Blast from the Past Thread #16, pg 128, epi 180 - Page 105

Originally posted by: salooni

hi all

made a edit for next update of mine

as it is arshi marriage

so is it good

i took a tutorial so asking 😳

i dont know

credit of psd and texture to respective maker

Originally posted by: viv04

No matter how much I loved IPK and ASR as an mature audience, I worried about the impact of manhandling scenes on young minds. I would assume sensitive young teens not approving it and fear immature older teens being mislead by it.

In general, no matter how much couples are in love with each other and understand each other, even the tiniest unintentional arguments or verbal abuse can affect the relationship when it comes to physical intimacy for women. The issues need to be resolved and partner's mutual respect need to be restored on regular basis for healthy sustenance of long term relationship.

In spite of the inconsistent story, I would like to make sense of what was offered to us. Post kidnap rescue, maybe a verbal admittance of their love by ASR was necessary for K to start afresh, instill confidence and erase the hurtful memories. Maybe she would not have left RM for Anji's sake then. She had forgiven him long back, they had accepted each other and she even physically seemed to be ready for intimacy.

There is some gradual psychological resolution for K to farm house night if I want to make sense. She gets the answer in his teary eyes when he says, "tum ye sab hone dogi", then symbolic gifting on rakhee day, I love you dammit, apology at GH followed by visit to ma's garden and finally acknowledging her parents at farmhouse. In summary regardless of how much couples are in love, unlike men for women, their underlying psychological state is as important as their physical need or even more for attainment of desired level of intimacy.

I find answers to many questions in La's, "tum hi ho ek jo ASr se wo kah sakti ho jo wo nahi sunna chahte". Yes she was always drawn to him, did not want to give up on the raakshas inside him. Her love made her poke, prick, ruffle and dig into A's facades. His love for her compelled him to invite her to his inner chambers. Every time he hurt her, a piece of him cried for her love. And she would not miss to notice the tiny teary pools in his eyes that reflected his generous love for her as infinite as the ocean.

Yes there was no short cut for the broken soul ASR and this resulted in the great fiction we all love.

We are having such varied topics for discussion in all directions and I love all point of views for the joy of reading, communication and understanding.

Originally posted by: Horizon

ps: Time for Teej on TV reruns. As alwasy apologies for taqneeqi kharabein.

Originally posted by: indi52

horizon,

absolutely agree, exactly my feelings. but first a big hello hi hug for the "smokin' hot." that's the word for ze man. wish i could say it with a sexy amriki drawl.

and those are the reasons he is not a manhandler.

yes he did a couple of things he should not have... dori, drop from office, drag up mandir steps and force a wedding without asking a thing... but that and his other mistakes make him human. what makes him breathtaking is his clear absolute no condition apolgising... his conscience. and also his ability to understand that he does things at times without thought, only to regret it later.

human.

my husband said, of course he manhandled her, i said, when. he sited temple wedding. i said, yeah, but which one of us has had this sweet quiet wonderful marriage without any rage rave spot of violence, when two people are in love and have this thing for each other all sorts of things happen he said, i know... the way we used to fight. i said, used to? just the other day, right here, we were so bad that we had to finally start laughing because it would have gone to the stratosphere or the cop station otherwise. he tried not to remember.

i too felt her anger during resignation was a bit extreme, she was accusing him of something he hadn't done, ie sent her to a dangerous place knowingly. but while i felt for him i also realised it was his anger, his abrupt banishing of her that had skewed her judgment, you couldn't blame her for thinking the worst of him. how he suffered and then in typical style got furious about that. a zany understanding of character there.

even more lovely, her saying "hum theek nahin hain," after giving yelling at him to her heart's content.

nice writing.

oh asr's contours are the most believable of all. there's plenty of him in me and those around me. even the good fortunately.

i do wish he hadn't snapped her dori, or dropped her, or dragged her... but he did... he was who he was and he never tried to justify it. his anger was a huge issue. he was often in its thrall... this would have been great to explore, but with his interpretation i think barun conveyed it... his helplessness before this thing, his remorse, and that's why it was impossible for me to judge him.

most people have a minus side... how they deal with it matters.


cynthia: i see you up there. will disagree, sir 🤗. he pulled and dragged her... not others. this was a crazy attraction thing between the two, made both do all sorts of things. not right, not laudable, but there it was, and khsuhi sort of got it... when he gripped her hard, it wasn't to hurt her, it was usually because he was anguished, couldn't guage his strength, always regretted those marks he left behind... and she did bruise easily...

he would get angry and slap people... both times, men. with women, always quite gentle and respectful... oh the opening scene with la. only once a huge screaming session with la.

Originally posted by: IssPKaur

EDIT: SOME ISSUE WITH IF AT MY END SO THIS POST HAS APPEARED SOME THREE TIMES ON THIS PAGE...JUST REALIZED AND DELETED THE OTHER TWO-APOLOGIES!


Hello! Just read this...i love the man but cannot agree. Abuse is abuse. He probably hurled verbal much more than physical...but still.
A lot of women we know who go through abuse try and justify it to themselves for the longest time citing the fact that the man at heart is a good one. It's classic victim behavior...till it hits the wall.

We value ASR, of course we do, we know who he really is, and love him for that. But that cannot justify the character when he's in the wrong...especially pre guest house..and post forced marriage. It doesn't matter that he was doing it ONLY to her. Most men do it only to their wives or girlfriends. They seem perfectly nice to all other women. I know i'm talking not ASR here but SERIOUSLY abusive men...but any portrayal that's even bordering on those traits has the potential to be problematic and dangerous when looked at objectively.

I for one do not think Khushi's anger during resignation was extreme. All that talk of "aukaat", for instance, i found unacceptable to say the least. I was mighty pleased actually that she felt the anger and expressed it. So glad they didn't make her apologize to him for it later...

This chat is an essential one. Glad we''re having it! Big hug to you all, by the way. Missing you like crazy!

Originally posted by: sohara

Thanks ArshiH for reading and commenting.

I really ponder your comments.

I can understand Khushi's ambiguity, as she is very young and a bit crazy as well. But why the Harvard brain is taking too much time to accept his feelings of love. Though he came a long way.

Sigh when he completely broke the wall of hate and came to the light of love, the cvs put him in the dark world of hate again.

I agree what you said about Anjali. I would love it, if Arnav would make her independent. There are so many FFs have been written where the writers showed Anjali as an independent woman. i wish if it be will shown in sequel-2. but sequel-2 is not a distant dream, but an impossible dream right now.😔

Originally posted by: samin6

So here I come and am watching people trying to judge our manhandling of Arnav and I was thinking if it was justified. Now manhandling is not justified but our Khushi always had a sweet revenge, and that was her jelebi like sweet revenge that made IPKKND so endearing. Let us start Arnav thew her from the top of the stairs thinking of embarrassing her in his office and she did the same to him by gaining more points in office and giving the resignation. He drops her off in the middle of the road and she changed his ring tone,and made him again embarrased in front on his family. Now Arnav hurt Khushi in her heart because ourKhushi was one with all hearts and Khushi hurt Arnav and his image because our Arnav bitwa was all about image. So why should we bother, they just very well complemented each other and the fact was they loved each other even though they lacked the very thing of utmost importance to the other . According to Khushi Arnav had no heart and according to Arnav Khushi lacked brains. However their love was not stopped for that flaw and so that had a beauty on itself.

Originally posted by: wiwy

The way I see this, if ASR did not himself think that he had manhandled Khushi, then why did he repent? Why did he give her those pearls, which he had torn on their first meeting? And hugged her and apologised? Because he knew he had done wrong. He should not have done it under any circumstances. He realized just because he had had a bad past he could not justify hurting others. Say, if a boy had an abusive past is it alright for him to abuse others? Or a boy is poor is it alright if he grows up to be a thief? We must empathize with such a character, help him to get over his past but allow him to abuse others or cheat because he had a horrid past? Why? Howcome? In fact can you even physically abuse a woman just because she is of loose morals?

We identify with ASR coz he is so real, true.We all have our dark sides like him. But if what man seeks is nirvana, then what we all need is a DM disciple like Khushi!

As ASR's saviour she pumped out all the poison within him. It was this poison that had made him do things he regretted later by his own admittance.So by the end of the serial, ASR was not pulling, pushing, hurting Khushi. He emerged as the man he really was, kind, generous, compassionate, caring, loving and above all liberal and progressive. No more dori tearing for this man, however sexy you might find it! Sorry girls!