arshi ff: without you... thread #1, chapters 1-13 **completed**

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BarunDiwani

@BarunDiwani

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#201

my post updated :)

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/85923258

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Cynthia Abruzzo DeSiena

@cinthiann1758

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#202

Originally posted by: indi52

thank you, cynthia,🤗

oh i need him back too. but it looks like he needs this break from everything... coma can also do good things, right? tell me tell me. i am so glad you felt nani... she's beautiful... in fact that's one character i am awed by, so layered, so much in her, a real woman.

they are in each other, can he ever really not have her in his consciousness? or she him? now of course i am talking gibberish, but that's how it seems to me. i hope you really enjoyed and guess what i was commenting on your story on the saansey thread when you posted your comment here...

Yes Indi I loved Naniji! True sisters we are! Thanks for all your comments and the support. I just posted chap 9. Be well my friend.

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Crazy4IPK

@Crazy4IPK

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#203

OMG, you put ASR in coma!

No way, you are evil!

I loved the incorporation of present and past.

And I absolutely loved three times rubbing the cheek romance.😉

I have a question Indi,

Arnav found Khushi in a hotel room with three men. Khushi came here for modeling and those guys just wanted to molest her? Or she knowingly went there to have s*x with them? Arnav thought she was entrapped. But Khushi defended her that she wanted to earn money for her jiji's wedding.

Edited by sohara - 12 years ago

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#204

Originally posted by: BarunDiwani
Indi!!! so you give us a glimps of happiness then put him in a comma??
Pehle current phir shock...nahiiin! well i guess it beats the alternative. notheless its a wonderful update, took my emotions on a rollacoaster again. Uff love the way he teases and rubs his stuble on them...also love the dishum dishum scene int the hotel room, it was a pleasant surprise, and thank for making it fun. loved the "shut up Khushi"...its always been a fav part in the show, love how you incorporated it here. One of the most touch moments here was Naniji "he is a reflection of me" 👏...indeed he is, good thing i wasn't at work this time or else would've had to run to the bathroom to 😭...you make everything so freaking interesting to read.
thanks 🤗

thanks, my dear ami, and for that one line in pink, i will give you a dream hotwa moment in the next update 🤗. i wuv nani and her pota and their mirror quality. she doesn't ahve to fuss over him, because he isa part of her, that's all... and boy does she push him to be all he can be... shaadi kareka padi... awww. so much love and dna.

shut up khushi, gives me shivers on my shin (its a good sign 😆 though it may not sound like it.)

thanks for tolerating the not so happy parts of my ishtory, but phikar not bitwa is doing good...a nd isspkaur has demanded more bitwa next update... me already lolling in it. 😆

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#205

Originally posted by: sohara
OMG, you put ASR in coma!
No way, you are evil!

I loved the incorporation of present and future.
And I absolutely loved three times rubbing the cheek romance.😉

I have a question Indi,
Arnav found Khushi in a hotel room with three men. Khushi came here for modeling and those guys just wanted to molest her? Or she knowingly went there to have s*x with them? Arnav thought she was entrapped. But Khushi defended her that she wanted to earn money for her jiji's wedding.

i am evil... he he.

and seems i am not too clear also. the girl in the hotel room was not khushi, it was the evening of the day that khushi fell on him... he found her purse, in that an advertisement.. he read the words, realised something fishy was going on in the hotel in that room, went there and found a girl being harassed. he rescued her. but a lot of his anger was to do with the connection he made between that scene and khushi. something about her got to him, he felt this funny urge to take care of her though she was a stranger... so when he saw her again, he asked her why? why did she do it? he thought she was silly and just to make money had opened herself up to such danger. he was angry because he didn't want to see her in that state... and wanted to tell her not to be so foolish. she said it was for her sister's marriage... but of course, khushi had no idea that girls were lured like that and sold to rich customers for the night.

clearer? maybe i should fix this in the telling.

cheek rubbing is nice, na 😉? your sexy boy.

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Crazy4IPK

@Crazy4IPK

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#206

Originally posted by: indi52

i am evil... he he.

and seems i am not too clear also. the girl in the hotel room was not khushi, it was the evening of the day that khushi fell on him... he found her purse, in that an advertisement.. he read the words, realised something fishy was going on in the hotel in that room, went there and found a girl being harassed. he rescued her. but a lot of his anger was to do with the connection he made between that scene and khushi. something about her got to him, he felt this funny urge to take care of her though she was a stranger... so when he saw her again, he asked her why? why did she do it? he thought she was silly and just to make money had opened herself up to such danger. he was angry because he didn't want to see her in that state... and wanted to tell her not to be so foolish. she said it was for her sister's marriage... but of course, khushi had no idea that girls were lured like that and sold to rich customers for the night.

clearer? maybe i should fix this in the telling.

cheek rubbing is nice, na 😉? your sexy boy.

thanks, it's cleared now.

Not nice only but sexy!

Our sexy boy's every move is sexy. Isn't it?

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#207

^^^ our sexy boy... sigh swoon die... and you were saying, sohara?

hmmm, i am glad that's cler now... have made some changes to the chapter, hoping to diffuse confusion... thanks for your question.

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IssK.

@IssK.

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#208

Originally posted by: indi52

thanks, i bhill not makes you bhaits too longs, especially on the bitwa phront. in fact, the moment i read it, a whole chapter flashed before my hungry eyes... thanks for that, dear reader. and please do always feel free to tell me if something is irksome, or not sexy. 😆

👍🏼👍🏼

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DurgaS

@DurgaS

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#209

Indi,

I could feel a sannata at the end of the chapter. This was really a heart wrenching one.

Khushi - Nani convo was touching. I could feel Nani's trembling voice. Could even feel Mami's worried mannerisms. Loved this whole first part.

The flashback: You should have put the ASR music playing on the pages of our thread. The kick at the door by ASR needed that. But again, may be not. I could hear that music playing at the back of my head, as you described the scene in the hotel room. 😊

So a clash at their second meeting. Looking forward to what happened next, in the flashback, that is.

The whole chapter very beautifully written. I was dragged right into the scenes. Could visualise them. Thank you for giving us such awesome writings.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#210

^^^ durga 🤗

thank you for your lovely critique. that music question is bugging me. i know we layer it in instinctively as we read... but rabba ve... i want it in. the problem is it may sound cheesy unless i find a good solution.

you liked the nani part, and mami's frenzy? you know how everything goes a bit crazy when someone central to the home is not doing well.

during kidnap i never got the things that would have been normal... so... i guess my insides decided to do something about it. it is weird how much of what gets written pretty much writes itself... when it doesn't i know there's cause for concern.

never done this, durga, don't know if i have it in me... but till you try how will you know.

lovely comments. i will find a way to get the music in.

sannata. can you imagine how it must have been when dr verma said, "coma"? but the mana, the mind, is there, and it has secrets unknown,