<Conclusion>
"Omkaaraji" He stopped his work midway and turned at this unusual mild voice, otherwise cheekier.
"Wo. aapse kuch kehna hai"
Something big is coming, his intuition said.
"Kya"
"Meri mann ki baat"
She isn't going to profess her love unless he accepts her as his wife, his mind warned his already excited heart
"Main todi din ke liye, Bareilly jaana chahthi hoon. Rudy bhaiyya ki kehne pe hi, main shaadi tak rukhi. Ab toh sab teek ho gayi hain, to issliye main shaadi ki baad apni maa ki paas todi din rehna chahthi hoon"
Is she saying she will be off only for few days? But what if she doesn't come back? His heart grew restless and mind was already thinking 101 ways to stop her though deviating from the exact cause which would make her stay with him forever.
"Wo gauri. Tum.."
She stopped him midway.
"Omkaara ji. Mujhe lagtha hain aapko aur waqt chahiye, humhaari bare mein apni dil aur dimaag mein ek faisla lene ke liye. Ye baar baar meri wapas aana jaana bahut ho gayi Omkaaraji. Main yeh kar kar ke taq chuki hoon. Issliye main jaa rahi hoon, taaki aap aakhri faisla le sakhe. Aap ki zindagi ki faisla, aap khud lete hain. Toh sochiye iss rishthe ki bare mein kya karna hain. Aur wo kijiye, jo aapki mann kehta hain"
"Gauri. Please.. yeh sab ke liye tumhe Bareilly jaane ki zaroorat nahi. Hum yahan hoke bhi sort out kar sakthe hain na. Agar tum Bareilly ja bhi leti, to maa se kya kahegi. Aur yahan daadi, sab log se kya kahenge hum?" He tried his frantic best to stop her from leaving since the very idea of her leaving gave him jitters and an unpleasant pain.
"Yeh sab tab maine rakthe hain, jab aap ko iss rishthe nibaani hoti hain. Agar aisa nahi hain, in sab ki koi matlabi nahi hain"
He knew he had been cornered and he had to say something if he really wants to stop her from leaving now.
"Maine kab kaha main kuch nibhaana nahi chahtha hoon?"
She locked the door, came close and held his arms. The usual gesture that he does to her.
"Toh batayiye iss rishtha kaise nibhayenge, jab aap humpe viswaas nahi karte, pyaar nahi karte or naahi patni mante"
"Gauurri... I accept that so much has happened in past. Par mein galat tha. But humhaare beech itna kuch hogaya hain, ki wo sab ko aise hi brush off karke achanak sab scratch se start karna itna asaani nahi hain. Issliye I am taking some time, kyunki I was the one who misunderstood you. So dheere dheere hum sort out karlenge aur.."
"Yeh aap itni mehnat kyun kar rahe? Sab kuch pehle se kyun shuru karna chahthe hain?"
"Wo.. kyunki.. wo"
She moved an inch closer, held his hands together and stared into his eyes with all her heart.. Damn, I can't just get away from this eyes, his heart pounded.
He continued after a while "Kyunki main tumhe chodna nahi chahtha" His groggy, deep and calm voice had a slight heaviness to it.
"Phir aap jodna bhi nahi chahthe hain na?" Despite her resolve, her eyes soaked in tears and her face turned red with all the pent up frustration, which only he can soothe with his embrace.
He tried to turn away, but she wasn't ready to leave. She held his hand in a way that he couldn't pull it away so easily.
"aaj aap humhaare sawaal ki jawaab dete bina jaa nahi sakthe. Boliye Jodna bhi nahi chahthe naa?"
"Haan"
There was a heavy long silence followed by this one word. All that could be heart was a sound of weeping hearts torn between love and the past misadventures. The fact that word shattered her was clearly evident from her face, as she left his hand and turned back, unable to control the pain of her broken heart. Again, he has effortlessly broken her heart into a thousand pieces!!
While she was combating her bruised heart, he felt pain and numbness every other corner of his body to see her weep like that. All he wanted was to take back that word and take her into his arms to hold still till the world ever lasts.
"Kaise jod saktha main.." His voice was bogged down with emotions
She raised her head slowly..
"Kaise jod saktha main..? Kaisi tumhe apni patni keh saktha main, jab maine tum par vishwaas hi nahi kiya, tumhe wo kaali ki haath pe chodkar aaya aur sabse pehle tumhaari charithra par inzaam lagaya. Kis tarah ki pati yeh sab karta, bolo?"
She turned at him looking startled and froze at the realization of the heavy daggers waiting upon their relationship. She never saw him like that, face reddened with guilt, frustration, sadness & shame together.
He held her arms unable to bear his own weight, with utmost frustration on himself.
"Bolo..tum mujhe pati kehti ho na? Kyun kehti ho? Kis tarah ki pati apni biwi ko itni low treat karta hain? Sirf maang mein apni khoon bharne se yaa agni ki samne phere lene se main pati hogaya hoon? Tumhe ghiri hui aurat bulata tha? Bhool gayi ho? Jab tum keh rahi thi, tum pregnant ho, I thought it wasn't my child. Bolo tum mujhe wakhri pati manna chahthi ho?"
She stood like a statue while he continued as if he wasn't able to stop, as if she instigated a fission reaction.
"Pati patni ki rishthe ki aadhaar prem, vishwaas aur samman hota hain. Maine in teeno mein se kuch nahi diya tumhe, phir main pati kaise banoon. Agar main banoonga bhi, sirf naam ke liye hoga Gauri kyunki iss rishthe ki aadhar hi hil gaya"
"Omkaara ji.. jo kuch bhi hua, halaat ki wajah se.." She tried to speak amidst her uncontrollable tears.
"Haalat.. haalat kharab tha.. accept karta hoon. Par kuch din pehle bhi, jab tum mujhe chod kar gayi, main tumhaari wo bhaai dandi se bola, tum kaali ke paas gayi ho. Vishwaas tab hua tha jab dandi aake mujhe suna diya. Kya tumhe lagtha hain, ek teesri insaan ki kehene pe main apni biwi par vishwaas karna chahunga? Tum mere liye itna kuch karthi rahi.. aur maine kya kiya.. Sirf tumhe beizaat kiya aur shayad khud ko bhi. Main kabhi socha nahi tha, ki ye life mein, ek ladki ki saathi itni badtameezi se behave karoonga, usse itni illtreat karoonga. Tumhe ghiri hui aurat keh kehkar main shayad bahut kuch ghir gaya life mein"
Gauri tried to clutch his arms, but he moved away as if he hated his own self.
"Omkaara ji"
"Bas karo.. Main koi bhagwaan nahi hoon. Tumhaare liye ek achi insaan bhi nahi hoon. Meri saath patni banker rehna tumhaare liye achi baat nahi hain. Issliye main tumhe khud ke saath jod nahi saktha hoon, kyunki u deserve much more" Tears flew down from his eyes as his body straightened in unusual hardness hiding the emotional turmoil he is going through.
"Omkaaraji.." She wished she would say, she didn't think so. She wished she would say otherwise. She wished she would say that all she wanted was him and only him.
"Par haan, jab tak main zinda hoon, your welfare is my responsibility. Tum mujhse jo mangna hain mango. Main dene ke liye tayyar hoon. Tumhaari khushi hi mere liye sabse important hai" His heart brimmed with love which came down as tears, given the irony of the situation.
"Main jo kuch bhi mangoonga aap de doge?" She was determined.
"Haan"
"Mujhe sirf aap chahiye. Aapki alava mujhe kuch nahi chahiye. Agar aap nahi hain, aur kuch hone ya na hone se mujhe koi faraq nahi padtha"
<The End>
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
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