passant de cass ---Rising From Broken.
Om is heartbroken after seeing gauri's name next to arjun's in the register of that cheap lodge...
Unable to hold back his disappointment he starts to walk out and reach back home...Locking himself in his room he slumps down on the floor and cries fisting his hair in his hands; cries thinking about gauri's supposed betrayal...Breaking all the things around in resentment he shouts; why gauri?? why did you do this???
Evening falls down; and he could hear clamor. Thinking the cause to be gauri; he hurries his way down and sees her happily meeting all his family whom she considers as hers...
Taking long strides he reaches near her. Much to the shock of the family members; he holding onto her wrists drags her to the room with an incitement of getting the things clear once and for all...
Kahe aise pakad ke lija rahe hain hum; chodiye hume gauri shouts
Instead of replying to her his hold around her wrists tightens making her hiss in pain..
Once in the room he twirls and throws her on the bed; locking the door...
Eh ka batmeezi hai omkaraji? Gauri asks frustrated ( what non sense)
BatmeezI?? He asks going near her and clutching her face.. ( non sense)
Gathering some strength in her she with all her might pushes him back; not prepared for such a move he looses his balance and is shocked for a second seeing his tiny wife possess so much strength...
Eh...eh jo aapne sab gharwalon ke saamne kiya wo ka tha?? Gauri asks him ( what did you do infront of all the family members)
Kahan thi tum itne dino se?? om asks her gritting her teeth.. ( where were you since so many days)
Kya aisa kaam tha ki apn bade bhaiyya aur bhaujai ki shaadi main bhi nhn aa saki; om adds... ( what was more important than the wedding of bade bhaiya and bhaujai to you)
Ooo..hum; humne bhaujai se btaaya tha ki humari maa ki tabiyat kharab hai toh hum baryeli jaa rahe hain gauri replies looking into his eye... ( I had told bhaujai that my mother is sick so I had to go to baryeli)
Jhooth!! Omkara shouts turning red in fury..(lie)
Jhooth mat bolo gauri! Jab wo ghatiya kaam karte waqt sharam nhn aayi tumhe toh ab btaane waqt kyun sharam aa rahi hai om asks her.(Don't lie! Why are you ashamed of owning up when you weren't while doing it)
Hum koi jhooth nhn keh rahe hain?? Aur kaisa kaam? Konsa ghatiya kaam? She asks confused. ( I'm telling you the truth. And what work? Which kind of fallen work)
Itna bholi banne ki koi zaroorat nhn hai gauri. Main tumhare asli rang se waaqif hoon. Om tells her disgusted... ( Don't act innocent! I'm aware of your true character)
Kehna kya chahte hain aap; saaf saaf kahiye..gauri asks him getting irritated with the accusations. ( Say whatever you want! Speak clearly)
Saaf saaf sunna hai tumhe..Toh suno? Tum anika bhabhi se jhooth keh ke apne aashiq ke saath gulchare udha rahi thi ek ghatiya lodge main so rahi thi tum apne aashiq ke saath... Kya itna eemaan bech diya tumne ki shaadi shuda hote hue bhi yun paraaye mard ke saath... Om tells her in disgust ( you want to hear clearly! Then listen.. you had lied to anika bhabhi about going to baryeli while you were in real busy with your lover getting cozy in a downrated lodge. Did you sell off all your character; all you shame that you were enjoying with an unknown man despite being married to me)
THUD...a slap right across his face..
In fury he grabs her from her shoulders; digging his nails into her skin he cages her in between the wall and his arms...
Ek toh ghatiya aur girre hue kaam karti ho upar se koi aayana dikhaaye toh usse he thapad...wah gauri kumara sharma wah! Om says... ( first you do such cheap things and then you have the damn audacity to slap me when I am showing you the mirroe...Wow gauri kumara sharma; wow)
Humne aisa koi kaam nhn kiya hai.. gauri says with a finality in her tone ( I haven't done any such thing)
Agar nhn kiya toh kyun tha uss ghatiya lodge ke register pe tumhara naam arjun shastri ke saath?? KYun gauri... Om shouts unable to take her lies.. ( if not; then why the hell was your name present in that register next to arjun shastri...why gauri)
Kya naam kaha aapne?? Arjun shastri...HUH! Jab poori baat na pta ho na toh ilzaam nhn lgaate...gauri tells him broken ( What name did you say? Why do you have to accuse without being aware of the whole thing)
Wahaan tumhara uss aadami ke saath hona; tumahre phone pe tumahre liye kisi ke phone aane ; tumhara subeh subeh gayab hona aur shaam tak bahar rehna bina kisi ko btaaye---kya samjhun main inn sab se haan?? He asks her shaking her shoulders.. ( You name was there in that register of theat cheap lodge; You get phone calls and they hand up when I pick up; You go missing for days without informing me. What should I understand??)
Tugging away from his hold; she says--- Kuch samjhane ki jagah kaash aapne pooch liya hota; toh hum aapko bta dete ki arjun shastri kon hai. Kiska phone aata hai humare phone pe; hum kahan gayab rehte hain. ( I wish you would have asked me instead of assuming things like always. I would have told you who is arjun shastri; whose calls I used to get and where I used to go)
Toh ab btao; main jaannna chahta hoon ki kon hai who; kiska phone aata hai tumhe aur tum kahan gayab rehti ho? Om asks her ( then tell me now. I want to know everything)
Kiss haq se pooch rahe hain hai aap humse?? Gauri asks him shouting in tears.. ( with what right are you asking me now?)
Pati hoon main tumhara; haq hai mera he grips her shoulders again... ( I'm your husband dammit!! It's my right)
Pati... she says in a humourless laugh! Aapne toh kabhi nhn maana na humari shaadi ko; fer kaise hue aap humari pati? Gauri asks him.. ( husband! Hahhah...you never considered our wedding as one. Then how in the world are you my husband)
Aur ab hum bhi apne aap ko aapki patni nhn maante...gauri declares wiping her tears..
( and now I don't consider myself to be your wife)
Color drains off his face hearing her declare; Haan ab tumhe koi aur jo mil gya hai; yehi toh kaam hai tumhara; paise waalon ko fassaana he aata hai tumhe. Pehle kaali Thakur; fer main aur ab arjun... Om says with jealousy... ( yes why not. Not that you have found somebody else why would you want to consider yourself as my wife. This is what you have been doing since beginning; first kaali Thakur; then me and finally arjun)
Jo bhi samjh lijiye aap! Hume koi faraq nhn hai aapki soch se. Aapne waise bhi humare baare main kabhi kuch acha socha nhn hai aur na he hume aage ke liye koi umeed hai... Gauri tells him broken from inside; broken because again she is being misjudged; but she is broken because she was in love with him.. ( You can think as you please! I don't give a damn to what you think about me. Never have you ever thought something decent about me in the past and nor do I expect you to in the future)
Aise kaise faraq nhn padhta tumhe?? Tumhare liye toh humari shaadi bahut maayine rakhti thi na; tumahre Shankar ji ka aashirvaad thin a yeh shaadi toh kyun faraq nhn padhta tumhe?? Om asks afraid as if his fears are coming true ( How do you not care?? Our wedding mattered to you; didn't it? You considered it as your shankarji's blessing didn't you?? Then why do you not care?)
Haan rakhti thi; par ab nhn. Aashirvaad tha par ab nhn. Ab kuch nhn.
Hume faraq nhn padta kyunki hum yahaan se jaa rahe hain..gauri declares while packing her bag.. ( yes it did; but not anymore. It was a blessing; but not anymore. Now it doesn't matter anymore. I don't care anymore because I am leaving)
Jaa rahe hain?? Kahan?? Aur tum bina jawaab diye kahin nhn jaa rahi ho?? Samjhi?? Om declares... ( going away?? Where?? And you can't walk off without answering me. Do you understand??)
Aapke sach jaanne se humara faisla nhn badalne waala toh issiliye hume rokne ki aur sach jaanne ki koshish bhi mat kijiye...gauri tells him without any emotions ( I won't change my decision even after you know the entire truth so don't even try to know the truth and stop me)
Wo main decide karunga? Tum mujhe yeh btao ki kyun tumne shaadi shuda hote hue bhi kisi doosre aadmi ke saath najaayz rishta rakha? Kyun? Thoda waqt maanga tha maine tumse apni feelings samjhane ke liye? Kya tumse utna sa intezaar nhn hua?? Om asks her softly ( I get to decide that. You just tell me why despite of being married did you go and sleep around with another man? Why? I had asked you for some time to come to terms with my feelings. Why could you not wait??)
Done with her packing she turns around; removing her mangalsutra and setting all the gifts she had received by her in laws on the bed...she says!
Humne kuch galat na he tab kiya tha; aur na he ab kiya hai. Galatfehyimiyan paalna aapki poorani aadat hai jo aap badalna nhn chahte.. Duniya main bahut se aur gauri naam ki ladkiyan bhi hain akele hum nhn hai gauri. ( Neither did I do any sin in the past nor did I now. You have the habit of misunderstanding people and you don't want to change that for reasons known to you. This world has many gauris in here; I am not the only gauri)
Yeh kya kar rahi ho tum?? He asks her setting all the gifts ... ( what are you upto??)
Jo humara nhn hai wo aapko saunp rahe hain...she replies. ( I am sorting out what's not mine)
Kya matlab hai iss sab ka?? He asks her even though he can see what is coming ( what does all this mean)
Yehi ki bahut dukh aur dard de diya aapna aur bahut she liya humne; ab aur na he aapko haq hai hume dard den aka aur na he Shakti hai humme sehn karne ki...she tells him ( This means that I am done! You have given me enough pain and heart break and I have bore enough. Neither do you have the right to hurt me anymore nor do I have the patience to tolerate)
Handing him the mangalsutra in his hands; she starts to walk out of the room with her luggage but stops and without turning she says; humare ateet ke baare main aapko kuch btaana chahte hain; kaali thaakur se hum nhn; wo bhudha humse shaadi karna chahta tha; akela wo nhn uske bhai bhi humse shaadi karna chahte the kyunki bech diya tha humare chacha chachi ne hume... Hum uske hukum maanne par majboor the kyunki usne humari maa ko kidnap kiya tha..jaise aap apni maa ke liye kuch bhi kar sakte hain waise he hum bhi apni maa ke liye kuch bhi kar sakte hain... ( I want to update you about my past. Kali Thakur wanted to maary me; I didn't want to marry that oldie. Infact not just kali Thakur; his brothers too because I was sold to him by my uncle-aunt. I was forced to obey him like a slave because he had my mother in his captivity. I love my mother just like you do and trust me I can do anything for her.)
And coming to;
Arjun shastri was my English teacher. I wanted to learn English to save you from the embarrassment you would have to face because of me otherwise. Shivay bhaiya was the one to enroll me in those classes and I agreed. I had hidden it from you so that I could surprise you at the right moment BUT...not everything you think comes true! He was the one who used to call me regarding classes and he was the one who gave me online classes when I was taking care of my sick mother.
Omkara one more thing .. I loved you; I loved you more than anyone in this world; but I certainly don't love you more than my self respect...
She starts to walk out but om holds and turns her...
Sorry gauri! mujhe la...laga...ki om starts stuttering... ( I thought)
Laga ki yeh characterless ladki hai; jab dekho tab naye naye aadmiyon ke paas chali jaati hai.. Par omkaraji har aurat waise nhn hoti jaise aapki zindagi main pehle thi...jab humne aapko kabhi judge nhn kiya toh aapko yeh haq kisne diya ki aap hume Karen wo bhi unn baton ke liye jo aapko pta he nhn.. Gauri tells him ( You thought that gauri is a characterless girl; who just hunts down new men everyday. But omkaraji let me just fill you up that not women in this world are like the ones you hav encountered in your past. When I didn't judge you for your past then who gave you the right to judge me especially when you don't know anything about me)
Nhn gauri aise baat nhn hai.. ... Please mujhe ek mauka de do; main apni galati sudhaarna chahta hoon..om asks her kneeling down while holding her hands... ( no gauri..it's not like that. Please give me a chance gauri; I want to repent gauri)
Freeing her hands; she kneels down and says! Omkara ji hum jitna pyaar aapse karte the utna he pyaar hum apne aap se aur apni self respect se karte hain...Aur usike chalte hum aapko mauka nhn de sakte ; nhn de sakte mauka aapko hume dubaara dukh pahunchane ka. Omkaraji aaj tak humara job hi rishta tha usme keval hum jhukhe hain; sab kuch humne saha hai bina kisi uff ke; baatein humne suni hain; aapne kabhi hume patni nhn maana hum chup rahe par ab nhn! Baat humari maa ke diye sanskaaron ki hai aur iss baar hum chup nhn rahenge. Ab tak aapne humare faisle liye hain par ab hum khud lenge. Aur humara faisla hai ki hum nhn jhukenge. ( Omkaraji! I love my self respect as I loved you. And owing to that I can't come up with giving you another chance; a chance to hurt me once more. Omkaraji; I was the one to mould; I was the one to listen to everything that people said without a hiss; I was the one to bear everything in a relation we have shared. I was quiet when you decided to not consider and give me the position of your wife but now It's about my mother's morals and I wouldn't be quiet. Till now you have decided my fate but this time I will decide it and I choose to not bend.)
She kisses him on his forehead and says khush rahiyega hamesha aur kisi aur se shaadi kar lijiyega ek aisi ladki se jo aapke kaabil ho ( Be happy always and get married to somebody who deserves you)
Nhn meri shaadi hui hai tumse aur main pyaar karta hoon tumse...om says ( No; I am married to you and I love you)
Wo pyaar nhn daya hai humpar; wo guilt hai aapki!...gauri tells her..
Aur humari shaadi aapn na he maante hain aur na he wo yahan pe registered hai...she adds ( That feeling isn't love. It's a favor on me; it's your guilt. And you have never considered our marriage to be true; moreover it isn't even registered here)
With this she stands up; taking and picturizing her omkaraji for one last time she walks off; walks off in search of a better life.
She was broken----yes
But did she regret?---- No.
She will rise up from all those accusations; she knew she wasn't wrong; her shankarji knew she wasn't wrong and that was what all mattered. She didn't care what the world thinks about her; she no more cares what omkara thinks about her----She reached her saturation and she was glad she parted ways. Even though the damage was done; but there is nothing that can stop her from rising back again; to show the world who gauri kumara sharma is..
Tried writing something on the separation track! I hope this was upto the mark. Wanted to initially write a drabble but then it went longer...
I will be waiting for your comments and likes guys!!
Thank you so much for reading!
love you all...
