Posted:
OS:Bonded
She looked up at the stars that were magically shining more brightly today than usual, specially the one with the light pink shade, accompanied with a slight tint of green in it, which she strongly belived was her mother.
Gladly, looking up at it she happily like a 8-year old child waved joyfully at her assumed mother, giving the biggest smile her jaw would physically produce. She picked up a few stars from the green grass on which she was standing, endless amounts of accessories lieing on it, which she had to share with her mother. Excited, she waved the packet of firecrackers at the hazy sky above, which offered rarely any light, apart from the light the stars were giving, and a perfectly shaped crescent of a moon.
"Amma, I brought these for you! You know, last time I had these lit up was after Diwali, after that apparently there was no event of celebration, Jiji's marriage was there, but Buaji threatened to spank me hard if there was even the slightest sign of firecrackers around", she blabbered away mischievously, making horrid faces a the mention of Buaji spanking her.
Ruthlessly, she opened the box of crackers and lighted it up in delght, jumping like a child, seeing the beautiful flickers of light that were being produced, much to her fascination looking more entralling than ever before.
"Amma, please, now dont scold me for this, see I was being verrryyy (delibertaely stretching 'very') careful with them, and here see, (roaming her hands around her body), I am perfectly fine" she cheerfully warned her image of a mother, who she interecepted to be looking way above the heavens, up from the 7th sky at her, in the form of a star looking over her every action.
As the firecracker show, was over she sat on the grass, her gaze fixed on the particular star she was reffering to, and picking up the golden stars that lis next to her, along with a paper, she waved it about in the nothingness of the empty sky.
"You love these stars right? And you turned into one too! Omg! Amma, do you realize the irony in it?", she cheered helplessly trying to hide the grief inside her, through her senseless talk, which with every passing second that she stared into emptiness, was the sorrow coming back to surface until a lonely crystaline tear finally made its way down her red, flushed cheeks.
"Amma, you have no idea how much I miss you, not because you arent here, but because I need you, when there is apparently no one I can looke forward for support, without caring as much about their reaction"
She sobered up a bit, but burst into tears again, as memories of the events earlier at the airport came to her, shaking her body with grief and remorse. "He wont belive me Amma, he wont, why? What did I do? I didnt want to hurt him, I dont even know, why hes punishing me this bad (choking a sorrowful tear), its so lonely you know, even in all his ruthlessness, he is always there to give me a shoulder, but today, (taking a extremely long pause), he's gone Amma, without an explanation"
Her eyes were red with tears, cheeks instantly going inside, due to her absurd facial movements,
"Tell me Amme, truthfully, I really mean truthfully, am I that bad? Why doesnt anybody trust me? Why do they all leave me alone? You left when I needed you, Babuji left me, gradually everyone backed away, and now he left me too, Why Amma Why?", she burst out loud, a River Nile of saline water marking its way down her cheeks and down to her neck, soaking her entire body with its impact.
There were a considerable moments, of silence, when she just stared as the light of the star constantly flickered, until she furiously wiped away her tears, and plastered a small smile on her face, almost instantly opening the small piece of paper in her hand.
"I am a good girl right? Good girls dont cry na Amma? See (pointing at her face and then at the sky) , see I am not crying, i wont cry, I'll get him back Amma, I will", she tried hard to be brave, steading her voice with every word of hope that sprout out from her lips.
Hitting her palm of her forehead, her face immediately grimaced, "Aww Amma, I am so sorry, this is supposed to be your day, its Mother's Day today, I am so sorry for being such a emotional beast right now"
Quickly, any remaining tears from her face were instantly cleared away by the wipe of her georget duppata, which she immediately pushed aside, and straining her eyes a bit to decipher the faded words written in black graphite on the vulnerable paper, she finally smiled having been able to make complete sense of it.
"Lets get to buisness now shall we? Gosh! Amma, I am turning into a mini him (hitting her forhead with her palm), sorry for the distraction alright, remember this poem I wrote for you (swaying the paper idly in the air) when I was in grade one? Like every year, here it is for you"
My Amma is very sweet
Because she is very cute
She cooks sticky sticky jalebi for me
And oils my hair making them icky
I love my Amma
Because she is the best
Although, I would like her to
never bring me to school.:p
"See Amma, I knew from the beggining that you are the best" she cutely made a one sided smile, mentally congradulating herself for her early age intelligence.
"Okay there is no need to scorn right? (talking to to the stars), it doesnt suit you (circling her finger as if in an outline of a face) *pause* I know you dont like biased decisions na, but then you are the best, well ofcourse you say you are not, but how can you really? You are mine, my Amma, how could you not be the bestest then?"
She smiled yet again at her Amma, and stood up from the ground, softly humming her mother's favorite tune 'Saki Oo Saki Re', doing a Dharmendar style dance on it, and then happily clapping her own hands, giving a thumbs up to herself, still gazing with shining yet griefed eyes at her mother up in the heavens and twirled around, like the fairy she was, finally standing straight trying to keep her balance, as a tear escaped her eyes.
"Amma I am going right now, arey nahin not forever! I will be coming back tomorrow, same time with Sanka Devi na! I have to go wish Garima Amma too." she informed the sky above, her eyes holding a brief twinkle in them.
"Oh, and dont mind, if I tell her she is the bestest mother too, you know that, thori sein cheating tou chalti haina?", she let out an undivided almost unheard giggle, and walked away out of the boundaries of the Raizada garden back in to Shantivan, wiping the tears off her face, which were fighting their way down, as a substitute to lessen down the over whelming pain of loss in her heart.
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P.S: Definetly not the best piece I have written, certainyl bizzard, but to be honest I wote this on this instinct and nothing really had been planned. Whatever came to my head I just wrote it down, wheather it actualy made sense in real or not.
To everyone of you all, Happy Mother's Day, these ladies are an asset to us, the best guiders, best supports, best shoulders, and the most important the best of friends. It was a bit depressing I know, but really I coudnt help it, I felt so lost right now, not having my mother by my side, Its such a pain to live away from her, I really have no idea how I seld miss her so much.
Do hit the like button or comment, if it was even a slightest bit of worth the read. Anybody wanting to read more of my work, please have a look at my index.
Love,
Batool😳
Anupamaa
Cricket
