IPKKND Manual for kidnapping!!

What you must do to kidnap a business tycoon (BT) with special ROFL moments!😉

1. You should only tie BT's hands for a Rabba Vey so that he hallucinates about his beloved and gives a trembling push to TRPs.

2. Once this fails, you should untie BT's hands and feet and let him roam about the hideout as if it is his personal garden for another attempt at Rabba Vey leading to a hug and a hut!!!

3. Even when the BT gives you threats of running before next sunset, you should not pay any heed and let him do push ups and play hide and seek with you since your budget of some ropes have already been consumed.

4. You shall provide the BT with a pen and purposely leave the food bill for him to send a clue to his beloved.

5. You will leave the BT for few hours and shop for his loved ones all the while leaving him unattended. Destiny will favour you by making the BT dumb enough not to escape!

6. When you get the instructions to kill the BT, you completely shut down your olfactory system so that you can't make any difference between kerosene and water.

7. You will NEVER let your goons eat food with iodine or have a health drink because this is the MAIN requisite for the kidnapping team- Dumbness.

8. You will fight with the BT one by one even when you are 8 people surrounding him and in a position to catch him in few seconds. You are paid for letting the hero have his heroics!

9. When the BT follows your boss and his abducted wife, you shall first wear helmets and ride; for nothing you are law abiding kidnappers!

10. The MAIN point- you shall NEVER carry pistols with you while you are following the BT! You will ONLY extend your hands helplessly wishing that you were 'kaanoon with lambe haath'! Carrying pistols might have punctured his suave jeep and put the BT at your mercy; SO not done given the impending wrath of BT's fan girls' brigade.

11. You shall follow the BT as if he hired you to be part of his royal convoy.

12. You will wait to take off your helmets and then attack the BT who might be 'thinking' of rescuing his wife.

13. You must have few 'Mr. India' watches so that at convenience your men can disappear and leave the numbers from 8 to 5 or 3 at times. Continuously fighting 8 men is tiring for the BT and unrealistic too.

14. You must ignore the wife of BT continuously call his name from behind and let the fight sequence stretch for a few more minutes so that your slow brains finally realise that atleast one of you has a gun to use for threatening the couple.

15. You must learn to run away when one of you is put on gun point by the BT so that he finally has only one man to fight whom he can easily hit and go on for his wife rescuing mission.

16. And after this, you must find another stupid cupid for a boss and a BT to continue your ROFL moments in your kidnapping career!😆

What must a business tycoon with ultimate brains do when kidnapped.

1. First and foremost, plan for a shooting schedule which can stretch to 15/28/40/45 days and put your brains to sleep so that you remain captive for those many days.😆

2. Despite your hands being untied, you should never try to injure or hit or dupe the goons for your escape.

3. You should never try to flee when the sole kidnapper goes buying shopping gifts for your family; this is the only chance of sending some free gifts to them!

4. You should recite Hanuman Chalisa for as long as you are captive so that you have the strength of the Monkey God whenever you are fighting with 5-8 goons at a time for 2 consecutive episodes.

5. You must all of a sudden lose sight of the car while following your wife and her abductor so that he has a chance of tying your wife in the middle of the road and abandoning her.

6. You must suddenly freeze when you find your wife in that helpless situation and wait for the goons to arrive to jolt you from the state so that you can continue 'thinking' about rescuing her.

7. You must continue to fight and fight till the goons make it comfortable for you to go on your wife rescuing mission.

Some MUST dos for CVs to turn an intense script into a comic show by some shoddy treatment. After all we are here to spread smiles and laughter!

1. Learn something from the above stated points for starters.

2. S-T-R-E-T-C-H the kidnapping track for 15/28/40/45/eternity and put the brains of the team on snooze of 2 weeks.

3. Alternate brilliant brains with extreme dumbness to satisfy all sections of viewers.

4. Inject the male lead with kryptonite so that he can continue fighting with superhuman abilities.

5. Keep shooting for fight sequences for full episode despite being boring and uninspiring because you have to make use of each penny paid to the action director.😆

6. Hire more people on team so that they can continue to pen down and direct such tracks to keep the sarcasm of people like me alive and kicking!😛

Comments and likes would help me upgrade the manual. Do help😉

😆me thinking the same thing! todays episode was filled with bloopers!

LOL! 2:30 am, and I really should be sleeping, but this topic is hilarious.. Let me add some points in the Manual for the dumb BT's shrewd wife.

". Inject the male lead with kryptonite so that he can continue fighting with superhuman abilities."

kiddo, i think you are mistaking kryptonite for something else.. 😃

yes, todays episode had too many bloopers😡. the editor is slacking off again!

Originally posted by: appy_12

LOL! 2:30 am, and I really should be sleeping, but this topic is hilarious.. Let me add some points in the Manual for the dumb BT's shrewd wife.

• Become wonderwoman and replace kerosene with water. Remember, do not throw away the kerosene. Instead, store it. Fuel prices are rising, and you'r helping the environment and mankind.
• Please engage in useless conversations with the villain.. Please.
• Confess your love for the hero, oops, BT -- to the villain.
• Scream BT's name like, a hundred times.. No, not all at a time. Store some for the action sequence where you do nothing but shout.
• Wait till the villain comes and buckles you up safely.
• Then, don't do anything to the villain in the first shot, just look at him.
• The second shot is where the action is. Shout at the villain to leave you. Bollywood dialogues like 'Bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chod do' work wonders here.
• Should the villain get frustrated and get out of the vehicle, don't move.
• Wait for him to take you out. You're the lady. You don't work.
• Let him tie your feet up nicely, don't kick his face even if you get the chance to when he tied your feet.
• Make no move. Don't roll. Absolutely no movement. You can remove your golden slippers though.
• After freeing yourself surprisingly fast, don't help your husband come what may. You may scream his name.
• Pop in between kidnappers and scream his name, you can try other styles too.
• Act like a rag doll. Let Lallan push you just lightly, making you do two rounds and then fall into the valley below.
• The above action must be done accompanied with the screaming.
• Disappear.

Originally posted by: appy_12

LOL! 2:30 am, and I really should be sleeping, but this topic is hilarious.. Let me add some points in the Manual for the dumb BT's shrewd wife.

• Become wonderwoman and replace kerosene with water. Remember, do not throw away the kerosene. Instead, store it. Fuel prices are rising, and you'r helping the environment and mankind.
• Please engage in useless conversations with the villain.. Please.
• Confess your love for the hero, oops, BT -- to the villain.
• Scream BT's name like, a hundred times.. No, not all at a time. Store some for the action sequence where you do nothing but shout.
• Wait till the villain comes and buckles you up safely.
• Then, don't do anything to the villain in the first shot, just look at him.
• The second shot is where the action is. Shout at the villain to leave you. Bollywood dialogues like 'Bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chod do' work wonders here.
• Should the villain get frustrated and get out of the vehicle, don't move.
• Wait for him to take you out. You're the lady. You don't work.
• Let him tie your feet up nicely, don't kick his face even if you get the chance to when he tied your feet.
• Make no move. Don't roll. Absolutely no movement. You can remove your golden slippers though.
• After freeing yourself surprisingly fast, don't help your husband come what may. You may scream his name.
• Pop in between kidnappers and scream his name, you can try other styles too.
• Act like a rag doll. Let Lallan push you just lightly, making you do two rounds and then fall into the valley below.
• The above action must be done accompanied with the screaming.
• Disappear.

Originally posted by: guturgutur

". Inject the male lead with kryptonite so that he can continue fighting with superhuman abilities."

kiddo, i think you are mistaking kryptonite for something else.. 😃

really loved this!!!!!!!..
it was too funny!!!!..
really ROFLing rite now...
ahahah..

I am laughing so hard.

so funny!!!! u guys bhi na?????? i was swallowing everythin so tat arshi can come together!!!