ASR & La not really a live-in couple - Page 2

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bewafa thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#11
hahahaha

I am actually enjoying this discussion.

Just to add...I'm pretty sure Lav and Arnav have been physically intimate...however, to what extent, we do not know and shall never know.

Anyway, that doesn't really matter.

What matters is the whirlwind of emotions he feels when he sees Khushi...or even, when he feels her presence LoL
asmuasmi thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#12

Originally posted by: KaushalyaFan



I totally agree. Basically he may have played everyone including his Di and La just to stay away from committing to La. Just keep her in the house and not have to marry her. Never treated her like a girlfriend. No promises. No relationship.

exactly,..no promises no relationship!

Writer42 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#13

Originally posted by: MrDarcyfan

I think they used to do some stuff together before she moved in there!

We never actually saw this on the show. At least I never saw them do anything as a couple on the show.

Hr got her to move in to defy Nani, coz she told him to break up with La as she is not Raizada bahu materail! He NEVER wanted to marry her at all, and was happy with their relationship lof conveniance, where she was the arm candy and he could be with her when he wanted and not with her when he didnt!

You are right it was a relationship of convenience. Thus, not a real relationship at all. That would explain why he never really saw La as a girlfriend in the true sense of the word.

There were no emmotinal demands etc... however all this changed once she came to his house and KKG entered the pictutre to train her in Indian culter etc...suddenly LA wanted more from the relationship and ASR was left dazed by this change and he was mad as hell, coz his conveniant little "set up" was being threatned!

He did make emotional demands of her in that he expected her to "obey" whenever he shouted at her. He was cold in his demeanor in that respect. Almost heartless towards La. Yes, it was a "set up" relationship for him. Though I don't think La ever thought of it as a set up or a relationship of convenience, which is why she pushed the marriage card so desperately.
As for him never smiling at her, that is not true...he did look indulgent when she came to the Teej wearing a sari and even gave her a half simile (Barun's expressions were FAB there and he looked super hot):)
...

If you're the boyfriend half smiles don't cut it IMO. Totally undemonstrative towards La. As a viewer not only did he look like he didn't love or even care for her. It was almost as if she didn't matter to him. So the idea of getting her into his house effectively killed the relationship considering it wasn't much of a relationship to begin with.

getting back to the topic... he did stand by her even when she made a spectacle of herslef at the anniversary party with the "Charachter Dheela" number and later getti g drunk? If he was so heartless he would have kicked her out then and there! He was actually quite indulgent towards LA for a long time, and sometimes even nice to her! He cares for her, but NOT as he would if he was actually in love with her! Which he NEVER was!

He didn't kick La out because he knew the moment he would have done so it would have made both his sister and Nani happy. It's what they wanted. Keeping La there in spite of her little "gabbar" speech served only one purpose - to keep him away from the subject of marriage. In the end he was wrong about that as well because once La decided to be open to the idea of marriage all his vain attempts to avoid marriage failed.
I am sure he was hurt by her leaving... coz he WAS hurt when she said "dont you care for me"??? Coz he does, and that's why he said "yes I dont care, that why I bought you here aganist everyone's wishes"... I think that was HIS way of saying, that is as much caring as I know how to show, and if THAT isn't enough for you...

ASR didn't look hurt at La's leaving almost relieved because he was totally leading her on. He let her think that he cared for her when in fact as you say it was a relationship of convenience. Convenience to him but later it became a burden to him. Hence all that shouting about marriage both at La and Khushi. He didn't bring La to his home because he cared. He brought her there to get out marriage due to pressure at home from Di, Nani and even Mami.
Anyway, ASR is complex...he FEELS things for Kushi he has never felt for any other women, so he does not know how to deal with it, or with her! But in his other relationships with women, he does not show ANY romance, but that does not mean, he is unfeeling! He is just NOT demonstrative! However, when it comes to Kushi, he cant seem to stop mself from touching her, and he never touches La that way!

Yes, I agree it is a complex character and the CVs need to do a better job of showing and explaining this to the viewers. They need to show us what make him tick as a character and why does he think the way he does. But they are not doing it. Right now ASR comes off as a one dimensional character to me at best. They need to show that complexity in a better way. Granted he is closed off from women and doesn't care to be romantic, but showing human decency or kindness that would be easy for him to do. But yet we never saw any kindness shown towards this woman he supposedly cared for.
THIS shows that his feelings for Kushi are NOT in his control... and if ASR hates ANYTHING... it is not being in control!

With La he was in full control of his feelings and never gave in to any of her views. It was either his way or the highway. La finally figured it out and left him. He never went back to get La because he knew that now she knew that he never really cared for her. ASR only cares for himself. And La saw it when she dressed up as bride.



Thanks for your comments:)
Writer42 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#14

Originally posted by: moon_mine

yup!!!! since this is a family show as well...so they cud nt get that bold to show the live-in concept clearly!!!!!



I get that. But they could have shown that he did care for her even a little. But we never saw that. No closeness was established between these two. The CVs never really showed him as being emotionally attached to La in any way. If they were trying to show her as his girlfriend then they should have made a better attempt at establishing the personal side of this relationship. Which they didn't. Every time they spoke or rather he spoke to her it was only to shout at her or berate her. Thx for your comments:)
Writer42 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#15

Originally posted by: bewafa

hahahaha


I am actually enjoying this discussion.

Just to add...I'm pretty sure Lav and Arnav have been physically intimate...however, to what extent, we do not know and shall never know.

Anyway, that doesn't really matter.

What matters is the whirlwind of emotions he feels when he sees Khushi...or even, when he feels her presence LoL



Yes, I too am enjoying all the interesting comments. Initially it seemed that way but it was never really spelled out that these two were intimate with each other. Anyway I've always noted that La was very emotionally attached to him whereas he didn't seem like that at all. Even before he became attracted to Khushi he seemed distant and aloof towards his girlfriend. It's like she was always his employee and never really his girlfriend.
Writer42 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#16

Originally posted by: shaz01

@ MrDarcyfan

i agree...he was veryy indulgent with her...ASR does not tolerate anything less than perfect BUT he still let La get away with quite alot...considering she is someone he 'does not give 2hoots for'

Exactly if he didn't care for her then why let her think that he cared/loved her. Why mislead her? I don't think he let La get away with anything considering towards the end of the relationship she too was intimidated and scared of her boyfriend.
even when she came in the wedding outfit, after shouting at her (not unusual), instead of kicking
her out, he calmy tells her to go change her clothes.

Yes but he got tongue tied when he couldn't explain to La why he was so against marriage in general or rather marriage to her. He didn't have an answer. He says to everyone that he doesn't believe in it but never explains why he feels that way. And if anyone needed an explanation it was La, his girlfriend.
When she does not heed him, he sighs and tells her to go change AGAIN...when have we ever seen ASR repeat himself...usko to baatein repeat karne ki adat nahi hai na??

He repeats himself with Khushi, his Di who is always pushing him to marry, and his Nani. The women in that house just don't see his POV on marriage or living together. So he does tend to repeat himself on this subject quite often.
When La said she has had enuf, it was not because he had changed but because what she wanted out of the relationship had changed and she knew that ASR wont adapt to those changes...he had said as much b4 getting into a r/ship with her-----HONESTY...another thing he gave this unconventional r/ship.
i think he WAS HURT when she left...he didnt kick her out...she walked out by choice...jab asr ki galti nahi hoti toh phir usko sorry bolne ki yah La ko rokne ki kya zarurat hai...i completely understand this...from his pov, he is correct on this stance.

He almost looked relieved when La left. Which is why he made no attempt at stopping her because he never really cared for her and wanted her gone. I admired La's decision to leave ASR because she finally realized that he didn't love her at all. La actually had to tell him to stop shouting at her.
in the office when KKG confronts him, he blurts out that by leaving La is proving him correct yet again that 2ppl cannot live together for ever, ppl change with time and move on...if he wasn't hurting he would never say this. La may not have been his confident, or his "proper"gf, yet she was someone he cared about...much like KKG.

Actually if he was hurt by La's leaving he would have made some attempt in trying to get her back. Also in order for him to be hurt as you say in La's decision to dump ASR he would have to actually care for her or even have some feelings of love towards her. But he didn't care for her or love her.
~~~~Edit add~~~~
AAhh...i almost forgot...another thing ASR has given is his LOYALTY...now i knw this is a bit of a controversial issue for some ppl (Shyam v ASR)...BUT not me...

ASR showed no loyalty to La considering he spent most of time thinking about Khushi while he had a girlfriend. No girlfriend would want ASR for a boyfriend considering he is so verbally abusive. All that shouting.
ASR has not INTENTIONALLY cheated on La in his knwledge...he has never jaan buj kar KKG pe dore nahi daale...unlike Shyam whio knows he's married yet he INTENTIONALLY goes arond behind Anji's back and says...sorry rani saheba...aap ko main nahi chod sakta par khushi ko bhi nahi chod sakta

ASR is not altogether honest with himself or La when he's in a relationship with one woman and spends all his time thinking about this other woman. He's not exactly a picture of honestly or loyalty when it comes to his relationship with La.
ASR has given honesty, loyalty and obv he gives her all the comforts and whatever not as his gf...Ab bande ko emotionally attached nahi hona and he has already told her at the outset, then he cant be blamed for it



Honesty and loyalty would be present when he would have told La about his feelings for another woman or at least told La that he didn't love her anymore. Which he didn't even when she point blank asked him the question. He said he would never marry but he never said that he wouldn't be emotionally attached to La. You can be emotionally attached to someone without marrying them yet we have seen this inability in ASR to feel any emotion when it comes to his own girlfriend. No wonder she left.

PS: Thanks for your input I enjoyed reading it.
Edited by KaushalyaFan - 14 years ago
Writer42 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#17

Originally posted by: incandescent

I they were physically intimate but it was never properly shown since it's an SP show. I agree that ASR never initiated but he never objected when La became (or tried to) intimate with him. It indicated that he shares a physical comfort with her.

Remember after the photoshoot incident, La offered to remove his tie (quite seductively) and he gazed into her eyes without even blinking!! A lot more could have happened if Khushi hadn't interrupted.

If he never had any feelings or attraction towards her he would never let her be a part of his life. He would never allow her to waste his precious ten minutes.



Yes, they may have been intimate before she moved in. But emotionally he was totally cut off from her as his girlfriend. When she was fixing his tie during that scene he didn't even smile which shows a very cold and rigid personality which is what the CVs were trying to show. He let her be part of his life because as the CVs tried to show successfully I might add, that he only brought her in so as to avoid the whole concept of marriage which the women in the house were and are still pushing for.

He brought La in to shut them up but that didn't work out so well for ASR because his girlfriend started to think the same way. The way the episodes were written out La didn't even get to spend 5 minutes with her boyfriend and he seemed to prefer it that way she spent more time with the women of the house than with ASR. And what time she did spend with him, he used it to shout and berate her. Thx for your input :)

Writer42 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: shaz01

^^ call me old fashioned...but i hope and pray that they weren't physically intimate...i want KKG to be the first girl ASR thinks of in THAT way!!

hahaha...i knw i knw...who does that these days...but i really hope him and La havent done IT!! LOL



I think the way La sneaked into ASR's room and his lack of surprise at her doing so, I think the CVs were trying to show that these 2 have been intimate. May be that's why Nani went out of her way to keep them apart in separate rooms.

Also in that scene where La was explaining to Khushi what a live in relationship entailed the CVs were trying to show that she had been intimate with ASR. Hence, Khushi and Angali's shocked faces.

Writer42 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#19

Originally posted by: Kamalika..

i m sure arnav is virgin. he is only for khushi. u r not old fashoined. u r very decent. shadi se pehle sab kuch ho jana ye humari sanskar aur sabbhata ka khilaf hai



Yeah, but now a days guys who have girlfriends are often intimate with them. Nowadays, it's a fairly common occurrence. May be Indian girls like Khushi might be virgins but guys like ASR never are. Which is what the CVs were trying to show when they put La in the picture. No wonder he and Angali went to great lengths to hide his relationship with La because it was intimate at least the CVs implied it.
Edited by KaushalyaFan - 14 years ago
incandescent thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#20

Originally posted by: KaushalyaFan



Yes, they may have been intimate before she moved in. But emotionally he was totally cut off from her as his girlfriend. When she was fixing his tie during that scene he didn't even smile which shows a very cold and rigid personality which is what the CVs were trying to show. He let her be part of his life because as the CVs tried to show successfully I might add, that he only brought her in so as to avoid the whole concept of marriage which the women in the house were and are still pushing for.

He brought La in to shut them up but that didn't work out so well for ASR because his girlfriend started to think the same way. The way the episodes were written out La didn't even get to spend 5 minutes with her boyfriend and he seemed to prefer it that way she spent more time with the women of the house than with ASR. And what time she did spend with him, he used it to shout and berate her. Thx for your input :)

i agree he was emotionally cut off. This may sound controversial but you need not be emotionally intimate with someone in order to be physically intimate. She was just an arm candy for him. someone who would accompany him at parties or events, someone he could show off. this way he could easily evade questions of marriage or even speculations of being gay.

But people have some sort of attachments even with their 'possesions' and here this is his girlfriend we talking about!

Edited by incandescent - 14 years ago

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