His final thoughts
Her gentle gasps of breaths, her chiming of bangles as she clutched at the phone with both hands, her relentless efforts to hold the sobs echoing across to him; he heard everything as if she was standing right next to him. He could also hear her heart beat through many miles separating them. He had always known their heart beats synched with each other.
His heart that cried for the woman he loved, for the love they lost, for the feelings unexpressed, for the emotions withheld.
Nothing mattered to him any more; except one. All hatred of the past was momentarily at a standstill as he looked plainly at the truth, the truth of his heart, his heart which was barricaded to all, yet her gentle sweetness seeped inside of it's own accord; a small clue to the extent she had penetrated him, his heart and his soul.
Nothing mattered to him anymore; except her. She must know. He didn't expect her to love him in return. Yet she must know. Everything is drawing to a close. What was the point in hiding any longer? She must know everything; everything about his heart before it was too late. He won't be able to bear it if he had to leave without her acknowledgement of his feelings.
He faltered for a moment. It was now or never.
"Kushi I love you"
Her sobs had ceased. He knew she was standing there, holding the phone tightly as if it's her life line, a lone tear rolling down her cheek.
He closed his eyes painfully, her face swimming in front of his eyes yet an agonizing sense of relief washing over him. He had said it at last. The one truth his heart was hiding for many months was finally out in the open.
His relief, pain, gut wrenching sadness, remorse, grief, regret all mixed in one emotion- Love.
He opened his eyes and looked straight into the barrel of the gun pointing at him. He was no longer intimidated by it.
As the phone was snatched roughly away from him, he stared at the last bit of evidence of her, her voice, her presence slipping away from him.
Oh if he could have only hugged her one last time, caressed her hair, kissed her to his heart's content and wiped her tears with a gentle hand.
He let himself be dragged to a lone chair. He wasn't making much of an effort to fight back. The end was inevitable. So he was trying his best to hold on to her memories until that end. Her smiles, her laughter, her feel, her voice, her face; everything that was of her that reminded him of her, that held dear to her was lying there, baring before his eyes, moving in a collage of memories and flashes.
He felt tight ropes cutting into his torso. He gave a nonchalant stare at the barrel of the gun pointing at him.
He had wasted so much time engulfed in his own sick puddle of pretend-hatred overlooking and concealing his feelings for her even from his own self.
Even when the time was ripe he was deluded, blinded by his own insecurities. He had refused to listen to his heart. And now, he was finally too late. All those times when he could have held her and loved her to his heart's content is lost and gone forever.
He would never be able to love her as he had wanted, protect her from all things that would harm her.
Fear clawed his insides. Who would look after her when he is gone? That evil monster still lurked. What would happen to her? He had asked Akash to look after her. He hoped he would keep his promise.
What if Akash failed? His blood ran cold as an icy chill gripped his body. Fear for her safety and well being replaced all thoughts of his own approaching demise. He didn't care if he had to die as long as she was healthy and happy.
She would be alright. She must be alright. He couldn't bear to think of the alternative. He ran a fervent wish that Akash and his family would always protect her and keep her happy.
Would she be able to cope with the loss? What would the society say to her; a young widow? Would she be happy with another man?
He firmly crushed his thoughts unable to complete the thought process.
He would die peacefully if only he can be assured that she would be happy and contended even after he was gone, that she would regain her life's delights which he so cleverly stole when he did all those terrible deeds to her.
He closed his eyes, his heart thudding rapidly, hoping against hope that she and his family would be able to cope up with the loss.
He wondered for a moment if she would think of him, and grieve for him when she learnt the truth.
'Kushi' he whispered one last time, the name that mattered to him the most.
He'll always love her, eternally, forever.
He smiled inside his head as he watched a merrily laughing Kushi waving at him, her beautiful angelic face a perfect image of happiness.
'Always be happy' he said silently as he braced himself for the gun shot.
The curtains are closing. It was time for the end.
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What happenes next is for you to decide 😉 No continuation on the OS peeps. You can save or you can let the kidnapper pull the trigger. It's up to you. You can make up creative ways to save our Arnie boy and share it with me 😃 I would like to know how you go on about it!
