, folded it and put the paper inside an envelope. He called up NK and told him to be ready. He would pick him up and go to Khushi's house. He was determined to bring Khushi back home.

Arnav parked the car a little away from Buaji's house, so that no one could see them from the house. He handed NK the envelope and asked him to give it to Khushi.

"Oh, so you finally did write a poem for her. Very good, very good, I'm impressed. But, why now? You can give it to her in the evening when she comes home", NK inquired.

"Just do as I say," ordered Arnav and handed the envelope to him.

"All right, as you say," saying so NK got down from the SUV and mumbled 'Ravan'.

Arnav knew Khushi would be coming back home in the evening, but he also knew that she would continue to avoid him even at home. He needed to talk to her, see her, patch up with her as soon as possible. He was getting desperate.

NK knocked on Buaji's door expecting Khushi to open it. But instead it was Buaji who welcomed him.

"Arey, Nand Kishore, it's you. Come, come," Buaji let NK in and asked him to take a seat.

"Buaji, where's Khushiji?' asked NK.

"Why? I thought you came to see me," Buaji teased NK and continued "You have any work with her?"

"Er ... no ... no. I just wanted to meet her casually." NK replied.

"Casually? But, she's coming home in the evening anyway. You all are staying in the same house, right?" asked a confused Buaji.

"Ya ... ya ... yes. No, I ... I actually had some work with her, I had to give her something", explained NK.

"Oh, ok ok. Give it to me. Khushi is taking a nap and her parents have also gone to the clinic for Shashi babua's checkup," said Buaji.

"Er ... no. Nothing urgent. I will give to her when I meet her." NK didn't want to give the envelope to Buaji. Arnav had told him strictly, "Hand it over to Khushi only, no one else, understand?". He wouldn't dare disobey the Ravan.

"Who is it Buaji?" Khushi walked out of the room into the hall and found NK and Buaji sitting there. She had tried taking a nap but whenever she tried closing her eyes all she could see was her Laad Governor's face. Frustrated with the restless feeling, she got up and came into the hall.

"Arey Nanheji, when did you come?" Khushi asked NK.

"Arey Titaliya, you've got up. Come and sit. You both talk, I will get tea. It is almost ready" said Buaji and went into the kitchen.

As soon as she left, NK gave the envelope to Khushi and spoke in a low tone. "Khushiji, here, this is for you. Nannav has given this. He has written a poem for you," chuckled NK.

"What? Really? I don't believe this," said Khushi and opened the envelope with an expression of disbelief. But as soon as she started reading it, her expression changed into an angry one. The letter read, 'Khushi, I am waiting in the car outside. Stop playing games and come with me.'

"Look what he has written. Does it look like a poem from any angle? I am definitely not going with him. You can go and tell him. Let him do whatever he wants to. The Laad Governor," a miffed Khushi told NK.

Buaji came in with the tea cups. After they had tea, Buaji asked NK to come with her to a shop to help her choose some clothes for a relative who was getting married and was of same built as NK. NK refused politely initially but Buaji persisted.

"Nand Kishore, you should come and take a look. So that, when you are getting married, you will have an idea. By the way, when are you getting married?" asked Buaji.

NK gulped thinking about the nightmare he often has about him and Buaji whenever she raised the 'M' question. He excused himself for a while, went to the verandah, made a quick call to Arnav and explained the situation at home to him.

Arnav, who was pacing outside the SUV frantically, got infuriated upon knowing Khushi's reaction. He decided to wait till NK and Buaji left the house and then meet Khushi directly. Meanwhile, Khushi knew that Arnav, who was nearby, would try to barge in. So, as soon as NK and Buaji left the house, Khushi immediately locked the house from inside. Relieved, she turned around and was shocked.

In front of her standing was Arnav, glaring at her. He had obviously, jumped in through the window, knowing Khushi's line of acts. "What is all this Khushi? Why are you not taking my calls? And how could you refuse to come with me? You think I can write poems for you, then listen, that is never going to happen. Understand? Now, stop behaving like mad and come with me," Arnav said in anger.

"I am behaving like mad? See, this is what happens. You get angry and then you don't even realize what you say. I don't want to talk to you," said Khushi and tried to leave from there. Arnav calmed down a little, took a deep breath, caught hold of her hand and pulled her closer to him.

"Khushi, I don't know how to sing songs or talk in rhymes. All I want is to be with you all the time. I don't know what should be done or not in love. All I know is I cannot live without you, my love. Khushi I am sorry I hurt you when I was angry. But you know, your Laad Governor is a little crazy", Arnav blurt out his feelings all at once. Hearing that, Khushi's eyes welled up. She smiled and hugged him tight.

"Arnavji, this is the most beautiful poem I've ever heard", said Khushi . "Poem? Khushi, I just said what I felt", explained Arnav releasing from the hug.

"I know Arnavji. Har wo baat jo dil se kahi jaati hai, wo kavita ban jaati hai. Har wo baat jo rooh ko choo jaati hai, wo kavita ban jaati hai. Every word that is spoken with heart, becomes poetry. Every word that touches the soul, becomes poetry", said Khushi emotionally.

Arnav and Khushi both laughed and hugged again. "Sorry Khushi, do you know how I spent the whole morning?"

"Same here. I am sorry too Arnavji. Because of me, you had to go through so much trouble. I didn't even have my lunch. And now, I am feeling hungry", Khushi confessed. "Me neither. Come, let's go out for lunch. I know it's a little late, but that's okay," saying so Arnav took her hand and started to leave.

Khushi handed over the house keys to her neighbour and sat in the SUV. She was putting on her seat belt when she asked, "By the way Arnavji, how did your teleconference go?"

Arnav got startled at the question. What would he reply? If he told her that he unnecessarily blamed Khushi she would again start brooding. What would he tell her then? And how? To verse or not to verse?

Needless to say, Arnav did end up telling her that the problem was at the client's end. Khushi got miffed hearing that, but looking at Arnav's expression, she assumed his thought process and broke into a laughter and started singing, "Aaj mausam hai suhana, Arnavji se kavita sun ne ka hai bahana, what the, what the, what the ... " (The weather today is bright, an excuse to hear a poem from Arnavji, what the, what the, what the ...)

Arnav was relieved at her reaction and joined her in the laughter. Soon, the couple left for lunch, a little late but much before tea time.

Entry #14

"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

Genre: Romance

Always together

Coming home early from office, Arnav started searching for his wife, Khushi. It didn't take him long to find her. There she was at the poolside, dressed in yellow and red salwar kameez adorned with gotas, with matching bangles, hair loose, looking as angelic as ever. She was watering the plants at the poolside. It gave Arnav a comforting peace to see his wife water his plants ... no ... their plants.

Khushi was lost in her own thoughts while watering the plants. Just like her Arnavji, she too found peace and solace when she was around his plants ... no ... their plants. She smiled at the thought. Her hair was swaying a bit in the slight wind. It reminded her of the day when Arnav had plucked the clip off her hair causing her hair to open loose and he had said, 'Now it's better'. Although Arnav had never insisted her to dress up in any particular way, she knew he loved it when she kept her hair untied. The slight wind caused a few strands of her hair to fall on her forehead. Both her hands were holding the heavy water can, so Khushi tried to push back the strands by jerking her head backwards. It didn't work, so she tried to do it again when a hand came in and put the errant strands behind her ear. She knew who it was, turned sideways and found her Arnavji. Her breath hitched as she was soon lost in a pair of chocolate brown eyes. Arnav too couldn't help but admire his wife's beauty. She seemed to get prettier day by day. Soon, he too was lost in her hazel eyes.

The couple came back to their senses only when they felt something wet under their feet. Water was flowing from the water can into the pot, which was now overflowing. Arnav took the can from Khushi's hand, kept it on the floor and picked her up in his arms.

"Arnavji, what are you doing? Put me down, someone will see," said Khushi getting flustered. "I don't care. We are going out ... now," Arnav replied and carried her till they reached the SUV. They sat inside, put on their seat belts when Khushi asked where they were going. "You will know soon," smiled Arnav.

The vehicle started and Khushi too started insisting him to tell her about their destination. "Okay, I will give you a clue. Do you remember the first time you sat in this SUV?" asked Arnav.

"Yes, I do. It was on Raksha Bandhan day. Di had left home and we were looking for her," remembered Khushi. Arnav remembered that day too. He had been very rude to his Di. He was angry at himself because he couldn't stop thinking of Khushi. And in his anger, he shouted at Di. 'This is MY house,' he had said. Di was heartbroken and had left the house without telling anybody. Those angry words of his hurt him to this day.

Khushi realized what Arnav was thinking and kept her hand on his shoulder. Arnav calmed down, turned towards her and smiled.

"No, that was not the first time. Now, I am not going to give you any clues. You will know when we reach there," declared Arnav. Khushi sulked a bit but smiled soon enough when Arnav started teasing her brooding face.

Arnav had been waiting long for this day. He was anxious to see the reaction on Khushi's face once they reached there. He wanted to keep her happy, have that beautiful smile on her face all the time. He knew what a tyrant he was earlier. He made her do ridiculous tasks, made her slog at unusual timings, not caring about her health or safety. He was a hard taskmaster. But with time, his angry behavior subsided as he fell in love with her. He did say sorry to her much later, but Khushi had long forgiven him by then. She knew how much pain her Arnavji had been going through. Khushi became a soothing balm for Arnav's never healing wounds.

Arnav could never forget the place they were going to. It was the first time he had got worried about Khushi's safety. It was the first time he frantically searched for her. It was the first time he called her Khushi, not Miss Gupta or Khushi Kumari Gupta. It was the first time she fell unconscious in his arms. It was the first time he put the strand of hair behind her ear. It was the first time he wiped her tears. It was the first time in many years that ASR became Arnav and was dumbfounded by the beauty in his arms. He had been so worried for her that night. Not until Di called up her home and inquired about her health and learnt that she was fine, then Arnav heaved a sigh of relief.

Arnav's thoughts went to the day when the idea for this surprise occurred to him.

~ ~ ~

It was about 6-7 months back. Arnav had finished a meeting at his client's place and was about to get into his SUV when he received a call from Khushi asking him when he would be home. "I am just starting Khushi. I will be there in an hour. Listen, my phone battery is a little low. Couldn't charge it. So, don't call me till I reach home. Actually, I've asked my client to send some details which they are working on and will send it to me meanwhile. I want to check them as soon as I get the details. So, if there is anything else you want to talk about, we will do so after I come home. Okay? "

Khushi agreed and disconnected the call. Arnav had been busy for some days, working out details for a new contract. Khushi knew that, so avoided fussing over trivial things during his busy days. After some time, she received a call from Aman. "Bhabhiji, is Sir home? Actually, he had asked me not to call him as his phone battery is low. I wanted to give him an urgent message."

"No, he's not home. But, I will inform him about the message", saying so Khushi disconnected.

Arnav had been wading through the heavy traffic for some time. He was exhausted and tired after a busy working day. He was yet to receive the details from his client when he stopped at a traffic signal. He was getting anxious as his phone battery was getting lower. Just then, the phone rang. It was Khushi. Why is she calling me when I told her not to?' wondered an irked Arnav. He disconnected it without picking up. After some time, the phone rang again. It was Khushi once more. And once again Arnav disconnected. He was agitated now. The traffic signal showed green, but Arnav was turning red in anger. He was yet to receive the details and instead of the client, Khushi was constantly calling him. He finally did receive the message from his client, but as soon as he opened it his phone battery completely depleted. He was now infuriated.

He reached home, went to his room, saw Khushi sitting on the recliner, threw his coat on the bed, held Khushi by her shoulders making her stand.

"Khushi when I told you not to, then why were you keeping on calling me? Couldn't you wait till I reached home? Because of you, everything has got delayed. I left my laptop at office and now my phone is dead," saying so he went to connect his phone to the charger and continued, "Khushi, you are Arnav Singh Raizada's wife now, you have to learn to be responsible. You know,I don't like to delay things. If you keep interfering with trivial matters, then how will I concentrate on my work?"

Khushi got enraged with Arnav's accusations. "How can you say so, Arnavji? First of all, I did not call you for any trivial matter. Second, Aman has sent your laptop home, so that you could do your work on it. And he said that he had an urgent message to be given to you, so he asked me to inform you as soon as you came home. I am trying to be responsible Arnavji. But, if you still think otherwise, then I have nothing to say", said Khushi and left the room.

Arnav was still fuming when he heard his Di call. "Chotey?!" He turned back to see his Di, who obviously had heard his and Khushi's fight.

"What is all this Chote? How can you talk to Khushiji like that? Do you even know why she called you? She called you because of me", revealed Anjali.

"What?" Arnav wondered what was up.

Anjali continued. "Yes, my car had broken down. I called home to infom this when Khushiji said that you were on your way home and you would pick me up. She wanted to give Aman's message also to you, so she decided to call you herself about it. It wouldn't have taken more than a minute on the phone to tell you this Chote. But, you never picked up her call. Finally, Mohan called a cab for me after which, he took the car to the garage for the repair."

Arnav calmed down realizing that he had made a judgmental blunder. "Chote, sometimes you make such hasty decisions. You don't even understand that there is another side to the same coin. When will you learn, Chote? Even earlier, when Khushi was trapped in that guest house, the supervisor kept calling you, but you never took that call. Have you ever pondered that if you had taken that call in time, Khushi wouldn't have had to face such a turmoil that day? Her life wouldn't have been in danger. Luckily today, the matter wasn't serious. But the fault is still yours. You needn't have scolded Khushi like that. Now go and say sorry to her."

Di's reminding of that frightful night brought Arnav completely to his senses. He knew he shouldn't have sent Khushi to the guest house in the first place. It was a big mistake. Today too, he realized he should have taken her call, no matter what. He went in search of Khushi. He soon found her on the terrace, looking up at the evening sky, tears flowing down from her eyes. He went near her and said, "Sorry Khushi. I shouldn't have said all that. Di told me why you called. You know how I am. I feel irritated when things don't get done on time. I burst out all my frustration on you. I am so sorry Khushi."

Khushi hugged him hearing that. "I know Arnavji that you are very busy with the new contract. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that myself. But it hurt when you said that I was irresponsible. So I ..." and she started crying, but continued, "Sometimes I am scared Arnavji. What if I am not capable of being your wife? What if our differences create a distance in our relationship?"

"Shh... Khushi. Sorry, sorry, I won't say that again. And whatever you fear about, that will never happen. Now don't cry. You know I can't see tears in your eyes ... Okay now stop crying and get me something. I am feeling very hungry. Or are you thinking of feeding me your salty tears today?" Arnav joked trying to bring a smile on his wife's face. It worked. Khushi smiled, hit him on his chest and said, "You go to the room and carry on with your work. I will get something."

Khushi left for the kitchen. As Arnav proceeded towards the room, his mind was filled with the events during the guest house incident and Khushi's fear about their relationship which she just spoke about. He knew what had to be done.

~ ~ ~

Arnav parked the SUV a little away from his surprise, got down, went to the other side and opened the door for his wife. Khushi got down wondering where they had come to. "Do you remember this place Khushi?" asked Arnav.

"This place ... I know ... I know this place. Isn't this the place where your guesthouse was? The one where I had got trapped? But, why are we here now?" asked Khushi.

"Yes, this is that place. Come, let's go near the guesthouse," replied Arnav, took her hand and started walking towards the guesthouse which was just around the corner. When they reached, Khushi's mouth opened in wonder. In front of her was a beautiful double storeyed bungalow. She went closer and found the name of the bungalow written on the wall, 'Khushi Sadan'. Tears brimmed from her eyes, she turned around and looked at Arnav with a query on her face. Arnav took her hand and led her inside the house.

"Khushi, this is a surprise for you. This house has been rebuilt from scratch and it is a gift for you. I've been wanting to do this for some time. It is finally ready to show to you," Arnav explained. After surveying the whole bungalow, Arnav and Khushi came back to the living room where Khushi put forth her query in words. "Why Arnavji? Why all this? What was the necessity? And why now?" Khushi asked.

"Khushi this is a special place for me. The place where I came looking for you, I was so worried about your safety. It was the first time I realized that I was drawing closer to you. Someone, for whom I could leave everything behind and come to search for. I didn't want to send anybody else, I had to come myself. It was the first time I took you home. And that was the first time that you were in the SUV. You were unconscious, so you didn't know", answered Arnav.

"I remember that day. I was so angry at you. I had lost all hope and strength and when I saw you, in an instant I was relieved and knew you would take me to safety. But still, I was infuriated and vent out all my anger on you", remembered Khushi and continued, "It was also the first time you put the strand of hair behind my ear, isn't it?"

Arnav was surprised and asked her how she knew for she was unconscious. "I don't know how. But, I knew you had done that", said Khushi and smiled.

"Khushi, this place is a proof that we've always been with each other. We know each others' feelings so well, without having to put them into words all the time. That day I wanted you out of my life. I didn't want to see you again. But when I realized that you might be in danger, I came running to look for you. The thought that I might not be able to see you again was piercing through me. I didn't want to lose you."

"I know Arnavji. Though I was angry with you, when you said that you didn't know that the place was very dangerous, I immediately trusted you. I knew you weren't lying. How and why, I didn't know. I was relaxed when you were there and knew that you would take care of me."

Khushi and Arnav embraced each other in a tight hug. "Khushi, we've been through a lot before. We might face problems later too. But always remember, the way we feel for each other, the way we can sense each other, whether we are close or far away, this will never change. We will always overcome our problems. Arnav and Khushi will always be together." As Arnav said this, happy tears flowed down from Khushi's eyes. Khushi was finally relaxed about the future of their relationship.

Arnav and Khushi spent some more time in their special abode talking about all the difficult times they had been through and yet, had always found each other. They left for Raizada Mansion later in the evening.