Late to the party once again, but...here I am.
I am going to jump start into it, because i think I have a lot to address here and I might lose track...sorry, not sorry...maybe a little sorry.š
Right off the bat, I LOVED LOVED LOVED the whole scene of Advay and Chandini with the little children selling diyas! IT WAS MAGICAL! I could imagine the whole scene playing in front of my eyes!
I see you excercising more with descriptive writing and Girl you are SLAYING IT!šš
Why I loved that scene has mainly got to do with Advay.
Ever since you mentioned that this is a 'Dark' FF, I have ingrained myself to believe that Advay is dark, he isn't the typical white horse wala hero.
And as many people, myself included, believe that if a person is Dark, they cannot be kind. If one is dark, they cannot be compassionate. Which is wrong!!! So, THANK YOU for proving us, me wrong. You portrayed an Advay, who is human. He has dimensions. He has his shadows, that we all knew. But, THANK YOU FOR SHOWING US HIS LIGHT!!!
And while we are on that note, I now, thanks to you, know how Dark is different from Kink. When you initially informed us that in 'Entrapment', Advay is dark, I immediately thought of him as Kinky Which though not necessarily is bad, but it leaves a character bland. By thus far, showing Advay as dark and not kinky, gave him depth, it made him relatable to us to varying extent.
And that is why I connect with the Advay here more than the Advay in 'Predator turns Prey' while I connect more with Chandini there. (I Love both your characters, in both your FFs equally!)
This chapter incentivized me to read up on the relation of Kinks with Trauma from which I understood that Kink may sort of be a coping mechanism for trauma.
Applying that here, you perfectly showed that his Kink may be a coping mechanism for trauma but his darkness is the result of it.
I am sorry I don't know how to express it better. But know that you are doing such a marvelous job! It's giving us so many opportunities to connect with the characters and explore their depths!š
HATS OFF TO YOU,seriously!
Now coming to the dynamics of their relation, IT IS BEAUTIFUL!
Because, I love the way you are showing Chandini to be scared and repulsed (for lack of better word) by his actions and behavior and yet intrigued and drawn by it!
It was perfectly shown in the part where she is trying to distance herself from PP on the couch and finds herself feeling safer by Advay's arms! The little things you write really! makes my heart explode!ā¤ļø
A fantastic chapter! KUDOS!
Love,
Mehvish
PS: PIYAAJI wala line! HAAAYEE!ā¤ļø