She woke up feeling heavy... She could not move at all... Slowly opened her eyes to find something itchy on her cheek.. His right hand hugging her, he was lying on the side face on face while one of his leg was on top of her. He was all over the bed. As tiny as she is, it's not like she needed a "lot of space" but, does not mean she can lie on thin air. Turned her face to see him sleeping peacefully. This guy had changed her so much past few months. She knew deep in her heart that the changes were not alone him, it was her. She fell in love. She tried to do everything she can to make him happy with a little ray of hope for his love. She unknowingly was desperate that she turned blind to all his tantrums; emotional outbursts; threats; yelling;insults... The list goes on and on... Until she saw him at a close proximity of adithi.
Her mind kept going back to the day Shloak saved her after the poison thorn. "I would have done it to anyone in that situation" even though she was hoping something different all these months . Suddenly it stuck her like a thundering bolt. He meant it that day. I'm not that special someone. I can never be that special one ever in his life. She was cheating herself..lying to herself. "That, Astha! is just pathetic" she thought.. If she is not the one for him, sticking around him is the worse decision she could ever make. He needs to be free so he will find that special someone one day... That his life will be complete. For that she needs to accept that there is a probability adithi could be that one.
She liked adithi, she meant it when she called her sister. Adithi had an influence around Shloak. He was never courteous around Aastha as he was with Adithi. It was painful, but she finally accepted it yesterday. She told her heart to detach herself so it won't break more when she asked him to share his past with his old friend. She did not like herself at that moment . That's not her...
Unknowingly while all these thoughts were going through her head she was cuddled like a teddy by Mr.'shout' Agnihotri. Yea.. He shouts a lot.. Right on her face. She smiled and felt a little movement of his face. Reality stuck her. Pushed him away. He was startled and up... He realized where he was. She gave that burning laser look "dint I say no touching?" Shloak was caught.."oye, I'm not dying to touch you. I did not even realize.. And we are both in the middle of the bed, so it could not have been just my fault" she was frustrated, her heart never listens she thought but said "this is why I wanted to Iie separate" he was like "we just have to figure out a way, this is a big bed" she did not answer but went to take a bath. Shloak realized he slept really well after so long and missed his jog. He cannot remember the time he slept like this before.
He lied back, pulled his palms under his head staring at the ceiling... Thinking... She seems not so affected by my hug. Normally she will be lost closing her eyes. Will have that tear-y look. Nothing now. Strange...the way she pulled herself out of him felt like she fell out of love for him. No, she is not allowed to do that. Maybe he kept pushing her away all these months that she did leave him out of her life. He was thinking how she dismissed him from sharing his past . The past she was trying to find out for so long.. Waiting patiently for him to open up with her ... Seems to have no effect on her anymore.
Suddenly heard her out of the bathroom ... Her hair wet, skin shiny.. He just could not take his eyes off. Whoever discovered these sarees were not believing on covering their body. It's killing me. She was doing her thing watched her until almost done.. She dint even notice him. Looked like she had a lot going on in her mind. He couldn't take it ... She needs to think about me...got up and walked to her. Astha was walking away from mirror. He held her wrist turned her around. Picked up sindoor and put it on her maang.
"Remember, you are still my wife. Just bcos I was trying to give you that space does not mean you are not mine" she gave a confused look and said "yea.. For 20 more days" he was angry.. "You think I will let you leave" while she re-fired "watch me" and stormed out while her hands were shaking even after she reached the kitchen.
She drank water and was panting. Her heart was beating so fast that she thought there was going to be an earthquake. She turned around to see a mirror on the wall. She saw her reflection. She had lost sleep for so many days that her face looked tierd. Her eyes were red and tears ready to flow. She thought " oh my god! Is this really me!? I mean why I'm I crying. I was never a cry person. I mean once in a while happens , human! Every single day.. That's not right... I was always an action person, go get it person, just like my mom. I thought I was inspired by -how my mom came out of an abusive relationship and how she found her way to have a happy life she deserved- ... for life. But no, i was lost for a while there. Not anymore. Love has that power to make a person turn into anything. Now this love is going to help me bring positive. I'm a good person. I can handle a rejection. What is wrong with me? He don't like me fine... Well, honestly, I don't even like myself right now. When did I turn into this desperate crying helpless women? I'm not this. Well, What's gone is gone.. What now astha." She wiped her face with water and told herself " you are in this mess which you pulled it on yourself. You need to come out of this atleast for the people you love... Your family, your friends, your Shloak" .. She felt strong.
Without a clue of what hit Astha, Shloak was getting ready to catch hold of his wife and finish the conversation. Everyone was in the bfast table. Astha too was around. Adithi was in full mood to entertain everyone. Astha was looking relived and calm. She was trying to get kavya drink milk. Kavya looked happy and giggling . Sojal helping varad with bfast .. Anjali helping niranjan. Shloak kept looking at astha if she will come as he sat in his chair. She did not. Was he getting mad or was he getting mad. Adithi was more than happy to poke her nose in the situation. She was going to keep food on his plate. He stopped her and yelled "Astha"... Astha shouted back.. "Yea.. Adithi is there, I'm helping kavya" he shouted "astha" again. Adithi understood her place and backed off. Anjali jumped at the situation and of course Astha was standing next to Shloak confused "why is he so particular!?". He kept peeping at her. Trying to find her mood. Confusing as usual. If it was before he would have shrugged his shoulder and let it go. Not anymore. He said "there is an important meeting, u need to come today" she dint answer. Niranjan said"beta, you must go" she nodded. It was getting on his nerves. Shloak thought, " she is trying to ignore me, she can't answer me or what. let me see for how long"
He was walking like a mad man in the living room waiting for astha to finish her chores and bfast. Finally Anjali let her go. He came to her and grabbed her hand. "I said no touching why don't you listen!?" she said. "Well, I said stay! why don't you listen!?" and he kept walking dragging her with his little evil smirk. Very annoying for her at that point.
Opened the navigator side door for her. She got in. He pulled all her saree inside and shut the door. She had this feeling that Shloak is feeling restless.. Is it her? Nah, she thought he never bothers about her that much that she will affect him in any way.
He could not take her silence. He was afraid she don't care about him anymore. She was preoccupied with something in her mind.. She did not notice where he was going. They reached the peak of the mountain where Shloak almost jumped to stop astha doubting him... Where he gave her the first kiss.
Aastha was thinking about her life. She was lost in her love story, she don't have a clue how to get him out of his misery. His Swati nightmares, now she might not be the right person to do anything. " I will go back to my parents. Maybe ask dad to get a transfer and move to another city, I will have to find a job too. Convince my mom that I won't marry anymore. I need to be allowed to make mistakes. I need to understand life in my own terms. I do not regret falling in love with Shloak. I do not regret marrying him. Because at one point that is exactly what I wanted. After all loving someone is not a sin. I will pray for Shloak to find his love soon and get all his happiness" suddenly there was a jerk.
He was worried... 'What is she immersed into. She is not even looking at me..'
"Astha..."
"Astha..."
"Astha..."
He held her shoulder and shook her "Astha..."
Astha came out of her thought and looked at him..looked around. " what?? Shloak why are we here.. What are you doing?" She got out.
Shloak got out and jumped in front of her "we need to talk"
"About what" asked astha.
"Us" he said.
"What is left" astha
Shloak " rest of our life"
Astha dint want to get hurt anymore. "Shloak, if it's about me staying... It's not going to happen"
"Why not?"Shloak questioned
"Bcause being next to you drains me. I feel suffocated every time I know my existence in your life is bcos you hate me... You wanted revenge... Your dad's honor... I swear I don't need anything from you. Just let me go free from this relationship... We can even fake my death.. Your dad's honor won't be harmed. I will leave somewhere ..no one will know. I will never cross my way with you for the rest of my life. I know I'm not a liar like you think. Whatever you did so far had broken me for the rest of my life. I don't think there is any more revenge you could take on me. You will have the peace of not me on your face... Whatever you think I did or I said..I'm sorr..." Suddenly there was his lips on hers. Just a soft little kiss. She froze. "Wha..how.. I .. Mean... Why?, this is not right"
" why are you saying sorry. I need to say sorry for ruining everything. It is you... It had been you for a while. I know I took my time of getting over Swati nightmares... But now you are constantly in my thought. The first time I met you I fell in love. Yes, I know you won't believe me now, I understand.. But I was in denial. My first love was nothing but a betrayal.. Maybe that's why I could get myself to betray you into marriage. I lost hope in love until I finally figured out .. Last few days I don't see Swati anywhere.. I see you. I was worried about Swati past ruining what we got. You are the love of my life. I think I went through all that so that I will know how precious you are. All these time I tried my best to not show my love, but you always could read it from my eyes. Even when I dint realize it... I thought I had no love for you until you disappeared. Until I felt you fell out of love for me. My life depends on you. I will do anything to win you back. If you still want to leave I will drop you off at your dads .. I'm ready to wait the rest of my life for you. I'm not going to play any hook or crook games. But I promise you one thing. You can never get rid of me. I will always be trying. And if in back of your mind you are considering Karan... I swear to god... I will.. I will ... "
Suddenly astha just crashed on him for a hug.. He could not believe it. With tears he said, "Do you still believe me?" Astha said, "I'm sacred what if you break my heart again?All my logical senses gives me danger alert. But you know when did I listen to logic..I always listen to my heart" he knew why he fell in love with this strong headed women now. She is the only one who has the guts to put up with him. He pulled her into a kiss with his full strength..like his life is depending on it. They finally pulled out gasping for breath.
He smilingly said.. "Your family..my family... I don't care. I can win everyone with you by my side, I love you" astha said "me too." Pack your bags we are moving to your dads until... I set things right with them"
Astha was happy. At last she figured it out. All he wants is she to be happy . Astha is his special someone
:)
P.S : hope you like it guys. Let me know your honest opinion. Take care.
