IPKKND OS: The Brightest Star

As he stared at the stars, he wondered how one mistake had changed his life so drastically. It had been five years since he had smiled, five years since his family had looked at him with anything other than anger, five years since he had thrown out his happiness, his Khushi.

I thought every person was allowed one mistake. Why wasn't I?

"Because you didn't make a mistake. You committed a crime."

He didn't realize he had been talking out loud until he heard her voice. Payal. His brother's wife, who hadn't spoken to him in five years, after that fateful day when she had begged him to listen to her sister, pleaded with him to believe her. He hadn't listened then. But he was listening now.

Her words rang inside his head, echoing over and over again. "You committed a crime. You committed a crime."

How dare she? Did she not see his pain, his suffering? How dare she speak as if he did not regret his actions every single moment of every single day? Rational thought became lost as cold rage consumed him. He did not like to be told he had messed up. ASR took over, and though he knew this was exactly what had ruined his life five years ago, he could not help himself. Some things never do change.

"I made an error in judgment. I was ready to concede my mistake, and I looked for her. But she disappeared. That is not my problem."

"Your error in judgment killed her joy for life, her innocence. And that is not something anyone can forgive, not even God."

"Not even God." But Khushi would forgive him. She always did. He didn't speak, waiting for Payal to finish her tirade. She had waited five years to get it off her chest. He owed her this much. After all, she had suffered along with him. Not as much as him, but she had been in pain too.

When she didn't continue, he looked at her closely. Something was different today. The hate that had always been present within her eyes for the past five years was absent. All he saw today was immeasurable sadness and pity. Pity. That emotion stopped him short and a cold wave of dread passed through his heart.

He strode forward quickly and grabbed Payal roughly by the shoulders.

"What happened? What do you know? Tell me, DAMMIT!"

That was when Akash stepped forward. He hadn't noticed him in the shadows, but he had been there all along. As he had always been. It was Akash who gently removed Arnav's hands from his wife's shoulders. And it was Akash that told him. "Khushiji is dead Bhai. She has been for three years."

Khushi was dead. No, that wasn't possible. His heart was still beating. If she had died, he wouldn't still be standing here. He would have gone along with her. Their heartbeats were entwined, so if she was no more then why was he still alive?

"She wanted you to have this Bhai." Akash placed something small and slender in Arnav's hand and slowly led Payal away, who was now sobbing. Arnav looked down at the object resting in his palm. Her mother's payal. Khushi had once told him that she would never take them off. But it was sitting in the palm of his hand right now. Which could only mean one thing.

He had been more wrong than he initially thought. He thought he had nothing after Khushi left. But he had hope, hope that she would one day return. But now, he truly had nothing. As he sank down onto his knees, he gazed up at the stars again. Why hadn't he noticed before? There was one star, shining more brightly and brilliantly than all the others. He had finally found his Khushi again, after five years.

Akash watched helplessly as his wife hurled herself onto their bed, her gut-wrenching sobs piercing his heart, which was overridden with guilt. He did not know how to console or comfort Payal. He was afraid to look into her eyes, to see the blame in them. Khushiji was dead. His bhabi. Never again would he hear her infectious laugh, never again would he taste her sweet jalebis, never again would he see her eyes widen in outrageous shock. Never again. He owed his entire life to her. She had sacrificed so much for him; first, she had conspired to bring Payal and him together and then she had laid down her own life at his Bhai's feet so he, Akash, could have his happily ever after. He had done nothing that day, stood by, helpless, as Bhai had ruthlessly thrown Khushiji out of Shantivan, proclaiming his disgust for her. He himself had fallen for that bas***d's lies, failing to see the innocence shining out of Khushiji's eyes. Angry at himself, for not having done anything five years ago, and for not being able to do anything now, Akash strode out of the room. As he gently closed the door behind himself, his phone rang and Akash picked up, hearing a voice he had not heard for five years, the voice of the one person who could live without the shadow of guilt forever chasing him, the one person who had seen the truth, the one person who had believed in innocence.

"NK Bhai?"

"Akash, I'm in Delhi right now. Can you meet me? It's important." The voice, which had always been full of happiness, which had always lightened the mood of everyone around him, was unusually somber.

"Of course, NK Bhai. I'm on my way right now."

As Akash made his way to the hotel NK was staying at, he remembered how NK had followed Khushi straight out of the door that horrible day five years ago, when his beautiful family had splintered apart into ragged fragments. All because of that one man. Di had been in denial, along with the rest of them, until irrefutable proof had been thrown in their faces. Proof painstakingly collected by NK. He had not bothered to come see them, but merely sent the CD's and paperwork to them in the mail. Di had broken down, but she was stronger than she looked. It wasn't her husband's betrayal that had shattered her, but the torment of guilt that she had ruined an innocent's life and that of her beloved Chotte's as well. Shyam was deranged, sick in the mind, but they had no such excuse to justify their behavior. They had chosen to ignore the truth. And that was the greatest tragedy of all; for though Shyam had destroyed their family, the true blame lay within themselves, because they had let him.

"Nanehe chachu! Who are we waiting for?"

Akash froze. That voice. He hadn't heard that voice in five years. But.. it couldn't be. He whipped around and the sight before his eyes brought tears to his eyes and a smile to his lips. No one member of the Raizada family had smiled like that in five years.

Arnav was still lying on the floor near the pool, staring at the stars, at his Khushi, when he heard the sound of payal. Payal. No one had worn payal in five years. He lurched to his feet and the sudden motion made his head spin. Disregarding the dizziness, Arnav sprinted towards the sound, collapsing in a heap at the feet of the figure before him.

"Chachu! What happened to him? Is this the Laad Governor Mamma always talked about? The one who can't eat jalebis? Is this him? Chachu! Why is no one answering me? And who is that man with the glasses? Why does he keep looking at me and smiling? And who are those two women? Why won't they let go of me? Why are they crying? Why is everyone crying?? CHACHU!"

"Sweetheart, why don't you go out to the garden and look at the flowers? I need to talk to these people for a little bit. It's time they faced the truth."

As the little girl danced away, Arnav sprang to his feet and made to go after her. But NK stopped him with a hand on his arm and one word: "Arnav." That one word, his name, was enough to halt him, for NK had never called him Arnav. NK had always referred to him as Nannav, much to his annoyance, but now he sorely missed the endearment. It was true. You never knew what you had until it was gone. Arnav had learned that lesson the hard way.

Cancer. She had cancer. They could have treated her, but that would have meant aborting the child, and Khushi, stubborn as she was, had refused to do so. She had survived for two years after giving birth, a miracle in itself, but then she had left. Left him. But she had left their daughter for him. Khushi had always given him what he needed, though he had never given her anything in return, except for pain and sorrow. It was NK who had stood by her when she needed someone. NK had given her support through her difficult pregnancy. And it was NK who his daughter now regarded as the only family she had, after her Mamma had gone to be with Devi Maiyya. Khushi had explained it all carefully to her beloved child. She had Nanehe Chachu, but who did Devi Maiyya have? That was why, she, Khushi, had to go and be with her. The little girl had nodded seriously. Mamma had taught her that sharing was very important and she wouldn't disappoint her now. But would Mamma ever visit her again? And Khushi had given her the other payal in response. "I will always be there with you, my love."

Arnav listened to the story in silence. Around him, his entire family sobbed incessantly. Nani, Di, Payal, and Akash all had tears running down their faces but Arnav's remained dispassionate, as if it were carved out of stone. But NK saw the pain in Arnav's eyes, the same pain that was reflected in his own, as they silently mourned the woman they both had, and continued, to love.

Arnav finally broke the silence. "What's her name?"

"Arshi."

In that moment Arnav knew, that though no one, including himself, including God, would ever forgive him, Khushi had. As he knew she would. He glanced at the sky, at his star. Thank you Khushi. Thank you for giving me a reason to live again.