Metanoia
|| Part One ||
If it had not been the shrill ring of his phone, he doubted if he would have ever averted his gaze from her.
Mom Calling...
Nothing was really making sense, he thought but then, he corrected everything was now making sense.
Preoccupied with a bundle of thoughts, he did not want to talk with the woman, whom he kept before God, whom he loved more than he loved himself.
Just then, he felt her hand on his shoulder. He looked up. She blinked her eyes, nodding her head towards the phone.
"Hello... yes, Mom."
He still called her Mom, despite of knowing, she wasn't his mother but that wouldn't have mattered to him, the much it did, now... after knowing she had blackmailed his wife for getting out of his life.
"Shivaay... kaha hai tu? Ghar aa, abhi. Mujhe tujhse baat karni hai. Waisa nahi hai jaisa tu samajh raha hai. Samajh kya raha hai, uss ladki ne tere dimag me dala hai. Tu mera baccha hai, hai na?"
"Yes Mom."
"Ghar aa ja, jaldi. Mai intezaar kar rahi hu."
Disconnecting the call, he switched off his mobile, dropping it in his pocket. Anika glanced at him asking him, "What did she say?"
"That you are lying."
He had replied casually, moving from her and he made it to the bed. He had been tired with everything. His body needed some relaxation, after all.
Her eyes widen in horror and she rushed towards him. "No, Shivaay. I am not."
Guilt had been already eating her up since the time he had confessed, fark padta hai. A decision had changed their lives, forever. A decision had led them to divorce. A decision had broken one in agony while had consumed another in the fire of having destroyed her own love.
That very moment, his words had shaken her when he had admitted frankly under effect of Bhaang, meri khushi tumhare sath hai Anika making her rethink, if it was really worth, what she did.
She had pushed him in an illusion of her very own created mirage which had caused him immense pain... only to protect him from another pain.
The deal did not certainly turn very profitable.
She should have told him, earlier. That was all, going in her mind since that day when she let out everything to him.
"Shivaay... believe me."
Her plead rang in his ears and he straightened himself. "I believe everything you do, Anika. I trusted what you did three months before too. That is why I did, what I did... because I trusted your actions but I think I shouldn't have."
She gasped for air, feeling a lump in her throat.
"It's okay. I know... you aren't lying." Adding up, he passed on the glass of water from the side table to her, looking at her paled face.
"If only you had that trust on me, you wouldn't have believed the sham I was trying to create and I... even successfully did. You would have stopped me, would have seen my tears, and would have heard the screams of my heart but you did not, Mr. Oberoi. Even at the time of Daksh fiasco, you did not believe me until it was proved to you that I was innocent, did you? Do you remember the words you had said to me that time? I really, really hope you do because if you don't then I might just get to Khanna for the yet another video which I am sure, he must be having. At least itna to yaad hoga that you had called me characterless, bazaaroo woman who sleeps around for money. Hoga na yaad?"
Where did that come from? He thought as she crossed her arms to her chest, finishing off. Weren't she supposed to apologize for what she did and make him believe that it wasn't her fault? But she actually did it, didn't she? But mere three sentence from him regarding trust and she ended up pulling out each incident from past where he had shown how much trust he actually had on her. Being sarcastic was it.
"For which I have already apologized." He replied blatantly, thinking probably she had forgotten things or she remembered only that benefited and strengthen her points.
"It is so easy for you, isn't it? Like calling someone characterless and get away with a sorry? WOW." Ah so much suppressed anger, disappointments and frustration!
Breaking the silence, she decided to take it lightly. He was going through a lot, she knew but still he would never make it visible as he was the Shivaay Singh Oberoi. Actually, he wasn't, was he? That was a complicated problem to answer. Anika wasn't unaware of what Naam, khoon and khandan meant to him. In fact she knew it the best and knowing, on basis of what he had judged people... he himself, did not have any of them was just not easy to sink in but he cut off her unsaid words.
"I was trying to repent every wrong I did to you. I was going to propose you. I was going to marry you Anika but it was you who..."
No matter how much she did not want to argue with him at that point but he was just making it harder. After all, she was no God but a normal human being who was equally bound with the feelings and emotions and right now, he was invoking everything inside her that would not turn out good but would only cause more fights.
"Aap ehsaan kar rahe the Shivaay? Why and how exactly do you feel, that by proposing me, you can repent everything, can take off the memories when you forced me, threatened me? How? Why could have I agreed to marry you? You who never respected me?"
"Because I lo..."
"Please don't, Shivaay. Dont say that you loved me because you never respected me and you can never love the person, you don't respect." She was going a little overboard and she would admit that but it was what, she felt and believed in.
He had not replied anything after that. All he did, was to stare in her eyes that were transparent enough to reflect the emotions they held in them.
"So now what? Ab itna sab bata diya hai to ye bhi bata do hame aage kya karna chahiye?" He inhaled a breath shifting his gaze from her.
"Aapko? Nagini se shaadi."
She gasped for air when she got a deadly glare from him. Why doesn't he laugh? She wondered for the angry look he was just throwing at her. Probably this is not funny. She put up a possibility. But come on, this is funny. She reasoned herself while trying to suppress her giggles.
"Okay okay, sorry!" She quickly apologized when his expression turned sterner.
"Aap thik hai?" He heard her whispering in a low voice.
Thik? He had a tornado revolving inside him. He hadn't yet accepted the truth of his birth or probably he had; only he knew.
"I need some time. Right now, I am going home. I suggest you dont come along now." He had left the bed as he let her know that he was leaving for Oberoi Mansion whereas he asked her to stay at Chanda's place, not sure about the earthquake that was about to knock in some time at his home. Even before she could say anything, he had given one long stare at her before he left.
***
Wohooo😳😆 Trust me when I say, I had decided I won't post this... not at any cost when I was typing this out. But now, I am just so happy [which I usually am not😛] that I am posting this 🤣 I got my AMCAT result today and I scored 96% in verbal i.e. English. Woah I mean seriously😆 I remember it was 95.1 last time. I am least affected with scores of other sections even though they are almost equal. Okay I know I am rambling but its okay, sometimes, right?🤣 It feels damn good if your score is nice when you haven't even opened your book once.😆
This story will be completed, I promise.😆
And I don't believe in promises are meant to be broken.🤣
Do leave your likes and feedbacks if you are reading this. They might just make me type the updates sooner😳
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