lachii thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1

my first attempt at writing any kind of fiction, so plz bear with me...its heartfelt as i put here...




It was the same day, the same me, the same earth, the same sky, but i felt like a bird, a bird who could fly high up in the sky, who could soar up and down with the wind, it was my first flight, my first step out of the cage

for once in my life, i was free...not bound by any chains of society, or obligation, of rites or rituals.

it was the day my daughter set me free, free from the shackles of a miserable life. she is my savior because for her i saved myself.

in my womb she asked, the centuries old question, the same unanswered question, the same hushed question, the same question that must never be asked, the same question, what is my crime?

there was a day, i had decided to end it all. that day, she cried, her question echoed in my body, it rung through me like the bells of temple, it was the day, i replied, the same forbidden question...

i caressed my womb, i lulled her to sleep, i told her, dear child, you have set me free.
from that day onward, i lived inside me.

some bit me, some crushed me, some hit me, some burnt me, but they did not know, they could not reach me. for the cage was deserted, the bird had flown, it was out of their reach now.

for they had only my body, they could only torture thence, its the mind that is strong, to which they had lost access...

my daughter, my unborn child, she guided my very soul, she was my goal, as i made my way unsuspecting, finding my allies, sorting my options, i knew i could not lose...

with head held high, i took hold of my destiny, the day i declared, ENOUGH, no more torture i bear henceforth...

it was a woman who held me down, and it were women, who held me up. i had stretched my hand asking for help, and i did not realize when i got a chain of helping hands, securing hands, uplifting hands, young hands, old hands, loving hands, caring hands, wise hands.

the chain of "feeble" feminine hands brought terror in the hearts of devils, devils who wanted to snatch and crush the soul in my body.

i heard a voice in me again, waking from her innocent sleep,

" this is the way to do it, this is the way it can only be"

i hope i did not bore you with this OS...i hope our jyothi undertakes this journey along with ashlok and wish the cvs depict this journey with sensibility and realistically, as they hav been doing up till now...



Edited by lachii - 11 years ago


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dsr11 thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#2
That's so beautiful lachii, very poetic. Loved it.
lachii thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: gauriangel

Loved it...

specially title...


thanks gauri... title from my fav song from film "taaray zameen per"😊
adventure_gurl thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 11 years ago
#4
oh wow nice job, hope Jyothi is able to make her unborn daughter her strength and she is able to run away
rbb1 thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Elite Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 11 years ago
#5
This is really good I hope this happens to Joyti in the show
Pveenat thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6
Beautiful OS! Very beautifully written,
JJ15 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#7
Lachi, that was so touching! I hope our Jyoti can fight through it all and come out victorious. For herself and the life within her.
jia.astk thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#8
Sonia ..very beautifully written OS. It numbs my heart ..hope Jyothi's baby girl gets saved 😭
Edited by jia.astk - 11 years ago
Sg2013 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#9
Sonia, you have written a very beautiful OS and you have actually answered all the questions to Jyoti and her Baby's survival in this OS.
A woman is different once she is a mother and she will fight every obstacle in the world to save her baby and in the process will have freed herself .
Prani08 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 7
Posted: 11 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: lachii

my first attempt at writing any kind of fiction, so plz bear with me...its heartfelt as i put here...

It was the same day, the same me, the same earth, the same sky, but i felt like a bird, a bird who could fly high up in the sky, who could soar up and down with the wind, it was my first flight, my first step out of the cage

for once in my life, i was free...not bound by any chains of society, or obligation, of rites or rituals.

it was the day my daughter set me free, free from the shackles of a miserable life. she is my savior because for her i saved myself.

in my womb she asked, the centuries old question, the same unanswered question, the same hushed question, the same question that must never be asked, the same question, what is my crime?

there was a day, i had decided to end it all. that day, she cried, her question echoed in my body, it rung through me like the bells of temple, it was the day, i replied, the same forbidden question...

i caressed my womb, i lulled her to sleep, i told her, dear child, you have set me free.
from that day onward, i lived inside me.

some bit me, some crushed me, some hit me, some burnt me, but they did not know, they could not reach me. for the cage was deserted, the bird had flown, it was out of their reach now.

for they had only my body, they could only torture thence, its the mind that is strong, to which they had lost access...

my daughter, my unborn child, she guided my very soul, she was my goal, as i made my way unsuspecting, finding my allies, sorting my options, i knew i could not lose...

with head held high, i took hold of my destiny, the day i declared, ENOUGH, no more torture i bear henceforth...

it was a woman who held me down, and it were women, who held me up. i had stretched my hand asking for help, and i did not realize when i got a chain of helping hands, securing hands, uplifting hands, young hands, old hands, loving hands, caring hands, wise hands.

the chain of "feeble" feminine hands brought terror in the hearts of devils, devils who wanted to snatch and crush the soul in my body.

i heard a voice in me again, waking from her innocent sleep,

" this is the way to do it, this is the way it can only be"

i hope i did not bore you with this OS...i hope our jyothi undertakes this journey along with ashlok and wish the cvs depict this journey with sensibility and realistically, as they hav been doing up till now...




My my dear..what an apt feeling from baby to mom and mom feeling it.👏⭐️

it was the day my daughter set me free, free from the shackles of a miserable life. she is my savior because for her i saved myself.

Oh mother you have been my savior clearing all obstacles and conflicts.
Oh mother you will be there to give me hand and give me courage as you said women let you down women let you out and up.
Oh women you turned down your predestination of torque of your situation in wise and held me up in rise and shine.
Oh women said I'm not a omen said I'm a women ,,why and I can't be your daughter, unborn child, guide of your very soul, as my goal, as i made my way unsuspecting, finding my allies, sorting my option to be woman and daughter later a mom too.



What a feel Sonia.my mother heart heard mother love of for daughter ...
The feel of your first fiction alias non fiction based related so poetry of reality touched my heart girl..

Love you and your thought..which is real..

Jyothi will seek true feel for her daughter.
Mom when it comes to their kids be it unborn born mortified herself into new form. Jyothi will also see to herself and her kid as it is not only her its hers growing in her, a baby..a nature given gift as nature is born and first life. No one can stop nature. Unknowingly women seek courage when it comes to their kids. Need not be to be given birth the feel also gets courage. AASTHA has the natural feel she will see to it. Jyothi needs courage to fight for herself for her life going forward lots of fights as women has to deal, so it's good to start from now. A little support from dear one is all mom needs to have courage to move forward independent in strong nature to nurture her child.
Oh mom bow to,you..

Some who are emotional and attached need not be mom too..it goes in flow as knowing the feel.


A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.

Bow to you mom ..


Asked you earlier to write..write your imaginations more dear..touching reality..
Edited by Prasai - 11 years ago

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