Poison and Wine - A Shivika Song OS

His eyes were lost, yet his soul had been found, after months of clouded vision, of bitterness and anguish, of pretense and of strength.

She was awarded a new breath of life, something new to hold onto, another memory, a newer souvenir of the only man she would ever dare to love.

The sharp blade of reality sliced into her unapologetically as he swirled her around in his arms, pulling her into him, the woman gently smiling up to his stoic face.

A hand tugged at hers, and before she knew it, the tray of bruschetta was removed and replaced by his hand, and she was dragged along to the dance floor despite her protests. She could feel those icy blue eyes brooding, emitting flickers of flames as she danced with her newly found friend, and boss, though he never liked her to refer to him so formally.

Behind her, Shivaay twirled Ragini into his arms, Annika's tears frozen inside of her, she was too cold, too numb to let them fall, for if they fell, she would fall too, all over again. And he, would break, all over again, though she did not know.

When her friend and her ex-husband twirled her and Ragini respectively and switched partners, the universe sighed in contentment, as if it were finally at peace, even if it were for just a moment. The stars whispered, the skies hushed them, eager to listen, to witness, the two reckless souls they had been shooting coincidences at, hits and misses, love and loss.

You only know what I want you to

It was amazing the way his arms found hers, and hers, his. Without a fumble, without one hand, not even hand, let alone a finger being placed sloppily where it was not supposed to be. He received her as if he had been waiting forever after memorizing her anatomy, her eyes, her soul. Like puzzle pieces, they joined their bodies in dance. They always fit. They always did. She looked into his eyes, and found exactly what she had expected. After all, she spoon-fed him into his current view of her. However, it was laced with something else, wonder? Confusion? Curiosity? Is that something warmer? Is it something he is trying to hide? Maybe she was just seeing things. She sighed, debating if to agree to her heart strings, which were tugging at her, craving, begging, pleading. Could she let him take her breath away without her complete and final destruction? She'd probably never have another chance to feel this, her hands on his shoulder, his fingers brushing her waist, right where her torso curved in. He held her as if he had held her every day, since the beginning of time itself. Could she enjoy it without crumbling at his feet? Her eyes stared up, bravely, prepared to stand tall, to face him and all his touches, ready to savor the scent of him, a memory to add to her collection. You can do it, Annika. Do it tonight, and it will be worth it for the rest of your life.

I know everything you don't want me to

His eyes hardened, trying to mask what he knew he could not hide. Destiny was capable of sick games, he knew it. But this time, cruelty was at its finest. He was about to wound his life to another, finally taking a step forward, when suddenly bombarded with the ridiculously unbelievable truth of the past he had hoped to leave behind. Now to top it off, he was seeing her, the bane of his existence. She hadn't meant any of it. He felt himself soften, looking at her, she looked miserably beautiful. He didn't know if he was miserable that she looked beautiful, or that she looked beautiful even though she was clearly miserable. Maybe both. He knew she was okay, she looked healthy, happy enough, she had never needed anyone. She probably numbed him out of her life before she left. But she had been happier. With him. Her eyes didn't twinkle with the enchantments he had grown to adore anymore. He noticed an ongoing debate in her eyes and unconsciously brushed his thumb at her waist, saying, yes, give in.

Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine

He chided himself for wanting her, all over again. This was her choice. She chose this. She wanted to leave me rather than pick up the pieces. She made the pieces herself, only to let them shatter twice. Had she stayed, the truth would have broken me once. Now that I know, what difference does it make? For I was already a broken man the minute I had rid my life of her, thanks to the ridiculous woman herself. You can't break a broken man. Women were foolish, incredibly foolish. Beautiful, sacrificial, loving, but foolish. Terribly foolish.

You think your dreams are the same as mine

The pain swimming around the random specks of amusement in those ocean-like depths consumed her, her heart speeding up, wondering what made him look at her like that. Why did he look at her as if he was hiding his hurt from her, not to put up a front, but rather to save her from more hurt? She wished she could drop herself into his arms, her mind slowly unraveling all thoughts, her heart reveling in the control it had been given. If only he would let her. If only she would let herself. If only she could love him. If only he could love her.

Oh I don't love you but I always will

He saw it. He saw the tears about to form. Exactly how much pain had she been enduring? No, She wanted this. There's no turning back now. She never trusted me enough with the truth. I can't let her swallow me again. She never loved me. He spun her, in an attempt to get a breath of air without her scent, and permit her the same.

Oh I don't love you but I always will

I always loved you Shivaay. I always will. I can't, but I do. I'm sorry. Please don't hate me, at least not for these few moments. But don't look at me like this either. As if you feel for me, after everything I have done, as if you know the pain I have been trying to hide. Don't make me love you anymore than I already do, because I can't.

Oh I don't love you but I always will

She twirled back into him, his arms around her waist and hers, around his neck. There was no going back. She knew she could no longer disguise the love and pain in her eyes. Her regret. Her guilt.

I always will

I fell... I can't believe it. But I fell for you.

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back

He's looking at me with those eyes, understanding? Hurt? Care? L... I don't even want to try to figure out what's in them right now, because it's something I know I don't deserve, I can tell that much. Get out of his arms now. She stepped away, turning around, only to be pulled against him, her back to his torso. A totally new surge of emotions flowed through her. Memories of him hugging her, pulling her against him in a similar, danced across her eyes as they threatened to flutter close. Oh no.

The less I give the more I get back

Why is it when I try to fix things, you hurt me and walk away? When I pull you close, you move away? His breath down her neck questioned her entire being, the world reeling around her head. Her center of alignment no longer withstanding the tremors of her core, she was slowly becoming undone.

Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise

She turned and he chuckled sadly, her hands on him again. The hands that burnt, also soothed. She touched him with fire, and her eyes doused them, her brown doe shaped eyes peering up at him, capturing his into an intimate eye-lock, glistening with nostalgia. Pooling with musings and what ifs.

I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you

One look, and I can't catch my breath. This is what you do to me. Even when I can't want you, I do. Even when I should not want you, I do. Why can't you want me enough too? Why couldn't you want me enough back then?

Oh I don't love you but I always will

I have to go. She tried to turn and wriggled out of his embrace. This time he let go. It was time to let go, he finally realised. When she turned around swiftly, his eyes flashed up at once, however, a dazzling flicker caught his attention, just for a fraction of a second. His palm tugged at her wrist, drawing him to her. She was stunned as he lifted a shaky hand, pointing toward her chest. He couldn't know, could he?

I always will

She tried to make a run for it, but he would not let her. His blue eyes, the ones that made her fall in love, began doing that very thing all over again. There was something about the way he looked at her, almost as if he were dreaming. His hand trembled as his fingers touched her chest.

He knew.

Inhaling sharply, he slid a finger through it, turning it over in his hand, resting the back of his fingers against her chest finally. She closed her eyes, shuddering, her chest heaving against his fingers, the last symbol of their relationship ever existing, now exposed to him, the delicate ring which hung around her swan-like neck. Caught. Red-handed.

I always will

Just tell me why. He leaned his forehead to hers, caging her and now, she was too tired to fight. The months made her weary. She breathed against his chin, her eyes closed. Listening to the words radiating off his body, his mind, his heart. She knew he needed to know why. If she were to die today, at least he should know why she had done this. She forced her eyes to convey that which she knew he wanted to see.

I always will

Because I love you. Her whimpers answered him, a lone tear streaking her cheek.

I always will.

You broke me twice because you love me? The woman who chose hate over a child she raised, who chose money over that very child who loved her all his life, who tried to sabotage him, destroy his married life, well she succeeded didn't she... The woman who could induce pain to her son to hurt his love? You let her win?

His sea-like blue green orbs turned dark and daunting, weak flames of anger shooting up. How could she do this to me?

I always will

I had no choice. Her tears answered, her eyes doing the rest, after being freed from each pregnant water droplet.

I always will.

He was about to twist her arm but then, he realized how cold and fragile it felt. The woman before him had finally stripped her mask. She looked nothing close to happy, nothing close to herself. Her beauty was faded, her eyes were gloomy and filled with tears of her haunting days. Enough was enough. Maybe she had been punished enough. Maybe if there was still more to be done, she'd see the rest of her punishment being with him.

Now you have a choice. Pick me. Please. Now. Forever.

I always will

Choking on tears, she refused to answer, enraging him as he stalked away, yanking the chain off her neck.

In a swift movement, through those blurred wet eyelids of hers, she saw the woman who had been eyeing them sternly, gasp, though she did not look surprised, and try to hold Shivaay as he told her something, softly, discretely. Annika's new friend consoled his sister, his eyes full of fire for their own reasons.

Without a second to understand what was going on, the ring was placed on her finger once more, before he commanded, "Come home."

I always will