OS - This Day That Year

The bells at the temple are peeling! The wind howling, thrashing everything in its path as I am dragged up the temple steps by the man that I had just given my heart away to. But this isn't love, the urgency in my steps isn't love, the look in his eyes isn't love!! This is a deal brokered for the happiness of my sister! This is a pact made with the devil incarnate, a sacrifice of my happiness for that of my sister! Why am I forced to do it? I don't know! But like everything that concerns Arnav Singh Raizada, no one knows but him!

The symbols of love and marriage that I held so dear are thrown in my face, reduced to mere objects that would link me to this man for the next six months. I look at him hoping to see some answer in those eyes that tell me everything when words fail him! The caramel of those eyes shielded in anger and rage as they glare back at me, piercing through my heart and soul, destroying everything in its path! I'm taken aback at the anger I see there... I want to run…I'm trying to free my hand from his grip, but he squeezes further, hurting me. But I don't see his eyes reflect any of the pain and hurt…they are just cold and angry!

"Tumhe mujhse shaadi karni padegi! Aaj! Abhi! Nahin toh main tumhare Jiji ki shaadi mere bhai se nahin hone doonga!"

"Nahin!!!!"

"Khushiji? Khushji utheye….9 baj gaye…!"

My eyes spring open at the sound of a soothing female voice. Di is sitting beside me on the bed and looking at me with questioning eyes!

"Khushiji are you alright? You're sweating rather profusely! The AC seems to be working fine…"

"I'm fine Di, just a bad dream…what was the time you said?"

"Its 9 am…we finished with the aarti and Chotte has already left for office…"

"He has left already?! And I missed aarti…that too today of all days!! Hai Devi Maiyya please forgive me, I'll give you extra Prasad tomorrow! Tsk tsks Khushi…how can you be like this…how could you oversleep today…..of all days Khushi!!!"

"Khushiji…what happened?" Di's hand is on my shoulder trying to calm me down but I'm lost in my own world. "What is so important about today, Khushiji?"

"Nothing Di, I just didn't want to miss today's aarti…it's Jiji's first wedding anniversary na….so I wanted to be there for her….let me get ready and go meet her first. Thank you for waking me up Di!"

Di smiles and walks towards the door. She stops and glances back at me and I give her my 100 watt smile to tell her everything is alright. Once she has safely gone and the door is shut I throw my head in my hands continuously berating myself for oversleeping…and that dream….and he forgot today….he didn't wait for me today…did he forget today? Did he forget this day that changed our lives forever?

No Khushi, he must have had some important work or meeting so he must have left early…anyways why are you so bothered about today? Today is about Jiji and Jijaji….you have to be happy for them and finish all the preparations for tonight's party...now stop it and get out of this bed and carry on with your day!

A few hours later, I have finished making the sweets for this evening, the house is decorated, rooms are cleaned, the caterers and musicians have been called and everything is in place.

Everything but my heart!

Even though I am smiling for the world, there is a nagging feeling inside. I'm anxious and jittery, constantly staring at the clock. I haven't spoken to him the whole day. I tried calling him but his secretary answered saying he was in a meeting. I just told her to make sure he has his lunch and comes home soon for the party.

My eyes stray to the clock again and it's only 2:30. Di comes looking for me to help her decide what to wear this evening…oh good…something to pass my time with! I go after her to her bedroom to help her select something.

One hour later, I'm back to being bored and restless. Everything is ready and set for a grand party but my heart is not in peace…this day means so much that I want to forget about it…this is not the day of my wedding to Arnavji…it was never a wedding that day…this day is about Jiji's wedding. Why won't my heart listen and be calm.

I wander into Jiji's room seeing if she needs my assistance, but I find her fast asleep. Jijaji has taken an off today but he is busy with some files in the study…I ask him if he wants some tea but HP has already beaten me to that. Taking my cue from Jiji, I head to my room to rest for a while. Nanheji is also not at home; otherwise I would've been watching old Hindi films with him and passing my time.

I lie down on my bed and try to fall asleep, but sleep evades me. Thinking I'll get a headache if I force myself, I take to cleaning and settling my cupboard. Arnavji always says I'm too messy, well let's get that rectified.

One and a half hour later, I've not only cleaned my side of the cupboard but his as well, along with the rest of the room. It's now spotless.

Time 5 pm!

Arnavji should be home anytime now. I try his phone again but it goes to voice mail. That reminds me, I should ask him to change his voicemail message with something a little more pleasant. Laad Governor that he is wants to scare people on the phone as well.

I start getting ready for the party, so I'm not occupying the bathroom when he comes home. By 6:30, I'm showered, dressed and ready and head down to the living room. Mamiji, Di and Naniji are already there sitting and having a late evening tea. I turn to Di,

"Di, Jiji hasn't come down yet?"

"No Khushiji, I checked if she needed help getting ready but she said she has Akaash to help her" both of us burst into giggles, while Mami fumes away. Nani too, joins in our laughing but stops almost immediately.

"Anjali bitiya…today is about them…let them have their fun"

"Every day is about them since they got married…I don't get to spend time with my son at all. Hello hi bye bye." Mamiji starts her ranting.

"Khushiji, has Chotte come home yet?"

"Nahin Di. I called his phone also but it went to voice mail. I spoke with Aman and reminded him that Arnavji has to be home early today but see na Di, he's still late."

"Don't worry Khushi bitiya, he must be on his way. He wouldn't miss the party."

Right on cue I hear footsteps in the hall but it is only HP informing us that the first of the guest have arrived. Time to stop worrying about Arnavji; I'll deal with him later!

Nani, Mamiji and Di head out to welcome the guest, while I make my way up to Jiji's room to tell her about the guest. Nanheji has returned and is playing very loud English music in his room. I tap on the door to tell him to hush down.

He opens the door only on the third time I knock and I take it to be because of the loud music. When he opens the door, something seems amiss, he's breathing very hard like as if he's been running and there's sweat on his forehead.

"Khushiji, hi, I ah I was just dancing you see, ah practicing for this evening…ah you need ah something?"

I poke my head further into the room and notice something move behind the curtain…Nanheji notices too. "Very windy day na Khushiji? I must remember to shut the windows. Ah Khushiji, did you need something?"

"Huh? Yes…I came to tell you that the guests have started arriving so turn down the music volume."

"Oh ok…I'll do that and I'll get ready for the party too…I'll see you down in a while." He smiles and quickly shut's the door.

Something was very odd about Nanheji, like he was trying to hide something and who was that behind the curtain? Ah well! Nanheji is always thoda sa pagal…that's why we get along so well.

I head back down and start mixing around with the guest. At 7:30 Jiji and Jijaji make their way down the steps. Arnavji has still not returned and I'm beginning to worry. His phone is also coming switched off. I just can't shake the feeling that something is wrong with him. Arnavji wouldn't miss this…he would've been here hours ago.

It's 8 and Nanheji comes bouncing up to me…

"Khushiji" he says with a big smile, "can you bring Nannav's camera from the room, there seems to be a problem with mine."

"Sure Nanheji, I'll just go get it. Don't cut the cake without me."

I walk up quickly to the room so that I can rush back and witness the cutting of the cake. So what is Arnavji misses his bhai's big moment? I'm going to be there for Jiji.

I open the door to the room and feel a cold wind hit me. I'm sure I closed the pool side door…oh never mind…it's pretty dark in the room but I know where I've kept the camera, since I cleant the cupboards this evening.

I take two steps towards the cupboard and the lights suddenly come on. I'm blinded for a second and try to refocus my eyes. Right in from of me is a beautifully decorated table with white cloth and red roses and petals strewn around. Sitting in the middle of the table is a delicious looking chocolate cake.

I turn around and find Arnavji standing behind with a knowing smile on his face. I look at him, my eyes almost filling with tears and smile a watery smile back. He rushes to me and wipes away my tears, shaking his head all the time. Quietly he leads me towards the table and turns me to face it. I look down at the cake and see the words written on them,

"I love you dammit!"

I let out a small chuckle as I remember the first time Arnavji said those words to me. Since then, these four words have become our own trademark.

He holds out his hand to me with the knife to cut the cake. And together without anyone around us we cut the cake remembering how important this day is to us. We feed each other small pieces of the cake and he leads me towards the bed and makes me sit.

Once I'm seated, Arnavji goes down on his knees in front of me and I look at him curiously. I move to tell him to sit next to me but he silences me with his finger on my lips.

"Khushi, I know I married you again with all the customs and rituals in front of everyone. And I know that I've asked and received your forgiveness for all the sins I committed against you, but today, I feel like I have more to be sorry for. I was a fool this day a year ago when I forced you to marry me. I ruined your innocence and your belief in all things sacred about marriage. Forgive me Khushi! Help me make this day a pleasant one for us to remember. I'm sorry for all the pain and suffering I have caused you, knowingly, during those first few months. You are a much bigger person than I am and I will ever be… forgive me Khushi!"

"Shush" I rush and place my hand over his mouth. "Nahin Arnavji! You don't have to say such things….what happened in the past doesn't matter. This day doesn't matter! I am yours and you are mine and we love each other…that's all that matters. You don't have to feel sorry or bad. This day doesn't matter Arnavji!"

"It does Khushi. To me it does. This is the day I made the biggest mistake of my life. And I want to make it right."

Slowly from his pant pocket he removes a small dibbi and I quickly notice it is my sindoor dibbi. Slowly, Arnavji pinches a little sindoor between his fingers and moves his hand to the parting on my head.

He looks at me in the eyes, our eyes brimming with tears and whispers, "This sindoor is a sign of my love for you. I will never do anything or say anything that will diminish its value in our lives. I will love you forever and keep you happy always." Gently I feel his fingers touch my head placing the sindoor as a steady stream of tears flow from my eyes. He cups my chin in his fingers and whispers "I love you" before he places a chaste kiss on them.

We are both pulled out of our private moment by a knock on the door. "Khushiji, the camera! They are about to cut the cake."

"What the…" Arnavji mutters in frustration. "First he helps me plan this whole thing, and then he comes and ruins it!"

"What?" I ask suddenly remembering the movement behind the curtain in Nanheji's room.

"Nothing! Nothing! Let's go down shall we. We'll come back to our celebrations later." Arnavji says and winks at me. And all I can do is smile shyly back at him quickly forgetting my curiosity at his last statement.

He takes my hand in his and leads me out of the room and down to the main party area. And as we walk, hand in hand towards the family, surrounded by red and white decorations, I remember how this day, the greatest day of love, made me hate the idea of love just last year and how on this greatest day of love I found my love this year.

My hand reaches to touch my head where Arnavji has just put the sindoor and I smile to myself. I have my Valentine and he may be a Laad Governor sometimes but he's mine.