What if Arnav was a Girl?? - Page 7

Originally posted by: Sjm15

@Mary: thanks. When i was writing my reaction here, at first I felt ashamed that I would have chalked up the person as stuck up... StIll, I needed to be honest in order to move beyond that.

Frankly, I would have thought if a male like ASR also as stuck up and moved on... In real life.

I actually knew someone when I was in my teens who was like that, the guy was hot as hell, and I was swooning for a day that he wanted to go out with me, that he asked me out, that he even noticed me... Yada yada yada...

and then reality stuck. 😲

By that I mean my brains kicked in, and I realized that I don't even know if I'd ever be respected by this person, (i didnt know him well, but i saw how he talked with his mother) and I don't even know if I'd ever be safe. Is anything worth that? NO! 😡

So I came to my senses and never went on that first date. And to this date I am so proud of myself!

I guess it's easier for me to swoon when we know they are actors, and I always see how different BS is in real life...

But then again, I digress...

Don't worry Sanchi, I was not blaming you. I was just saying that is what I have been seen as or been called by people for my Arnav-like qualities.

Originally posted by: wesha

In fact, Thank You Mary for putting it down so so well.

@black. This is exactly what I told someone in this post who claimed that we the female population wanted to watch only weak females getting 'wooed' by macho men. I wondered how can THIS population who have been replying to my posts with such clarity and logical thinking have that kind of a fantasy? If rare things are shown in fiction, I would rather like to see this above rare phenomena that you admit to have not seen much in real life rather than this fantasy that 'majority' are supposed to have.

My belief is you can be a 'feminist', you can be just the slum-girl next door who has struggled into a similar disposition and you can be a man with all those ASR-like banes of anger, torment, ruthlessness in you. At the end of the day, one should look at you 'objectively' and not 'subjectively'.

If you are treating one with love, why is it that your treating the other with scepticism??

Maybe, there can be deeper anthropological reasoning behind this - you show such women love and they behave so and so...you show such men love...they behave so and so...

But, as I always say, situation rules. You cannot generalize such conceptions. You cannot be judgemental from the word go.

I am not sure I am following. Am I not being seen objectively? Or am I not seeing objectively? I was only talking about some people. I am not making blanket assumptions that all ASR like women are this or that feminist/independent. Every descriptive word is a label at the end of the day and nothing applies completely to one individual to the next.

Originally posted by: Marybarton

Don't worry Sanchi, I was not blaming you. I was just saying that is what I have been seen as or been called by people for my Arnav-like qualities.

Originally posted by: wesha

Thanks Sanchi ( think that is what your name is if I read correctly on one of SJ's posts😊 )

So, that no one feels ashamed, I have not really spelled out in so many words, what I mean by ASR although I had a pretty good idea myself what I was looking for. You could have just guessed being ASR-isk means being 'hot-headed' and so on. But you didn't, you are right in noticing that being ASR-isk actually means being uptight and bitchy and I am glad that you applied this thought process when you evaluated your option of going out with a 'guy' as well.

This is the kind of objectivity I was telling Mary about. And you have it spot-on. :) So, yes, feel proud.!!

I will quote a real example...
I know a friend who is very strong n indep, so it took quite a time for the girl to loosen up but she did eventually fall in love...when she met someone who still let her be herself, gav her the space and though an extrovert and jovial person himself, was equally strong n indep.
so guess love just happens sometimes...whether its a girl or a guy.
n with changing times i guess we might get to see more of such cases which will be a wonderful thing...
two people in a relationship...two equals...😊

Originally posted by: Marybarton

I am not sure I am following. Am I not being seen objectively? Or am I not seeing objectively? I was only talking about some people. I am not making blanket assumptions that all ASR like women are this or that feminist/independent. Every descriptive word is a label at the end of the day and nothing applies completely to one individual to the next.

Originally posted by: wesha

Hey Mary, I was supporting your views...not opposing them...did I come across as the later?? 😭

What I meant was - it is MORE difficult for the Female Arnav than the Male Arnav in today's world because people think - she is woman, hence such qualities on her are a no no. he is man, its ok if he is arrogant and tormented. ( this is subjectivity ).

On the other hand, NOT making blanket assumption like you said is objectivity.

I just elongated your point and another of mine. Hope I am coming across correctly now.

No worries. It's probably just me. I have not been thinking straight for a few days due to over-thinking lol. That's why I wrote you that book, hope I came across somewhat clear. I have just been thinking a lot about being a conservative liberal career woman in this day and age. Those were a lot of labels, but I hope I am coming across right.

Originally posted by: Sjm15

Yeah, my name is Sachi, you got that right! Thank you. feel free to call me by my name always... 😃

And thanks for the post... I guessed your intent was to have people think and analyze! Which judging by the # of responses is actually happening. It's another way of not romanticizing fiction also! 👏

Thank you for a very stimulating and well written post!

Is Wesha your name? I have seen someone refer to you as TM in one of your posts..?

Originally posted by: shilli

I will quote a real example...
I know a friend who is very strong n indep, so it took quite a time for the girl to loosen up but she did eventually fall in love...when she met someone who still let her be herself, gav her the space and though an extrovert and jovial person himself, was equally strong n indep.
so guess love just happens sometimes...whether its a girl or a guy.
n with changing times i guess we might get to see more of such cases which will be a wonderful thing...
two people in a relationship...two equals...😊

Originally posted by: Marybarton

No worries. It's probably just me. I have not been thinking straight for a few days due to over-thinking lol. That's why I wrote you that book, hope I came across somewhat clear. I have just been thinking a lot about being a conservative liberal career woman in this day and age. Those were a lot of labels, but I hope I am coming across right.