Arnav's FIREFLY

(Kindly wait while the pictures load)

After a long break from making posts, I've decided to make a weekend post. But pardon me, I do not intend to linger on every episode and I'm not in a mood to go too deep into anything. This post is merely to show some key highlights that remained in my mind and I had been dying to share with all of you...

Of course, we can see the red dupatta as Kushi's protected virginity but I'm trying to see this in a different angle here. Its interesting how on the fatal night of their secret wedding, Kushi's Devi Mayya should show up as a red cloth fluttering before ASR who broke the heart of her innocent devotee by forcing her to enter into a marriage she was not willing to enter into. But Arnav, in all his authoritative power, challenges the goddess to try and stop him from proceeding and he makes sure that nothing will stand in his way to acquiring Kushi as his wife. He clasps the red barrier that tries to hinder him from accessing the broken hearted girl. Of course, he had no intentions of appeasing her then. Fast forward to last Monday, and what do we get: Arnav himself voluntarily drawing the red barrier, protecting his Kushi from all that is seen and unseen. Arnav and Kushi are not the only participants in their love story; the divine factor that keeps pushing them into each other's arms cannot be ignored. And this red factor is teaching Arnav what his wife is for him. He keeps her pure in his eyes when he draws the red curtain shut for her. And when Kushi willfully draws it back, she is led by the powers of fate to accept her Arnavji as her own, despite the hurts he has gifted her so far in their (pre-) matrimonial life.

Our Arnav is not angry with her anymore. On the contrary, he's wild with hunger for her. My radar to detect the "too-obvious-BD-usage" was turned off when I watched this epi which helped me pick out some key elements. Gotta give it to his expressions: when he looks at her as if seeing her for the first time, seeing her in all the glory he could never have dreamed her to be adorned in...And when he comes to her, (second row of pics) his eyes are like a child's, curious and needy. "Can I have some of you, please?" And who said he kissed her neck? He did not. Go watch it again and you'll see by Kushi's expressions and Arnav's move into the curve of her neck that he had probably 'intended' to kiss her neck and she had 'expected' him to and had instinctively closed her eyes. But he didn't kiss her and only smelled her hair (or her neck!) and withdrew, which is why she opens her eyes and looks 'doubtfully' at him. What is on his mind? He doesn't want her standing, he gives that I WANT YOU NOW look with his pressed lips (fourth row), and lifts her into his arms. And then comes the 'lying down' look. His move is slow and taking. He wants every moment taken slowly, to be relsihed and remembered. He wants to take her little by little, slowly, lingering... No wonder the nave girl was flustered! With that slow tiger-like approach of his, which woman would not!

If I'm right, men are able to do things quick and women like it slow. Arnav Singh Raizada is fast in everything he does and when it comes to love-making, we could have expected him to be himself. But he was willing to be slow, willing to let things take its time in making its impression. He carried her to the haystack with as much care as a husband would carry his pregnant wife (sorry for the use but that is the extreme kind of care I saw!) and then when he tries to undress her, he is unhurried and watchful of how she is taking it. He gives 'her' a lot of importance in this union where he could easily have had an upper hand. He wants to do it FOR HER. Though the scene ended here and the fire was short-lived, I loved the intensity and hope that when all the MU mess is over, we'll get to see some more of it WITHOUT BDs!

Seriously! I freaked out seeing the last scene! I was under a loss as to why it happened, why he had actually hit her to silence her stubbornness. And then I remembered who we were dealing with here. Arnav Singh Raizada who hurt the woman he loved because he LOVED HER LIKE HELL!!! How many times in the past eleven months, we have seen him hurting her mercilessly but each time dying within. But he had to hurt her tokeep himself from confessing his love to her. Here, the confession is past. Then why does he hurt her? To protect her. Yes, Arnav hurts the ones he loves. But he hurts even more, within, on account of that. Desperation led him to make a quick decision and though it may sound shocking, if we see it through the eyes of Kushi, may be we can see what Arnav actually meant. Frankly, Arnav said I LOVE YOU to Kushi not to us, so she would understand his motives more clearly than us! She knew something was not right when he embraced her (first row of pics), and Arnav was willing to surrender himself before the gun as long as he knew his Kushi was safe. But what broke my heart was the way he actually hid her. Yes, he hid her well, kissed her on the forehead too: the forehead that had once placed a teeka on his forehead! The forehead that wore the sindoor, a religious seal that she was his...But the way he laid the hay was very disturbing, it was like he was--yikes!! I'm not going there!!!! But I'll tell you one thing: could it imply that one day he will have to "kill" and "bury" 'his love for her' to save her from harm and that when morning arrives (a few days span) she will herself understand why he did it? But how lovely she looks sleeping on the hay, hit by the protecting love of her husband, kissed by his assuring love...made to sleep by him who longs to sleep with her too.

Kushi is afraid of the dark. And Arnav interprets her expressed fear as the result of the darkness around her. He asks her to close her eyes and count to ten. (I still am left to comprehend that the business tycoon was ready to catch a fluttering firefly like any ordinary barn boy. How much our Arnav bitwa has changed for his love!) She counts to ten but does not open her eyes. She calls his name and waits. Still does not open her eyes. He places something into her hand and that is when she opens her eyes. The rest you know...but wait! When the firefly escapes, Arnav is saddened. But Kushi assures him. Kushi the fearer of darkness tells him, 'its okay'. It is then that he learns that her initial fear was not of darkness. It was the fear of having to lose him again. When asked to close her eyes, she was not shutting herself from a world of darkness. She was shutting her eyes from a world where there was no Arnav. And after counting to 10, she did not open her eyes. She wouldn't open them until she is assured that he is back in her world. When he places the urn into her hands, she opens her eyes but it is for him and not for the light he has brought. When the firefly escapes, she smiles at him and he gets the message: it is you I want with me. Then I shall fear no darkness. I cannot lose you again.

Now we come to our topic. And it is all about fireflies. No, not the tiny ones that you can squish. The symbolic fireflies! Fireflies stand for hope, guidance, energy and inner beauty. And yes, we are about to see how Arnav finally "caught" his firefly in the little urn of his heart...

Ah, when the firefly flew off, did you see how these two looked at it flutter away into the light? How they looked into the light in silence? Together? Reminded me of the last time they looked up together: When they were looking at their parents in the stars. Here, the firefly is their immortal parents. Since stars and fireflies can only be seen in the dark, we can see how ArHi are enveloped in darkness internally and externally...not just by the external dangers but the internal hurts, doubts and disbelief too. But when they choose to look up together, they will see how the firefly leads them to understanding that their parents are always there for them (I don't know if that includes Arnav's dad, though), and this is how the "firefly" consoles them.

This may be lame but when Arnav tells Kushi "firefly" and when Kushi says firefly in Hindi, they are actually unconsciously referring to each other. You are my firefly...

Ah, now we're talking! For Arnav who has always lived in darkness and consciously pushed himself into a shadow even when he stood in the spotlight of the world's fame, there is only person who has shown him the way out. His lighthouse, his Olympic torch, his sacrificing candle, his firefly, his Kushi...

Not just at the hut but even in the Teri Meri dance and in many other occasions, we see how Arnav stands in the dark and is driven to move towards the light, towards Kushi. He reaches out to her (second row) and knows that one day they will walk towards each other and into the light (third row of pics) and that in the light they will become one! (First pic in the fourth row, you'll see the light falling from above upon them as they stand together). Arnav is willing to accept and unravel the wonders of this light as it heals him...this light that is his happiness. He cannot live without her and he is led to move towards her. If he once said that he wants her to remain at a distance for to breathe the same air she breathes is "disgusting," then here is the real Arnav who has found his firefly and he moves towards capturing her and enclosing her in the darkness of his heart where she will always remain to light his life...

I was heartbroken by the precap myself for a specific reason. When I saw Arnav thrown before the ground, at the snake's feet! Yeek!! It apprehends me of the reason why he was bound and kidnapped in the first place. Whatever it be, Arnav is at the mercy of Shyam: Shyam wants both money and Kushi (though he wants money more these days!) and Arnav might reach a point where he has to choose between his Di and his Kushi. Don't want to go to Mami's comically said statement here! But the inevitable is around the bend, I guess...but I have strong feelings that all will be fine. Arnav is not an idiot: he will think of something whereby he will lose neither his sister nor his love and he will also be able to deal with Shyam babua as he should! The red cloth is fluttering!! DeviMayya is with them!

I'm glad Kushi has "grown" to understand what her Arnavji really means to her now. Losing him is like dying within, she no longer smiles, no more Kushi...remembering him brings tears of desperate need to have him back. Her firefly not in the urn anymore, the gifted heart-locket that will have to remain open because the person who completes the heart is not there with her...

The epis are filled with a lot of movement now though characters keep flitting from original to made-up. Love that darkling NK is back!!! And his freaky dance moves! Glad to have Mami connecting with Kushi and so glad that Arnav's heart-breaking kidnapping has led to such a warm bonding! Don't you worry Kushi, Mami and NK are with you and you'll get your "kushi" back before you know it!

And what do they intend in making villains look hot? This one has marvelous acting skills, frankly and I like watching his expressions (better than Shyamwa's twitchings!) though I couldn't help laughing at the way he bulged his eyes when holding the gun before Kushi's face. Was he trying to be scary? He was more scared than scary when he was slapped like a girl by the hidden-in-the-dark-Shyamwa and he had wept sorry, promising never to commit a mistake again!!! So like a kid! Guess they are the snake's apprentices! The other goons are all comedy and its nice to laugh after a tiring college day!

Rest of the episodes are also worth watching and musing over. Interpretations could be there but I don't focus much these days for I am quite disturbed that the characters are sometimes not quite in their characters. The magic and richness of the show is not the same and I am waiting for it to return. I know it will as soon as all the movie hungama is over. I know our cast and crew are tried and killing themselves working to make us happy, but there is something about them that is not quite reaching out to us as it used to.*sigh*

As a final note: missing the poolside badly these days!! What had once been an action driven by physical attraction, turned to frequent ego-clashes, came to end in a dream sequence where Arnav's I LOVE YOU triggered Kushi to understanding what he really felt for her. And consequently what she really felt for him.

Though they could no longer see each other, Kushi knew that if they had been together, they would have seen love in each other's eyes...

So, are they really ready to take their love to the next level? Is the contract marriage to be made "null and void"? Is Kushi willing to forgive him for all the merciless hurts and offer her hand to him? Maybe they are...but I believe they need some more time, some more patching up. Arnav really needs to repent for all that he has done to her. Its okay if it takes time, as long as they do it the RIGHT way. After all, they saw each other first thing on New Years' Day and as Nanheji said, these two will have no other choice but to spend the rest of their life together, no matter what happens!

Hoping that all will turn better soon and loving ArHi more madly as always, I now make way for you, my dear friends and visitors, to add in your opinions and thoughts regarding any aspect or feature in the episodes of the past week. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts! [/NOCOPY]